#the clowns are at it again folks | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

adelaidedrubman · 1 year

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johnjess + maximum mary may inconvenience

HI STELLA THANK YOU so. this technically maybe still counts for the prompt since probably about five sentences of it actually are nsfw. but it did in fact turn into a full fic of them being annoying so for that i am sorry to everyone, especially mary may (although she’s spared directly bearing witness to them today)

summary: john and jessie go for a joy ride.

wordcount: 2.5k

warnings: explicit sexual content, physical violence. not mutually exclusive, per usual they cannot decide if they want to beat the shit out of each other or fuck so they go back and forth. john busts in his pants as decided by the voters. widowmaker slander. mary may suffering implied.

It was a particularly tacky chess piece they currently warred over, Jestiny thought, even by his standards.

Certainly not worth all the pawns left bleeding out on the board as the two remaining players resorted to wrestling head-to-head for it.

From the migraine-inducing neon pink blending to blue gradient to the flames reaching out from the gaudy chrome plated grill to the proud design of a bald eagle screeching over stars and stripes decorating the sleeper cabin, well…

It was an extremely ugly truck.

“O-Oh, fuck me, I want —”

But he looked extremely pretty shoved against the side of it.

“I want you to hand over the goddamn keys to this piece of shit,” she grunted in interruption, willing herself to stay focused on the mission she’d set out to accomplish despite feeling just what he wanted very clearly along the front of his jeans as she thrust her hands into his pockets in search.

His chest heaved against hers as he drew in a breath to speak more sharply, as if suddenly reminded that he was being thrown against the side of a semi-trailer as part of an ongoing struggle between their respective militias over the vehicle and not simply for recreation. “Well, I want you to give up on these childish games and face the gravity of your — Oh, fuck —”

Despite the rekindled contempt he nonetheless hiked a leg up as if appeasing her demand, the rubber of his shoes squealing against metal siding followed closely behind by a jingle of keys falling easily from the baggy confines of his pocket, with no added tightness reaching the backside of his jeans.

She caught the keys in her palm, throwing them to the opposite hand then reaching up to grip the back of his thigh and hold it in place as she gave the keyring a spin around her finger — leaning in to press lips against those pursed in some limbo between spitting out insults and cooing honeyed pleas, kissing him slow and deep, as if she could literally savor the victory from it.

The irony of giving a victory kiss to the very man whose defeat she celebrated was not lost on her.

She gave a soft snort of laughter at the thought as she pulled back, playfully brushing her nose against his in parting before darting to the side to hop up the running board and throw the driver’s side door open.

As she climbed inside she couldn’t resist tossing her head back to catch a parting glimpse of the oh so satisfying look of incredulity fixing itself on John’s face, jaw dropped and brow pinched downward and eyes bulging as if in bewilderment that she would have the audacity to actually use the keys she’d spent so much effort wrestling him for.

He remembered his faculty for language first, his jaw twitching to speak. “I hope you enjoy just how excruciating the realization of the complete futility of your actions is going to be!” He remembered his faculty for movement next, darting forward to wedge his shoulder against the doorframe before she could pull it to shut. “That every sin you’ve committed has done nothing but deprive the righteous and deserving of —”

She kicked the door outward so as to pull it in again and slam it shut on his shoulder. “This is what you fuckin’ deserve!” She kicked his battered shoulder to send him tumbling to the ground. “And I hope that was fuckin’ excruciating!”

She slammed the door shut as she turned the key in the ignition and waited for the truck to slowly rumble to life.

She paused a moment before reaching for the gearshift, instead throwing her hand to the left to crank the window down. She leaned her head out of the window, glancing down at him one last time.

She also had to admit he looked very pretty bruised up and bloodied and on his knees, trembling arms grasping in a feeble effort to crawl his way up the side of The Widowmaker.

She licked her lips, hanging her arm out the window to slap her palm against the side of the door before raising the hand in an exaggerated wave of ‘goodbye.’

“Happy fucking trails, John!” she called through the window, shoving the gear into drive and ramming her boot down onto the gas. “I’m hauling out!”

A blur of dark blue shot across her periphery as the truck slowly crept forward, quickly materializing as freckled and black inked arms flung over the ledge of the window just as the vehicle slowly lurched forward past the opening garage door and rolled along the short gravel drive.

