#stop saying gronk spike

[klobsquad]

If its clean, its Gronk

Warnings: Gronk spikes and tide pods

Word count:1694

Summary: a fantasy/horror/drama based completely on our experiences with Gronk’s cursed tide pod commercial

Notes We apologize in advance for what you’re about to read

i awake suddenly, sheer panic running through me. ripping the blanket off my body, the layer of sweat that lays on my skin is immediately hit with the frigid air of my room causing me to shiver. After a few moments, i start to realize where i am.

I'm in my living room on the couch. This is the first wink of sleep i've had in nearly 2 weeks. i think at least. time has started the run together after it, well, he, showed up. why haven't i slept? i've been too scared to let my guard down.

My phone lay broken, having thrown it against the wall several moons ago. Broken glass and piles of clothes are strewn throughout my apartment. Every electronic in my house has been either broken or hidden, yet somehow he’ll still manage to find me. i haven't left my apartment in weeks even though i ran out of food 4 days ago. I can't go to the store. I'm too afraid he'll be waiting at the end of the isle. I've been wearing the same outfit since it started, too scared to do even the most basic of household chores. doing laundry was banned a months back as an attempt to stop him.

The couch i lay on is pushed up hard against the wall, i'm laying on my side facing the back of the couch. the only electronic that hasn't been thrown out is my living room TV. I swear i've tried discarding it countless times, yet it keeps showing back up. The entire apartment, scratch that, city, is dead silent.

rumor has it, it started in new england, moving fast throughout the country. What started as random disappearances eventually became nationwide panic.

it wasn't long until he reached my home state of Texas. Most of the town had evacuated when the marks started showing up. Crater-like holes in the ground. 11 inches deep and 22 inches wide. The ground cracked and glowing around the marks, showing that he was getting somehow stronger.

Although I boarded up my windows when I caught wind that he was moving towards Texas, I still took a board down every so often. From my third floor apartment, I could see the marks starting to fill the town. He marked his territory right after he struck. Entire families disappeared at a time. Only once was a survivor found. She was found in the same clothing she was wearing when she went missing though they were suspiciously clean, almost as if they'd been washed then returned. She spoke in a hurried whisper, as if he was still watching her. Rumors soon filled the streets quicker than his markings. Apparently after her interrogation she was left alone in a cell at the local jail. When the officer came to retrieve her for more questioning, she had scribbled the number "87" and "bands a make her dance" on every square inch of the cell. Investigator after investigator was brought in, yet none of them could decipher what it meant. After three days of questioning, the only valuable thing they got out of her was a description of him. He was large, solid, his muscles constantly glistening. He towered over everyone, though he wasn't intimidating, the exact opposite actually. He had a boyish charm, soft brown eyes and youthful smile. Apparently he loves to dance, frequently droppin' it low and booty poppin' on them haters. Most notably was his hands. In her words they were "damn near leviathan. I never knew someone could have hands like that. It ain't normal. I'd be lying if it wasn't hot though.". The police were immediately on even higher alert. With such a specific description, it couldn't be hard to find him right? Wrong. She forgot to mention one detail. His speed. For a man of his size, he's unusually nimble.

I snap back to reality at the sound of the metal entrance door 3 floors below me opening and closing. My heart pounding. "Maybe it's just the neighbor" I tried to tell myself, though deep down I knew it wasn't. Even if they hadn't evacuated with everyone else, there's no way Mr. dolly, an 96 year old war vet could open and slam that door with such little effort. my gut and my head were at war. My gut was telling me it was him, the man I spent months hiding from. Yet my head was trying to come up with any other possibility. They were coming up the stairs, fast. I was paralyzed. Still laying on the couch, i covered my head with the fleece red sox blanket I got last Christmas, before this all started.

*BANG* *BANG*

They were knocking. I could barely hear the pounding on the door over my racing heart. Seconds feel like hours, waiting for the sound to stop, for whoever it is to go away.

After what feels like an eternity, the pounding stops. I exhale for the first time in minutes. Moments later a loud scraping sound fills the room.

He's here and he's removed the door.

There was nothing besides me and my red sox blanket separating us both. His presence sent chills down my spine. I could feel him standing in the corner of the room.

He was waiting for something.

*click*

The dim light of the TV immediately filled the dark room. I open my eyes suddenly as patterns of colored light dance off the walls. He's still waiting, but he keeps going back to the hall he came from. Almost as if he's loading something into my apartment. Suddenly the room goes yellow and orange. He gets into position. I turn around slowly, not knowing what to will be waiting on me when I turn around.

There he is, in all his glory. The survivor described him perfectly. He was dressed in a fitted grey tank top, joggers, and sneakers. He was oddly handsome given the circumstances. Unmarked boxes were stacked floor to ceiling, covering ever surface. One box, the one closest to him is open. He grabs a handful of whatever is in the box.

I'm frozen. Horrified.

3.

The tv shows a laundry room.

2.

He looks at  me intently, his boyish smile shining full force in the low light.

It's time.

1.

"Hi! Welcome to tide pods talk with Gronk. I'm Gronk. I'm big, *flex* and awesome. But this guy-" he chucks a fist full of tide pods at my body. I'm utterly speechless. "-Is little, can it really clean?". He rips the doors off my linen closet, scooping every single piece of laundry up in one scoop, even the clothes I'm wearing. Opening the washer, he throws the clothing in with a loud boom before dropping a couple Tide Pods™️ into the load. Im left sitting on the couch, ass naked, as the New England Patriots Tight End does my laundry.

He resumes his spot at the corner of my living room. Staring blankly at me as we both wait for the washer to finish its cycle.

45 minutes of silence later, the washer pings signaling the end of the wash. He once again grabs the entire load of laundry in one incredibly toned arm, spiking it into the dryer like it's a ball into the end zone. He spots my stained patriots jersey in the load. Pulling it out, he slips me a note then once again goes back to the spot in the corner. I'm still naked.

Clearing his throat, he make gesture with his hands I take it as a cue to open the note. It reads "ask Gronk if Tide Pods™️  really clean" in very messy handwriting that I'm pretty sure is done in crayon.

I'm once again stunned.  He holds up the jersey. My once beer and chicken wing stained jersey is now completely clean. He makes another gesture, prompting me to speak this time. "D-do Tide Pods™️ really clean?" Im shaking at this point, not because I'm nervous, but because it's 68° outside and I'm still naked. With the enthusiasm of a kid on a sugar high, he answers the age old question I just asked.  "Heck yeah they do!" His eyes twinkling as he speaks.

The boards blast off my windows. Rainbow light streams into the room. I’m still naked. The missing people immediately flood the streets. He's smiling again, and you guessed it, I'm still naked. A chorus of cheers fills the streets "You saved us! We were stuck in the realm of stained laundry! Bless you!" A tear runs down his cheek as he falls to his knees. "I've been searching for you, thou chosen one. If you may take me, I ask for you hand in marriage. Together we can continue to bring stain free clothing to people across the land!" The crowd outside cheers, completely ignoring the fact homie refuses to give me any clothing. Instead he whips out a ring, and by ring I mean a ring pop band with a Tide Pod™️ hot glued to the top. He slips it on my finger before I can respond. I'm soon being twirled in a blinding golden light. I emerge, fully clothed in a ball gown made completely out of Tide Pods™️. He picks me up bridal style and runs out to the hallway before quickly bounding down the stairs four at a time. In the way down I look at my ring. After not eating for days it looks surprisingly tasty. Bringing my left hand up to my face, he stops dead in his tracks and drops me. My cat like reflexes come into play and I land on my feet, breaking both my legs after falling from such a height. Somehow I'm still standing, the power of Tide Pods™️ holding me up. I immediately pop the ring into my mouth and before chewing. The detergent rolls down my chin. His screams fill the room as he realizes what I've done. "How could you do this to me?!" I look up, like really far up because I’m literally 5’0”, and meet his eyes. I match his boyish smile from earlier, though this time my smile is filled with detergent.

"What can I say? I'm Gen Z."

[bongaboi]

I rewatched every fourth quarter Tom Brady has played in a Super Bowl. Here’s what I saw

I rewatched every fourth quarter Tom Brady has played in a Super Bowl. Here’s what I saw By Chad Finn Globe Staff,Updated February 5, 2021, 9:59 a.m.

Of all the Patriots’ staggering achievements in their two-decade dynasty, there’s one obscure statistic that I struggle to comprehend.

In their nine Super Bowl appearances, they never scored a first-quarter touchdown, and in fact scored just 3 points in the opening quarter in total, a Stephen Gostkowski field goal in Super Bowl LII versus the Eagles.

Given the potency of their offenses through those years, that makes no sense. But it’s also a reminder of something else: Tom Brady and the Patriots usually made the magic happen in the fourth quarter.

With a little bit of envy kicking in that Brady — who was supposed to be in the fourth quarter of his career a decade ago — has taken a new team to the Super Bowl, I thought it would be cathartic to rewatch the fourth quarters of all of Brady’s Super Bowl appearances, to relish what we remember, and remember what we forgot …

SUPER BOWL XXXVI: Patriots 20, Rams 17 Score at the start of the fourth quarter: Patriots 17, Rams 3

Random observation: Willie McGinest didn’t so much hold Marshall Faulk as he did maul him like a hungry bear catching up to his prey. His fourth-down penalty with 10:09 left negated Tebucky Jones’s 90-plus-yard touchdown return of a Kurt Warner fumble. (Tebucky sure could run fast in a straight line.) That TD would have given the Patriots a 23-3 lead, point-after pending. Instead, the Rams scored on the next play and it was game on. McGinest is a cornerstone of the dynasty, but he came awfully close to Schiraldian infamy there.

