#tagging the antis and criticals bc I actually like y’all and I don’t like the pro ic/feysand/rhySAnd folk

[turbo-enid]

To all my white mutuals, when I share things related to anti-blackness and being critical about whiteness, I need you guys to read those posts, reblog them, and talk about them with your peers and relatives.

It's really offensive to me when I take the time to share something that is so extremely serious to me as a black person, and you don't bother taking the time to look at the post and help me spread it. I always notice when you guys reblog signal boost posts & other posts about serious subjects from me (which is great, nothing wrong with that, definitely keep doing that), so it tells me that you are willing to share posts that challenge the status quo, but somehow post that I make about critiquing whiteness aren't worth sharing. I'm not a mindreader, so I could only explain what I'm perceiving and how it makes me feel, and it just makes me feel like this particular serious subject is being ignored and it makes me reeeaally frustrated to say the least.

On top of all of this, I really can't explain how much of a mindfuck it is when the lighthearted posts around those particular posts get notes instead.

A few of you guys I would consider really chill mutuals, and a couple I would even feel comfortable calling a friend (I'm very, very picky about who I call my friend), so moments like this just make me feel like okay,,, so do you actually want to be my long-term friend bc being my long-term friend means being willing to shed your white fragility and actually be willing to talk about serious subjects with me. Like I saw a tweet recently that articulated exactly how I feel, and it said "Asking Black people “what is bringing you joy?” after a targeted anti-black shooting is why I distrust joy or pleasure discourse. We can’t even talk about violence rigorously. I don’t trust y’all with joy. Y’all utilize “joy” to subvert a conversation about violence, neglecting the fact that joy is not devoid of violence. There is no joy w/out a radical critique of these death-dealing systems."

I'm feeling less and less comfortable experiencing joy with you when it's constantly in the back of my mind that you don't want to acknowledge the very real reality of the violence of whiteness. I'm feeling less and less comfortable regularly interacting with you when you consistently ignore posts I share about critiquing whiteness. A while ago, mutual once reblogged someone else's post from me and put in the tags she felt like her white womanhood was being attacked and that the post should have specified "straight white women" instead of white woman as a whole. Like, no. Queer white women can and have been part of the problem too.

TLDR: I just really need you guys to get it together. I don't want to be mutuals with anyone that wants to pretend that none of this is happening, when all of this is very much a real thing that is frying my nervous system almost on a daily basis, and I'm running out of the capacity to mask those feelings.

This is ok to rb.