#still kinda wanna go with 'jacob and jessie just never remember each other' tbh

[adelaidedrubman]

For the deputy oc asks, 1,2 and 18-20?

thank you dear!! sorry these took a hot fucking minute, i appreciate you sending <3

1. What’s their name?

Jestiny Ellen Rook

2. How old are they?

28 circa 2018. (DOB April 13, 1990)

18. How do they feel about John?

feel? she doesn’t really particularly feel anything about him but annoyed, but if you’d like to know her well reasoned and entirely dispassionate thoughts and observations about him, they are as follows:

just kidding of course, i wouldn’t do that to the good folks at adelaidedrubmandottumblrdotcom, y’all aren’t mary may. john does annoy her with an unparalleled efficiency that just makes her instantly become hyperfocused on taking him down, spirals into a more generalized morbid fascination and obsession pretty quickly and she just feels very [killing eve i think about you all the time speech] about him. she consistently forgets the other heralds exist because she’s so focused on him. (as you can see below, in fact, all other heralds do exist almost exclusively in relation to john in her mind.) what she’s less open with herself about but is pretty clear from her behavior is that she also genuinely enjoys talking to him (way more so than most people she interacts with, their conversations are much more natural), and despite having genuine, intense animosity for him she desperately needs him to think she’s funny and cool and smart at all times. of the heralds, he’s the only one she feels like she has something to prove to. she cares what he thinks. she cares so fucking bad. (also, of course, there is the matter of the thinly veiled sexual attraction, but don’t tell her i told you that.)

she also says she wouldn’t hesitate to kill him, but, well. hesitate she has, and shall again. whether that’s because she takes more pleasure in toying with him, making him suffer, and reclaiming power from him than she would wiping him out efficiently, or because she feels some genuine kinship with and admiration for him, or some mix of the two, well. she’s certainly not in touch or honest with herself about her emotions to know. but whatever it is, it’s clear she’d miss having him around. and if she does finally follow through on killing him, it has to be a special moment, ya know?

19. How do they feel about Faith?

hoo boy. faith is easily the herald who scares her most, and she resents her and jacob in equal parts for using the bliss to get inside her head. (she considers it cheating. if someone wants to fuck her head up they should do it the old fashioned way via psychosexual mindgames played on a level playing field, thank you.) but faith’s bliss trips actually scare her more than jacob’s conditioning, those experiences tend to fuck more with her sense of reality and she’s not nearly as afraid of dying as she is losing herself or not knowing what’s real. she hates being out of control of her mind more than she hates being out of control of her body. she can’t just dissociate with faith and is forced to actually feel things. jessie also dislikes indirectness and hates more than almost anything cruelty delivered through a veneer of gentleness, so faith does repulse her in that sense. even in non blissed interactions with faith, jessie maintains a level of fear and distrust due to that trauma.

that being said, faith is also probably the herald jessie feels sympathy easiest for, both because she has more information on her via her eventual friendship tracey and because she tends to be more sympathetic towards women generally. she hates faith for what she’s done, but would struggle to kill her, and if she did it would likely be in an out of control fit of rage rather than a calculated attack.

20. How do they feel about Jacob? 

well that is certainly a man she has encountered. see above, re: deeply resents him for using bliss to get inside her head. but despite jacob having the ideology most personally offensive to her (power/strength should never be used to harm or take advantage of people weaker than you is the closest thing to a guiding moral philosophy she tries to implement in her life) jessie’s hatred for jacob is notably dispassionate compared to some people. if you go with the old adage that the opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s indifference, well. jacob is the seed sibling jestiny is furthest away from loving. while john has a cohesive belief system and emotional presence jessie can if nothing else feel deeply motivated to personally destroy, jacob’s apparent apathy inspires matching apathy in her. she thinks he’s a monster and has no goddamn honor, but she feels largely nothing about him.

if there’s one thing she does appreciate about him though, it’s that he’s the most upfront about how immoral his actions and motivations are. he doesn’t pretend he’s doing anything but overpowering her and others to impose his own will through brute force, and that is somewhat refreshing in an enemy. she feels some comparative comfort in how completely impersonal it is with him. she isn’t anything but a tool to him, no different from the other soldiers. she means nothing to him, he means nothing to her, and she likes the uncomplicatedness of that. on that note, she wouldn’t feel much of anything about killing him. she wouldn’t hesitate or feel guilty about it, but she also wouldn’t take any personal pleasure in it.