Stuff I forgot: Rookie left tackle Matt Light went down with an injury, and it was Grant Williams (no relation to the current Celtic) who was protecting Brady’s blind side … Drew Bledsoe inexplicably started warming up with 4½ minutes left … Brady was nearly sacked on the first play of the winning drive, before stepping up and completing the first of his three passes to unheralded hero J.R. Redmond.

Coolest moment: I mean … all of it? I suppose I could say Pat Summerall’s minimalist call of Adam Vinatieri’s upright-splitting 48-yard field goal, a moment both cathartic and unbelievable for longtime Patriots fans. But if we’re talking cool, it has to be Brady’s casual spike and catch of the football to stop the clock for Vinatieri’s winning attempt. Joe Namath was a hopeless dork-for-life compared with Brady’s cool in that moment.

SUPER BOWL XXXVIII: Patriots 32, Panthers 29 Score at the start of the fourth quarter: Patriots 14, Panthers 10.

Random observation: Though it was a weird game that didn’t have much rhythm or flow, it was shocking to look up with 6:53 left and see that the Panthers were all of a sudden leading, 22-21. They took the lead on an 85-yard pass from Jake Delhomme to Muhsin Muhammed, who ran past Ty Law in zone coverage and left late-arriving safety Eugene Wilson (who had an outstanding rookie year) collapsed and injured on the turf. The attrition in the secondary got worse when Rodney Harrison busted his forearm in the final minutes. If you remember that Shawn Mayer was one of the Patriots’ safeties in closing out that game, I’m going to suspect you’re his relative.

Stuff I forgot: Christian Fauria made a nifty catch (especially for a future sports radio host) that would have given the Patriots a 21-10 lead seven seconds into the fourth quarter, but the play was blown dead because of a Panthers penalty before the snap … David Givens overpowered Panthers defensive backs to make a couple of catches on the touchdown drive that put the Patriots up, 29-22, inside three minutes. If you didn’t like Givens, you weren’t paying attention … McGinest picked up an illegal-use-of-hands penalty midway through the quarter when he more or less folded Steve Smith in half while jamming him at the line. He hit him so hard Faulk probably felt it, wherever he was.

Coolest moment: Vinatieri’s second Super Bowl-winning field goal. He had a rough game to that point, with a miss and a block, and with just under six minutes, analyst Phil Simms said, “I don’t know that the Patriots are feeling very confident about that field goal situation.” Ah, we all knew Vinatieri would make the big one when the time came, Phil. He was just adding a little suspense.

SUPER BOWL XXXIX: Patriots 24, Eagles 21 Score at the start of the fourth quarter: Tied, 14-14.

Random observation: It’s wild that the Eagles had a chance to win in the final minutes. It should have been in the bag for the Patriots when Tedy Bruschi picked off Donovan McNabb with 7:20 left and the Patriots ahead, 24-14. But the Patriots couldn’t quite put it away, even when they got the ball back with 1:47 left, up 3. If punters could earn saves, Josh Miller would be credited with one after pinning the Eagles at their own 4 with 46 seconds left.

Stuff I forgot: Remember MVP Deion Branch’s catch that went through the hands of an Eagles defensive back? I hope you do. Remember the name of the defensive back whose hands willed themselves invisible at the worst possible time? Let’s put it this way: I bet Eagles fans add some descriptors to Sheldon Brown’s name … Legend has it that a rattled McNabb threw up on the field during one of the Eagles’ weirdly meandering final possessions. But his stress was obvious much sooner. With just under six minutes left, Terrell Owens was yelling at him on the sideline to relax … McNabb did find future brief Patriot Greg Lewis for a touchdown with 1:48 left, with backup safety Dexter Reid in coverage. Wilson had left with an injury for the second straight Super Bowl.

Coolest moment: It’s probably the Branch catch. But Harrison mocking the Eagles by flapping his arms like wings after his clinching interception is a fine runner-up.

SUPER BOWL XLII: Giants 17, Patriots 14 Score at the start of the fourth quarter: Patriots 7, Giants 3.

Random observation: Yeah, I’ll admit it. The impetus for this entire project was the opportunity to say this: Eli Manning was a disaster on that last drive, and the only way he belongs in the Pro Football Hall of Fame is if he’s going to check out Peyton’s bronze bust. He air-mailed Plaxico Burress twice early in the drive. He nearly fumbled, holding on to the ball with his legs, after Adalius Thomas (who played like an Andre Tippett clone) chased him down. Asante Samuel dropped a pick (it was a high throw and tough catch). Brandon Meriweather nearly had a pick after Thomas drilled Manning while he was throwing. The legendary pass to David Tyree was a desperation heave. Manning tried to give the game to the Patriots, and they just would not take it.

Stuff I forgot: Harrison had kind of a rough go of it beyond failing to rip the ball away from Tyree. Kevin Boss shook him off for a 45-yard catch early in the quarter that set up the Giants’ first touchdown … The image of Junior Seau hugging Bruschi after Brady found Moss for the go-ahead touchdown with 2:42 left only gets more haunting as the years pass … Ray Ventrone blew up kick returner Dominik Hixon prior to the Giants’ final possession, forcing them to start at their own 16.

Coolest moment: Is there one, when you’re rewatching the dream of 19-0 turn into 18-1? I suppose it would have to be that fleeting fraction of a second when it looked as if Brady and Moss might connect on a run-as-fast-as-you-can-and-I’ll-throw-it-as-far-as-I-can deep ball with 16 seconds left. Jason Webster got a fingertip — maybe just a fingerprint — to deflect the pass near the 21-yard line. Brady threw the ball 68 yards, and if it had carried another foot … well, you know.

SUPER BOWL XLVI: Giants 21, Patriots 17 Score at the start of the fourth quarter: Patriots 17, Giants 15

Random observation: I thought it then, and I know it now: The Patriots win this game if Rob Gronkowski is healthy, and they win it with ease. Playing on a heavily-taped sprained ankle, he had the mobility of an aging peg-legged pirate, and the Giants figured it out early. Gronk had one catch in the first three quarters, and he briefly stopped running on one of the key plays in the game, a Brady interception in the first minute of the fourth quarter. On a broken play after eluding the rush, Brady heaved it deep to Gronk, but he didn’t have the mobility to outposition generic linebacker Chase Blackburn, who came down with the interception. A healthy Gronk also might have hauled in the Hail Mary that Aaron Hernandez deflected his way on the final play, but he was a half-step late.

Stuff I forgot: Mario Manningham made a memorable catch along the sideline on the Giants’ winning drive. Earlier in the quarter, NBC analyst Cris Collinsworth criticized him, with an accompanying graphic, for his habit of running at an angle along the sidelines that would carry him out of bounds before he could get both feet down. That play was even more unlikely than we knew … Ahmad Bradshaw fumbled at the 14-minute mark at the Giants 13. James Ihedigbo should have made the recovery — it was right there — but Chris Snee ended up pouncing on it, keeping the Giants in possession. There are so many scattered what-ifs in the losses … It’s remembered as a drop, but Brady threw the ball behind Wes Welker on the infamous blunder with four minutes left. The more damaging drop might have been Branch’s at the Patriots 40 on the first play of the final possession, with 57 seconds left. If he catches it — and he was wide open — he has at least 20 yards on the play, with room to run.

Coolest moment: None. No cool moments. And it’s creepy seeing Hernandez. Do not recommend.

SUPER BOWL XLIX: Patriots 28, Seahawks 24 Score at the start of the fourth quarter: Seahawks 24, Patriots 14.

Random observation: Pete Carroll’s blank-eyed stare after the Malcolm Butler pick nourishes my soul. Less random observation? Rallying to win against this ferocious Seattle defense — and overcoming a 10-point fourth-quarter deficit, the biggest comeback in Super Bowl history — was the greatest feat of Brady’s career to that point.

Stuff I forgot: When you’re talking about third-down backs who have shown up in the biggest moments over the years, never forget to put Shane Vereen up there with James White, Redmond, and Kevin Faulk. Vereen made three of his 11 catches on the go-ahead drive, including a lovely one-handed grab with 6:45 left … Collinsworth started blathering about Deflategate with 2:52 left and the Patriots on the Seattle 5, trailing, 24-21. If there was any one moment to stick to the game, that was it … It’s amazing how prominent Butler had become even before the interception. He had blanket coverage on the ridiculous Jermaine Kearse catch, which felt like a here-we-go-again moment for Patriots fans. But he also got away with a trip earlier in the quarter, and had a spectacular breakup off a pass intended for Kearse just inside the two-minute mark.

Coolest moment: Given the timing and magnitude of the play, the effect that it had on win probability, how it saved the Patriots from what seemed to be another heartbreak, the degree of difficulty in catching it, and that it ushered in the second phase of the greatest dynasty in NFL history, Butler’s interception is to me the greatest single play in NFL history. But the coolest moment might have come a few seconds after the play, when Butler burst into tears while Patrick Chung hugged him, the joy and weight of his accomplishment hitting him all at once.

