#this post is SO ridiculously long i'm sorry. if the readmore doesn't work i will scream

[riddlerosehearts]

list of acd canon sherlock holmes things i absolutely love

(and am going to mostly put under a readmore because i made most of this list while rereading the entire canon so it is very long! listen i just think sherlock holmes is the best character ever and i need to share my love for him--)

immediately upon being introduced to watson he grabs him by the sleeve, starts excitedly showing off his bloodstain testing experiment, and claps his hands “looking as delighted as a child with a new toy”. once he finishes, his eyes glitter and he puts his hand on his heart and bows “as if to some applauding crowd conjured up by his imagination”.

watson: “i object to rows because my nerves are shaken”

holmes: “do you include violin playing in your category of rows?” he asked, anxiously

he’s noted to be extraordinarily knowledgeable and zealous in his studies, and yet on the same page it’s stated that he doesn’t know the earth travels around the sun and once watson tells him about it he immediately decides to forget about it because it’s not relevant to his work. this is where the famous “brain attic” monologue comes in.

watson writes this list about him and then throws it into the fire in despair:

has a habit of laughing in a way that’s described as bursting into an “explosion” or “roar” of laughter

frequently does this at crime scenes:

enlists a gang of street orphans to help him on his cases, pays them for their work, and generally treats them as equals but also playfully talks to them like a general to his soldiers

plays the violin for watson to help him get to sleep

is incredibly knowledgable on anything from different types of tobacco, to the ways one's trade can influence the form of their hands, to medieval pottery and stradivarus violins. and yet, i reiterate, does not know the earth revolves around the sun.

has a tendency of waxing poetic about the meaningless of existence, particularly when he’s bored from not having any cases to work on

once said about a dog “i would rather have toby’s help than that of the whole detective force of london”

used the word “doggy” when speaking to toby

once told watson “i don’t wish to be theatrical” despite all evidence to the contrary

disguises himself as an old man just to play a prank on watson

watson: “i think i had better go”

holmes: “not at all, doctor. stay where you are. i am lost without my boswell.”

is known to wiggle in his chair when he gets excited about a case

discovers that a man has tricked his own stepdaughter into a fake marriage so he can keep her at home and control her life and inheritance. acknowledges that said man hasn’t done anything illegal but still tells him “there never was a man who deserved punishment more” and that he ought to get whipped for what he did, and then goes to actually get his hunting crop, causing the man to run out the door at top speed

let a criminal go free because it turned out the man he murdered was trying to force said criminal’s daughter into an unwanted marriage

was suddenly made to participate in the wedding of someone he was tracking for a case, came home and laughed about it for several minutes, exclaimed “well, really!”, laughed for several more minutes, and only then did he actually tell watson what happened

responds to the king of bohemia insulting irene adler and saying she’s not on his level by saying coldly: “from what i have seen of the lady, she seems indeed to be on a very different level to your majesty”, which is basically him saying “actually she’s way better than you, so fuck off”

refused to shake said king’s hand

built a pillow fort in a client’s house so he could think better

let a poor jewel thief go because he cried, because it was christmas and therefore it was the season of forgiveness, and because the case was really easy anyway so it’s not his fault if the police are too stupid to solve it themselves

always reassures clients that they can trust him and watson and speak freely around them

is willing to waive his fee for clients who can’t afford to pay him, because according to him his profession is its own reward

this entire scene from speckled band when he gets confronted by his client’s abusive stepfather:

this nice little example of the gentleness he often displays with his clients:

the adventure of the copper beeches. just, all of it. a woman he doesn’t know comes to holmes for advice about a potential job she’s interviewed for and they both agree it sounds incredibly sketchy, she says she’s gonna take it anyway because she needs the money, and he’s like “well i wouldn’t want any sister of mine doing something like this but FINE i guess, just please write to us and let us know if you’re okay and if anything bad happens we’ll drop everything and come help you immediately”, and then the job does in fact turn out to be super sketchy and they drop everything and get on a train as soon as she writes to them

sometimes spends several hours out on walks through the park or the town with watson just relaxing and talking with him for the sake of it, despite watson frequently noting that holmes doesn’t have much appreciation for nature

“we have had the good fortune to bring peace to many troubled souls. i trust that we may do the same for you,” he says “in his easy, genial way” to a potential client who’s clearly very upset and sleep-deprived

is completely wrong about a particular case and asks watson to remind him of that case next time he gets overconfident

is noted by watson to be very neat and methodical in his methods and way of dress, while simultaneously being one of the messiest people ever who keeps his tobacco inside a persian slipper and his unopened letters held up by a knife in the center of his mantelpiece, keeps tons of criminal relics which apparently somehow end up in the butter dish sometimes, and keeps countless stacks of papers and documents all over the place

tells watson anecdotes about his past just to avoid cleaning up said documents

deliberately knocks over a table, shattering a glass fruit bowl which then sends oranges rolling all over the room, and then blames it on watson and runs away

