#the bane of my existence from 2009 to 2019 and i loved my brother and my little sister i loved seeing them but i don't regret the fact that | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

maddy-ferguson · 5 months

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my brother called me for christmas and i didn't recognize him because he has a deep voice now very much felt like killing myself when he said "this is [his name and my little sister's name] btw" at the end of the voicemail

#i was like is this a wrong number is this a prank because it's not particularly funny it's most likely a wrong number because i literally #don't know any random man who would be calling me for christmas #this is crazy #he's 12 and a half. 12 and 3/4 actually. so ig that tracks (yeah) but like #crazy #i haven't seen him or my little sister or my stepmother who isn't my stepmother anymore in 4 years because i HATED going to my dad's it was #the bane of my existence from 2009 to 2019 and i loved my brother and my little sister i loved seeing them but i don't regret the fact that #i stopped going even if it means i no longer have a relationship with them and only talk on our birthdays or i guess on christmas #like it does make me sad and when i considered not going anymore before i actually stopped i always thought about them and about how much i #loved them and i do miss them and hate the fact that idk we were only close for the first 8 years of my brother's life and 6 years of my #little sister's life but at the end of the day...it's like with my dad not having that substantial of a relationship with him (i see him a #few times a year for like a couple hours tops and like we talk but we don't TALK but we're not on bad terms we talk more now than we did #when i went to his house semi-regularly for the weekend) makes me sad but i can just. not think about it. and then i'm not sad lmao. like #yeah i'll have dreams about it (not as much as i used to) because it is a thing that is always going on with me but it's NOTHING compared #to what going there was like like i thought about it SO MUCH it made me SO MISERABLE and like actively miserable this is easier to deal #with. passively miserable. but not recognizing my brother's voice was crazy #i always call my little sister my little sister and i don't say that with my brother because i have another sister and she's ALSO my little #sister but not as little😭 like my sister: my sister who's 18 my little sister: my sister who's 10. my dad forbid us from saying half-#sibling🙏#and like i say: brf slt

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