#thats a good word. performative. thats the energy this person was bringing to the replies of my 23 note post

[taeilssunflower]

Why break up in the first place? MJ Astro smut

Helloooo so I made it a reunion but by y/n changing universities because I was stuck on writing a plot for a high school reunion. Especially for the plot I had in mind without making them like 30. I am so sorry this took 10 years ugh. Next is Felix and that should be up in the next 1.5 weeks. 

Rating: smut, fluff

Warnings: reunion smut, oral (fem receiving) semi-public sex (in a public place but no one sees) fem!reader

Word count: 1.86k

Unpacking the last of your bags you flopped on your bed, exhausted. You just changed universities, after studying economics for 3 years at one to please your parents you decided to make a move toward your passion and applied for a performance university where you were about to major in singing. You met your new roommate a week prior, a photographer called Sunmi. You scrolled through your phone for a while before Sunmi came in.

“Yay!! You’re done.” She said, pulling you up. “I,” she said “am taking you out.” You pouted “Out where?” You didn’t exactly want to go out, you were tired and wanted to watch ‘My ID is Gangnam Beauty’ on Netflix then sleep. “I have to introduce you to my friends!” God, this girl had lots of energy. “Come onnnn, put your shoes on and lets go.” She laughed. “Ok, ok.” You gave in. 

Sunmi took you to what looked like a giant frat house. Your step faltered but once you were inside you were surprised by the cleanliness of it. “Boys! Where are you?”

You wound up in a giant living room with 7 boys sprawled out on the floor and couch. “This is my new roommate Y/N.” Sunmi introduced you. You waved “Hey.” Your face scanned the boys, one looked very very familiar to you though. They all introduced themselves, Sanha, Jae, Brian, Jinwoo, Rocky, Dowoon and then “Hi, I’m Eunwoo.” Thats where you knew him from. “Oh, you’re in-“ “My ID is Gangnam Beauty, yes” he finished for you, showing his eye smiles. You laughed awkwardly, kind of dazed because what the hell.

Sanha spoke up “Moonbin, Wonpil and Sungjin are out right now and MJ is upstairs, but he should be down soon.” The 9 of you got drinks and you were explaining why you transferred when a boy walked down the stairs. “Ah MJ there you are.” Rocky said. You turned you head. There was your ex boyfriend, shirtless with a towel around his neck, wet hair leaving droplets on it. “Y/N?” he said “Myungjun” you blinked  Oh, MJ “You two know each other?” Your head turned to Brian before turning back, only finding MJ gone upstairs, presumably to put a shirt on. 

You turned back to 8 sets of expectant eyes. You went on to explain you and MJ dated for 5 years, through the end of high school and broke up a year and a half ago. Toward the end of the story MJ came down the stairs again. He looked at you and scratched the back of his neck. “How have you been?” You asked. “I’ve been ok,” he replied “I don’t mean to come off as rude but why are you here?” “I changed universities to major in singing.” You couldn’t believe it completely slipped your mind that he went there, you remember how excited he was when he told you he got accepted into the uni. “Hey” he smiled that smile you missed so much “Thats my major.”

A couple months and you were certainly settled into your schedule, Sunmi was miles better than any roommate you’d had before and you finally met the others. You and MJ were good friends, always getting coffee before walking to class together, since you both major in the same department. It was never really awkward between you two, and you could see how much he matured. You missed him and regretted cutting off contact with him but at the time it seemed like the easiest, less painful thing to do. He was as bright and bubbly as ever, his excitableness and loudness never changed.

“Y/N?” Your thoughts were cut off by MJ tapping your shoulder. “Hmm?” You hummed in question. “You spaced out, do you want to study in the book shop tonight?”

MJ worked at a book shop, a quaint little place and during his late shift, almost no one came in so he often abandoned his duty to come study with you. “Sure, I need to work on my English.”

You and MJ had been studying for a good while. You had finished majority of your English and was craving a break. “Wanna take a break?” MJ like he read your mind as you stretched back. You nodded and stood up. You lazily scanned the book shelf when you tripped on the leg of MJs chair. You fell over, falling just past the fluffy carpet to have your knee scrape against the wooden floor. “Are you ok?” asked MJ. You turned around to sit on your butt. Red trickled from your knee. “I’ll be right back.” MJ said, then return shortly after with a cloth and a bandaid. You let him clean your knee. “Y/N?” MJ asked, looking up from your knee. “Hmm?” you hummed in question. 

“Can I kiss you?” You lightly blushed at the question. Too many things to say yet nothing at the same time, all you could bring yourself to do was nod. You felt his breath on the side of your mouth before his plush lips sealed over yours. He pulled you back, so he was lying back on the carpet, with you situated on top of him, awkwardly balancing yourself so much as to not let your hurt knee touch the floor. Once he realised he promptly flipped you over so he was on top of you. His lips were working a frenzy against yours and you were almost to lost to care you were in a public place. We’re only kissing, its fine. You went to assure yourself, but as his jean-clad bulge grinded down onto you you pulled away. “MJ…” you started while catching your breath. He was now kissing your neck, giving a little hum for you to continue. “MJ, we’re in a book shop, oh my god is there CCTV?” He pulled away and stroked your cheek with his thumb. “We only have a mirror in the top corner as security and the shop closed 40 minutes ago, I’ve already turned the sign.” He smiled. “Oh.” Was all you said. 

Not wanting you apart for much longer you pulled his head back down again. His right hand went down to pull on the string of your sweatpants, and pulling them off of your waist. You were so turned on you could feel the cool air hit your wet underwear. “MJ, off” You commanded motioning at his pants. He pulled his jeans off as well as getting your sweats fully off of your legs. His shirt followed after. He had definitely gotten some more muscle since you were last with him intimately, him being quite scrawny back then. “You're still clean right?” You asked, sure you’d been together before but you knew you’d both had sexual partners since. “I wouldn’t have taken it this far if I wasn’t” he pointed out. You nodded. “Ok, me too.” 

Your hands felt the smooth skin of his back as your legs wrapped around his waist, encouraging him closer to you. He grinded down again, the feeling so much more raw with less clothes. You could clearly feel the outline of his semi-hard cock. Pulling it out of his briefs, you pumped him until he was fully hard. As you did he let out a whine and his hand slipped into your underwear to prep you. “Always so wet Y/N, nothing has changed.” “Hurry please.” you asked. Your core begged to be filled. When he just kissed you again, you tugged the edge of his briefs harshly so his hips were brought closer to your face as he hovered over you. Your tongue met his pre-cum covered tip as you started pulling his briefs lower, now resting mid-thigh. He swung his leg off of you to take them off. With him no longer covering you, you felt so much more self-aware of what you were doing and where you were. “I really hope no-one can see us.” you mumbled but MJ still heard it. “I locked the door and we’re hidden by two rows of bookshelfs. I promise we’re ok.” This encouraged you to pull your hoodie off, also slipping off your bralette. “MJ, in my purse there should be a condom.” He nodded and shuffled around before pulling it out. “C-can I put it on?” you felt kinda dumb for saying that but you knew he liked it when the other person did it. He smiled cutely and shuffled his hips closer to yours as you sat up. After it was on and another kiss, he was lined up. “I really missed you.” you said. “I don't want this to be a one time thing.” 