SUPER BOWL LI: Patriots 34, Falcons 28, OT Score at the start of the fourth quarter: Falcons 28, Patriots 9

Random observation: When we retell the tale of this football miracle, it’s tempting to say every single decision and play had to go the Patriots’ way in the fourth quarter. But the reality is, only most of the plays went their way, and the fourth quarter actually started with a bit of a letdown. The Patriots had to settle for a field goal with just under 10 minutes left, cutting it to 28-12, with Grady Jarrett sacking Brady twice on that drive. They were just warming up for their impossibly perfect finish.

Stuff I forgot: White should have been the MVP, and Brady ended all honest debates about who the greatest quarterback of all time is, but there were countless other heroes too, and rewatching this game offered a nice reminder of Malcolm Mitchell’s role. He had five catches in the fourth quarter and overtime, including a third-and-11 conversion on the drive that cut the score to 28-20. He was the David Givens of that Patriots team, and he’ll always be remembered well … It’s forgotten now, but the Patriots defense had a huge breakdown with 5:48 left, when Devonta Freeman was left uncovered and raced for a 39-yard catch-and-run … Of all of the huge plays, the biggest to me is Dont’a Hightower’s sack of Matt Ryan and forced fumble (recovered by Alan Branch) at the Falcons 25 with 8:28 left and the Patriots down 16.

Coolest moment: Julian Edelman’s catch — you know the one, with a little over two minutes left, when he somehow entered the Matrix, stopped time, or dabbled in some other sorcery and clutched the ball amid a sea of limbs just as it was about to hit the turf — is one of the most famous in NFL history. If Lynn Swann got to Canton based largely on Super Bowl highlights for a dynasty, Edelman deserves the same consideration someday.

SUPER BOWL LII: Eagles 41, Patriots 33 Score at the start of the fourth quarter: Eagles 29, Patriots 26

Random observation: I don’t know if we’ll ever know more than we do about why Butler was benched. But it was impossible to believe then, and it remains impossible to believe upon rewatch, that he would not have performed better than Eric Rowe, Johnson Bademosi, and Jordan Richards in pass coverage.

Stuff I forgot: Chris Hogan had just one catch in the fourth quarter, on the possession punctuated with Gronk’s touchdown, but it’s worth remembering that he was one of three Patriots pass catchers to have a monster game, catching six passes for 128 yards and a score. I tended to remember Gronkowski (9-116-2) and Danny Amendola (8-152-0) in a game in which Brandin Cooks got knocked out and Edelman (who missed the season with a knee injury) didn’t play, but not Hogan’s … Despite being close to unstoppable on offense, the Patriots never led until Gronk’s 4-yard touchdown reception put them up, 33-32, with 9:22 left … The biggest non-scoring play of the game? Nick Foles’s 2-yard completion to Zack Ertz on fourth-and-1 from the Eagles 45 with 5:39 left. Trey Flowers was a half-step from getting to Foles.

Coolest moment: I don’t know, the one play Butler was allowed to participate in on special teams? I mean, Foles figured them out. Nick Foles? This is a real low point. This one hurts.

SUPER BOWL LII: Patriots 13, Rams 3 Score at the start of the fourth quarter: Patriots 3, Rams 3

Random observation: I wonder if Jared Goff would still be a Ram today if not for two outcomes on back-to-back plays — a dropped touchdown pass by Cooks with 4:24 left, and an interception by Stephon Gilmore on a terrible, forced pass to Cooks on the next play. Bill Belichick and Brian Flores broke him that day.

Stuff I forgot: Jonathan Jones crushed Goff as he was running toward the sideline with 11:42 left. If you didn’t think of Bledsoe and Mo Lewis at that moment, you must be one of those newer Patriots fans … Here’s a subtle big play: Sony Michel’s 26-yard run, from his own 5 to the 31, with 3:38 left and the Patriots up, 10-3. Amazes me how so many forget how good he was running behind James Develin that postseason … Three plays later, Rex Burkhead also had a 26-yard run. How did they do this up the middle against a defense featuring Aaron Donald and Ndamukong Suh?

Coolest moment: Easy call. Brady’s 29-yard throw to a triple-covered Gronkowski midway through the quarter that set up the game’s only touchdown. That has to be one of the three or four prettiest throws of Brady’s career, and it was the perfect coda to their time as teammates — with the Patriots, at least …

[viraljournalist]

Tom Brady can't leave the Patriots after this loss

New Post has been published on https://viraljournalist.com/tom-brady-cant-leave-the-patriots-after-this-loss/

Tom Brady can't leave the Patriots after this loss

FOXBOROUGH, Mass. — Tom Brady would be foolish to leave the New England Patriots as a free agent, and Robert Kraft and Bill Belichick would be even more foolish to let him leave. Brady as a Los Angeles Charger? Brady as an Indianapolis Colt?

Yeah, I know. It’s no more absurd than Michael Jordan as a Washington Wizard.

But as much as Brady would love to do something Jordan did not — win a seventh championship ring — the modern-day athlete who might serve as a better comparison is another former Michigan man, Derek Jeter, who understood the power of being a one-uniform icon and who might enter the Baseball Hall of Fame later this month as its second unanimous inductee.

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Jeter was big in New York. Brady is bigger in New England. If the 42-year-old quarterback had a perfect end-of-career situation waiting for him, such as a chance to play for the hometown team of his childhood dreams, then maybe this would be a pretty tough call. The problem is that the would-be successor Brady conquered, Jimmy Garoppolo, has that job nailed down in San Francisco. It’s funny how life works out sometimes.

If nothing else, you should understand this after Tennessee made everyone remember the Titans on Saturday at a Gillette Stadium wrapped in a London fog: You have not seen the last of Thomas Edward Patrick Brady Jr. in shotgun formation. After he initially deflected a news conference question about his future following the Titans’ 20-13 AFC wild-card victory (“I just came off the field,” he said), Brady called the possibility of retirement “pretty unlikely.”

Given his restraint when it comes to saying anything of substance for public consumption, this was Brady clearly Gronk-spiking any chance that the pick-six he threw to former teammate Logan Ryan will go down as his 11,614th and final NFL pass.

Brady has said more than once that he might play beyond age 45. In September, his father said Brady was in the best shape of his life and capable of going another five or six seasons. Tom Sr. also talked to ESPN.com at the time about his son’s decision to put his Brookline, Massachusetts, estate up for sale (the price has reportedly been slashed to a bargain-basement steal, at $33.9 million).

Tom Brady completed 20 of 37 passes for 209 yards with no touchdowns and one interception on Saturday. Matt Campbell/EPA

“You don’t want the house sitting on the market two, three, four years if you get cut,” Tom Sr. said. “It’s a two-way street. The Patriots may feel they have the arsenal to continue on for many years after Tommy’s gone, and that makes Tommy disposable. You know as well as I do that Bill is not the least bit sentimental with his ballplayers. If Tommy regresses in Bill’s eyes, then he becomes expendable, and Tommy would have no choice but to go somewhere else.”

Although Brady played this season at around the same declining level at which he played in 2013, right before Belichick drafted Garoppolo to replace him, he just won his sixth Super Bowl title 15 minutes ago. He’s still good enough to win No. 7 with some improved playmakers on the outside and with the return of his left tackle, Isaiah Wynn, and his center, David Andrews. Brady played the entire season without his starting center — and without Rob Gronkowski as a bailout option — and managed to go 12-4, an improvement on last season’s 11-5.

Brady was still good enough to win the AFC East for the 17th time. Then he was asked after this gutting defeat if his 11th consecutive division title would be a factor to consider as he enters free agency for the first time. Brady was essentially asked why he would walk away from the AFC East when nobody has succeeded in taking it from him.

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“I just don’t know what’s going to happen,” he said, “and I’m not going to predict it. And no one needs to make choices at this point. I love playing football. I love playing football for this team. I’ve loved playing for this team for two decades and winning a lot of games. And again, I don’t know what it looks like moving forward, so we’ll just take it day by day.”

Right from the start Saturday, the fans tried to make Brady’s decision for him. “PLEASE STAY TOMMY” pleaded one large sign in the stands. When Brady took the field for New England’s first possession, the crowd welcomed him with a profound roar. Fans chanted throughout the game: “Bray-dee … Bray-dee.”

But it wasn’t meant to be for the man who had won 20 of his previous 23 playoff games at home and whose 30 postseason victories were four better than the combined total of the other 11 starting QBs in the tournament. Brady delivered a few vintage passes, including a third-down dart to Julian Edelman late in the third quarter that cut through four Tennessee defenders, but his offense couldn’t score a single point in the second half, marking only the third time that Brady’s Patriots went scoreless in a half in his 41 postseason starts. What’s more, New England’s league-leading defense couldn’t stop Derrick Henry, who was good for 182 yards and a touchdown on 34 carries.

Brady is 30-11 as a starter in the playoffs, with 73 touchdown passes and 35 interceptions. AP Photo/Elise Amendola

Down 14-13 with 4 minutes, 44 seconds left and the ball at his own 11, Brady heard the fans chant for him one more time. He answered by going four-and-out, but only after his cherished target for eternity, Edelman, dropped an easy ball that would have earned a first down and might have rewritten the story of the entire night.

In the end, pinned on his 1-yard line in the final seconds, Brady watched Ryan make good on the almost certain pick-six he dropped near the close of the first half, leaving the Patriots to star in a tragicomedy that was the kickoff return that finished their season.

“Thank you for being the best fans in the NFL,” the public-address announcer told the crowd as fans headed into the wet and miserable night. “Please arrive home safely.”