“I hope you don’t mind extra cargo!”

He dove through the window, flinging his body across her lap as he landed, just as the grill of the truck crashed through the chain link gates.

She clenched her fists against the wheel as she felt it slip unexpectedly to the right beneath her fingers, flexing her arms to resist the force of intruding hands jerking it in an effort to steer the truck away from the path back to town.

“You’re gonna end up as fucking roadkill!” she shouted as she yanked the wheel back towards the left with one hand, the other loosening its grip long enough for her to swing an elbow down to land between his shoulder blades and knock him to the floorboards. “Either from you crashing us and getting us killed or else from me bashing your fucking brains out on the pavement!”

“Oh, yes!” he cried with sarcastic enthusiasm, craning his neck to look up at her from his place landed at her feet. “There’s that wrath, that insatiable need for senseless destruction! That relentless bloodlust driving you to —” She thrust a hand downward to bunch in his hair, yanking him up by it to intercept the conspicuous creeping of his hand towards the brake pedal as he rose. “Oh, yes,” he repeated lower and more breathy as she tightened her grip, a rosy flush spreading along his cheeks and making her suddenly process the familiar position of his head at her lap. “Th-There’s — that feels —”

She briefly lifted her foot off the gas, just long enough to swing the leg outward to hook around his neck and guide his head between her thighs properly before planting back on the accelerator.

“God, you make me so…” he trailed off with a defeated whine, concern over their big rig tug-of-war seeming to melt away with his wilting into the caress of her fingers along his scalp, hands abandoning any effort to wrestle control of the truck in favor of working at the buttons of her shorts and pulling them down past her thighs.

She willed her eyes to stay open and focused on the road as she allowed her head to fall back with the dizzying glide of pleasure flooding from the press of his mouth against her.

“See?” she hummed, weaving her last remaining thread of composure into her words to lace them solid despite the tremor threatening to slip into her voice. “Doesn’t it feel better to be where you belong and behaving instead of being a fucking problem for once?”

She could feel the electricity of bright blue eyes shooting open to lock onto her face in response just as tangibly as she could the slide of his tongue, the thrill it sent shivering through her just as powerful. So powerful she couldn’t resist sparing a quick glance down to meet his gaze, stroking her hand along the top of his head and down the nape of his neck in encouragement and delighting in the upward furrow of his brow it drew.

It was a sight so lovely it caused heat to flare, the drumming of her pulse to ratchet up to a heavy pounding, a harsh thudding that almost seemed to shake the frame of the truck itself as —

She realized with a forward jolt the thud she felt did not come from the cavern of her chest, but from the collision of the grill of the truck with a hastily placed roadblock of eggshell white vehicles she easily plowed through.

A body bouncing along the windshield to leave behind a smear of blood and spiderweb of splintering glass was perhaps one of the best wake up calls a girl could get that she really shouldn’t be doing what she was doing at the moment.

And getting road head from a murderous cult leader decidedly numbered among things Jessie shouldn’t be doing.

He seemed to reach a similar realization in the same instant, giving two heavy blinks before once again grabbing for the brake and steering wheel just as she lifted a foot to kick him back towards the passenger’s seat.

But the sharp jerk of the wheels to the left sent her flying across the cabin instead, her skull knocking against the glove compartment as she landed.

“Ah,” John sighed with sarcastic pity, giving her an exaggerated shake of his head as he hopped up into the seat. “Perhaps that will teach you the importance of wearing a seat belt.” He clicked his into place with a dramatic flourish of his arm in punctuation. “Since you refuse to learn anything else.”

“Why you fuckin’ —” she only briefly paused to cradle the aching side of her skull before lunging forward, hands shooting towards the straps of the seat belt. “We’ll see how much good a seat belt is gonna do you!” she shouted, fighting to keep her balance despite the stars dancing along her vision and the further bumpy careening of the car to the right as John hurriedly spun the wheel to reverse their course. She mustered her strength to snap the seat belt taut and pull it against his throat, fists pulling the ends they bunch around towards the headrest to cut off his air.

