#there's like.... okay so spark has personality issues honest rarepair ppl don't usually believe me but dds
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#idk who i am#did notes there's a new splinter#she existed like last year but i didn't know it was her i always confuse her with blythe but yeah idk#there's like.... okay so spark has personality issues honest rarepair ppl don't usually believe me but dds#super saiyan will or fuckin bobolio........ is comparable but pretty much completely different in basis#bo FUFCK originated from like having to grow up really fucking quick in some real ass situations just like ultimate adult figure except not#not in a protector way its like he exists similarly to patrick like social type except he isnt social hes been through some shit same as edw#fuckin smiley#right im specifically jus differentiating between bo and idk blythe pt2 and ive been keeping it secret cause she fucking sucks like not as m#not as much as cassie lol jk but fr like idk one of my tattoos is named dahlia maybe thats when she originated who knows i feel like shes#existed within me for a while i can always tell when dahlia is fronting in serious situations cause its like. literally not caring abt#literally not caring about others as a defense mechanism and entirely investing in myself in the situation and getting myself into a vetter#a better situation whether that be me alone somewhere or elsewhere i guess#ive been working on getting closer to spark but shit sucks cause like idk how to like idk interact like literally idk how to#basically you just talk to him i guess#but yeah its like idc thats the whole thing like in whatever situation its like focus on you dont engage plan your way out of this negativit#there are perks and downfalls to having whatever disorder#the dissociative part is axtually not a bad thing as long as u have someone there in brr robot mode to#function at high capacity while dissociated#cause while dissociation can come with airheadedness or distance it doesnt usually do that unless someone with some strong ass expectations#thinks that dissociation means ur like not in ur brain#thats honestly different theres an absense aspect as well as a dissociative aspect#you gotta jus be there in thefuckin background for whenever you dissociate#mfs be telling parts of me to go to sleep UGH and it fuckignnsucks cause its so annoying and it makes me tired as fuck like no im not sleepi#ng in my brain theres dormancy or jus#like sitting behind myself or within or something#sleeping within yourself isnt a very good thing for me cause its like. im always tired yknow like damn i wish i could do that#thats regular depression#thats another thing reasoning kind of like everything feels really far away physically so going anywhere is such a slog its like..#reading a book thats kind of boring and youre like oiay next chapter is like 10 pages away and then its hard to pay attention to what youre
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