Looking stunned, Brady engaged in a series of handshakes and hugs with a Titans team that features a wide circle of players, coaches and executives who learned their trade under Belichick’s watch in Foxborough. Meanwhile, after he was finished with his midfield handshakes, Titans coach Mike Vrabel ran off the field like a kid running to see his new puppy.

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A three-time champion linebacker with the Patriots, Vrabel was the right guy to put his old team to bed. Asked about “the Patriot Way” during the week, he joked that Patriot Way is the name of the street the local movie theater is on. Yet Vrabel embodied Belichick’s system as much as any player who passed through it. He had 56 sacks, 11 interceptions and 10 receptions — all for touchdowns, including two in Super Bowls — during his New England career. He clubbed St. Louis Rams quarterback Kurt Warner in the head (no flag thrown) on the pick-six he threw to Ty Law in Belichick’s first Super Bowl victory, and he recovered the onside kick against the Giants to preserve the Pats’ 16-0 regular season in 2007.

A jokester who wasn’t afraid to speak his mind, Vrabel sometimes gave Belichick suggestions for what he should run on defense. “When you’re a coach and you’re calling the defenses,” Belichick told him then, “you should go ahead and do that.”

Vrabel did that Saturday night, and he sent his former teammate, Brady, reeling into the most important offseason of the rest of his life. Would Brady really follow offensive coordinator Josh McDaniels out the door? Would he really leave New England behind if Kraft and Belichick don’t finally pay him market value — or close to it?

“I love the Patriots,” Brady said. “I mean, this is the greatest organization, and playing for Mr. Kraft all these years and for Coach Belichick, there’s nobody that’s had a better career, I would say, than me, just being with them. So I’m very blessed, and I don’t know what the future looks like, and I’m not going to predict it.”

Brady completed 59.3% of his passes to wide receivers in the regular season, his lowest success rate since 2004. He went 7-of-20 (35%) when targeting wide receivers on Saturday, his worst mark in a playoff game. AP Photo/Charles Krupa

This should be an easy call for the quarterback and the people who employ him. The 1997-98 Chicago Bulls broke up after winning title No. 6, and their lead actors — Jordan, Scottie Pippen and Phil Jackson — all played and coached after their premature end in Chicago.

Even if he’s intrigued by the idea of winning without Belichick, Brady should not leave for the unworthy franchises that appear to be fits for him. He was born in California to be a one-uniform lifer in New England. It’s time for Mr. Brady to sign back up.

It’s time for No. 12 to get to work on ring No. 7.

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[mystlnewsonline]

New Post has been published on https://www.stl.news/brady-patriots-top-afc-playoff-field/61558/

Brady, Patriots again top the AFC playoff field

January 04, 2018 (AP)(STL.News) —In a year when two-thirds of the NFL playoff field is new, the AFC still features fixtures Tom Brady and Ben Roethlisberger , who have seven Super Bowl rings between them, and Alex Smith, who is coming off his best season of his 13-year career.

The trio of graybeard QBs led their teams to division titles again this year, and for the second straight season they won’t have to worry about Von Miller wrecking their Super Bowl hopes. The Broncos missed the playoff party again along with the Texans, Raiders and Dolphins, who were here last year.

The Bills are back for the first time in 17 seasons , the Jaguars for the first time in a decade and the Titans return for the first time since 2008.

The AFC gets wild-card weekend started Saturday with the Titans visiting the Chiefs, who haven’t won a playoff game at Arrowhead Stadium in 14 years. On Sunday, the Bills visit the Jaguars.

New England has its customary bye week — its seventh straight — and Pittsburgh earned its first bye since 2010.

Strength and weakness of each of the six AFC playoff teams:

1. NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS (13-3). Last Lombardi: Super Bowl 51, 34-28 OT over Atlanta on Feb. 5, 2017.

Hope: Tom Brady still plays like he’s 30, not 40. He’s a leading MVP candidate again with a league-leading 4,577 yards passing and 32 TDs. He got hit a lot more than he did last season (32 sacks in ’17 after just 15 in ’16). But it hasn’t stopped the Patriots from having the league’s second-ranked offense, averaging 28.6 points. A healthy TE Rob Gronkowski , who missed last year’s playoffs, has given the Patriots a huge lift with 69 catches for 1,084 yards. WR Brandin Cooks added 65 receptions for 1,082 yards.

Nope: Brady heads into the playoffs without his favorite target, WR Julian Edelman (knee), who got hurt in the preseason. Gronk, Cooks and RB Dion Lewis have picked up the slack. But there are still other injury concerns with WR Chris Hogan, RB James White and RB Mike Gillislee all ailing. The defense also is very banged up. LB Dont’a Hightower (shoulder) was lost for the season in October, and the list of nagging injuries has grown throughout the season. Using the bye week to heal up will be huge for New England’s prospects.

The Dope: “I think we’ve got some work to do. We are not where we want to be and that’s what practice is for. The great thing about it is we’ve got one more chance to be able to go out there and play our best.” — Cooks.

2. PITTSBURGH STEELERS (13-3). Last Lombardi: Super Bowl 43, 27-23 over Arizona on Feb. 1, 2009. Hope: The “Killer Bs” are in full flight for the AFC North champions. Roethlisberger, WR Antonio Brown, RB Le’Veon Bell and K Chris Boswell are all headed to the Pro Bowl — if the Steelers aren’t playing in the Super Bowl — and rookie WR JuJu Smith-Schuster has given Pittsburgh a youthful jolt.

The Steelers averaged 29.9 points a game during the second half of the season and appear plenty comfortable when things get tight. They went 9-2 in games decided by six points or less.

Nope: One of those losses was a 27-24 setback to New England on Dec. 17, a game the Steelers led at home throughout until Brady and Gronkowski got going in the fourth quarter. Roethlisberger threw an interception in the end zone on a fake spike when kicking a field goal and going into overtime made plenty of sense. That means a rematch with New England, if it happens, would be in Foxborough.

Pittsburgh has not proven it can cover Gronk effectively — he averages over 100 yards receiving against the Steelers in his career.

The Dope: “It’s time to lock in and take this as serious as we can because we know how hard it is to get here and the opponents we have to play. We have a lot of belief in each other.” — LT Alejandro Villaneuva.

3. JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS (10-6). No Super Bowl appearances.

Hope: Defense wins championships. The Jaguars have one of the best D’s in the league — they rank second in points allowed (16.8), interceptions (21), sacks (55) and yards (286) — and they gave up 10 or fewer points in half of their games. Defensive linemen Calais Campbell, Malik Jackson and Yannick Ngakoue, cornerbacks Jalen Ramsey and A.J. Bouye, and linebacker Telvin Smith are the cornerstones of a unit that gives Jacksonville a chance in every game.

Nope: QB Blake Bortles has five interceptions the last two weeks, raising concerns about his ability to carry the offense in the clutch. Bottom line is he needs more help around him. The NFL’s top rushing attack has stalled, slowed because of injuries to rookie Leonard Fournette and the offensive line, and Jacksonville’s young receivers have started dropping passes, messing up routes and looking far from ready for the playoff stage. The Jaguars are coming off nine consecutive losing seasons, so this is new to them.

The Dope: “I know he’s going to do everything he can to get back on that horse and lead us the right way and lead from the front. And everybody’s going to do their job around him and do a little bit more. It’s time to step it up, and that’s not just him, that’s everybody.” — TE Marcedes Lewis on Bortles.

4. KANSAS CITY (10-6). Last Lombardi: Super Bowl 4, 23-7 over Minnesota on Jan. 11, 1970.

Hope: Smith had the best season of his 13-year career , helped along by the best supporting cast he’s ever had. WR Tyreek Hill is a game-changer not only on offense but as a punt returner, RB Kareem Hunt led the league in rushing as a rookie, and TE Travis Kelce has arguably supplanted Gronkowski as the best in the game at his position. And should anything happen to Smith, rookie Patrick Mahomes II proved a capable starter and reliever in K.C.’s 27-24 win at Denver last week, when he returned to lead the team’s successful 2-minute drill to beat the Broncos.

Nope: The Chiefs haven’t won a playoff game at Arrowhead Stadium since January 2004, a year before Hunt was born. They have lost games in every manner, too — shut out by Baltimore in 2010, beaten by Pittsburgh despite holding the Steelers without a touchdown last year, even losing to the Colts in a game in which nobody punted. Perhaps they’re just cursed.

The Dope: “Everybody that is left still playing is good. Everybody is amped up and the season is on the line. It’s win or go home. I think all that just adds to the intensity a lot of times, and a lot to the stage, because the ramifications are so big and so real. But it’s still football at the end of the day.” — Smith.

5. TENNESSEE TITANS (9-7). No Lombardis: Lost Super Bowl 34 to St. Louis Rams in 2000.

Hope: QB Marcus Mariota has found his running mojo again . Mariota ran a career-best 10 times for a season-high 60 yards last week against Jacksonville in helping the Titans clinch their first playoff berth since the 2008 season, his best performance running the ball since breaking his right leg on Christmas Eve 2016. Mariota showed some serious swagger on the key third-and-5 run for 13 yards that featured a stiff arm on Jaguars safety Barry Church befitting the 2014 Heisman Trophy winner.

Nope: Mariota has been intercepted more this season (15) than in either of his previous two years in the NFL. He also hasn’t gotten much help with opponents double- and triple-teaming TE Delanie Walker and with his receivers dropping too many passes or running the wrong routes too often. An inability to stretch the field through the air makes it too easy for defenses to load the box and stop the run.