“Do you think we’re ready to date again?” He asked. “Yes.” you whispered. That was enough for him to fill you up. Your walls accepted him eagerly. He kissed your chest as he made the first tentative thrust. “Fuck” he cursed. “I missed you so much.” He fought the urge to turn you around and take you from behind because of your knee, instead, bringing both your knees over his shoulders. The movement lifted your ass, causing him to be able to reach deeper inside of you. Your head went to the side as you tried to hide your moans. “You can make noise baby, just not too loud.” MJ fucked you harder on the carpet at the bookstore, you no longer phased by the location. “More, MJ.” you said. His hand went to rub your clit as he watched himself enter and leave your core. He couldn't wait until he could fuck you raw again. He hadn't had sex in months, so his stamina wasn't at its best as he felt himself grow closer. He came into the condom, wanting to keep going but for the sake of not having cum spill everywhere he pulled out. He quickly removed and tied the condom as you whined, upset at the loss of friction. As soon as he was done his fingers slammed into your core and his lips sucked on your clit. You moaned at the relief, feeling the pleasure inside you building again. You bit the back of your hand as you came harshly, shock waves of overstimulation making your body jerk as MJ continued getting you off. His mouth quickly met yours as soon as he was done, you tasting yourself all around his lips and tongue. 

You felt that warmth in your chest spread again, feeling genuine happiness and serenity from being with MJ. Breaking up with him seemed so insignificant now. “Be my boyfriend again, please.” You asked. His lips pursed into a smile. “Well I don’t have to worry about my parents not liking you at least.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When the group found out, they weren't the least surprised. “You knew all along?” You asked at Moonbin. “We all saw it coming like 2 weeks into you coming to the school.” Wonpil mentioned.

“Yeah hyung, I would've asked her out of it weren't so obvious.” Rocky teased followed by a loud yelp as MJ attacked him before picking you up and running out of the house, all the others laughing. 

[sukisdeliveryservice]

helloo! how was your day milady? its always a pleasure reading your replies too! <333 and i hope you'll enjoy your hiatus :))

also idk i just find parrots rly pretty, and the way the supposedly repeat stuff you say is rly endearing too djhdjfhfb in all honesty, im pretty new to the whole baking thing, but i love making cookies :D they always smell so lovely djfjdjdj i'd love to explore and make more stuff!

you do digital drawing? :o id love to see something! only if you're comfortable sharing though ofc <3

mmm i haven't watched alot of tv shows really tbh. my favourite and the only one im invested in atm is friends, ive watched alittle of modern family and how i met your mother, but that's pretty much it ig jdndjdj

as for movies, i love the greatest showman! it hits a bit too close to home but i always love the goosebumps i get whenever i watch it :) next would be thor ragnorok, which ive mentioned before djjdjs but its just really funny and love it sm, and it was loki's turning point so bonus marks. black widow is also a new favourite <333 though i felt terrible when they were being tortured as kids, but it really showed a new perspective on natasha and her past. i also really like the notebook! everything was so sweet it rly nearly brought me to tears jsbdjdjjsh and finally the shawshank redemption! it was something i didn't rly think i would like, but i was really pleasantly surprised lmao. everything was pretty depressing but it also kinda blew my mind away :D

for songs, my no.1 song rn is nct dream's irreplaceable, idk why exactly but i love that song. i also have a thing for songs that are similar genres to baekhyun's un village, nct jaehyun's try again and jungkook's still with you, so those are three more though im not really sure if they're really the same genre anyways and its been almost a year now and i still cant get over how nct 127's boom makes me feel 💕

hmm for fics, i dont really remember everything i read, but i absolutely loved your ceo cheol fic 🥺 it was so cute and the way reader and cheol work perfectly together T-T most of the time fics like these consist of cold bosses who only show a little warmth to the reader, but cheol was so sweet throughout everything it just made everything so much more adorable and endearing. i really really loved it :'D <333

what are your top 5 of these? and also for the next question, have you ever

been to a concert?

sneaked out from your house?

gone through a one direction and/or bts phase?

had a crush?

had a pet?

performed in front of a crowd?

read a book/fic that you love so much you still think of it occasionally? (yes im asking for recs)

- 💎 anon who loves you lots!! <333

milady?? heh you sound like chat noir from miraculous ladybug (my guilty non guilty pleasure show) i was thinking carefully about these answers thats why it took so long!! i'm going to go to bed after this is posted hehe this is gonna be a long reply so take all the time you need to answer pfft- my day has been lovely thanks to this ask by the way!!

yeah i'd love to show you something!! there were a couple burried in my rambling tags but when we're allowed to turn off anon i'd love to show you!! do you have discord btw?? it might be easier to talk on there afterwards!!

ooh how i met your mother is probably my favourite sitcom!! maybe that and b99. its pretty long and the ending was erm...not good imo but i still think the long length was worth finishing!!

the movies you picked are lovely anon!! i am also a fan of the greatest showman since i am also a big fan of musicals!! it was pretty fast paced but overall the grandeur and visuals of it stunned me and the sountrack is amazing!! i haven't watched black widow but hopefully soon!! and i dont usually watch a lot of western films but i really want to check out the notebook as well!!

ahh your music taste is also exquisite!! so im guessing you're more into like soft pop/rnb kinds of songs!! i definitely listen to baekhyun's music before sleeping since his vocals really suit soothing songs. i really need to check out more of nct's music - hello future was really good!!

OMG ANON YOU READ MY CHEOL FIC??? i was so unsure about that one but it makes my heart squeeze that you read all of it and liked it :'D

okie so my top 5 (no particular order) i'm probably forgetting a few

tv shows - 1. HUGE atla fan!! i even liked legend of korra even though some poeple didn't 2. how i met your mother 3. horimiya 4. extraordinary you 5. yona of the dawn

movies - 1. your name 2. big hero 6 3. tangled 4. weathering with you 5. from up on poppy hill - literally any ghibli i've watched

books (sorry lots of these are manga) - 1. fruits basket 2. haikyuu!! 3. SNOW WHITE WITH THE RED HAIR (IT'S MY FAVOURITE EVERYTHING) 4. to all the boys i've loved before (it's very different from the movies) 5. i don't mean to bring up percy jackson since it's been years but those books are still everything to me

songs - 1. eight (iu, suga) 2. all my love (svt) 3. kidult (svt) 4. dandelions (ruth b) 5. somehow (day6)

thank you for asking anon! i loved listing these out! next to the never have i ever!!

been to a concert? NEVER!! waiting for svt to come to canada, they didn't list canada for ode to you :(((

sneaked out from your house? NEVER i've sneaked people into my house...

gone through a one direction and/or bts phase? I HAVE! bts but it was only for like a month before i fell in love with 13 men...

had a crush? soobin duh i'm beginning to realize now that maybe i've been more in love with the idea of love instead of harbouring genuine feelings // NEVER!!

