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#talking abt some 'i'm here for u <3' in the flashback when we've already seen how he treats n talks to him in the first 3 eps
sunsetsover · 23 days
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imagine my face last night when i (extensive history of suicidal ideation) (has chronically felt lonely and unloved for my whole life) (daughter of an alcoholic) (biggest fear for most of my life was ending up an alcoholic) (has actually witnessed someone drink themselves to death) (also actively drunk at the time) sat down to watch episode four of only friends only for the episode to open with ray trying to kill himself because he felt so unloved and lonely and was petrified of ending up like his mum, who later in the episode was revealed to have drunk herself to death. just imagine my face.
#touched a wound in me that does not often get touched. i hated it more than words can actually say. i may have cried.#how are you gonna go from boston bouncing on top's dick in the back of his car to that. like how are you actually gonna do that to me.#the bpd thing was supposed to be a JOKE but bitch we are not LAUGHING anymore#girl also fuck mew's stupid ass too i like him as a character him and sand r like the only normal ones so far#but to be the one to find him and see what a state he was in and know what he was going thru ESP knowing his mum's history?#and do NOTHING abt the current state he's in?#talking abt some 'i'm here for u <3' in the flashback when we've already seen how he treats n talks to him in the first 3 eps#like ofc he can't be responsible for him n ray definitely has Problems and isn't the greatest friend either#but calling him a drunkard n letting him drive drunk isn't exactly helpful ! nor is it being there for someone !#sands known him for five minutes and already told him multiple times he needs therapy#like joking or not he at least seems to have some kind of awareness that hm the way he's behaving is not normal maybe he needs some help#girl fuck only friends this show should be called shitty friends. they all deserve better friends. like all of them.#believe it or not im enjoying this show a lot but every time i see ray i feel like someone is taking out my heart w an ice cream scoop#hes just tragic like hes a mess but he's TRAGIC bc hes confused and lonely and a mess but you can tell he's not a bad person#like you can tell he's kind and he's TRYING to be a good friend he's TRYING not to hurt sand he just doesn't know HOW#and thats what makes it worse like he very clearly doesnt WANT to be the way he is but no one is HELPING him and i wanna KMS abt it
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