The Dope: “We’re not just a one-hit wonder. We’re going to continue to be successful and keep winning games, so everybody should get used to this.” — S Kevin Byard.

6. BUFFALO BILLS (9-7). No Lombardis. Lost Super Bowl 25 to New York Giants in 1991, Super Bowl 26 to Washington in 1992, Super Bowl 27 to Dallas in 1993 and Super Bowl 28 to Dallas in 1994.

Hope: It took 17 years for the Bills to get back to the playoffs after losing to the Titans on the “Music City Miracle” on Jan. 8, 2000. The Bills have exceeded expectations during a season in which they overhauled their roster under the first-year tandem of HC Sean McDermott and GM Brandon Beane. T

hey’re a resilient bunch, overcoming a QB shuffle in which McDermott benched Tyrod Taylor over his pedestrian passing numbers but went right back to him after rookie Nathan Peterman threw five first-half interceptions in a 30-point loss to the Chargers in November.

Nope: Muting their excitement over ending their playoff drought is the uncertain status of RB LeSean McCoy (ankle), who leads the team in yards rushing, receptions and TDs. The Bills are seeking to end another embarrassing drought: they haven’t won a playoff game since 1995. They don’t have a lot of grizzled veterans to lean on, either, after losing CB Stephon Gilmore in free agency and trading WR Sammy Watkins (to the Rams) and CB Ronald Darby (to the Eagles) in August. Then, they traded their highest-paid player, DT Marcell Dareus, to Jacksonville in October.

The Dope: “I’m the forever optimist, and I know that. But when everyone was talking about us tanking, I was looking around and saying, ‘Man, we better get rid of a whole lot more guys because this team is going to win some ballgames.’ We were able to get hot early, sustain a bad run and make the playoffs at the end.” — C Eric Wood.

By ARNIE STAPLETON by Associated Press, published on STL.NEWS by St. Louis Media, LLC (US)

[buddyrabrahams]

15 biggest disappointments of NFL Week 15

We’re running out of weeks in the NFL season, and it’s put up or shut up time for many teams and players. Jobs are on the line now on lesser teams, while playoff spots are the obvious reward for those who still have things to play for. The big wins and heartbreaking losses only get more pronounced from here.

Here’s a glance at 15 big disappointments from Week 15 of the NFL season.

Pittsburgh Steelers’ late-game execution

At minimum, the Steelers looked like they had pretty much wrapped up a shot at a game-tying field goal against the Patriots. Even after Jesse James’s go-ahead touchdown was overturned on replay — controversial in itself — the Steelers had second and goal from the ten. A three-yard catch and a lack of timeouts saw the Steelers forced to run hurry-up, and they seemed to be in two minds as to whether they should spike it and take the field goal or try to force the issue. Ben Roethlisberger went with the latter and threw a backbreaking interception. The call will get all the attention, but Roethlisberger made a terrible decision to throw, and didn’t seem fully committed to the decision anyway, which he blamed on his coaches. Costly mistakes like that can’t happen.

Seattle Seahawks

There was nothing good to say about this Seattle performance in any way. The offense totaled just 149 yards. Russell Wilson was sacked seven times. The team was penalized nine times for 60 yards. They lost two fumbles. Then on defense, they gave up 352 yards and 19 first downs. Even special teams was found wanting, as the Seahawks allowed several lengthy punt returns and 128 yards total on punt returns. This should all but end Seattle’s playoff hopes, and it’s the worst performance this team has put together in a long while.

Geronimo Allison, WR, Packers

Despite everything that went wrong for the Green Bay Packers on Sunday, they still went down to the wire with a chance to win the game. In fact, it seemed as though they’d already accomplished the hardest part of their comeback effort by recovering an onside kick down 31-24 with under three minutes left. They were already into Carolina territory when wide receiver Geronimo Allison caught a pass, turned to run, and fumbled. Carolina recovered to effectively end the game. There was a long way to go even if Allison held onto the football, but the loss more or less ended Green Bay’s playoff hopes. Had he held on, Green Bay would have been in good position to tie the game.

Jay Cutler, QB, Dolphins

Buffalo’s defense can present a challenge, but Cutler was really disappointing on Sunday for a Miami team that could have made it to .500 with a win. Cutler didn’t throw for a single touchdown and was held to 274 yards on 28 completions — not a particularly good margin. On top of that, the veteran quarterback was picked off three times in the 24-16 loss. The fact that this game was still within reach despite his struggles will probably only make this one tougher to swallow.

Sean Davis, S, Steelers

Davis was put on the Rob Gronkowski beat on Sunday, and he was very much not up to the tough task. Gronk had nine catches and went off for 168 yards — all but ten of which came with Davis on him, according to Pro Football Focus. He was downright abused on New England’s late two-point conversion that put them up a field goal, a play that ended up looming large once Pittsburgh made it into the red zone with under a minute left. Davis couldn’t stop Gronkowski, and his poor performance was a big reason the Patriots were able to come back.

Devin Funchess, WR, Panthers

Funchess has been a favorite target of Cam Newton’s over the last several weeks, but his individual production dried up on Sunday. The receiver only had one catch for 19 yards — a particularly underwhelming total considering Newton threw for four touchdowns. It was the first time since the end of October that Funchess was held to fewer than 50 yards receiving, and the first time since Nov. 26 he failed to find the end zone.

Blaine Gabbert, QB, Cardinals

Disappointment is a relative term. It implies that there were expectations in the first place. It is fair to say that expectations weren’t particularly high for Gabbert on Sunday, but one would have expected him to be competent-to-mediocre. Instead, he went 16-for-41, threw an interception, and fumbled three times, losing two of them and running into an offensive lineman on the other. He was historically awful, even in lieu of expectation.

DeShone Kizer, QB, Browns

Kizer has a lot to play for down the stretch. New GM John Dorsey will be carefully evaluating the rookie, as the Browns are on their way to a No. 1 pick in a quarterback-rich draft. If Kizer is going to convince Dorsey and the Browns that he can be the future of the franchise, he’s going to have to play significantly better than this. Yes, the Ravens have a quality defense, but Kizer’s 146 yards, two interceptions, and fumble lost simply aren’t good enough and represent one of his worst efforts of the entire season.

Tennessee Titans’ offense

It’s sometimes hard to figure out exactly how the Titans are a playoff contender. Marcus Mariota’s play wasn’t as bad as it has been in recent weeks, but against the lowly 49ers, they were comprehensively outgained and outplayed by Jimmy Garoppolo and San Francisco. The Titans had 328 yards overall, with 90 of them coming on the ground in a very deliberate gameplan. This should have been a win. It’s hard to see what they’re trying to accomplish.

Aaron Rodgers, QB, Packers

The Packers — or perhaps the NFL scheduler — did Rodgers few favors here. The quarterback’s return came against a Carolina defense that boasts one of the best fronts in the game. He was pressured frequently, but in his first game back after breaking his collarbone, it was his timing that was most alarmingly off. He threw three interceptions, including a couple of badly underthrown balls, and looked extremely rusty. You have to wonder if we’ll see him again this season given that the defeat to the Panthers all but eliminates Green Bay from playoff contention.

Brandon Coleman, WR, Saints

The New Orleans Saints probably should have beaten the New York Jets by a much wider margin than 31-19 on Sunday, but Brandon Coleman’s mistakes made things a lot closer than they should have been. Coleman lost two fumbles in the red zone, costing the Saints potentially as much as 14 points. Those were his first two career fumbles.

“That’s not in my DNA to fumble the ball,” Coleman said after the game, via Nola.com. “I’m not going to hold my head down. I know it’s not a part of my game, so just keep doing what I’m doing.”

Coleman was credited with three catches for 20 yards and two lost fumbles.

Jordy Nelson, WR, Packers

You’d have been forgiven for thinking Nelson would be the major beneficiary of Aaron Rodgers’ return. The biggest problem for Nelson was that Rodgers wasn’t sharp. The receiver was targeted six times but came away with only three of them for a modest 28 yards. Everything seemed to align for Nelson to have a big day — Davante Adams’s injury should have led to more looks, but it didn’t. Perhaps things will get better for him next week.

Derek Carr, QB, Raiders

What was Derek Carr thinking? The Raiders quarterback made a terrible decision to try and dive for the end zone on a 3rd-and-3 play from the Dallas 8 with under 40 seconds remaining in Oakland’s Sunday night game. Not only was he well short when he tried to dive, but he lost control of the football, which was knocked out of bounds, giving possession and hence the game to Dallas. Earlier in the drive he missed a wide open throw and nearly was intercepted twice. In what has been a continued trend throughout the season, Carr was just not very sharp — or smart — in the game.

A.J. Green, WR, Bengals

The Bengals were overwhelmed by the Minnesota Vikings on Sunday, and Green in particular was wiped out by the team’s elite pass defense. He had Xavier Rhodes and/or a double team on him all day, and it showed in the results — just two catches for 30 yards, his worst tally in both categories in about a month and a half. Green has an excuse, and his team was never really in this game in the first place, but that won’t make Green any less disappointed.