With a choked gasp he brought one hand to the seat belt to claw at the strap and pull it away — the other hand rushing to join it a second later when the force proved insufficient, leaving the wheel clear and unmanned.

Jestiny quickly seized the opening, finally releasing the seat belt to instead wrap her hands around the steering wheel and pull herself forward.

She threw an elbow back to jab into his stomach and knock the breath he’d managed to suck in right back out as she lowered herself to sit atop his lap in the driver’s seat, stomping a foot down on his to jam on the gas pedal as she spun the wheel to its limits to send the the truck in yet another full reversal.

“Jessie,” he hissed out hoarsely, hot breath falling against her back through the thin fabric of her t-shirt as he continued gasping for air. “You need to get the fuck up right now and let me drive this monstrosity back to its rightful place.”

Seems like he recovered fast, unfortunately. Freshly strangled and he still couldn’t shut up.

But at least they could agree on the monstrosity part.

“I think I’ll stay right fucking here,” she chirped in reply, scooting back and side to side in a pantomime of settling into place. “Bein’ my seat cushion may be the first useful thing you ever do in your fucking life.”

Although she could feel as she shifted against him that there was very little cushion to be found — sharp ridges of hip bones cut towards conspicuous hardness straining as tightly as ever against denim.

He recovered fast.

“You are the most stubborn, infuriating, obstinate…” he panted against her shoulder as he buried his face into it, hips flexing beneath her in unsteady rhythm, “impossible, difficult —”

“Hard?” she offered, flashing a smirk towards the rear view mirror so he could see it as she set a pace grinding back against him. “To deal with?”

He humphed in complaint, leaned forward and reached to settle his hands at the wheel beneath hers, barely peeking over her shoulder to look through the windshield. “You have —” he drew in a sharp breath. “No idea — what the fuck you’re doing. You —”

“I have a pretty fucking good idea,” she replied with another wriggle of her hips, a rush of satisfaction swelling inside her as she felt firm pressure drag along the seam of her shorts and moved to cover his hands with her own to easily overpower his weak efforts to turn the wheel and resume their struggle.

“Fuck!” She felt fingers flex beneath hers with a final tensing of his muscles — followed by broken cry and a frantic, uncontrolled upward buck of his hips as his grip broke from the wheel completely to instead wrap arms around her waist, burying his face against her back as he clung to her, entire body shuddering beneath her.

But his shaking was quickly overshadowed by the rough bouncing of the truck itself — her brain belatedly taking stock of the fact the wheel had been jerked sharply to the left, the sudden absence of his resisting force giving her no time to ease back her own and resulting in her steering the car off the road entirely.

“Fuck!” she shouted in turn, attempting to jerk the wheel back in the direction of the road only to have the bumper meet the ledge of the ditch they’d swerved into — the arms wrapped around her waist all that kept her from flying from her seat again. Instead, she merely banged her head against the steering wheel as they were thrown forward, a harsh screech of metal against metal filling the air.

She lifted head pulsing with pain to see the view of a solid wall of dirt greeting her, topped off with a mangled length of guardrail impaling the hood of the truck.

“Well, now nobody gets it,” Jessie grumbled in defeat, kicking a boot against the door in frustration and crossing her arms over her chest.

John slowly blinked bleary eyes to open, trailing along the length of the windshield to assess the damage before settling on her face.

“I hope you’re satisfied,” he huffed, smoothing a hand over his hair as if it could help him to regain some composure. “This is the fruit of your labor,” he said, waving a hand at the wreckage in front of them.

“Not as satisfied as some of us, maybe,” she scoffed, nodding down at his lap.

He cleared his throat, turning his head away from her. “It was a very bumpy ride,” he said. He kept his gaze down, fingers slowly moving towards her waistband. “But I can make it up to you, if —”

“Oh, you’re gonna,” she spat back firmly, shifting in his lap to face him and shoving a hand against his collarbone. “Not like we’re fucking going anywhere,” she added with a roll of her eyes, sliding off of his lap and between the seats, pulling him along by the wrist towards the sleeper cabin behind them.

Maybe they could get some use out of this stupid, hideous truck. He did recover fast, after all.

And looked very pretty kneeling on the floorboards.