had a pet? I HAVE!! multiple fishes...rip

performed in front of a crowd? I HAVE!! i've played the drums during school concerts and during a competition a few years back!!

read a book/fic that you love so much you still think of it occasionally?

for this last one i'm going to tie it in into my top 5 fics of all time!! (with mini reviews!!) i should make a masterlist of my recs honestly - when i compile all of my favourites i think that's when i've be brave enough to tag the writers fjdshfdkj

out of touch, out of time by @/by-moonflower // i read this months ago and my heart literally still sinks whenever it even crosses my mind. i don't think i've ever been so emotionally impacted by a fic before and this is my go to rec for anyone who wants to FEEL something. i don't wanna go in depth as to spoil it, so i'll just leave it at that for now.

outlasting the universe by @/by-moonflower // you know what i'm just gonna link their entire masterlist because all of their works (even the short drabbles) are just literary masterpieces. the way they write makes you feel so alive?? and everything just speaks for itself and is so authentic. they make you feel like you're wandering amidst a ghibli film, periof. authentic is the best word i can use to describe their work and this fic is just the definition of beautiful.

bluff and nonsense by @/thepixelelf // THIS FIC. it's my go to rec overall. it was so memorable had such good flow and just genuinely so genuine?? i have no other words to describe it, it's just so ,,, lovely. the plot takes you on a journey and it's woven together so seamlessly.

in a span of three months by @/viastro // i won't be surpprised if you've read this one already because this author is a true staple in the carat writing community and honestly all of their works are simple timeless. this one really hit the mark for the me the most though and i finished it all in one sitting.

wish by @chocosvt // goodness i'm a fan of hoshi fics aren't i? this one was also really memorable for me and i have read it several times!! friends to lovers but they really made the trope their own and added lots of twists and tadbits that gave it so much charm!! i would also rec this as a starter fic for svt :))

phew thank you for reading all of that anon, i really appreicate you taking the time to write such love responses and questions. now i'd like to know your answers for the same questions ,,, have you ever:

been to a concert?

sneaked out from your house?

gone through a one direction and/or bts phase?

had a crush?

had a pet?

performed in front of a crowd?

read a book/fic that you love so much you still think of it occasionally?

to add on:

been to a place/been in a particular mood after a specific event that you wanted to stay in forever?

written a piece of work that sparked energy within your fingertips!!

met a person/have someone in your life who you now just treasure so deeply?

this is getting super long we need to reveal our identities soon fkdsfkjlds

[gabriellapatterson-blog]

Kiddo with a sweet tooth

A/N this is a fic with Gabby and Hazel set before the Sandcastle building fic. Thanks to @hazelschreave for the rp

Why does chocolate smell so good? I just wanna eat all of it. But *clenches fist* I just can't. I heard a noise as I worked and looked up to see Princess Hazel.

“Oh hello!” I stated.

She looked up at her phone and seemed to think for a moment trying to put a name to face, “Oh, hey, you're weed breakfast girl!” She exclaimed causing me to break out into laughter. Wow what a way to be known

“Yup thats me. And you're the one who brought the cops into it.” I replied shaking me head a bit shamefully as I recalled the vine reference.

She put her phone into the pocket of her dress- how come I don’t have dress pockets? I’m going to be talking to my maids about this as a suggestion. “Yes, and my dad was the police apparently.” She replied as she walked over to me. “What are you up to here?” She asked.

“Making chocolates. I'm planning a date with your brother, might as well show off my best skill.” I chuckled a bit at my joke before asking if she’d like to try some.

She snorted, “This is your best skill? Chocolate making?”

“100% name something that could be better. Hearing? Being able to speak?” I scoffed, “no way. I can create the best thing ever.”

She laughed, “I don't think hearing is a skill.”

“Tell that to a deaf person. Hmm I guess I would still rather be able to make chocolate than know how to say the alphabet backwards. That's a skill.”

“Okay, that might be harder than it sounds. But isn’t it more of a “memorize it and you’ll get it” type of thing?”

“Hmm I suppose so so that really isn't a skill either. Maybe skiing? I'd rather be able to make chocolate than skii?”

“...well, skiing is a sport, but you could be skillful at it.” She said as she reached for a chocolate. “What about painting? That’s a skill.” She added.

“Well some people aren't necessarily skilled from the get go at painting, they've just learned over the years so is that a skill?”

“Once you learn how to do it correctly, I think you can call it that... maybe we need to look up what defines a skill in the dictionary though. Oh, wait!” She said and pulled out her phone to start to research. “Skill. Noun. The ability to do something well; expertise. The second option just says it’s a particular ability.”

“So if you paint or skii well then that would be considered a skill.” I replied.

She nodded and put her phone back in her pocket, “I do agree chocolate making sounds more handful than skiing. At least if you live in Angeles.”

“See, so it really is my best skill. I mean ignoring the fact that I play 8 sports.” Well that just sounds braggy, Gabby.

She raised an eyebrow, “I see someone was a high school jock.”

I chuckled, “More like was a jock from the womb. Do you play anything?”

“Taekwondo. And ballet if you want to count it as a sport. My list is sadly not as impressive as yours must be.”

“Ballet is 100% a sport. And yours are more difficult than mine. I just do things like surfing and running and tennis. Not nearly as difficult in my mind.”

She smiled, “Thanks. I guess you only get points for versatility. I actually know how to play tennis too though. Its just... not /my sport/, if you know what I mean.”

“I get what you mean. I play the 7 other but more of for fun and just as a pass time. Surfing is the one I'd say is /my sport/. How'd you get into the fighting and ballet?”

“I was always sprinting around the palace-” She paused for a moment to chuckle, “-so my parents didn't take long to suggest ballet. Taekwando was more of my decision though. They were a little surprised when I asked them to let me join a class for it a year later. Maybe I watched too many action movies with my siblings...but when one day, dad came back from one of his most recent trips to New Asia with a videoclip of a performance of skills he got to see, I just said I wanted to learn how to do that.”

“Well at least if there's ever intruders in the palace you can kick their asses.”

“Another reason I gave to start Taekwondo. I’m glad they let me do it in the end.”

“I enjoy it.” She added.

“You should teach me sometime. I haven't tried one of those fighting things before.”

“You mean martial arts?” She asked with a smirks. “I must admit, I'm probably not the best teacher.”

“Yup, and probably better than what I would learn from a youtube video in my room.” I chuckled since I’d likely do that later anyways, I like learning new things especially new sports.

She laughed as well, “I guess in comparison I would be better. It takes years to actually do it well though, you are aware?”

“Yup. Like a lot of sports. I suck at biking still since that was a recent addition. Though I didn't actually get to compete in a biking contest I applied for, thanks selection timing, so I guess it's more of a hobby.”

She chuckled, “You were going to participate in a biking competition before this?”

“Yup. It looked fun. I tried to get my friend to do it with me but sadly she said no. As a freeloader for an occupation I have a lot of freetime to do things like that.” I said as I finished mixing the strawberry filling.