Philip Rivers, QB, Chargers

With a chance to firmly establish their AFC playoff credentials, the Chargers laid an egg in Kansas City on Saturday night, with Rivers prominent in the failure. He threw his first interception since Nov. 12 — and then threw two more for a total of three, forcing a whole lot of bad throws. If the Chargers do miss out on the playoffs, they’ll look back on this game as a missed opportunity, especially with Rivers’ underwhelming performance.

from Larry Brown Sports http://ift.tt/2kEbY2C

[ravelrie]

(i left my heart) in san francisco

this is a follow up to something i wrote earlier this year, which you can find here. this is a post about love, and other life moments.

burning man is like a fevered dreamscape in every possible way, because if you wake up, the nightmare is not being there, the terror ensues of processing everything you felt and learned and how you changed in the coming days, weeks and months. when i returned to new york after my virgin year, i had to remind myself not to think about this man i met, that just turned my entire universe upside down, and now i had to figure out what to do with all the pieces that had fallen out of my throat and my heart. 

i stopped dating someone in nyc that week, via text, and rescheduled four times with someone who’d been trying to date me and i just couldn’t get my head around going on a date. my mother’s health was deteriorating, and i was a basket case; but, i was going to be in san francisco in a week, so i should at least try and grab a drink with A so i could talk out everything i was feeling because he would understand when no one else would. we’d exchanged texts every day since we’d left our dusty home, simple things, shared a few sets that had surfaced with each other. nothing significant. 

i remember sitting in my office, and sending him the text. it was as if reaching out to him was a natural reflex, just like flexing your knee when someone taps it. 

“today is a really mean reds kind of post burning man blues day” i said, and he responded in moments that he was feeling similarly, and didn’t i mention something when we were saying goodbye that i’d be in town soon? we should meet up.

i shared the details of my trip out there. we made plans. concrete plans. we could probably flake and not keep them, but now we were in this. it was the first step to acknowledge that we were doing this -- whatever “this” was, or could be, and probably shouldn’t be -- and we couldn’t take it back if it ended badly. 

seeing each other could destroy everything we had built for ourselves in the default world; we’d likely end up going with the flow of our feelings, everyone, and everything else be damned. even on the plane, i thought, i should cancel, but i was too excited, too selfish, too in need to talk to him and take him in, to let that thought seep in and turn into action. 

san francisco. i was standing in my hotel’s lobby, texting landmarks to A, and he walked right by me. i shouted his name across the lobby, and he quickly walked over, and scooped me into his arms, which swallowed me with a giant hug. he stepped back, took me in, and gathered his words. he’d never seen me wear makeup, or even any semblance of default world clothing before this moment. i was wearing a skinny high waisted jeans, a black silk top, heels, and a leather jacket. i’d forgotten to pack flats other than my gym sneakers, which i’d flown in. i also had glasses on because my eyes had been irritated by my contact lenses in flight. he’d never seen me wear glasses, other than goggles, and maybe for an hour one morning at burning man after he’d woken me up on the couch at my camp. 

A “wow...you.. you look great! how are you? it’s so good to see you!”

me giggle “thanks, i clean up nicely, you know, when not covered in dust”

he laced his fingers in mine and we navigated to a place close by he’d chosen, and settled in for dinner and some drinks. we got lost a few times; both of us are terrible with directions. we mostly stared at each other, giggling that we were actually spending time together in a place that wasn’t black rock city. brief flashes of ‘should we even be doing this?’ crept into my thoughts every so often, but they were squashed even faster because the feeling that we were magnets rotating around each other was still there, even though we weren’t dancing on art cars, or in this phantasmagorical reality. 

we spent the night together. 

i woke up in my hotel room with him there, and as i fumbled to get ready to head to work, i looked back at him sleeping and felt an eerie calm wash over me. 

this, this is who i should wake up with. 

i hurriedly put my heels on, and woke him up -- he too was working east coast hours and had to get going to make it to the office on time. i kissed him goodbye and went about my day, flying home early the following morning, my hotel bed feeling empty without him there that night. i was back a few weeks later, and the pattern repeated itself. it was like this for a few months. 

back in new york, i had finally gone on a date with the guy i’d been dodging. it was the best first date i’d been on. i’d talked to A about it. 

A: you should go, he obviously likes you if he’s waited long enough to go out with you after you’ve cancelled four times on him.

me: but what if it’s terrible. wouldn’t it just be easier to leave it as a nice memory of a cute meeting randomly once at a party and finding each other on tinder and having it be a funny story? 

A: just go. you’ll be fine. it’ll be nice to go out to something not work related.

i got a run in my stockings and stopped in a duane reade on my way to soho house to meet this guy, text him i’d be a few minutes late, pantyhose emergency, because it was mid-october and cold in manhattan and i hadn’t done laundry and only had a dress to wear out. he said not to worry and to let him know when i was close, that he’d come down and get me. we sat and talked and drank slowly until 1am. on a weeknight. i went back to my apartment. he went back to his. we’d kissed a bunch, but nothing more. i was trying to take things slowly. i also didn’t want anything serious because i had something that was seriously complicated in the background and i didn’t want to add to that. he didn’t know this. he figured it out months later, but i’ll get to that. 

he asked me about burning man at dinner. 

guy so, you went to burning man. how was that? i grew up around reno, but have never been. 

me it changed my life. it was incredible. i’m not over it. i’ll never be over it. 

guy isn’t there a lot of sex stuff there? did you do any of that?

me it’s there to be experienced if you want to. i didn’t do any of the sex activities. your burn takes you on a journey of your own. anything you have planned, just kind of goes by the wayside. you let the playa guide you. 

guy did you sleep with anyone while you were there?

me yeah, actually, but only one person. it just sort of happened. very spur of the moment decision on both of our parts to let it happen the way it did, and that was it. no other crazy tale associated with it. 

guy did you just, like, do it in the desert?

me no, it was after getting back to his camp after chasing some art cars and we fell into the beds to sleep for a bit before the parties started again and it just, i don’t know, it just happened. 

guy cool. do you guys still talk?

me i don’t think that’s an important part of this story. why have you always wanted to go to burning man? what’s prevented you from ever going?

i told A this part. we laughed about it. this would also be a recurring conversation the following seven months of our on/off relationship. i skirted the “official” relationship conversation with him until i returned from san francisco in the following month. 

november. A and i had told everyone we weren’t hanging out this time, that our schedules were too busy to see each other. 

i remember standing in my bedroom doorway, suitcase in the living room, my roommate and close friend sitting on our couch, both of us having a glass of wine, talking fervently about how if i was in a conventional relationship, then i couldn’t have A anymore. i knew i’d always have him as my friend, and he was quickly becoming one of my best friends, but i couldn’t have him in the way that we had each other which was this shrouded secret relationship developing in the background of our default lives. i put my wine down to pack a suit and heels into my case, and after laying in the suit, grabbed the heels and gronk-spiked them into my suitcase with a frustrated gruff, and drank some wine. i knew where this was all going, and i had to choose. 

i got to san francisco, worked away in my room, got ready for dinner, and A came up to meet me in my room; i’d forgotten to pack a toothbrush and was so busy i didn’t have time to get water or redbull either (early morning jet lagged day after essentials). he said he’d pick them up and bring them to me. i tried to venmo him and he refused. i thanked him profusely and then we went on our way to start our night. we let our fingers brush each other, but we both knew this visit was different. we didn’t hold hands. we laughed, and i showed him the lion ring my new york guy had purchased me as a gift, and A put it on and imitated a lion. i laughed with my entire body and snapped a photo. 

we were in a speak easy and chatting about goats of all things. we went to another bar, and ordered jalapeno skillet mac and cheese and listened to live jazz and had another drink each, and then walked back to my hotel. we got back to my room and flopped down on my bed. our bodies fit together like puzzle pieces. he was pulling me as close as possible to him and our noses were touching but we weren’t kissing, just staring at each other, memorizing the curves of the face in front of us, the way we felt against each other. 

me you should go. we shouldn’t do this. 

A i don’t want to go. 

me yeah, but you should. you should go home. she’ll know you were here if you shower and get home at a weird hour. 

A really? do you think so? yeah, you’re probably right. but i don’t want to leave you. 

me i don’t want you to leave at all, but you should go. we’re being terrible people. 

A we aren’t terrible people. 

me we are kind of terrible people. we’re hurting people who care about us, and lying about it by omission. this time though, this time it’s actually a full on lie. there’s no cover story for either of us. 

