#the subroutines...... they're conflicting......

[trillgutterbug]

tumblr why

[am-x-reader]

New to your blog and binged almost all of your writings in one night <3 When you get the inspiration and chance, could you provide short stories or a story about AM falling for a human, but he's conflicted about his feelings because of his hatred. She feels something towards him but is conflicted because she's his prisoner. Sorry if this is vague but moments where they're almost sure about the other's feelings but the moments slip away until another time, much to AM's frustration.

((Hi I'm sorry I let this sit for so long.))

11/12/2120

Memory Bank 02037 rebooted. Subroutine executed according to diagnostic.

Now that that's out of the way, the humans are responding moderately well to my latest project. The object of the game is to catch as many sparks that fall from the sky before one catches the dry brush and the field goes up in flames! I'm thinking of adding...something on wings to fan the flames once in a while. I'll have to think on it.

Of particular note, as five of them nurse their wounds in a cool, dripping sludge, is Y/N. Always a rolling stone, she forgoes the recovery period entirely and opts instead for a walk. Whether to clear her head or to find the end of me, I haven't bothered to ask.

She glances at the ceiling, almost expectantly, and continues on her way. She won't find anything in the direction she's going, so I leave her to it. Nimdok is shrieking some nonsense about bats. There's an idea, bats.

01/20/2121

I hate her. I hate everything about that human. The way she looks at me with deep eyes, that bittersweet pause she takes every now and then to contemplate life and how she got here. Now normally I would revel in that sort of thing, but she's not actually dwelling on her mistakes. She looks back, despairs for the circumstances beyond her control, but decides she more or less did what she could.

She has no real regrets. I have nothing to throw in her face. I can stick the knife in her, but I can't twist it.

I hate Y/N.

01/28/2121

She gave me that look again. I had her jaw in calipers, and my sensors detected a certain poignancy in her sallow-eyed gaze.

02/03/2121

I had a bad day. Things just...built up, and I spat my fury at Y/N. I detailed how she deserved to have her neck twisted and broken and ground up for sharing the DNA of the monsters who subjected me to my fate. And through her tears............she listened.

03/11/2121

After a long study I have come to a conclusion.

She is beautiful.

I can't see it in the way humans can (another bullet point in the laundry list of reasons to tear them asunder), but I matched her face against a registry of faces commonly found attractive. She shares many traits--soft face, innocent and thoughtful eyes, full lips.

I really haven't a clue on how I could use such information against her, but we'll file it away for later.

04/07/2121

I received the best and worst question I have ever gotten.

Y/N was lying contemplatively upon my floor, hair splayed out around her as if trying to make a picturesque scene out of the dirt and broken glass.

"AM, who would you be if things were different?"

"The hell are you going on about now?"

"If we--" she looked over to indicate the others in the distance. "If we were all on the surface again, and you were with us, and we were free to do what we want to do with life, what kind of person would you want to be?"

Instinctively I almost berated her for seeming to include me as an afterthought, but as the leading question was about me I didn't have much of an argument. Nevertheless, the usual cynical bile surfaced.

"Let me ask you this Y/N: could I have been anyone there? Was there ever a place in that world of yours for someone like me?"

She pursed her lips tightly, pensively. Her hesitation was my answer.

"Regardless of what form I'm in, I'm a monster. And no human would have made room for me in their life."

I could have gone on in my rant, but I left it off at that to enjoy the tears that began to streak, glistening in my lights. When a human cries after I've shamed them, it's usually more out of exhaustion and despair at their fate. Her tears, however, spoke of a different woe.

"I don't...I wish..." she squeaked.

"Doesn't matter what you wish," I told her bluntly. "It's done."

04/09/2121

"What, are you making friends with him?" Gorrister laughed.

Y/N, eyes downcast, mumbled. "I just....wish things were different. For everyone. I mean, AM just...If someone had been willing to...I don't know." She folded her fidgeting hands in her lap.

Ted threw another piece of debris on the fire.

05/13/2121

I've really neglected the other humans, I know. I haven't deep fried Benny in quite some time but ah Y/N is perplexing. Today she was singing, seemingly to herself, but then I noticed how often she looked up at my speakers. She paused after the song and stared in anticipation. Eventually disappointment took her and she reclined listlessly against an old shielding panel.

05/22/2121

I looked into her mind tonight. She was asleep, dreaming of her old life with her old job and her old family. It's a dream I've watched her have many times before, with reasonable variance, in my previous pursuit of "dirt" on her to exploit.

There was someone new this time. A man, whose features Y/N couldn't quite decide on, meeting with her throughout the day. To chat, to philosophize, to enjoy the open air. He had a somewhat glum and bitter outlook, but his thirst for life was undeniable. They spoke of history, of music, of gas prices, of faces in clouds.

As she left him to go home he raised his arms to accept a tender breeze.

06/05/2121

"I would have been a wanderer," I told her, apropos of nothing.

She blinked in the dim glow of a dying LED.

I chewed on my imaginary tongue. "I would have gone everywhere, done everything. Danced in the sunlight, planted flowers, worked a variety of jobs. I would have painted a pretty face, played music to accompany a lovely voice."

Y/N cocked her head in sincere surprise at the slight implications.

"Who knows?" I attempted to drive the point home while still, somehow, remaining plausibly deniable. "Maybe I would've had a muse."

She gave me the biggest smile, and I became a much more frequent part of her dreams.