says snarky things like “when gregson or lestrade are out of their depth–which, by the way, is their normal state” and “you’ve done very well, watson! it’s too bad you’ve missed everything of importance”

laughs when watson suggests he’s being modest about his abilities

picked up a rose and got all sappy and poetic about it

more specifically, picked up a rose and said that religion can be a science which involves a lot of careful deduction, and that flowers are a source of hope and proof of the goodness of god due to the fact that they aren’t a necessary part of life but are still so beautiful anyway

recovered an incredibly valuable government treaty for a client and had it served to him on a platter at breakfast because, in his own words, he “never can resist a touch of the dramatic”

faked his death and then revealed to watson that he was still alive in a manner that even he admitted was unnecessarily dramatic

had a full-scale wax model of himself created and used it to fool his enemies

made a diagram out of breadcrumbs to explain something to watson

broke into a blackmailer’s house for a case because he believed it to be morally justifiable, and admitted that he always thought he might make a good criminal

held watson’s hand while they were burgling said house together

twice

allowed said blackmailer to be murdered in front of him by one of his victims and then refused to take the case when asked because he just hated the guy that much

“flushed up with pleasure” when watson complimented him

asked watson to sell his medical practice and move back into 221b with him after the death of his wife. and then secretly gave a relative of his a ton of money to buy watson’s medical practice at the highest price watson would ask for, just so they could live together again

was nearly brought to tears by lestrade saying he was proud of him

let a dog lead him around on a case, multiple times in different stories

was very gentle with a client who he knew to be the victim of an abusive marriage and allowed the man who killed her husband to go free out of sympathy for their situation

noticed watson looking sad and touching his war wound and tried to cheer him up by echoing his thoughts and providing a deduction of how he knew what he was thinking

mentioned watson’s sparkling eyes in said deduction

talked about nothing but violins and his favorite violinist for an hour while he and watson had lunch together

likes going to classical music concerts and getting lost in the music

does scrapbooking

chuckles and rubs his hands together when he’s happy

this:

takes getting called "the devil himself" as a compliment

let a killer go because he had only killed in retaliation for the unjust murder of his lover, and holmes felt that he might’ve done the same if someone were to kill the woman he loved

on a completely unrelated note tells a guy who shoots watson “if you had killed watson you would not have got out of this room alive”

also reacted like this when watson got shot:

went undercover to supposedly give a guy secret government intelligence documents, and then gave him a book about bees instead

frequently disguised himself either for cases or just to fool watson and was noted to be a great actor

once disguised himself as an old woman with a parasol

tried the best he could to talk a young woman out of marrying a man who had a history of “collecting” women for sport and destroying their lives, and admitted to watson that he thought of her as he would think of his own daughter

was prone to “imp-like moods”

sent watson a message to come over at once ("if convenient--if inconvenient come all the same") just so he could infodump to him about dogs

wasn’t surprised that a dog died of grief shortly after its owner’s death, because of “the beautiful, faithful nature of dogs”

listened with great sympathy to a depressed woman who wanted to tell him her tragic story, picked up on hints that she was planning to commit suicide, talked her out of it by convincing her that her life does have value and then called her brave for choosing to live

got lost in thought looking out the window at the publicly funded elementary schools and randomly went on about how he believes they and the children who attend them are beacons of a brighter future

made hot cocoa for watson

shook hands with a baby

retired to the countryside to live on a farm and become a beekeeper.

[domoz]

9, 11, and 16 for the ask game! Your choice of fic (or all of them for 16)

(Ask game) 9 - What is your favorite dialogue you’ve written so far?

If I'm restricting myself to just founders stuff (and lbr I dont remember enough about older stuff to be able to quote it off the top of my head) it's probably this bit from this oneshot because the lines are so cold (imo).

"If you want it to stop --" Says Butsuma, forcing Tobirama's face to turn the other direction and digging the kunai in to the other side, a perfect match to the first cut "-- Then stop me. Get strong enough to stop me." But Hashirama can't stand up. There's no sudden burst of strength -- he used that up ages ago. All he can manage is to drag himself a few inches forward through the dirt, fingers just able to reach where a spot of blood (his brother's blood!) has been flung to the ground. "Please." His voice is hoarse, "Please, I understand. Please stop." The look Butsuma levels at him is cold, a frown that says he doesn't believe him. He tilts up Tobirama's head, cuts a final slash into his chin, before letting go. Standing up, stepping back, uncaring of the way his son has dropped to the ground like a puppet with it's strings cut. "Guard your heart or grow strong enough to keep it safe, Hashirama. Those are your options."

11- What scene are you most hyped for this chapter/fic?

For Hand over Hand Over Hand, there is a bullet on my outline labeled "Hikaku's very long and sexy day" which I think about often, and is basically: Hikaku doing what he signed up for to the extreme, and going from Tobirama, to Madara, and back to Tobirama all in a row.

