#there's a few ppl im fine talking to though; still tiring but i find they're easier 2 talk to (eli. kisses u)
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good lord there are downsides 2 having my discord be known to a certain group of ppl
#in a server that i'm not super active in anymore [nobody who follows me is in it i think? save a certain mutual. kisses u] but like.#it was Fine at first. everyone's nice. but they're just not the sorta people i find myself getting along with?#not their fault at all! it's just diff wavelengths i think. which is totally fine; happens to everyone#problem is that. i get messaged by some of them occasionally and i just. never know what 2 say. and honestly Dont want to say anything#so it's usually just me sitting there while they speak at me and i just. it's so stressful#and i've tried posting a few things like ''hey!!! i dont dm mutuals. like ever'' and said that i dont rlly talk to ppl. in the tags#but it didn't work . hell !!! hellish!!!!#it's a minor thing . it shouldn't even be an issue. but anxiety and other factors make it borderline panic-inducing and i'd just rather be -#left alone most of the time#there's a few ppl im fine talking to though; still tiring but i find they're easier 2 talk to (eli. kisses u)#it's just. irritating. since i dont want to interrupt someone infodumping to me whom i dont. rlly know and just#say ''hey i dont want to talk to you. like i cant'' but phrased. better ofc#i'll always be WAY better at communicating if it's in tumblr replies. or asks. since those are just quick and simple#even group chats are ok. i still dont talk in them much because there's still that looming anxiety but. they're not about Me. so it's. less#i've been trying to find a way to work on this but it's. not been working as of recently and that kinda sucks#o well#none of the ppl who are accidentally causing this sorta stress are following my main so i'm p sure it's fine to talk abt it here#delete later
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