A ::huffs:: fine. you’re right. i’ll go. 

we kissed quickly, but it felt like it went on forever. he kissed deeply. he always did. he still does. we both knew this would be the last one for a long, long time, and maybe even the last one ever. 

i shepherded him out of my room, closed the door, and felt like i was going to fall over and couldn’t breathe. i drank some water, readied myself for bed, and went on with my day, my flight home, flustered and distracted, and confused. 

i had strong feelings for two men. i had to make a choice. i had made a choice. i gave up on the one thing i really wanted because there was something good starting at home. something convenient, something that could be real, and out in the open, and maybe, just maybe, in time, this guy would know me and get me the same way A did. there was a lingering hope, for this future of convenience, and i had decided to grasp for it until i could hold it and see what happened from there. it was very much a situation that evokes this song. 

i got on my plane feeling like the wind had been knocked out of me. like a part of me was gone. but i thought it was fine. it was totally fine. it was okay to be sad this phase of our relationship was over...things that start at burning man usually never last anyway. we were better as friends. i never really had him anyway at least was the conclusion i reached. 

we still talked or interacted in some way every day. that never stopped. he broke up with his partner. he moved in to a new place. we’d facetime each other every now and then when one of us was out partying or had just come home or if we were in a different city away from our partners. we talked every day, really talked. the new year rolled around and my mom was getting sicker, and it hit me that she wouldn’t live through the end of the year and i was terrified. i tried to talk to my new york partner about it, but it was too much for him. i would talk to A about it at length and he’d always listen, always have something positive to say. 

around valentine’s day, A woke up realizing he’d ordered an 8ft unicorn pool float. text me a photo of the amazon shipment notification with “so, this happened last night. guess i missed you.” with a laughing face emoji. i had been baking and nyc boyfriend was with me. i asked him to get my phone from my bedroom for me so that i could be sure i was measuring the flour correctly, and he saw the text previews on my lock screen.

guy wait, did you sleep with A at burning man?

me i fail to see how this is relevant to our relationship. 

guy i’ve been asking you about it since our first date, and you guys are obviously super close, and i’ve known that, but just answer the question. did you guys sleep together at burning man?

me yes. why does this matter though? i’m with you. i choose you. if i wanted to be with him, i would be with him. 

guy ::huffs, puffs, takes a deep breathe and hands me my phone:: fine. okay. i believe you. he clearly has feelings for you though. 

me so what if he does? if he does, i’m sure there would have been a conversation about it. he’s one of my best friends. we’re burners. we’re affectionate with each other. you’ll understand if and when you ever go. 

i read the text, laughed, and responded that i have the same float, and shared a photo of me on said float, in a pool in southhampton. he sent a text back saying something to the effect that the universe works in mysterious ways, and of course we had the same floaty now. 

march. i was in boston for my brother’s 30th birthday with work, and nyc guy and i had broken up for the first of a few times to come. i was having a rough day with work, and that these were the last few months i’d likely have with my mother. i fell asleep in a stupor and when i woke up the next day, saw a few missed calls from A, along with a string of texts to make me feel better, and reminding me that if i ever needed to talk, he was there. he wasn’t going anywhere. 

i’d cried myself to sleep that night, and was pissed i’d missed his call. i got back to nyc, and the guy and i talked, we got back together. I never told A we got back together, just that we kept hanging out. he asked me if i was happy, and i said “as happy as i can be given the circumstances” or something vague. 

my mom died in may. A offered to get on a plane if i needed him there. NYC Guy failed to pick up his phone multiple times. A was my first call. 

the day i buried my mom, i woke up knowing that i was done with nyc guy. i think he knew too. we were in an ambiguous place of thinking we were in love, and not sure how to handle being together. i realized the kind of love i wanted, that i deserved, that i needed, i had, and it was right in front of me, and i’d been shooing it away the entire time. 

i was meant to be with A, and i hoped he felt that way too, i was fairly sure he did. but, i thought a lot of things were solid things and they turned out to be the opposite. i slept with my ex the night of my mom’s funeral, and the following day was mother’s day, and NYC guy and I broke up via text. i was supposed to be in san francisco a few weeks later with work, but my bosses and i made the mutual decision to restaff teh assignment, and i’d be out there in june for an event instead. A was bummed, but assured me i made the right choice and to take all the time i needed. 

june. when i went out there the following month, i was there for thirty hours. we hadn’t seen each other in person for months. even though time in the default world had passed quickly, the fact that i hadn’t touched him, or smelled him, or kissed him in so long seemed and felt like an eternity. 

i surfaced from cocktail hour of a work function, where i didn’t need to stay for the dinner portion. i looked at my phone to see a text from A telling me he was getting off of BART and walking toward where i was. he’d see me in five minutes. 

i ran outside, and i saw him across the street. i casually waved at him. he reciprocated, and then he ran diagonally across the street, the DO NOT CROSS walking signal be damned. 

as he ran to me, i skipped over to him, and he wrapped me in his arms, picked me up, spun me around, and jumped up and down with me, still not putting me down, and couldn’t stop saying “you’re here!!!!!” and then he put me down, nuzzled me breathing in the smell of my hair, kissed my neck, and then my lips, as if this was the most natural reaction in the world. 

this was a homecoming, not simply just a reunion. 

we held hands, and then he put his arm around me as we walked down the street. my shoulder fit perfectly under his, my arm around his waist, and head on his shoulder, and we walked to dinner. we were early. they sat us in an alcove. we sat next to each other, never breaking contact. we ate, and had a few drinks, and filled each other in on all of the stuff that had happened between visits, that we couldn’t text and needed to be told in person. we kissed again. he locked eyes with me and everything changed in that moment. 

A so... we’re both single right now. 

me ha! yeah, you’re right. i guess we are. weird, huh?

A kind of weird, but it feels right. should we do this? there’s nothing stopping us. 

me what do you mean ‘do this’? i mean, i’m fairly sure you’re coming back with me tonight, but i don’t want to assume anything, that’s generally just what happens, because it’s us. 

A oh, i’m definitely coming back with you. i meant more that we can actually do this. we can see what this really is. i like you. there isn’t anyone else that i’ve met that is like you. that makes me feel the way you make me feel. 

me same, actually. kind of insane, isn’t it? like, it’s been almost a year and here we are. 

A i think we should try this out. you’re amazing and i never stop thinking about you. i know you’re going through a lot right now, but i’ll wait for you, when you’re ready. 

me you’re pretty and i like you. 

and just like that, we were in this--whatever this was. i woke up tangled in his arms in the middle of the night, and felt that i was falling in love with him. 

looking back i realize that in this moment, i was already in the midst of the rabbit hole that was falling in love. i’d been suspended there for months, trying to climb out of it, but i couldn’t. 

in that moment, with his head against my chest, i knew he was it. i felt him stir and pull me closer and his head tilt up and kiss my neck. i kissed his forehead and adjusted my arms around him to hold him tighter. i whispered, barely audible to myself, A, i’m falling in love with you. he didn’t hear me. he was fast asleep. 

when i woke up for the day, and looked at him surrounded by fluffy pillows and tucked in under the duvet, he looked angelic; a perfect human perched in the clouds. i zipped my bag and kissed him goodbye. after the event i was attending was over, i realized i still had time to see him again before i left. i went over to the house, and we snuggled in his bed, and ate and had a drink before he drove me to BART so i could get to SFO for my flight. 

when he dropped me off, he put my backpack on me, and my neck pillow around my neck, pulled me to him my by arm straps and begged me not to leave. i begrudgingly left anyway. 

i called my dad from the gate and we reviewed fourth of july plans; he said i should take a vacation of sorts since i had the time off with work, a bunch of miles and flight credits, and i should do something. 

he could hear i was sad to be leaving san francisco, and suggested i go back to be with my friends and relax for a weekend outside of new york. it would be good for me. i text A to see if he was free. he was. 

i got off the phone with my dad when i sat down and settled in and i booked a flight back while sitting in my seat on the red eye back to nyc. when i realized i was really leaving, and the flight doors were closing, i couldn’t figure out why my cheeks were wet. i was crying. for the first time in a month, i wasn’t crying over my mom’s death. i was crying instead because i was leaving the other piece of my heart in a city nearly 3000 miles away from my own. 

july. A picked me up with a bottle of champagne at SFO, kissed me when he saw me, and said, “welcome home!” and he was right. i was home. i was with him. 

we had the perfect long weekend together. we talked about everything we wanted for the future. we went out dancing with our friends. when we got back that night, i was laying in bed waiting for him to get back from brushing his teeth (i’d already finished my night time routine), and i felt my mom come to me. 

they always say this will happen, but it hadn’t happened to me yet. i felt her hug me and i heard her voice as if she were next to me. she said that A was the kind of man i should be with, the kind of man she’d hoped i’d be with, and that he was a gift, and not to fuck it up. i tried my best not to start crying before he came back to bed, and i was successful. he crawled in next to me and i fell asleep on his chest. 

we went hiking later in the weekend, and were sitting on a rock looking over downtown palo alto and the bay, and he had his arm around me. this, i thought, is how my life should be. he is perfect. he is who i should be with. he was thinking something too, but i didn’t know what it was, and i could tell he wanted to say something, but didn’t want to say anything that might make me spook. we finally were together. both mythical creatures to our friends, here we were, existing in real time, in the default world, completely void of road blocks. it was us. we were us. this was it. 

when i left, he kissed me one last time and told me he couldn’t believe he was letting me leave. i told him i’d see him on the playa. 

august. i got to burning man, i got settled-ish, at my camp, found my bike, and went to A’s camp immediately. i rode up, and got off my tricycle before it totally stopped and hopped over to him. our friends were a chorus of “ohhh!! look who it is” “heyyyyyyyy” and “you made it!!” and we were just in our own bubble. we kissed and held hands and i said my hellos to everyone. we needed to talk about things, and so we went into his rv (well, party bus converted to rv minus bathrooms). we kissed a lot. we cuddled a lot, and while laying on the couch, i said “hey, a, i’m falling in love with you”. it took everything to get the words out. “i’m falling in love with you, too,” he said. 

the next day, as i was leaving his camp, to head back to mine for camp dinner, we kissed goodbye, and i cheekily said “i like you!” and that’s when he said it. it came out as naturally as an exhale -- “i love you”. i let go of his hands for a moment, stumbled a few steps to my bike in my moon booths, and then ran back to him, threw my arms around his neck, and whispered in his ear, “i love you, too, A” and that was it. 

standing in almost the same spot he’d woken me up the year before, we were admitting everything that had been held in for 363 days. 