“Wanna try some of the strawberry filling?” I offered.

She nodded and looked at the contents of the bowl, “I expect these to be top notch chocolates just so you know.”

I chuckled, “I'd lower your expectations a few. I haven't made them in awhile and I can't test them myself since I'm allergic to strawberries and there's actual strawberry in it.”

“How can you make something you're allergic too? Isn’t that just tempting yourself?”

“well as long as I don't eat them I'm fine. And it is tempting, very. But not having flavors and just the different types of chocolates would be boring.”

“How can you tell if they're good without someone helping you though?”

“Hmmm well I haven't actually made them on my own before. I've only made chocolates 3 times before and each of them Emma was helping. I was planning on asking a maid or someone to taste test.”

“Good thing I am here.” She then frowned slightly, “This doesn't count as a skill anymore, however. You've only done this 3 times.”

That’s fair, “Does it count as a talent if it's really good chocolate?”

“Hmm, I guess talent could be it.” She then extended her hand, “I'll be the judge of that.”

I handed her a chocolate, “Time for the intensity.” I said referring to the intense moment of being unsure if the chocolate was good or not and waiting the response of Hazel.

She chewed it for a moment before covering her mouth and replying, “It’s good!”

I gave a small fish pump, “Yes still a chocolate genius!” I cheered.

She laughed and swallowed, “What are you even making these again?”

“For your brother. We're doing a sandcastle building contest so I thought food would go well with it.”

“Um... chocolate at the beach? With sand? I’m not sure if that’ll work out..” That’s what bins are for.

“I'll bring a box to put them in and a cooler container. I do beach picnics a lot at home since I live right by one.”

“Ah, you’re an expert, I see. I’ll trust your word for it...Can I have another one?” She asked.

These Schreaves seem to really like chocolate. “Sure thing.” I replied and gave her another. “also have dark, milk, and white in the fridge. Next I'm starting the last flavor which is caramel.”

“White?” She asked as her eyes quickly darted to the fridge, she must like white chocolate best. “When's that gonna be ready…?” She asked.

I couldn’t help but to laugh a bit at her eagerness. “A big fan of white chocolate I assume. They should be hard enough to try at this point.”

She practically skipped over to the fridge and placed her clasped hands behind her, rocking on her heels as she waited for me to get them out. Her eagerness reminded me a bit of Eliana. Though Ellie was 8 she was the same way when it came to sweets as Hazel seemed to be. Hazel probably is still just a kiddo at heart too.

I chuckled a bit and walked over and took the tray of white chocolates out, “You can take some with you if you'd like.”

“Don't mind if I do.” She replied happily then went around to get a small container to gather the chocolates in, “I'll just steal some of these and let you continue with your work.”

I chuckled a bit, “It's not really stealing if I gave you permission. So why did you come down here anyways?”

“Oh, I was just hoping to see--” She paused and seemed to decide that wasn’t how she wanted to say it. “see um, if the ratatouille Chef Gusteau is making will be ready soon.” I was couldn’t hold my laughter in at that.

“You have a chef named Gusteau who makes ratatouille?”

“He makes a lot of stuff, but his ratatouille is-” She made an Italian hand and kissed it, “pen-dropping.” She paused as she seemed to realize her mistake, “Let's pretend ratatouille is Italian.” for a second.

“Absolutely perfect-o. Hon hon hon.” I replied going along with the italian french confusion.

She laughed a bit, “Yes, after checking up on that I need to go get ready for my ballet class.”

“I'm sure you'll dance well with all those chocolates powering you though caloric energy. Just make sure to save room for your ratatouille.”

She closed her bin of chocolates and smirked, “Hopefully my sweet tooth won't beat me today.” Ah so other days it does beat her?

I chuckled, “Good luck with that, kiddo.”

She waved as she began to walk off, “Thanks for the chocolates!”

“You're welcome, have fun dancing!” I replied as she left and I returned to my chocolate making.

[billietomoxx-blog]

Clowning

CLOWNING- So what’s the purpose of clowning? the idea of clowning was to bring out the inner child, release any thought of doubt and authentically get things wrong and be ok with that, its being vulnerable within your self. strange because most acting we do, everything needs to be filtered and right, but no clowning is less serious and more playful. Thats why we relate it to being a young child again, we were less bothered about who's watching and imagination took us away, we would play the silliest games with our friends and create our own, no rule world. Then i guess as we grow up, all those natural abilities, were taking from us, as we had responsibility and a life of our own which indeed we had to take serious, so i guess clowning is learning to take all those layers away and express it authentically to the audience, i mean its the opposite of a perfectionist, like myself so i knew id struggle however learn a great deal about myself as a individual actress, which is needed for my growth. 

SKILLS AND TECHNIQUES WHICH WE LEARNT- The lessons on clowning, were very fun and exciting and also interesting. We play games which helped us bring out our child like side and encountered fun and being playful the correct word for this is LE JEU, for example the games which we played were, grannies foot steps, funny nun, Crocodile, and my favorite one was this very interesting game were we would have to listen to the banging drum and react, with real emotion and clock that we had been caught, then we’d play ball with another person and show our inner clown, by TAKING RISKS, which was another key factor of clowning and then being able to CLOCK and take a look at the audience with the correct timing. To help us comprehend this more, tutor Josh made us play a simple game of walking down and to CLOCK the audience at the correct time, i found this easy and fun to do. Yet i found i struggled at the Funny nun game, as it helps show the humor you have which each person playing the game, the whole point of the game is to catch someone laughing who you look at and say ‘Its a very sad and sorrow day isn't it’ yet you have to reply and not smile nor laugh, its serious game, the other person gets to be goofy and fun to catch the other person out. I struggled as i laughed at times i shouldn't of due o everyones humor being different of course, and comprehending the unique relationship which everyone in the class, who ever has the best humor together, is more likely going to performing clowning better. The next game was intense, you and your partner standing very close face to face, saying nothing just staring in each others eyes and if one of you even smiles of laugh, then a slap is acceptable for any slip ups, i found myself to be very good at this as i had a lot of intense focus and concentration, et this game depends on the relationship with the other person as this also effect whether you are more likely to laugh or not. I found that when i was with Morgan, i was concentrated fully due to our connection, however when i was with Billy boy it all changed, we were a lot more likely to slip as we have a great fun bond together so it all comes down to the humor connection.

After games where played, this is were practice started and we had a series of noses which in this case were our masks, the first game was pick up a nose and walk into the room and stay still and silent and literally do nothing, i struggled with this one as am very hype and extroverted naturally, so bringing it back was hard as talking and moving about is my usual and how i openly express myself, yet i forgot when wearing mask where now in character, so i should of focused on that more, i learnt that i’m not so confident with doing the opposite of myself with is nothing as am mostly doing everything. The next game we did was telling jokes with one of the noses on, which i found funny to myself, this helps with finding out your true inner clown, which the audience are connected and entertained too. I then found my inner clown was serious and very sensitive, as this is complete opposite of who i am in general. which is why its usually funnier. The next game was to go out the room while students and teacher pick how many items and guide you by saying responding to hot as clapping and not hot by silence, the items they choose you have to figure out what to do with them and the further along the harder it gets. I found this very hard as the audience barely gives you clues or hints and it literally could mean anything, i took the game too seriously which made it way less funny then it could of been, instead i should of enjoyed the journey but as my tutor said i made it into more of a drama. The aim of the game was to play with the audience and do things wrong but enjoy that and take your time to figure it out in your own way.

