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[secretagentspydetectiveninja]

Splataclysm! - chapter 5

Hey does anyone remember that really weird Splatoon AU fic I was writing? I promise I didn’t forget about it. I’m gonna try and get it finished as soon as possible because I have been in such a Splatoon mood lately. Anyway, have some Octoling appreciation :D

Also on AO3 as always

It wasn’t long before the next Splatfest was announced in Inkopolis. The difference was that this time, it was the final Splatfest. The Squid Sisters were becoming too busy to regularly host them.

“It’s so unfair!” Nath complained to Rose as they walked towards the voting booth to pick their teams. “I didn’t get here very long ago and I’m only ever going to experience one Splatfest while everyone else got to participate in loads!”

“At least this is the most interesting one!” Rose said. “Usually our team choices were things like Barbarian vs Ninja, or North Pole vs South Pole. But this time? Mireille vs Aurore! That’s much more exciting!”

Nath sighed. “I don’t even know who I’ll pick. They’re both equal to me.”

“Same! I’m going to feel ever so bad for having to choose between them!”

Of course Rose would. She was just too nice for her own good. Nath was slowly starting to feel weirdly protective over her, like a little sister, and he wasn’t sure he liked it.

There was the voting booth up ahead, where people picked their teams and were given a “Splatfest Tee” to wear for the duration of the event to signify which side they were supporting. Nath was about to go up and just flip a coin to pick a random side when he noticed who the inklings standing at the booth were.

The Slaughter Squad.

“Let’s just stay back a second,” he muttered, grabbing Rose’s arm and pulling her aside.

The Slaughter Squad seemed to have trouble choosing too. They didn’t appear to notice that they were completely blocking off the voting booth from anyone else who wanted to vote and had already made up their mind.

“What do you think, Max?” Kim asked.

Max just shrugged, his sunglasses obscuring his expression but body language betraying that he seemed rather bored.

“Mireille does tend to always win,” Alix said.

“Yeah, duh, we all know that. No need to point out the obvious, jeez.”

“Alright, I was just saying!”

“So anyway, I think we should pick Team Mireille. Everyone always picks Aurore’s team so the multiplier will be in our favour and whatever other maths stuff Max told us about last time.”

“But if everyone knows that Mireille always wins, and this is the final Splatfest, then more people might pick Mireille and the multiplier might boost Aurore’s team instead…”

“Oh shut up,” Kim snapped, shoving her aside. “We’re voting Team Mireille and that’s final. Right Max?”

Max just shrugged again, very much looking like he was stifling a yawn.

“Okay, that’s settled. Team Mireille it is.”

The three of them pressed the left side buttons on the machine and were given three magenta-coloured Splatfest Tees.

“I hate these stupid t-shirts,” Alix said, scrunching hers into a ball.

“Of course you do, you’re way too small to fit in them properly.”

“Actually I hate them because all the abilities I worked so hard to earn on my hoodie just go to waste for these two days when we’re forced to wear these instead–”

“I don’t care. Let’s go.”

Nath watched the Slaughter Squad walk off, suspecting that he might have been gripping Rose’s arm just a little too tightly. How were the Slaughter Squad so fresh? How did they become so good? Was it practice? Luck? Were they just born like that?

Well, he suspected in Kim and Alix’s cases it might be luck and practice. But Max? Max “Unsplattable” Kanté? That guy just oozed freshness, so easily, so effortlessly, with his E-Litre 3K Scope slung over his shoulder, that 3-star triple Damage Up jacket, those sunglasses catching glints of the light from the sky and buildings around them, the way the sun seemed to shine its rays on him specifically, basking him in some kind of ethereal glow like a sort of immortal omnipotent being–

Nath looked away quickly, blushing. He hadn’t realized he was staring.

“Have you decided on a team yet?” Rose asked, distracting him from his rather overactive mind.

“Hm?... Oh, yeah…” He loosened his grip slightly and led her over to the voting booth. “I’m picking Team Mireille. I don’t want to lose my only Splatfest, and if she always wins, well…”

“Good choice!” Rose said, beaming up at him. “I think I’ll pick Mireille too! Then the two of us can be on the same team.”

He smiled back, feeling oddly comforted at the thought of Rose being his teammate. She was pretty much still his only friend here. It was good to have her around.

They cast their votes, then were given Splatfest Tees to wear. The actual Splatfest would begin the next day, so they didn’t have to wear them until then. Meanwhile in the plaza, a large stage was being set up near the television booth. Apparently every Splatfest, the Squid Sisters would perform their songs standing up on here. Nath couldn’t wait to see it. Of course he’d heard them perform live before – he had been there to watch them win the Youth Folk-Singing Contest in the first place – but here in Inkopolis, where they were celebrities, it would feel much more exciting.