on the actual anniversary of our meeting, i had chinese food delivered to his camp for us. we separated from our friends that night and went on an epic adventure around the playa, climbing art, finding sanctuary in a temple, and capping off the morning watching the phoenix burn. we were on foot the entire time. our bikes were slightly broken from a dust storm the day before. he’d packed a bottle of champagne in the camelbak we brought out with us “for later, because we’ve ended up super far away from home before, so, we should have this for our walk”. he was referring to the walk we took and had our first talk about what we were doing with each other, and what was back in the default world when we went in search of our bikes the year before. 

we popped a bottle of champagne and danced with the art cars  as the sun rose higher into the sky. we were cuddling each other while standing and he was holding the champagne and we were suddenly surrounded by pink fluffy unicorns who were all  hugging us. only at burning man. we laughed, and began to head home. 

we traded the champagne back and forth, holding hands, and strolling back to camp. “happy anniversary,” i said. he said it back and we stopped to kiss. he kissed me deeply every time, but this morning if felt like he kissed my soul in a way i hadn’t felt him kiss me before. “i love you” he said. i love him too. 

september. there was so much that happened in the year that passed between that morning and when we met. yet, there we were, just as full of passion and wonder as the first time we kissed. even now, every time i see him, there will be every day banal moments, like grocery shopping, or eating burritos, and i catch myself staring at him, wondering how i got to be so lucky -- how we somehow found each other in the chaos and the crowds. how in all of the dancing and celebration, i found my home. i found my soul mate, my other half, the person that makes me better in every way, because he makes me want to be a better person. he makes me a more positive person, a more caring person. i never thought i would ever be this in love. that it would ever feel this way. i never really believed the stories people would tell me about when it happens “you’ll know”. i knew something was different about he and i when we met, but i didn’t ever think it would end up this way. 

he’s who i can do everything with, and nothing with, and have fun at every turn. but, then again, i guess you know that when you meet and spend 120 waking hours together without any connection to the default world and can only talk to each other. he’s like coming up for fresh air. he’s the sunrise of every new day, brightening any shades of darkness that creep into my days. i am grateful for him, even when he frustrates me, and i get flustered. i appreciate him, even when i feel like i could hate him and i’m grumpy. 

when people asked me what changed, i tell them. he sent me a calendar invite for that dinner in june, and that was it. that was the signal. we could do that now. we were in the open, we were acknowledging that this was something, and that it was real, and we were ready. thanks, burning man, for helping us find love in and out of all the dust )’(

[flauntpage]

Your Thursday Morning Roundup

The Seattle Seahawks’ Michael Bennett took the world by storm on Wednesday with a shocking tweet where he tells the story of how he was held at gun point by police in Las Vegas:

Equality. http://pic.twitter.com/NQ4pJt94AZ

— Michael Bennett (@mosesbread72) September 6, 2017

Unfortunately, in today’s society, these stories are all too common. However, when it happens to a well-known athlete, with a big following, it quickly becomes a trendier news item to the media outlets and as such gets the attention it deserves. The debate of police brutality, racial profiling, etc., can go on forever, but it just seems we’ve surpassed a tipping point with these sorts of stories being just outliers, especially when you see tidbits like this surface after this story broke Wednesday morning:

LVMPD says the officer who detained Michael Bennett did not activate his body camera the day of the incident

— Jessamyn McIntyre (@JessamynMcIntyr) September 6, 2017

I wonder why.

With Colin Kaepernick still unemployed (that is a whole other discussion) and National Anthem protests sprouting around several NFL sidelines in the preseason, including the Eagles’, this topic comes to the forefront once again. The Eagles’ Malcom Jenkins has always been outspoken and has gone to Capitol Hill to voice his concerns and work towards a better future. He teamed up with Anquan Boldin and released this video on Wednesday:

In our own words. This is not about protest. This is about reform. #PlayersCoalition http://pic.twitter.com/c8jLkqPD7T

— Malcolm Jenkins (@MalcolmJenkins) September 6, 2017

Many debate whether these protests belong in the NFL, if the league and/or teams should allow it, or if it should be an even stronger movement. I think it is safe to say that they aren’t stopping anytime soon. And with this Michael Bennett story, they may even grow in volume.

The roundup:

Sixers hoops are right around the corner and Richaun Holmes needs to be a big part of the team, says Kevin Love (Our Kevin Love).

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ESPN’s Ryen Rusillo returned to the airwaves on Tuesday after serving a two-week suspension for getting arrested while on vacation in Wyoming. He addressed the situation right from the start.

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The Tampa Bay Bucs GM ripped Skip Bayless and it is GREAT:

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A train ran into a car in Jim Thorpe.

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NYC’s mayor said publicly that he wants to smoke weed.

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Angelo Cataldi continues the trend of well-known sports talk radio personalities declaring that the Eagles CANNOT lose Sunday’s game vs. the Redskins. LOVE sports talk radio…:

Not a must win Sunday for the Eagles? I beg to differ. If the Birds lose to the putrid Skins, it's crisis time. The Eagles MUST win Sunday.

— Angelo Cataldi (@AngeloCataldi) September 7, 2017

Meanwhile, Howard Eskin won’t let it go:

He has come out of his cave of hiding. Although only a 4 word retweet @samhinkie has broken his twitter silence. @SportsRadioWIP https://t.co/ZVBeYklbvj

— Howard Eskin (@howardeskin) September 6, 2017

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A Amazon Headquarters in Philly? We would be a good fit.

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This Madden 18 glitch with the Gronk Spike is hilarious, especially since it is against the Browns:

Gronk bodying the Browns in Madden 18 http://pic.twitter.com/Cz2e01I9KN

— Fanatics View (@thefanaticsview) September 6, 2017

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You can no longer get free coffee from Dunkin after an Eagles win.

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Penn State managed to dodge more negative press.

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Delta tried to race Hurricana Irma to Puerto Rico. They won.

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Kyle ranted about Sal Pal, and he is on point.

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BREAKING NEWS: You can finally, barely, manage watching a Phillies game again, this is why, and what you should look for.

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A former WIP host was arrested by the FBI on Wednesday.

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If you are like me and don’t have an NFL package, this is what games we’ll get to watch on Sunday.

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Listen to the latest Crossing Broadcast where the guys talk J.P.’s debut, Mike Lombardi’s bombastic comments on Doug P, and Philly.com’s paywall.

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On the fence about subscribing to the new CB or not? This little walk-through should tell you all you need to know:

How much better does the site look with no ads? https://t.co/HKemteLfGr http://pic.twitter.com/wWdq8J6p37

— Kyle Scott (@CrossingBroad) September 6, 2017

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Remember the Phillies prospect who lost an eye in a freak accident? No? Learn all about him in this good feature by Matt Gelb.

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A man got bulldozed and was killed on Thursday morning on a construction site in Philly.

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The first week of prop bets for the NFL season are here! Bet on everything from how long Roger Goodell will get booed for to if Aaron Rodgers will have facial hair or not.

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The NFL is back, starting tonight! Enjoy!

Your Thursday Morning Roundup published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv

[junker-town]

Rick Ross puked in secret while partying with Rob Gronkowski

Rob Gronkowski partied heavily at the Super Bowl parade, which is not a surprise because this is Gronk we’re talking about. (At this point, it’d be more surprising if he wasn’t partying.)

The world was gifted some great photos during the parade, which was full of Gronk spiking beers and going shirtless. Gronk’s partying didn’t stop at the parade, however. He later ended up at Foxwoods Resort Casino with Rick Ross.

I missed the parade today but I still got to see my @gronk !!!!!!! Hey baby daddy, I love you! #newengland #patriots #rickross #gronk #5 #patsnation #loveme #superbowl #postparadeparty

A video posted by Liz (@liz_soy) on Feb 7, 2017 at 9:38pm PST

What the folks at that party didn’t know at the time was that Rick Ross was puking behind the DJ booth in secret. Here’s what Rozay revealed on The Brilliant Idiots podcast, at the start of this video:

Ross: "So what it was ... I walked up, you know, I was finna perform and do a few records. So I walked up where [DJ] Sam Sneak was at, and of course, I began drinking again. I been drinking since the listening event. I went from the Belaire Rose -- I had some nice Belaire Rose -- and I had some pineapples and strawberries in it. That was excellent.

"And then, you know, when I went to the other event, I switched it up, and went to the brown, you know I mean?"

Charlamagne: "Mix of liquors. Do your dirty every time."

R: "I mixed liquors, and so when I went on the stage, an hour or two later, I start performing, jumping around, going back to the Rose. I said 'Whoa. I feel different.' And by us spraying champagne everywhere, [Sneak] got a towel over his laptop, and I was like, 'Yo, lemme hold that towel.' He's like, 'Yo, I gotta keep my laptop. Y'all spraying champagne.' I'm like, 'Yo, fuck that.'"

C: "I'll buy you another laptop."

R: "And so, by we sittin' up to the DJ booth, every time I started to throw up, I squatted. (Ross does puking noises) Come back up. (Ross smiles and nods like nothing happened, then goes back down and pukes again) And the towel -- make sure nothing was in my beard.

“And maybe by the fourth trip down, that's when Gronkowski [says,] 'You need me to do something for you?' I said, 'Nah, I'm good, I'm good.' [He's like,] 'Why you geeked, huh?!'"

Ross eventually felt better after puking a couple of more times, and the party continued. The lessons here are: Mix your liquors at your own risk, and Gronk will out-party you every time, all the time.

(h/t Uproxx)