TEACHERS OF CLOWNING-

Marcel Marceau was a French actor and mime artist most famous for his stage persona as "Bip the Clown". He referred to mime as the "art of silence", and he performed professionally worldwide for over 60 years. This is one of the teachers we looked at for clowning, then there was Decroux the inventor of corporeal mime, he is the first to formalize his art for his teaching, he teach his students to keep their face covered and learn to convey every emotion through their body. As for Marcel he invents a character who combines chaplin movements with the look of harelquin. 

So in lesson, we learnt about Marcel and his mime techniques as these can be very useful for clowning, we practiced games such as being stuck in the box and it’s to do with timing and body structure, this helped us gain an idea of how realistic a certain movement can make you look, i found it pretty easy to do, i think it was just the timing. The next game was pretending someone was on the other end of the rope and trying to pull it up, i found this pretty easy too as i managed to make it look real as i had the correct facial expressions,timing and energy.

CLOWNING FEEDBACK

So my first idea of clowning that i came up with was ‘Being a baby’, i had partnered up with Kenzo at first the idea was exicting and then throughout Kenzo lost motivation and wasnt exicted to work on it with me, which slightly put me off. I decided to dress up as a baby with Kenzo and be in a Play centre, so i bought some dummies and bottles to make it look effective and dress up in kids clothing. The first time we performed, it wasnt really practised we pretty much just improved the whole thing, we just has to found out what type of clown we both were. I found i was and angry and sensitive clown, whereas Kenzo was a sarcastic and bully clown, this worked well as it needs to be like cat and mouse or boss and auguste, shown in a unique way in order to capture the audience eyes. We wrote down a small draft plan to work off and showed the class, it was very funny at first and ideas where floating out,the joshs feedback was saying it  could really work as we was getting laughs out of it , then he said for me to loose the accent so its better and the water as it makes a mess, Kenzo feedback was to play with it more and have fun also doing so. Yet overall the performance was good fun and laughable, then i noticed the more i did it the less funny it got, so i had to switch up with more ideas yet keeping it simple, i tried adding music and it worked for a while, then it kind of lost focus. Personally i found clowning quite difficult either because of how complex my ideas where or the person i was working with, as there was only some Le jeu now and then. I think i needed to focus more on enjoying it too, keeping up the excitement of the piece as this plays a big part when performing it. The final performance actually went better than expected as we added a few more extra parts towards the end which made it a success, however it could of been better if it had a strong idea of the beginning to the end and was kept more fun and risk taking, as i felt it was a little bit safe.

CONCLUSION-

If you're aware of your clowning or your comedy, then the audience starts to become aware that you're aware, and it starts to become a bit smart. This is what stand-up comedians are very good at doing, laughing at their own jokes, and presenting the idea that we live in a comic world, whereas actors have to play characters from the character's point of view, and those characters don't view themselves as being caught in a comic situation. It's actually often the opposite: the characters are in desperate situations and take desperate measures that become funny in themselves. One of the things that clowning requires, as opposed to perhaps drama, is a very strong connection with the audience; you really have to be in tune with the people who are watching you and you have to listen to them very carefully to know how to gauge how far to take things, and then play off this reaction. One of the things I've always found most interesting about 'edgy' clowning is the word edge, meaning the edge of the stage where you have one foot in the audience and one foot in the story and you ride dangerously close to living out of the story and giving the audience what they want, but also being reigned in by the discipline of what you have to do within the story. It is an edge because if you give the audience too much, then you don't have respect for the story, but if you give them too little then you're not playing with them enough. There's a fine edge where a character can be in the middle of something, but the audience's response can draw him out to them. There are two very distinct sorts of clowning: white clowning and black clowning. The white clown is very good at clowning, very good at mime and at generating laughter with an audience and playing with them. The black clown is the anti-clown, and he mocks mime and the idea of needing an audience, and questions how perverse he can be but still get the audience's laughter. He might mime grabbing a female from the audience, putting her on stage and undressing her and then doing the job on her and smacking her on the bum, which sounds ridiculous but the audience is in a state of laughter, so he looks for how he can take it further, to find what they won't laugh at. From this point he puts it back to the audience and basically says that if you are going to laugh at me and find some value in me, then don't try to change me. 

CONSENT with andy-

Taz what is taz?

They deliver one to one sessions, group work, open access, outdoor education, Youth Council and detached youth work sessions. To help keep the youth safe, well educated and able to trust the council at all times, especially emergency.  

We needed to make a drama piece which involves consent which means giving permission, for a certain thing. So the clients from TAZ introduced us with this, and told us we need to make a performance that involves CONSENT and we can perform this is any way as long as it adds every important detail in there and we deliver it in a way that our target audience eg; high school students 13-14 can comprehend, normally small amounts of humor will keep the audience interested, and they will definitely remember it which is good. We figured out a strategy to help us work up with this, which was to do a dance scene at the start about the boy with his girlfriend at his party, shows them dancing together and him getting pressured by his friends to sleep with her and she was getting pressured to drink, this would help us tap into the common social areas were people mostly crack and are more likely to give in as most young people now a days are influenced to drink, so using a common scenario will have more of a impact as it’s really realistic. Further on through the scene she’d get more drunk and be way more vulnerable and he would had given into his friends pressuring him and done the deed without CONSENT and this is where consent is then introduced within a social situation, then the dance would be repeated to the end, so the audience are introduced to it at the start and then it makes sense at the end. My role was to be one of the friends who pressured the boy to have the party and helped him talk to his girlfriend with the right thing to say, helps to show how much pressure the guy was under and it can be really relatable to young people shows the situation had led out of control all over one thing and it seems to be building up and getting worse. After the dance scene he gets mocked on the bus by his friends once again for being a virgin, so this part really highlight he feels worried of being judged and is upset of it happening so somehow feels like the only way to fit in to be socially accepted by his so called friends is by having sex, so then he takes his girlfriend for a meal and meets up with his friend, who were still of course questioning him about his girlfriend and wondering if he had still slept with her, this scene was important as it was the most triggered scene to the point where they almost fight as he was insulted when his friend called him a queer because he didn’t have sex, this the leads him to doing something he really didn’t feel like he wanted to do, yet left with no choice as he felt that odd as although he didn’t fit in, so he decides to prove himself as his friend offers to throw a party for him to loose his virginity too and he agrees but does his girlfriend? This was the sad part yet it involves the matter of consent and how serious of a matter it is, the girlfriend didn’t give consent especially considering she was under the influence of alcohol which makes conditions a lot worse, so the boy continued to peruse her through the night as his friends helped her get more and more drunk to the point where she’s not aware of her surroundings, making it a lot easy for the bad deed to be done, showing us no consent was confirmed leaving her in a very vunerable state, which helps shows awareness in the area of young people drinking alcohol and what it can lead to, I think we brought up more than one issue within consent which would also have a serious impact on people when they watched it. I think the consent piece was really good and effective as the little things such as the text sound effect catched the audience eyes and made them laugh, and the way the dance with the boy and his girlfriend was repetitive it stood out a lot more, stuck with the students. Then toward the end it helped unravel what consent was when the people spoke up on it, as it mentioned the cup of tea which was a great metaphor for people to comprehend it better. I noticed the music was suited for every scene and made it more interesting to watch, as it played a part.