“Oh! I’ve got a new message!” Rose pulled her phone out of her pocket.

“Let me guess, it’s from Juleka?” Nath asked. Juleka seemed to be the only person Rose got messages from these days.

“It is, it is! And oh listen… she’s asking me if I’d want to get a coffee… that’s so sweet…”

“You don’t even like coffee,” Nath pointed out.

“I know, but still! It’s the thought that counts!”

“Have you even met Juleka before? In person?”

“Of course I have!” Rose frowned at him, looking slightly annoyed for once. “I know I don’t tend to battle much, but I have asked her to update my gear with more ability slots before. I’ve spoken to her a lot. She’s just shy, she doesn’t like going out of her way to talk to people. It doesn’t mean I can’t get to know her well. And where better than a coffee date at Arowana Mall?”

She had a kind of fire in her eyes that he hadn’t seen before. Huh, she really cared about Juleka, didn’t she?

“You should ask her to be your girlfriend,” he said on a whim.

“You think so? I mean, I would love to, but… she’s… a sea urchin…”

“No one bats an eyelid at Mylène the anemone and Ivan the inkling.”

“True! You’re right, maybe I should ask Juleka!” She giggled a little. “So, what caused your sudden dramatic turn-around, Nath? According to Juleka you weren’t even willing to give her my number at first…”

Oh drat, Rose knew about that? How embarrassing.

“I was just being stupid,” he said quickly. “Seriously though, you and Juleka deserve each other. You both seem to like each other a lot, so why not?”

“Aww, Nath!” Rose hugged him. “Do you really think she likes me back?”

“Well why else is she asking you on a coffee date to Arowana Mall?”

“Good point! Anyway, I’d better reply and then head off to go find her. I’ll see you later, okay?”

She started typing away on her phone as she walked off.

Well, now what? Nath found himself wishing he had more friends. People often tended to go battling in groups, but he just wasn’t close enough with anyone else. It wasn’t like Rose ever battled much anyway.

He sighed, watching all the other inklings milling around in the area. Why couldn’t he just talk to them? He had always been so shy, so reserved, so quiet. And now, here in this city, he wasn’t fresh enough either. How long was it going to take?

Octo Valley was slowly becoming more unforgiving as the Octarians were improving their forces. Some of the foes that Marinette and Adrien had to face were much more difficult than before, with advanced weaponry that could only have been stolen from the inklings. How was that possible? Did they get the information from Nino? And where were they keeping him? How long would it be until he could be found?

The most difficult of the Octarian enemies so far were the Octolings. They were essentially the Octarian versions of inklings – humanoid creatures that could shift into octopus form at will and swim through their own ink, with weapons and bombs just like the inklings used. It was far more tiring to fight them than any of the other, simpler Octarian enemies.

“This kettle looks a lot like Kelp Dome,” Marinette said to Adrien as they entered a new area. “It’s like they’ve copied it.”

“I was thinking the same thing…”

“Beware of the Octolings!” Fu warned them through the radio. “There’ll be plenty ahead, no doubt!”

“It’s no problem,” Marinette said. “We know this course inside out. Adrien, you go right. I’ll go left. We’ll meet back in the centre. If you need any help or find the butterfly before me, just let me know by radio.”

“Are you sure we should split up?” Adrien asked.

“It’ll be fine.” Marinette smiled at him, hoping she looked encouraging. “You can do it. Octolings are just like inklings, right? Pretend it’s a Turf War or Ranked Battle and you’re just splatting your opponents. I’ll be close by to help if you need it.”

“Alright. Thanks, Marinette.”

He put his Krak-On Splat Roller on the ground and began running off down one of the side paths. Marinette turned to the left and headed the other way.

It wasn’t difficult at first. Sure, Octolings were tougher than other Octarian enemies. But Marinette was a battle veteran, she was used to difficult situations. This kind of thing didn’t feel particularly out of the ordinary for her. She splatted Octoling after Octoling, keeping her eyes out for the butterfly, trying not to feel too guilty. Octolings really did look like inklings to her. At least they would respawn – though hopefully not too soon.

She had reached the opposite side of the dome when she heard something that sounded incredibly familiar. Was that… the Squid Sisters? Singing?

