#their plot is so simple even an ork would get it and there's a lot of krumpin going on

[soraka-in-warhammer40k]

I might be betraying my age a little with what I am about to reference, but by pure accident I might have found the perfect explanation for "Gork & Mork" to someone outside of 40k lore and without reducing it to the usual joke of "Orks being dumb".

Getting krumped by Gork is like getting hit by Bud Spencer's signature punch - meanwhile fighting Mork is more like being made a fool of by Terrence Hill. But no matter the difference, when you are in a silly movie with them, and you are an unnamed extra in the role of some goon, you will most likely get krumped one way or another.

Oh and they might not necessarily be on the same side initially, or even remotely get along when they are working together, but they will still beat your ass regardless.

[shadowatching]

Im a trans guy whoes short, very very thin and lanky with short red hair, how would reinhardt break me?

                    HOW WOULD THEY BREAK YOU? ( CLOSED )  –   5 / 21

I’m so glad someone requested Reinhardt, aaaa! This almost turned into a mini drabble. Towards the end the headcanons become a little more like a mini-plot than a series of breaking tactics, but I hope this is still satisfactory!

Rating: Sa/fe for w/ork

Warnings: Standard fare. Kidnapping, captivity, manipulation, unhealthy relationships, forced cuddling, and use of a collar.

                                            ———————————–

REINHARDT:

Why he’d match well with you:

- The Big Burly loves that you’re a Tiny Smol. Can’t resist picking you up.

- He’s not one for hurting his s/o, but he’s afraid the wrong touch will break you apart. The former crusader keeps his touches very soft and gentle. You may as well be a baby bird, fallen from the nest.

- Fascinated with your hair. Likes to run his fingers through it, in awe of the color.

- Protective. Just….. incredibly protective. It’s part of why he takes you- how does someone so tiny survive in the world, all alone? There’s so much that could hurt you! He can’t bear to leave you at its mercy.

                                           ———————————–

How he’d break you:

- When he kidnaps you, it’s as simple as plucking you off of your feet and carrying you off.

- If anyone notices the fuss, they’re too intimidated to do anything. By the time authorities might be called, he’s long gone.

- The way coaxes you to accept him is a very similar approach. There’s nothing you can do to fight him- he’s so, so much bigger and stronger than you. You’re helpless. Completely at his mercy.

- Attempts to escape are met with simply relocating you to a safe place. 

- Reinhardt is big on physical contact, especially of the cuddling variety. He’s huge and warm, and if he pulls you into his side there’s no much you can do about it.

- The first few nights you’d staunchly refused to sleep in the same bed as him. Once he was asleep, you’d curl up on the couch, alone. When he noticed, the sting of you leaving was quickly replaced with a damn-near broken heart at the sight.

- Three strikes and he’d had enough- would settle you in against his body, and throw an arm over you to keep you in place for the rest of the night. Finally, you would wake up where you belonged. There would be no more lonely nights on the couch.

- Affectionate, like he’s a very large cat. Some might say a lion. Often seeks you out and rests his hands on your waist, or decides on a mid-afternoon nap for the both of you. He’ll rest you on top of his chest, or pillow his head on your stomach. His body heat is a step above a furnace, which makes it hard to do any actual sleeping.

- All the doors are locked, and he keeps an actual ring of keys like it’s 1745. Even the doors inside the house are locked, no matter what’s behind them. Who knows what you might find in without supervision! What if you get lost?

- It also means there’s virtually nowhere to hide from him.

- Sits with you on his knee, hands anchoring your hips and keeping you from turning away, as you like to do. You like to hide from him when your face goes as red as your hair, and he won’t have it. While he’s got you captive, he’ll tell you about how happy you’ll be with him once you’ve settled in, and waxes poetic about how much he loves you. This becomes routine- if you hear it enough times, you’ll have to believe him. Right?

- You have nothing of your own. Not even space. Every activity, from peeing to putting on your socks, is next to him. He feeds you by hand, off of his own plate. ( Lots of protein. You’re already so terribly thin, and he’s afraid you’ll waste away just to spite him. )

- Even reading, he keeps you in his lap. The harder you push to keep away from him and find solace in some dark, quiet part of the house, the more insistent and forceful he is.

- When it becomes clear you’re prone to running away, or even stubbornly avoiding him, he gets impatient. He binds your hands together and ties off the rope at his belt, keeping you in tow wherever he goes.

- There’s no need for privacy, anymore. No need to ever be alone. You belong to him, now, and it’s just going to take time for you to learn that.

- He muses to himself about collar, hand thoughtfully poised on his chin, and you go pale. You back away, panicked and shivering, and it takes almost an hour to calm you down again. You’re so high-strung!

- But the more he thinks about it, the more he likes the idea. It would be a mark of his ownership, and he could leash you, or even slide a finger under it to keep you near him. You’d even have your hands back.

- Yes, having a band around the column throat is an attractive thought. Reinhardt is loathe to see you upset, but this is necessary, and will ultimately be to your benefit- you aren’t making progress, and this will set a clear tone about who’s in charge without the danger of having to punish you.

- He doesn’t have the heart to ambush you, but when you see the collar dangling from his fingers you take off like a rabbit. It’s not hard to chase you down, but it doesn’t make this any easier. After trapping you in a room with his hulking frame, he slowly closes in. You try to dart around, but a massive hand catches you around the middle before you can make it, and he winces as you scream. He’s not hurting you, he tells himself. He knows he’s not hurting you. Every touch is firm, but gentle. You’re just upset, and it’s understandable, but this is going to happen.

