#the contrast between that scene and 'dont cry misty. babies cry' hello. (and oh what a line now in retrospect huh djasdjaks)

[alivegirlmari]

the blood not freaking misty out bc it's gross and it means bad news, but bc it reminds her of crystal's death. and twenty-five years later, she can't listen to stayin' alive bc that also reminds her of crystal's death. but she can listen to showtunes on investigative roadtrips and when she drugs reporters, even though crystal literally introduced her to theatre. and so it's like...[do you feel guilty?] not really, i like to think i'm channeling her when i'm up on stage > i am always in awe whenever i can see someone becoming someone else > you are such a freak, it's all your fault > we had a plan, we were gonna do a song > crystal may be gone but you’re here, with us > [are you sure you're good now?] i'm great! bc theatre is all about escapism and masks and putting on a performance. i can't save crystal but i can save shauna and the baby. the blood and birth don't even scare me, i just need to put my midwife mask back on and ignore what's really upsetting me. i can't think about crystal's death bc it means remembering that she rejected who i really am and hated it, but i can think about her life, what she taught me, what she did once see in me, and loved. and i can keep that alive, and take it with me forever.