#this is what im doing with my wednesday night huh (i'm kidding i'm not upset lol this is funny <3)

[multi-lefaiye]

multi i NEED to hear about why warrior cats are not cats (at least by our standards)

ASDJKFL; alright LMAO

here we go besties let me retype my theory <3

okay uh fair warning, this has very little evidence backing it, and it's also a joke. i don't remember why i typed this up originally but i just think it's a funny thing to try and argue that the warrior cats cats aren't actually cats, or if they ARE cats then they exist in an alternate timeline/universe where cats are Very Different.

and obligatory disclaimer i don't think this is the actual intent on the authors' part. i think all of my evidence for this is just based on the fact that the authors, especially in the Early Days Of Warriors, don't seem to know shit about cats. which is fair, but i'm gonna run with it.

gonna go under the cut wahoo b/c idk how long this is gonna get

HYPOTHESIS: Warrior cats takes place in some kind of alternate timeline/universe where cats evolved very differently and are perceived very differently. Either that or these cats are fucking aliens, take your pick.

EVIDENCE:

So the most obvious evidence I have for this claim is how genetics seem to work in the series. I'm not an expert on cat genetics by any means, but there are dozens and dozens of genetically impossible characters. I'm not talking about the male calicos n' such, b/c as we all know those cats are just trans of gender. I'm talking about the sheer amount of people I see trying desperately to find a way to make the genetics in Warriors make sense, which is a difficult journey and I admire them.

Now I'll say right now--I don't care if the authors bend the rules a little for their cat fantasy. I really don't. I think Warriors is far more interesting without a strict adherence to real life cat genetics. HOWEVER, the implications are interesting to think about.

Let me list some examples, just off the top of my head (pretty much all of these relate to the red gene, which is one of the only things I know with confidence about cat genetics, don't @ me):

Yellowfang is a pure grey cat, whose parents are both orange/cream-colored. Far as I'm aware, that's not genetically possible. Also that's not even talking about her father being cream-colored with ginger legs, but I'm gonna assume he's a chimera and not look into that too deeply.

Lionblaze is a golden tom despite the fact that neither of his parents have any red/gold/cream/whatever on them. Now, if Leafpool was a tortoiseshell or something along those lines, this would all be fine no problem. But she isn't, so I'm gonna say Hey What. (Also side-note but based on my very tenuous grasp of cat genetics, I think Hollyleaf is the only cat in that particular litter whose genetics actually make some sense??? Idk you could argue recessive dilute genes for Jayfeather ig but I'm getting off-topic)

Scourge's sister Ruby should be a tortoiseshell/calico, but she's depicted as taking after her mother and being pure silver. Yes I'm aware she's a minor character who only appears in one manga, but shut up. It's my theory and I get to cherry-pick evidence.

Firestar, iconic orange boy himself, genetically speaking would not be a red cat in reality, unless you take a lot of liberties there.

I'm not gonna go into researching this too deeply but I just want to say that I don't think it's realistic for there to be multiple almost exact clones of Tigerstar I running around, even among his own descendants. Like you're telling me his genes are just that fucking powerful huh. Okay.

On the note of impossible genetics, there are multiple cats described as having purple eyes. Heatherstar and Heathertail are both described as having eyes "the color of heather" and HEATHER IS PURBLE!!!! (note: I'm aware heather can be blue sometimes, hush)

Foxleap is bright fuckin' red when neither of his parents have those genes. Just throwing that out there.

Okay this is getting out of hand, I don't know enough about cat genetics to back up this point

ANYWAY PART TWO!! BEHAVIORS!!!

So I'm not a cat behavioral expert, I will say that right now. However, from what I have read and seen, there are a lot of typical kitty behaviors that are straight up removed from the book. I'm very aware that pretty much all of those are for the sake of making a good story and also making the characters more human for the audience, and also more child-friendly. Anthropomorphizing (in the sense of making the characters relatable to a human audience, not making them furries) an animal character for a child audience while retaining their natural instincts is hard! It can be done, but it's hard to strike a balance.

All of this to say that one time I read a rewrite of Warrior cats that someone did where they included a lot more natural cat instincts and behaviors and it was interesting to learn but also highkey kinda offputting in a lot of ways. So I see why the authors did this, but I am gonna say it supports my theory that's definitely completely legitimate.

Along this note. This is my least favorite part of this theory. But it supports my point the most probably idk-

Anyway the fact that accidental pregnancy happens as a recurring thing in this series tells me a few facts, all of which I hate and feel weird saying:

These cats do not have heat cycles of any kind and can just kinda reproduce whenever

These cats are uh. Ahem. Having Fun Times together whenever they fuckin want. Going to town. Good for them.

I'm aware this is another instance of anthropomorphism with the cats. I'm also gonna go ahead and say that these plotlines would not be possible unless something's a little fucky with these cats.

(Also honestly there probably just isn't sex ed of any kind in the clans, which I understand not including but also feels like a huge oversight.)

Okay I want to stop talking about this point so I'm moving onto my next point.

PART THREE!!!!! PERCEPTIONS!!!

I'm not the only person to have pointed this out, but cats in Warriors are treated like... pests, most of the time, except by people who actually own cats. Like there are so many instances of humans doing unspeakable horrific shit to the cats and it's just... really normalized, it seems?

Like there's a moment in the Greystripe manga arc where he and Millie find a farm owned by humans, and the humans immediately sic their dog on these two cats without fucking hesitation. There's a whole fucking book about Greystripe and Millie making these humans not think cats are scum of the earth who deserve to be mauled and slaughtered.

Which, sure, you can chalk that up to that one family being really fucking weird about cats. BUT THERE'S SO MANY MORE INSTANCES I CAN REMEMBER?

I don't remember where this shows up, so bear with me, but whenever cats and humans interact in Warriors, very rarely is it a positive experience for the cats, unless the humans happen to be cat owners.

So does this take place in some alternate universe where cats are seen as pests and considered strange or unusual pets? Asking for a friend.

Okay I'm running out of steam so LIGHTNING ROUND

I get that this is fantasy but it's interesting to me how many things that are straight up deadly to real cats are used as homeopathic medicine in this series.

I know this has been brought up by like everyone ever but the kits in Warriors being born with their adult eye color and also having their eyes open shortly after birth. That's not how it works in real life. These cats are weird.

The cats in Warriors are depicted as still essentially being young teenagers when they reach six months of age, which may be true on a social level but in reality cats at that age are nearly fully grown.

These cats' lifespans? Wack. I'll go ahead and accept that the fact that these cats have pretty good healthcare out in the wild means they're gonna live a long time, and also the timeline is fucky so idk how old any of these characters are anyway, but. Well okay this point had more ground to stand on when Mistystar was alive LMAO.

MAYBE THIS IS JUST ME but it's weird to me how easily characters are able to hide pregnancies just by masking their scents. Am I missing something? Because after a whole that's uh. Not something you can hide easily. (Once again: the clans have no sex ed.)

This isn't really relevant but I just remembered that Millie canonically speaks dog and it's brought up like once and never again and I just need to know how that's possible. What's happening here.

So what does all of this mean? Good fucking question. I think the most likely scenario is that Warrior cats takes place in an alternate universe and isn't intended, on any level, to be based on Our Reality That We Live In. Which, fair enough, but yeah.

Either that or the cats are aliens, which is a delightful prospect but I don't feel like trying to prove that.

Thank you for coming to my TEDtalk