Marinette ran towards where the sound was coming from, though cautiously in case it was a trap of some sort. Sure enough, as the music got louder, she did recognize it. That definitely was the sound of a Squid Sisters song, and not just any song. “Calamari Inkantation”, as it was called, was the inkling song. The most famous melody in existence. The Squid Sisters had covered it and their version was topping the charts, it was such a favourite among the citizens of Inkopolis.

Hiding behind a wall, Marinette slowly inched forwards and had a look around the corner. There! A radio was sitting on one of the platforms, playing Calamari Inkantation. And someone was sitting in front of it, quietly singing along.

Not just anyone. An Octoling.

Marinette lowered her weapon slightly. Why was an Octoling listening to inkling radio stations? And singing along? Marinette hadn’t even thought Octolings could understand the inkling language. It usually took jellyfish and other sea creatures long enough to learn.

The Octoling… she had a lovely voice, that was for sure. She was sitting facing the other way so only the back of her was visible. Her tentacle hair was longer than most Octolings usually kept theirs, a beautiful auburn colour with gentle curls. It swayed slightly in the breeze.

Huh, a breeze? Here, underground? Maybe the Octarians pumped air into their caves or something. Or perhaps this Octoling’s hair just moved like that on its own. Marinette watched in fascination.

The song came to an end, and the sound of the radio presenter followed.

“…And that was our good old Calamari Inkantation, by the Squid Sisters we all know and love! I hope everyone out there was singing along! Now for the Splatfest news – our final Splatfest, Mireille vs Aurore, has begun! We can’t say for sure what the results will be yet but surely it’ll be close…”

“I’m missing a SPLATFEST?!” Marinette yelped, unable to stop herself. She quickly put her hand over her mouth and dipped into squid form.

The Octoling switched off the radio and jumped up, looking around. Marinette stayed as still as possible.

“Hello? Is someone there?”

The Octoling had spoken in inkling – oh, she had spoken in inkling. Singing a song was one thing, but she had really said a sentence in the language. She could speak it. Her words had a strange lilt to them, her voice sounding slightly lower and smoother than that of inklings. Marinette held back a gasp.

“I know I heard someone…”

The Octarian turned around. Her tentacles were cut short at the front into a fringe, and she had little foxtails dangling down by her shoulders. Most Octolings wore visors but this one didn’t – her eyes were green, a beautiful, leafy green that was surprisingly uncommon on this wasteland of a planet.

Marinette moved backwards a little. It was a mistake. The Octoling’s eyes snapped down to where Marinette was hiding in the ink.

“You’re there, I know you are! Please come out! I promise I won’t attack you!”

“Don’t fall for it,” Fu muttered through the radio. Marinette had forgotten he was there. “She’s just luring you into a false sense of security. Better to splat her on sight.”

It was true. Octolings were not to be trusted.

But this Octoling… she didn’t have a weapon with her. She was entirely defenceless. And anyway, how could she be all bad? She had been listening to inkling radio, right? Apparently she liked the Squid Sisters. She couldn’t be an enemy to the inklings.

Marinette slowly stood up into her full humanoid form, still keeping her weapon close just in case. The Octoling’s expression softened as she watched.

“You’re an inkling,” she said quietly, keeping her distance. She looked a little afraid. “You’re one of the ones travelling through our lands and taking the butterflies away.”

“I’m taking the butterflies back,” Marinette clarified. “They were ours to begin with.”

The Octoling sighed. “That’s true…”

“What are you waiting for?” Fu said. “Splat her! She’s right there!”

“Why were you listening to inkling radio?” Marinette asked, ignoring Fu for the moment. She was too intrigued now. She needed answers.

“I love the Squid Sisters,” the Octoling replied. “They have such amazing voices! And amazing songs! I want to be a singer too, so it really inspires me.”

“Don’t you have any Octarian idols of your own?”

The Octoling shuffled around nervously. “We’re not supposed to make our own music. Our leader likes us to listen to his music only.”

“Your leader doesn’t sound very nice…”

The Octoling shrugged. “What can we do? Inklings won’t let us have any land up on the surface, and we can’t go back in the sea. Our leader and our kettles are all we have.”

Oh, so was that why they were stealing butterflies? Because they didn’t have anything else? To them, the inklings must seem so privileged. Marinette was starting to feel rather bad indeed for how many Octarians she had splatted recently. Weren’t they just doing exactly what she was doing? Trying to protect her home and her friends?

“You’re not as bad as they’ve told us the inklings are,” the Octoling continued. “Are all inklings like you?”

