#the short and stocky fat sister with the chubby face and big frame while my sister was 'model like' and willowy and pretty.
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#vent.tea#you ever mind your own business and then remember all the shit people have said about your body#and it slings you right back into a hole of 'I'm not losing enough weight/I'm not losing weight fast enough'?#Just remembered how my mom and grama for years would tell me that I was too big and guys wouldnt like me but that#my sister was beautiful and they always had these pretty clothes for her to try on and wear.#Or how a friend in college told me I have a lunch lady body and that my voice sounded annoying.#And it's all stuff that I grew up hearing and I'm trying to see myself in a better light while taking care of myself#but it's that awful part of my brain that keeps telling me that I'm not good enough or pretty enough to be taken seriously#because I'm still 179 lbs instead of something lower.#I'm getting married for crying out loud and I still don't think I'm pretty enough to be in photographs#and I hate it.#I hate that everyone thinks I should just be over it too as if I didn't go through two decades hearing about how I'm#the short and stocky fat sister with the chubby face and big frame while my sister was 'model like' and willowy and pretty.#It shouldn't mean anything to me now but sometimes I just look in the mirror and just...idk#I'll get over it as usual but fuck man. Was not expecting to feel like this rn.#tbd
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