When performing in schools, we noticed the first school was very echoey and it was overlapping sounds from one another, i found personally it was too small to perform in and was quite cramped, so the schools conditions wasn't suitable for such a active physical piece. However it was performed well, other than for going way too fast then it should of been, it was performed well, the only issue was the environment. To make it better we should of had a bigger stage, and found a way to deliver the bed scene so the audience at the back could also see the performance as it was done on the floor and usually they don’t sit on chairs in assembly, you’d just sit on the floor, that helps us adapt for next time if we arrive at a similar situation. The Q&A at the end could of been directed better so that people could ask questions about the characters and their situations that they were in, to get a better understanding.

AUDITIONS-

I had to find a monologue that fitted to me as a person and showed off my best potential, so i asked Andy to help me find a emotional piece, as that’s my strongest point when doing monologues so i found a Scouse play called Unpleasant and i was reading ALI, this was my contemporary piece, for my place in London drama school i would need 1 contemporary and 1 classical piece, so next was my search for a classical piece, this is where i found Ophelia by shakesphere, i found this difficult as i don’t know much about his work, and not done my research on him, so to really comprehend i need to read the text again an again to see the true meaning of the monologue. I performed the contemporary one first, my given feedback was to loose the legs on the table as it’s not needed for the character and it gives odd confusion for character, i got told i need to in tune with the character more and do less pauses, yet my problem was not learning the lines as that’s where the pauses came from. The pauses interrupted my character energy and flow, just when its getting exciting, i pause, however what i did good on was my anger on certain parts which involved in to make it look effective, my character which i played also suited me a lot as i was able to execute the right emotions at times, and the contrast of emotion were shown correctly. So i needed to learn the whole of my monologue to avoid that mistake, next was my classical monologue piece which i found difficult as for most of it, i didn’t over-stand the correct meaning of the piece and the words nor timing, the audience and Andy picked up on this, so may be i need to be spending more time on translating it in English so it makes sense and then am able to deliver it in a more authentic way.  I think i needed to take more time to get the character right too, these little adjustments will make a big improvement.

The feedback we got given off Andy and the students, where effective as it lets us see from and outer perspective, and then when we realise where we go wrong, we can improve from that and get even better, so i think this really helps. We can see the good things and the bad things that needs to be worked on more, and then we get to perform it again for sure to show how much we’ve improved. We also get told whether our work is put down as a Pass,Merit, or Distinction, and its interesting to know why? from the teacher and students.

[akakailisiandrago-blog]

Expression

ex·pres·sionikˈspreSHən/

noun

noun:

expression

; plural noun:

expressions

1.the process of making known one's thoughts or feelings."his views found expression in his moral sermons"synonyms:utterance, uttering, voicing, pronouncement, declaration, articulation, assertion, setting forth; More

2.the look on someone's face that conveys a particular emotion."a sad expression"synonyms:look, appearance, air, manner, countenance, mien"an expression of harassed fatigue"

3.a word or phrase, especially an idiomatic one, used to convey an idea."nowhere is the expression “garbage in, garbage out” any truer"synonyms:idiom, phrase, idiomatic expression; More

4.the production of something, especially by pressing or squeezing it out."essential oils obtained by distillation or expression"synonyms:squeezing, pressing, extraction, extracting"essential oils obtained by expression"

5.GENETICSthe appearance in a phenotype of a characteristic or effect attributed to a particular gene.

the conveying of feeling in the face or voice, in a work of art, or in the performance of a piece of music."eyes empty of expression"synonyms:emotion, feeling, spirit, passion, intensity; More

MATHEMATICSa collection of symbols that jointly express a quantity."the expression for the circumference of a circle is 2πr"

the process by which possession of a gene leads to the appearance in the phenotype of the corresponding character.noun: gene expression; plural noun: gene expressions

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A word that has made itself known to me for the last 6 weeks.... the word EXPRESSION is quite elaborately expressing itself in my life lately.

First it was a sore throat. For weeks. At first I thought it was, well, just a sore throat. Maybe too much gym? Too much drinking? Too much hanging around other sick people?

I tried everything. It would go away, temporarily, and then come back. I dont think I was sick sick, just this, sore throat.  I started to question it. And then my friend Krista and I pulled some healer angel guide cards and the one I got that day was suffering. It was a warning to be careful. But that whatever hurt, pain and suffering I might feel physically, could lead me to recluse in order to heal. 

I told her about my sore throat and then said, maybe it was a Throat Chakra blockage. Only half kidding. And then I looked it up....

“ Throat Chakra Blockage

A blocked throat chakra can significantly impact your ability to communicate effectively for fear of ridicule and judgement. A throat chakra blockage can also manifest as the inability to express and realize your truth in the world. When the fifth chakra is open and balanced, you are able to express yourself clearly and honestly in any situation with confidence. Common Signs of Throat Chakra Blockage: You may find yourself unable to speak your truth when you need it the most, or holding back on expressing your needs and desires. Perhaps, you long for realizing your dreams and living with a strong and clear purpose, but seem to not be able to quite get there. These are common signs that your throat chakra  does not function at its optimal level.

When the throat chakra is blocked or otherwise imbalanced, energy flow is hindered and can lead to physical symptoms affecting the head, mouth, throat, and neck. It is not uncommon to experience neck pain, headaches, hoarseness, and sore throat when the flow of energy through the throat chakra is disrupted.

Some common physical symptoms of blockage include:

chronic sore throat

frequent headaches

dental issues

mouth ulcers

hoarseness

thyroid problems

laryngitis

Temporomandibular disorders of the jaw (commonly known as TMJ)

neck pain

Consequently, the blockage can also impact your physical health. When you experience such signs of physical discomfort, healing practices focusing on the upper body area, in particular your neck and shoulders, can bring relief and allow energy to move more freely. Of course, for serious and recurring symptoms, please consult a physician whom you trust.

Emotional Signs of Throat Chakra Blockage

When the throat chakra is imbalanced, the blockage can also manifest through non-physical symptoms that may impact you at various levels from psychological and emotional, to psychically and spiritually.

Non-physical signs of blockage can be more prevalent. Among the more commons signs are:

fear of speaking

inability to express thoughts

shyness

inconsistency in speech and actions

social anxiety

inhibited creativity

stubbornness

detachment

For instance, perpetuated blockages that are fairly significant can cause one to become arrogant, deceptive, domineering, or manipulative. On the contrary, energy that flows freely through the throat chakra promotes effective, truthful communication. You are able to “find you.” You are confident, responsible, and can easily find the right words to express your thoughts.