“Every inkling is different, I suppose. Maybe some are good, some are bad.” Like Octarians, she thought to herself, though she didn’t say it out loud. Fu was still listening, after all, and he hated all Octarians no matter what.

“You seem like a good inkling. You just want to get your butterflies back. I understand.”

“And I want my friend back too,” Marinette said, feeling stronger as she thought of Nino. “He’s been kidnapped and we don’t know what’s happening to him down here. Me and my fellow agent have to rescue him.”

The Octoling nodded. “I know who you’re talking about. Your friend. He’s… well… please don’t be too shocked when you find him, okay?”

“What? What are you talking about?”

“He might be a bit different now. Well, a lot different. I don’t know exactly what our leader has done with him but I’ve heard some rumours.”

“What rumours? Please, tell me what’s happened to Nino!”

“I don’t know!” The Octoling looked scared again. “Even if I did, how could I tell you? You’re an inkling! You’re… you’re an enemy…”

“Exactly,” Fu said, sounding impatient. “She’s your enemy, now just splat her already!”

“We don’t have to be enemies,” Marinette said.

“I know,” the Octoling replied. “But what can I do? I’ve already betrayed my people enough by telling you all this. And listening to your music. And wishing I could move to Inkopolis and be as fresh as all of you are–”

She snapped her hand over her mouth, looking around as if she was expecting someone to be spying on her.

“It’s okay,” Marinette said. “You don’t have to tell me anymore. I’ll, uh, leave you alone now…”

“Wait! I just want to know… what’s your name?”

Marinette hesitated. No one was supposed to know her identity, not even people back home.

“Ladybug,” she replied finally. It wasn’t a total lie. “What’s your name?”

The Octoling hesitated too. After a few seconds she said, “Volpina.”

That must be a lie. Marinette just nodded.

“Volpina. Thank you. I wish you luck in your singing career.”

“And I hope you can rescue your friend.”

“WHY AREN’T YOU SPLATTING HER?!” Fu screeched.

Marinette hurried away, back towards the outer edges of Kelp Dome. How could she have splatted “Volpina”? Sure, Volpina would have respawned, but still. It would have seemed so unfair.

Things were still not sinking in. An Octoling who was a fan of the Squid Sisters? Who wanted to move to Inkopolis and be just like the inklings? Marinette carried on trudging through the dome, but she just couldn’t get her mind off it. She couldn’t get her mind off Volpina.

This Splatfest was not going well. Nath had decided to try out a Blaster, and his teammate Ivan was just staring at him in dismay.

“What?” Nath asked.

“You’re using a Blaster,” Ivan replied, his voice completely monotone. He sounded more disappointed than Nath had ever heard him.

“Yeah? So? I like trying out new weapons.” More like, he kept trying out new weapons because he still hadn’t found one that fit, and Tikki wouldn’t help him with it.

“You’re using a Blaster. For a Turf War.”

“What’s wrong with that?”

Ivan rubbed his forehead. “Blasters are for splatting. Not for inking.”

“Well so are Chargers, right? And Max uses a Charger!”

“Max is an exception to every rule. Some people might be alright at using Blasters during Turf War, but you? On your first try? During a Splatfest, when it actually matters whether we win or lose?”

Ouch. Did Ivan really have such little faith in him?

“Relax, Ivan, it’ll be fine,” he said. “Okay, so I know Blasters have a low fire rate and stuff. But they have exploding bullets! I’ll be able to splat people way more easily, so they won’t be able to ink any turf, and we’ll win. That’s how it’s going to work.”

Ivan just sighed. “I sure do hope so, Nathaniel…”

The match that followed was a disaster. It was true that Blasters did not cover much turf. Nath had hoped that the bullets would make up for it, but the low fire rate meant that if Nath missed his shot, the opponent would have time to splat him before he could take another shot. And that happened far, far too often. Nath was terrible at aiming. The only thing that kept him going through the match was the Squid Sisters music that was blasting through the speakers, keeping his motivation up.

“I knew our team would lose,” Ivan said once the match results had been announced. The rest of the team members were trudging away solemnly. It seemed that people took losing Splatfest battles much more seriously than normal battles.

“It’s my fault, isn’t it?” Nath said, looking at his Blaster. “You’re right, this weapon sucks for Turf War. I should have thought about that first.”

“Hey…” Ivan looked like he was trying to smile, though it didn’t look particularly genuine. “You still did pretty well for a Blaster, though.”

“No I didn’t! 400p? That’s awful!”

“And what did you get on your very first match here in Inkopolis?”

Nath thought back. It suddenly felt like a long time ago. “I think it was about 140p…”

“See? So you are improving!”