#oc: deputy jestiny ellen #otp: stop bothering these nice folks #writies and wordies #nsft #written in part due to me realizing jessie definitely crashes the widowmaker but plot may be too tight for it to happen in wildfire proper #so this can be considered wildfire supplemental canon. but definitely canon.#also assume the crashed widowmaker stays there and becomes one of their regular fuck spots #sorr — (remembers that thanking instead of apologizing is healthier for you and your relationships)#*thank you* for allowing me to prematurely ejaculate in the widowmaker #and etc #also yes im posting at clown times once again

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accio-victuuri · 1 year

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(CPN) Chanel Dinner things 🍷 + gg’s leaked MV

I will probably make another post about this event the more news we get, but i just wanna keep it in one place in the meantime. CPN aside, i’m looking forward to having more photos, videos and everything else from this dinner.

hello bobo. he is so cute. 🥺

onto the clowning. ✔️

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Similarities / same energy with them. They are both so polite in shaking hands with people or handing things to them, I love them. such good boys! Also them minding their own business and all alone in a public event.

p3 and p4 makes me sad, but not entirely cause i understand why it has to be this way and the reason why they are quiet can be a lot of things. they may be tired or they feel unsettled in public events like this when all eyes are on them. yes i’m sure they know that it comes with the fact that they are famous celebrities but it doesn’t mean it makes it easier for them. even if they have friends or acquaintances, they cannot interact with them freely. i miss the times when they attend events together, at least they had each other to fall back on in interviews or just generally keeping each other company. one day, I hope they will have that again.

we also noticed that bobo had his airpods on from his car to the event (see gif below). maybe he was listening to music earlier or he was talking to someone. also after the event when he left secretly, he was holding his phone. he was wearing a long coat that’s a similar style to what GG was seen in last tuesday. GG holding his phone and texting at the airport. Web also having his phone with him. What’s so special right? These two almost never bring their phones out in public. If you’ve seen photos and videos of them at airports, leaving events etc — they don’t bring it out. maybe they don’t want to miss a message from each other. 🥺🥺🥺

There were some comments on wb of turtles who were sad that the 🦴 is missing. This is Web’s first public appearance after GG’s video leak and i guess some people are unneccesarily fragile over it. Let’s just take step back and think about what this event is. It’s a dinner organized by Chanel as well as their 2023 spring and summer preview series viewing. Everyone in that room is wearing Chanel and as their ambassador, would it be good to wear a necklace that wasn’t from the brand? I mean come on. He was front and center along with 9 other people and in the middle. He was also the only one wearing something from the preview collection. He is, so to speak, the Belle of the Ball 😂

Also see below other Chanel events that the 🦴 was not found. ⬇️⬇️⬇️

Lastly, let me address the MV performance of Xiao Zhan that was leaked today. To be fair, it was deleted pretty quickly and everyone were wondering what is it from. It was supposedly from Mid-Autumn Festival 2021 and it was cut. I don’t wanna speculate further on why it was not shown in public but here we are. It’s a performance of the song “Accompany you through Time” by Eason Chan and from the OST of the movie A Journey Through Time with Antony. I don’t really want to CPN too much in songs that are performed for events like this. Mid-Autumn festival is a big deal, so i’m thinking XZ is not the only one who made a decision on the song. They might have given him a list, but yeah, the production team is the one who will have a final say.

A screenshot was going around of where it was from but we can’t fully trust things on the internet. But it said that the director posted it on an APP that was supposedly for the advertising circle. and well, it’s XZ so of course it will get out. OP said the director is problematic and i agree. These unreleased things cannot be shared because even if they are the director, the do not own the rights. It’s a copyright violation. Maybe that’s why it was wiped so quickly.

It was such a beautiful performance tho. 🥲🥲🥲 we need more Singer! XZ. My favorite will be the last part tho. The sound of the bells and him all alone with the Moon. 🌙

-END.

#yizhan #bjyx #all of this is cpn #there is no science here folks im just clowning like i always do #as you can see i am stress cpn posting again #this is because i will be swamped at work this friday 🥲🥲🥲🥲#and my weekend is gonna be busy too lol #so im trying to release these not that i can control anything because if the boys have something on i will be there 😂😂😂

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