#there's not a single case of an abled thin nonbinary person actually passing as nonbinary in every day life in any sort of consistent way

[this-is-exorsexism]

acting like nonbinary passing is a thing forprivileged nonbinary people.

this is exorsexism.

nonbinary passing does not exist, for anyone. even if nonbinary is your only marginalised identity, no one is going to correctly assume that you are nonbinary in a society that doesn't recognise nonbinary people the same way it does men and women.

as a visibly disabled and fat enby, i've been excluded from gender and overly gendered by different people, and conventional androgyny doesn't represent me.

however, the nonbinary people who do have access to conventional androgyny, i.e. abled, thin, white nonbinary people, still don't have access to nonbinary passing - because no one does.

having your gender expression recognised isn't the same as having your gender recognised. like, at all. it's why feminine men aren't magically recognised as women and masculine women aren't magically recognised as men. the most androgynous nonbinary people only have the option to be seen as androgynous men or women, not as nonbinary. gender and gender expression are two different things and being able to express your gender how you want does not equal passing, especially when there is no such thing as passing for nonbinary people. most people don't even know nonbinary people exist. we cannot be seen as something that people don't know even exists, even if we starve ourselves and cure all our disabilities.

"the more privilege you have, the easier it is to pass as your gender" is only true for binary genders, i.e. genders that society actually recognises. no amount of privilege can undo the deep-seated nonbinary erasure that leads to our consistent misgendering.

multiply marginalised nonbinary people will experience exorsexism very differently from privileged nonbinary people, but no amount of privilege can make nonbinary passing a thing that exists. we need to talk about how marginalisations affect nonbinary experience without completely erasing a core part of exorsexist oppression that is universal to all of us.

acting as if nonbinary passing could be a thing for any nonbinary person in our current society is exorsexist in itself by dismissing the fact that nonbinarity itself is not recognised as a valid category by mainstream society.