- The two of you end up on the floor. You’re sprawled across his legs, on thrown over you to keep you still. Still, you twist and writhe, sobbing as he fixes the leather band around your neck. Checks to make sure it isn’t too tight. Gathers you in his arms and shushes you, whispering soothingly to you like a scared animal.

- Sometimes, he’s not sure if you’ll ever break. If you’re ever stop fighting him. But the longer it goes on, the more tired you are. He can see it in your eyes. You’re almost there. Hate still brews inside of you like a storm, but it’s lessening. Soon, you’ll learn to love him.

[kendrixtermina]

So I’ve seen the first episode with Picard

This is the first thing since before the Reboot that actually FELT like Star Trek

Confession time: I hatedhatedhated Discovery. 

So we all know that there has been an epidemic of soulless remakes in the last decade, that much is indisputable. At some point they figured out that they could sell/ disguise those as something relevant (or at least deflect criticism) by casting women. I’m all for representation don’t get me wrong id even say that it has value all on its own even in a bad film - But it does not replace writing. You still have to write. 

That’s also why I hate the word ”diversity” like I hated all phony euphemisms since I could think. Say representation if that’s what you mean, you could have a cast accurately representing the earth’s demographics and still have them be boring samey and predictable as characters. It can certainly LEAD to interestingness if this leads to the discussion of experiences that dont get enough attention or different POVs,  and bias toward giving acclaim to “tried and true” things (or a racism-tinged conception thereof) can LEAD to boring sameyness but they’re not the same things. 

First I was super exited about it including because of the diverse casting because that is a) needed in our times b) realistic for the far future and c) very much in the spirit of Star Trek. They didn’t always succeed, much looks dated now, but they tried. Also it was a super interesting time period of the setting to explore. But rather than building on it and expanding they ignored everything pretty much. Even that they were going to try a different POV other than the captain excited me - they did something like that with DS9 and it was great. 

First it’s this 12 year old writing their first fanfiction thing where the new MC is the fan favorite’s secret little sister like I could have written a better Mary Sue as a teenager, and they undermine the casting by tying her to the popularity of a white man character and not giving her like her own story and background. Remember Benjamin Sisko? He was from new Orleans, his father and son featured prominently etc there was a recognizeable cultural background just like Picard is French and Kirk was ‘merrican. Why not go afrofuturist?   Same thing with the androgynous name - they do it and then they immediately undermine it by having the people in the setting react to it like its weird. 

But what I really cannot forgive them is that they turned something that was always so deeply about humanism into a generic war flic. That the MC is a misunderstood visionary because she advocated for violence. The Klingons are basically Orks. Why not have a new baddie and call them something else? 

They completely forgot that it was supposed to be an utopian vision, a different, future society. A big central plot point, the emotional crux, is that everyone snubs Michael because she’s a convict, and pacifism is universally accepted. Starfleet sees itself primarily as explorers and diplomats though it socially fills the role of a military.  This is supposed to be a future world where the justice system is reparative, criminals get to see shrinks and reintegrated and people are less prejudiced and socially evolved - it can’t all be perfect because there would be no plot, but it still represents the idea that we CAN be better, and the characters try to choose that, or wrestle with the idea of that, when confronted with their own flaws and those of their society. Has the world come to a place where we can we no longer even imagine that? 

I often felt this would be better served by making ripoffs (predictability, which is what they want, plus room for creativity) instead of remakes (bound to piss off the original fans, cheap grab for free publicity) - A Sci Fi war movie about someone who is snubbed for being a convict absolutely could be good and valid on its own and touch on relevant themes, especially given the social problems in the USA where ex-cons can’t get jobs and racism leads to wrongful convictions. But the execution is plain bad!

So, By contrast, Picard

The old star treks had plenty of bad wonky episodes that everyone now rolls their eyes at but the thing is they always at least TRIED to be high-concept, classic-literature like. That took itself seriously when talking about politics, science, ideals and the human condition, and tried to be thought provoking

Something that’s been lost in modern anti/purity culture that acts like there is One Obvious Right Opinion and everything else gets loaded labels, is that something doesn’t need to be perfect to make the audience think about a concept or topic. I don’t expect it to be perfect but I do expect them to TRY. 

It’s only the first episode, I wouldn’t say that I’m blown away by genius, but it’s trying. 

Humanitarian actions are a theme again as well as integrity and utopia. He resigned in Protest.  etc because he felt society shifting away from that utopia

The relevant politcs is there - Refugee crisis, the sense that we’re in a dark place in history where ppl have become cautious stopped daring and trying

but the speculative is also there with the androids

Referencing Sci Fi classics. I see a lot of asimov there, a bit of blade runner. high-Concept sci fi has always assumed a well-read audience since Mary Shelley invented the genre

Picard is really written like Picard. I guess it helps to have the original actor. His dialogues were beautiful and everything that star trek is about. The orchid one is so pretty

It’s also original-like just in simple flavor things without over the top intertextuality/references, like the inclusion of paintings, mysterious beauty, the french countryside, the observation-riddled poker game , the theme of coming back from retirement, recalling the chess game at the opening of TOS etc. 

There was a war involving genetic augmentation and then it was banned forever in a WWII like traumatic reaction so this IS “in character” for that society for all that its always been characterized as neophillic

I already ship Soji with that Romulan. or im just glad to have some romulan MCs really regardless of ship.