A blockage of the throat chakra can cause you to become stoic, quiet, and fearful. The imbalance may also create feelings of anxiety, insecurity, and shyness when it comes to self-expression and speaking to others. Public speaking can cause near paralysis when the issue is a blocked fifth chakra.

An imbalance in the throat chakra can adversely affect many aspects of your personal and professional life. You may find you avoid social situations and are more comfortable alone. You may even become distrustful of your inner voice.

What To Do About A Blocked Throat Chakra

Clearing the throat chakra involves learning to let go and trusting your inner voice. Not a small task for a lot of us! Check out the general guidelines for throat chakra healing for practical ideas on how to restore balance in this center.

A few basic steps to clear this chakras include:

Working through and releasing all negative emotions, including guilt, hurt, and resentment can work wonders to restore energy balance in the throat chakra. Sometimes a good cry can also help alleviate a blockage of the fifth chakra.

Practicing mindful speech, action, and deeds can help you maintain throat chakra balance. For example, talk openly and honestly with others on a regular basis.

Meditating on and incorporating the throat chakra’s color, blue, into your life can also calm emotional upheaval. For instance, introduce blue-colored flowers or decor to your home environment. 

http://www.chakras.info/throat-chakra-blockage/

All of this was totally relational to me. I felt right at home in that damn webpage. I had the AH HA! moment even. But then the question was, how the HELL DO I MAKE IT ALL STOP! How do I FIX THIS?

Krista’s gave me some crystals that seemed to help....

But there was more, there still IS more. SO much more. 

My first day in Sydney I found myself drawn into the ONE stone/crystal/psychic tarot card reader shop in all of the WestField Mall. And if you know anything about Westfield malls.... in Sydney, then you know what I mean. Not long into mosey-ing around the store I felt myself drawn to aquamarine - I mean, I knew it was my birthstone, but I read the card and felt like it was the one. So I grabbed three raw stones all of beautiful symmetric shapes. Mosey-ed around a little more and came up to the counter. Teagon - the young woman working - grabbed this smooth, round stone that had a hole carved into it. Beautiful light blue with darker blue waves, like the ocean. She said - Here, hold this up to your throat for a moment. - So I did. I felt a rush of emotion move through me. But it started in the lump of my throat that burst into tears after asking her why she felt I needed that stone there. Her reply - I felt some type of blockage there, something about your expression....  Blue lace agate, this stone, is very good for clearing that. ---

And that was it, just like a tidal wave, I burst into tears. She just hugged me. I think she does that kind of thing on the daily. She doesnt need to know if she is right or wrong. Shes just there, dressed in all white, like a perfect messenger angel. 

Left that mall with all I needed.

Later I decided to look up the deeper meanings of aquamarine. Low and behold - the ultimate throat chakra healing stone. Who would have thought! I guess im pretty in tune with what I need too. ;-) But.. was this giong to fix all my “expression/throat chakra blockage/public speaking/need to be heard problems”?

Since then, the term expression for me has come up several more times.

Ill have to add in all the details later. But fast forward to tonight.

Here I am, in Bali, and a friend I have been feeling the need to connect with, walks right into the same restaurant where I am eating. Just like that. Granted I knew he was in Bali, but I did NOT tell him where I was eating. We get to talking, and through everything said, the final answer is that our purpose in life is to express ourselves. That is the GOD CREATION and CREATOR. He said he realized this through his own struggle with expression. And then I realized later tonight, after I got home, that it wasn’t about the answer, or the fact that he had been there. It was exactly what he said when he first sat down... That he was there for me. He was meant to be there for me. 

So what - What with all of this. Well, funny thing is. I still dont know. I am not quite sure where I belong, where I fit in, if i fit in at all or if im even meant to, but right now, thats ok and I dont need a clear answer. I think the path has made itself know and its all about EXPRESSION. 

And so.... Here I go....

[viralhottopics]

Viola Davis: Im pretty fabulous

Her extraordinary performance in the upcoming Fences has seen Viola Davis tipped for an Oscar. But her success has taken a huge amount of self-belief. She tells Alex Clark why it is only through demanding respect that you get the parts you are due

Its the run-up to Christmas and everybody in Los Angeles, which to a Brit feels unseasonably sun-drenched, is bemoaning the chilly weather; as we settle down in the Beverly Hills hotel, Viola Davis draws a warm jacket around her shoulders. Not that shes complaining: throughout our conversation, she is determinedly upbeat, celebratory, optimistic. She radiates a sense of excitement and satisfaction that, at 51, all the hard work is really beginning to pay off.

Five years ago, when Davis was playing the role of the maid Aibileen in The Help, for which she was nominated for an Academy Award, she told me that, as a dark-skinned actress in Hollywood, she had done what it was at my hand to do, even if that didnt give her as much scope for her talents and energies as she would have liked. Ive had to sink my teeth into a role that was probably a fried-chicken dinner and make it into a filet mignon.

Now, with film roles coming out of her ears, the lead in the TV drama How To Get Away with Murder and her own production company, she is opposite Denzel Washington in the film adaptation of August Wilsons Pulitzer prize-winning play Fences. (After our meeting, she begins 2017 by winning a Golden Globe for her performance, saying in her acceptance speech that the film Doesnt scream moneymaker, but it does scream art and it does scream heart.) Surely the role of Rose Maxson is a filet mignon.

She bursts out laughing. This is absolutely a filet mignon a medium-well filet mignon. And Davis clearly relishes every bite: her performance as a wife and mother in 1950s Pittsburgh, struggling at every turn to hold her family together, to absorb the rage and disappointment of her husband Troy and to protect her sons innocence and ambition, is electrifying so involving that it invokes an almost physical response. We watch as Rose is beguiled and charmed by the charismatic, storytelling Troy, unable to chide him for his excesses without dissolving into mirth, and as she seeks to intercede on others behalves to limit the damage his temper and pride cause. It takes almost the whole film, however, for Rose to voice her own feelings and desires.

That was the role of womanhood in the 50s, says Davis. You were an instrument for everyone elses joy except for your own. The 50s in America had the highest rate of alcoholism and depression. There were whole manuals out there that were being passed out about how to make your husband happy put on make-up when he walks through the door, after a long day of work, dont weigh him down with any of your problems, ask him about his problems, greet him with a smile, make sure the children are fed and theyre clean, his favourite meal is on the table, and nowhere in that manual is anything about her joy, and the centre of her happiness.

She has been here before, and with Washington; they are reprising the roles they played in the 2010 Broadway revival of the play, for which they both won Tony awards; and they are rejoined by Russell Hornsby and Mykelti Williamson as Troys son and brother respectively. Part of Wilsons 10-play Century Cycle, in which the playwright chronicled the experiences of African Americans decade by decade, Fences transition on to the big screen has taken so long because its author, who died in 2005, insisted that its director be black a simple demand revealingly hard to accomplish in Hollywood.

