#the ccc calling for disinterested friendship

[yourlocalcatholic]

What advice would you give to someone who really wants to be catholic but deeply disagrees with the church’s stance on LGBT people? I am afraid that if I go to church, people will say unaffirming things about me or my partner, or push me into conversion therapy.

Well, it’s not going to be easy.

When I started my conversion, I was not in line with what the Church believed about the LGBTQ+ community. In truth, I still struggle with it. 

Despite my previous stubbornness on LGBTQ+ issues, I kept my heart open to God and what the Church teaches. I didn’t ignore what the Catechism says, but instead learned to understand what it teaches and why. This allowed me to accept the Church’s stances on the LGBTQ+ community. 

Since the issues are different for gay and trans people, I’ll address them separately. 

Contrary to popular thought, being gay in and of itself is not a sin. However, acting on same sex attraction is. The Church understands that being gay is not a choice, but as a result of its inherent brokenness, people with SSA are called to celibacy. The Catechism of the Catholic Church says, “Homosexual persons are called to chastity. By the virtues of self-mastery that teach them inner freedom, at times by the support of disinterested friendship, by prayer and sacramental grace, they can and should gradually and resolutely approach Christian perfection” (CCC 2359). 

I know a lot of people would like if the Church permitted same sex marriages and relationships, but this simple cannot be so. As Christians, we are called to be faithful to Christ and the Church, to “observe all that I have commanded you” (Matthew 28:20) and that “if he refuses to listen even to the Church, let him be to you as a Gentile or a tax collector” (Matthew 18:17). Christ asked for us to live lives in accord with Church teaching and meeting the standard he set for us. We are not only called to reject our modernist, consumer culture glorifies, but to “be perfect” as our heavenly Father is perfect (Matthew 5:48). We are called to overcome the vices of vanity, pride, gluttony, greed, envy, lust, wrath, and sloth, while cultivating the virtues of detachment, humility, temperance, generosity, charity, chastity, patience, and fortitude.

This also means we cannot call a sin anything other than a sin. We cannot lower the Church’s standards to the culture’s level, calling abortion, remarriage (without an annulment) after a divorce, homosexual acts, or contraception anything other than violations of God’s law. For “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and for ever” (Hebrews 13:8). Claiming the Bible says something that it clearly does not say is projecting our own morality on God. In doing so, we say that God does not know what is best for us and that he does not know what he is doing. 

All of this can seem impossible. And without grace, it would be. Even with grace, we’ll often fall short. When we stumble we must repent, confess our sins, and come back to the Church. 

So... is the Church homophobic? No, it is not. Sadly, however, some people with the Church are. These kinds of people lack one of Christ’s fundamental truths to “not neglect to show hospitality to strangers” (Hebrews 13:2). We turn ourselves into hypocrites when we do not uphold the idea that are all welcome in the Church. 

Keep in mind, also, that just because “all are welcome” does not mean you can remain the same when you choose to become Christian. We are all ridden with sin, and we all have a cross to bear. But, by God’s mercy, we do not have to carry that cross alone. 

Neither to trans people. Like homosexuality, there is a lot misunderstood about how the Church views being transgender. 

For starters, the Church recognizes that every human person is created in the image and likeness of God (Genesis 1:26-27). EVERY person. Consequently, we must act in love towards our trans siblings and reprimand those who name-call, bully, or engage in any other uncharitable behavior toward them. As Christians, how we speak to one another, the language we use, the tone of our voice, and the respect our words and attitude convey determines whether our words are used to glorify God or to slander his children. 

Respecting our fellow children of God also means we use peoples’ preferred name and pronouns. It is not a matter of affirming the person’s decision to transition, but rather it serves no use to do otherwise. If you’re having a conversation with a trans person, that conversation will not last long if you deliberately choose to use a name or a set of pronouns that the person is not comfortable with. What do you hope to achieve by refusing? You are more than likely to lose the opportunity to give them a faithful witness through which Christ can soften their heart to receive and embrace the true Gospel.

This topic is more difficult to address, in part because there is no official policy regarding trans individuals in the Catechism of the Catholic Church.

The other reason is because the truth is... very difficult to hear. Admittedly, though I am not trans, I struggle to fully grasp it. Like SSA, like anything else inherently broken, it is difficult to hear the truth of our condition. But I’m not here to tell you what I think, because what I think (or have a tendency to think) is corrupt due to my sin. Therefore, I can only share with you what the Church teaches. Keep in mind, I accept what the Church teaches, despite how difficult it will be to hear, because if I didn’t, then why would I be Catholic? 

God doesn’t make mistakes. When he fashioned each of us in our mother’s womb, he did so with the care of an artist making his greatest masterpiece. He choose the things that make you uniquely you, and this includes our gender. If you feel like God made a mistake when you were created, then we don’t share the same definition of God. God is an all-powerful, all-knowing, and all-loving Father, so it is impossible for him to make mistakes because it would be contrary to his nature. God created you male or female for a reason.

But gender dysphoria, the condition of feeling one’s emotional and psychological identity as male or female to be opposite to one’s biological sex, is a very real condition and many people suffer greatly because of it. 

