#straka's shitposts

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I know Gabriel is canonically really popular with Heaven’s residents but there’s bound to be some heavenly loser with pronoun envy

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we slidin’.

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they’re both so sucks

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when ur trying to shit but the catholic guy in the next stall just had a sexual awakening. this was probably funnier in my head

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imagine if you could drag Gabriel to apologize to Minos after 6-2

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put some pants on. slut

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@ the people who were drawing oiled up gabe: you people need to learn to clean up after yourselves

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So we know Gabriel’s armor changes color from a default silver to red when he’s super pissed. Implying his armor changes color with his emotions (because he’s a special little princess).

So the obvious question is: can he blush

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7-S is the greatest thing to ever happen

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I love the fact that default femshep is wearing makeup 24/7. I'm not being ironic, like I could handwave this but hear me out, I think it's funnier not to. I will allow her this one feminine indulgence. She's allowed to slay while she slays

After the Battle of the Citadel, she makes thousands of credits because the makeup company she uses asks to use the footage of her climbing out of the wreckage of the council chamber with flawless makeup for advertising purposes

Just imagine the squad has been waiting by the shuttle for the past half-hour wondering where their commander is, meanwhile Shepard is stuck squinting into the bathroom mirror because she fucked up her eyeshadow and had to start over for the third time and she is NOT going to fight those fucking collectors without her trademark intimidating smokey eye. She needs the bugs to know she has her SHIT 👏 TOGETHER 👏 GODDAMMIT

Grunt asks her why she's wearing stuff on her face all the time and she just lies and tells him it's war paint. He spreads word of this to the aliens and none of them know quite enough about human culture to confidently argue this, and the only other person on the ship with similar makeup is Jack, which, ok yeah that checks out. So they kind of just accept it. Shepard doesn't think about it again until Grunt comes up to her asking if she can put the human war paint on him before the thresher maw fight so he can match his mom battlemaster

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i got the gabe audio for this wretched thing here thank u @canon-gabriel-quotes.

Transcript:

Gabriel: How dare you insinuate that I am easily dominated?!

V1: I did not P-rank your bitch ass twice because it was easy

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ultrakill fanart bingo

this fandom has like 5 things they like to draw and i am here for it (<- also drawing those 5 things)

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needed to recover from making actual art by drawing some stupid shit . the gang in shirts that i have seen on The Internet

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I upgraded my favorite squadmate to max health so I think he'll make it this time :D

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look, I love Garrus but his ME1 characterization makes me wanna do this to him

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