Now, Washington himself directs, and his key artistic choice is apparent the moment the film begins: he has preserved the works theatrical origins, with nearly all the action taking place in a confined domestic space, and dialogue ranging from quick-fire ensemble scenes to extended soliloquies. The effect is disconcerting we rarely see such unfiltered staginess on film but always riveting; there is not an inch of slack, a word wasted.

Davis herself has two show-stopping speeches, in which she first rails at life and at last attempts to make her peace with it. What was different about playing Rose this time around? She replies that she had been sitting with this narrative for so long and never quite got the ending until I did the movie. And I keep saying to myself that the reason I didnt get the end is because she is at a place that probably most of us as human beings never get to, and that is a place of forgiveness and grace. I think that most of us spend a lifetime holding on to the past, even when we feel like were letting go a bit.

Maid in Hollywood: a scene from The Help with Viola Davis as Aibileen Clark, and Bryce Dallas Howard and Ahna O Reilly. Photograph: Dale Robinette/DreamWorks

She holds close to the advice of psychiatrist Irvin D Yalom that one must give up all hope of a better past. Davis herself grew up in extreme poverty; she has spoken powerfully about the series of makeshift dwellings she, her parents and five siblings occupied in Rhode Island, about hunger and lack of sanitation, about her fathers violent abuse of her mother. The letting go seems to take two distinct but related forms: allowing herself to feel good about what she has achieved, and building platforms that will help broaden the possibilities for a new generation of actors, writers and directors of colour.

She cites her delight at seeing Shonda Rhimes, the producer behind Greys Anatomy, Scandal and How To Get Away with Murder, accepting a Norman Lear achievement award in Television last year. She said: I happily accept this award because I deserve it. I LOVE IT. Absolutely love it. Its the waking up and understanding that OK, you may not be the best person out there, but youve put in enough work to understand that you deserve what youve got, that that is what is at the end of hard work. The happily ever after comes after youve done the work. And to literally understand, especially as a woman, that a closed mouth doesnt get fed, youve got to ask for what you want and expect to get it.

I remark that its noticeable how often women play down their successes; how they will even deflect minor compliments on appearance. Why does she think that happens? I think tapping into ones power and ones potential is a very frightening thing, she replies. And for women its a very new thing. It is. I always used to feel that self-deprecation was an answer to humility that people would see me as a humble person the more I put myself down. And people do say that: Oh! I ran into so-and-so and they kept saying, Oh, my work in this really sucked, and they were great! I just thought it was so refreshing that they said that! And I often think to myself, what if someone says, You know what, Im confident, Im really happy about the work I did. I really felt like I gave it my best and it came out great, the same way men do. Why is that not seen as humble?

Motherhood has given me a different telescope to look at life: with husband Julius Tennon. Photograph: Tibrina Hobson/Getty Images

Her increasing ability to feel comfortable with her achievements is linked to an awareness of her emerging position as a figure of influence. The more Im pushed in a position of leadership and I know I have to be the mouthpiece for so many other people who cant speak for themselves, the more confidence Im gaining. And that extends to the way she views her own past and the more she shares her story. She explains: I can hear myself say, Oh yeah, I took the bus five hours just to get to the theatre, then took it five hours back, and Im listening to that, Im being an objective observer, and thinking to myself I did that? Its like looking at an old picture of yourself when you felt like you looked bad, and you go, Wow, I was fabulous! Thats how I feel about my life now that Im looking back at it, and Im like, Im pretty fabulous. I really am. Im pretty fabulous.

Back in 2011, when we talked about Daviss commitment largely via JuVee, the production company she founded with her husband, Julius Tennon to addressing the limited opportunities afforded people of colour by the entertainment industry, she expressed her hope we wouldnt be having the same conversation in five years time. Naturally, because challenging entrenched privilege takes time, we are, but it has shifted ground. Davis herself is scheduled to play the part of Harriet Tubman, who liberated slaves in the Civil War era, and to star in Steve McQueens Widows, a revisiting of Lynda LaPlantes TV series co-scripted by Gone Girls Gillian Flynn. Its not even a role that would be necessarily written for an African American, but not according to him. Hes like: Why not?

Davis brings up The Help, and says that although she loved making the film, she understands the criticisms levelled at it that women of colour were once again placed in the role of maids, and not portrayed as tapping into their anger as much as they could have. Tapping into all the things they could have been other than the maid. Partly, she thinks, that relates to the image of the black maid as a nurturer, a second mother, so that even within the movie, there are certain things that are not going to be explored, if it somehow messes up the memory of what the audience had, that perfect mother. She couldnt be angry. She couldnt be sexualised. Shes gotta stay that image that brings us comfort and joy knowing that we were loved and nothing more than that.

Davis loves the riposte to that one-dimensional figure provided by the character of Annalise Keating, the firecracker law professor, ambitious, potent and flawed, that she plays in How To Get Away with Murder. Its blowing the lid off everything that people say we should be, especially as a dark-skinned woman, that you cant be sexual, you cant be unlikable, you can be angry but with no vulnerability, you cant be damaged, you cant be smart. It blows the lid off all of it. And even if its not executed all the time in ways that people like, it doesnt matter. What matters is that shes out there. Thats it. Shes out there, shes on screen, shes making an impact.

In the 1950s women were an instrument for everyone elses joy except their own: Viola Davis with Denzel Washington in a scene from Fences. Photograph: David Lee/AP

Another fundamental has changed in the past five years; in 2011, she and Tennon adopted a baby, Genesis, who is even as we speak frolicking in a nearby hotel room. When Davis and I are done, her babysitters release the six-year-old to bound along the corridor and leap into her mothers arms, asking whether she can go and buy a swimming costume in the hotel boutique and head for the pool. Her mother observes that in such a luxurious joint, its a purchase that could easily come to a couple of hundred dollars, but concedes that theyll work something out (you imagine somebody might be despatched to Gap).

Davis combines motherhood which she says has changed her utterly, and given her a different telescope through which to see life with work by clever stratagems and good planning; often taking Genesis with her, only making one film a year, having a TV shooting schedule that allows her days off and free weekends. She claims to live by two mantras Im tired, and Im doing the best I can but she doesnt look remotely weary. And things might be about to get a whole lot busier. She was the first African American to win the outstanding lead actress in a drama series Emmy award for her role as Annalise Keating; alongside numerous other awards, she has hitherto been nominated for two Oscars for The Help and Doubt. But now her role as Rose Maxson is being spoken about as a cert for nomination and a very strong contender to win her an Academy Award come February. Has she allowed herself to think about it? She pauses, laughs, parries.

You know what I know about that? Because I dont know if thats going to happen or not. But what I will say about this is, and this is how I keep my perspective, whatever happens, Ive gotta go back to work. The carpets are going to be rolled up, the people are going to stop calling like that, and Ive gotta go back to work. And you cant bring that Oscar on a set, and that Oscar cant do the work for you. You gotta do it. Thats what Ill say.

Fences is released on 10 February

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from Viola Davis: Im pretty fabulous