Well, that much was true. He wasn’t anywhere near as bad now as he used to be. Alright, so he wasn’t amazing yet. But at least things were changing.

“Thanks, Ivan,” he said, really meaning it. “Hey – are Heavy Splatlings easy to use, by any chance?”

Ivan picked his Heavy Splatling up off the floor beside him. “Not that much. It took me a while to get used to it. But this is the exact kind of weapon I love. I can keep back, away from the front lines, but still protect my teammates when they need it. And unlike a Charger, I don’t need to bother with single, accurate shots. I can just pummel the opponents until they give in.”

That sounded amazing. “Maybe I’ll try that next.”

“Sure, but remember, it’s still hard to get the hang of. Most weapons are. Maybe a Mini Splatling would be better for someone as… well…” Ivan looked down at Nath from his rather high-up point of view.

“Yeah, okay, I get it,” Nath muttered. “I’m small. But I can lift a Heavy Splatling, don’t worry.”

Ivan’s smile looked a lot more genuine now. “I’m sure you can. Good luck, Nath. I know this is your only Splatfest so I’m really hoping we win.”

“Me too.”

“Will you two hurry up and go away?” Plagg called from the centre of the arena. “I need to start the next match!”

Oh – of course! Nath quickly Super Jumped away.

Heavy Splatling didn’t work so well. Mini Splatling didn’t either. Just like Chargers, those weapons had to be charged up before being fired. And Nath was constantly being splatted while waiting to charge. It was just so, so tedious.

“Tikki, what kind of weapon should I be using?” he asked her after yet another lost Turf War. At this rate Team Mireille were going to lose the Splatfest for sure.

“That’s not up to me,” Tikki said.

“But I’m trying out so many different things and it’s not helping!”

“Well, you do seem to be very good at using a Splattershot these days…”

“Everyone’s good at using a Splattershot. And anyway, I’m not above average when I use it. It just doesn’t feel like the kind of weapon I should be using. I know there’s something out there that’s perfect for me, and I just need to find it!”

“In that case, here is my advice.” Tikki took a deep breath. “Watch your teammates and opponents very carefully. See what weapons they’re using, what playstyles they are employing. Do they play aggressively? Cautiously? Defensively? Are certain strategies better with particular weapon types? Do some analysis. See if you can imagine yourself in their positions, whether or not you would feel comfortable playing the way they do. Use that to help you narrow down what sort of weapon you want to use.”

That was pretty much what he had been trying to do already. But getting mad at Tikki wouldn’t achieve anything – she was just trying to help him.

“Thank you,” he said. “I think I’ll stick with a Splattershot for now…”

“That sounds like a good idea. But let me know if there’s anything else you want to try out!”

“I will. But I’ll wait till the end of the Splatfest first.”

Tikki glanced at a clock on the wall. “Isn’t that in about 2 minutes?”

What?! Nath looked at the clock to see–

No! The Splatfest was about to end! Did he have time for another battle?

Without even bothering to say bye to Tikki, he raced out of the door and across the plaza towards the Lobby. Surely he could make it in time?

But he didn’t. The doors were closed. And a few seconds later, the screen in the plaza lit up with an announcement from the Squid Sisters. He turned to look, trying not to feel too grumpy.

“And that’s the end of the final Splatfest!” Mireille said, punching a fist up in the air as usual. “I can’t wait to find out the results!”

“Same!” Aurore said, a rare smile on her face. “We’ll let you all know when the results have been calculated. In the meantime, carry on with all your regular battles, and stuff.”

“And now to announce the Turf War stages…”

Nath didn’t bother to listen to any more. This Splatfest was over, and he had hardly contributed at all. He’d lost most of his matches. It wouldn’t be a surprise if his team lost.

The next morning, he sat in his apartment drinking a rather large mug of coffee and feeling more glum than usual. He had been intending to psych himself up to find out the results of the Splatfest and then go into the plaza when he was ready. But the morning newspaper had arrived and already told him the bad news.

TEAM AURORE WINS FINAL SPLATFEST DESPITE GAINING FEWER VOTES

Wasn’t that exactly what Alix had been warning her teammates about? Most people would have voted for Mireille, expecting her to win, and the mysterious “multiplier” (whatever that was) would give enough of a boost to Aurore’s team to drive her to victory instead.

So that was it. Nath had lost his only Splatfest. He would never get a chance to participate in another one again, ever, in his life.

He grabbed an energy drink off the counter beside him and dunked it all into his coffee mug. He was definitely going to need it today.