If your sex is a source of suffering in your life, God can be there with you to comfort you and help you through that suffering. He doesn’t promise to take away our sufferings and struggles, but He does promise to be there carrying our crosses alongside us.

Keep in mind that we are all called to holiness. For this reason, God may be asking you to grow in holiness by wrestling with trying to trust him that he doesn’t make mistakes and that he created you as male or female for a reason.

Now, you also expressed worry about people being uncharitable. Truth is, there are going to be uncharitable people. In my experience going to church, I have not encountered any. That said, I do not make my bisexuality known to the parishioners because I do not feel it is necessary. 

But if you do feel the need, talk to the parish priest about your worries. There are many priests who understand that God has called them to love everyone, not just the ones that can hide their crosses easier. So, speak with a priest - via email, phone call, or in person (whichever way you’re comfortable) - and express your interest in their parish. If they are God-fearing, they will work with you. 

I will be praying for you. God bless. 

[tradcatmaria]

Your position on gay rights?

Hello!

I am 100% with the Catholic Church. This is what she teaches:

CCC 2357 Homosexuality refers to relations between men or between women who experience an exclusive or predominant sexual attraction toward persons of the same sex. It has taken a great variety of forms through the centuries and in different cultures. Its psychological genesis remains largely unexplained. Basing itself on Sacred Scripture, which presents homosexual acts as acts of grave depravity, tradition has always declared that "homosexual acts are intrinsically disordered." They are contrary to the natural law. They close the sexual act to the gift of life. They do not proceed from a genuine affective and sexual complementarity. Under no circumstances can they be approved.

CCC 2358 The number of men and women who have deep-seated homosexual tendencies is not negligible. This inclination, which is objectively disordered, constitutes for most of them a trial. They must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided. These persons are called to fulfill God's will in their lives and, if they are Christians, to unite to the sacrifice of the Lord's Cross the difficulties they may encounter from their condition.

CCC 2359 Homosexual persons are called to chastity. By the virtues of self-mastery that teach them inner freedom, at times by the support of disinterested friendship, by prayer and sacramental grace, they can and should gradually and resolutely approach Christian perfection.

Same-sex “marriage” is not a right (You can read more about why it isn’t here). However, like all people, those who experience same-sex attraction are made in the image of God and we must defend them from bullying while still taking a stand for truth in our society.

This paragraph is really important, too, and applies to all Catholics, not just politicians.

“When legislation in favour of the recognition of homosexual unions is proposed for the first time in a legislative assembly, the Catholic law-maker has a moral duty to express his opposition clearly and publicly and to vote against it. To vote in favour of a law so harmful to the common good is gravely immoral.When legislation in favour of the recognition of homosexual unions is already in force, the Catholic politician must oppose it in the ways that are possible for him and make his opposition known; it is his duty to witness to the truth. If it is not possible to repeal such a law completely, the Catholic politician, recalling the indications contained in the Encyclical Letter Evangelium vitae, ‘could licitly support proposals aimed at limiting the harm done by such a law and at lessening its negative consequences at the level of general opinion and public morality’, on condition that his ‘absolute personal opposition’ to such laws was clear and well known and that the danger of scandal was avoided” (Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith).

I hope this helps! God bless!

Ad Jesum per Mariam,

María de Fátima

[tradcatmaria]

Being LGBTQIA+ isn't a sin. What is sinful is to deny your true self

Hello!

True peace, love, and happiness are only found in the will of God. We must carry our crosses and follow Him. This is what God and His Church have to say about this:

“So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them” (Genesis 1:27 RSVCE).

“Therefore a man leaves his father and his mother and cleaves to his wife, and they become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24 RSVCE).

To read more of what the Bible says about homosexual behavior, please see Genesis 19, Leviticus 20:13, Romans 1:27, 1 Corinthians 6:9, and 1 Timothy 1:9-10.

CCC 2357 Homosexuality refers to relations between men or between women who experience an exclusive or predominant sexual attraction toward persons of the same sex. It has taken a great variety of forms through the centuries and in different cultures. Its psychological genesis remains largely unexplained. Basing itself on Sacred Scripture, which presents homosexual acts as acts of grave depravity, tradition has always declared that "homosexual acts are intrinsically disordered." They are contrary to the natural law. They close the sexual act to the gift of life. They do not proceed from a genuine affective and sexual complementarity. Under no circumstances can they be approved.

2358 The number of men and women who have deep-seated homosexual tendencies is not negligible. This inclination, which is objectively disordered, constitutes for most of them a trial. They must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided. These persons are called to fulfill God's will in their lives and, if they are Christians, to unite to the sacrifice of the Lord's Cross the difficulties they may encounter from their condition.

2359 Homosexual persons are called to chastity. By the virtues of self-mastery that teach them inner freedom, at times by the support of disinterested friendship, by prayer and sacramental grace, they can and should gradually and resolutely approach Christian perfection.

Our sins and temptations are not our true selves. I am not my sin. I am not my temptations. I am a child of God.

God bless you!

Ad Jesum per Mariam,

María de Fátima