For another fic... the whole second arc of Trust in Reverse, which is a fic where Tobirama and Izuna were forced to marry, with the expectation that it would fail. The arc is all courtly drama and the two of them begrudgingly working together to figure out why it all happened in the first place (and learning to trust each other along the way :)) Not a scene exactly, but most of that fic is in the outline phase.

16 - Write the next 5 sentences and share. ...For every fic you say? (...I was gonna put a readmore here, but the text editor tumblr assigned me for this post wont allow it. So, sorry if this is annoying long)

Brothers in Bond

Before he could stew on that for too long, the door pulled open with a creak that was deafening in the relative silence of the room. Izuna scowled reflexively, unused to having to squint into the light -- not that it mattered. Whoever this was, they were wearing the same nondescript grey uniform and mask as the shinobi who had captured them in the first place. Two more, dressed the same, slipped in to flank door even as it was pulled closed and latched from the outside. The chain quietly scraped on the stone floor as Tobirama shifted his position to better study the new arrivals. Tight security, Izuna thought with a mental sigh, and shitty interrogation tactics.

Trust in Reverse

There is no greeting, but instead one handed gesture at the papers on the table. "Infrastructure plans." He explains, voice so flat that Izuna can't tell if he thinks if this is serious or all a ridiculous farce. "Utilities. We're inevitably going to have to share, since we're living so close, and moving forward without input from both sides is asking for trouble at this stage." No, he must think it's all bullshit if he's asking for Izuna's opinion on -- he glances down -- plumbing. He's not educated on sewer systems, aside from the one mission he'd taken to the capital that had required him to crawl through them for several hours. This is some kind of trap -- has to be.

Wood Tar, Charcoal, Ginger, and Honey

Tobirama doesn't show a hint of fear at a compound full of active sharingan tracking his movements, nor so much as react when he's searched for weapons. He easily hands over the pack of medical supplies he's brought, only raising an eyebrow at the challenging look that Hikaku gives him when a pack of senbon is pulled from an inside pocket. "You're free to have your own healers examine the contents, it all has medicinal use." He says evenly,the way he folds his arms betraying nothing but annoyance, "And I'm unlikely to need any of it right away." "Take it." Madara grunts with a wave of his hand, already gesturing for Tobirama to follow him. He doesn't have time for this, and Izuna certainly doesn't, either.

In the Corner of Another Room

Izuna can admit to enjoying a little luxury from time to time, but he's still a shinobi born and raised. He can pass as an air-brained nobleman when he has to, and even enjoy it, but excess still makes his skin crawl when he thinks about it too hard. The inn and onsen high up in the mountains is lovely, truly, but the price tag to stay there is most certainly not. Mission success will make this more than worth it, but his nagging guilt at the cost combined with the constant vigilance makes him unable to really sit back an enjoy it all. He could -- his mark isn't due to arrive for another few days, yet -- but Izuna was trained better than that.

Heart of Flowers

Madara slips into his office without knocking. It had taken him a while to figure it out, but Tobirama doesn't actually chew out everyone who comes in unannounced, just those who insisted on loudly interrupting his work. Madara would never pretend that he hadn't before, or that he never would again, but the village had helped him start to be patient in ways he'd never had to be before. He is, in fact, capable of not tearing out Tobirama's throat. These days he doesn't even want to, most of the time.

Fic Trio (Specifically, Ambitious Uses for Hands and Tongues)

His entire existence has whittled down to to the agonizing white-hot pulse of not-quite pain. At some point -- Izuna doesn't know when, he was already starting to lose time even when he was conscious -- the feeling spread, changing from something sharp into a full body prickly-numbness that made it impossible to think or to keep his eyes open. He'd always thought it'd be cold, but he feels warm, almost pleasantly so, except for the uncomfortable points of heat that are pressing into his side. Fingertips, he manages to dredge up after what might have been an age or might only have been moments. Who's touching me? And why doesn't it hurt?

Hand Over Hand Over Hand

He raps on the door anyway, and hefts the bottle he's brought along when it opens and Izuna appears in the crack, squinting meaningfully. He lights up at the sight of it -- it's umeshu, from the same brewer that Tajima used to buy from when he went into court; the cheaper stuff he drank himself, not the fancy gifts he presented the daimyo, and by extension, the stuff he hid under the floorboards that Izuna and Madara got drunk on for the first time. Madara got sick, Tajima forced him to train through it as punishment, and he's all but forbidden plum wine from the house ever since, but Hikaku knows Izuna still has a fondness for the stuff. He'd been planning to give it as a birthday gift, but he hadn't anticipated a need to apologize for all but supplanting Izuna from his previous life at the time, either. Nor did he think he'd be trying to learn about the man who was his rival and worst enemy.

What if Hashirama was Evil

Only when Madara's shadow falls across him does he look up, but his red eyes are glazed and uncomprehending, and his head lolls back to its awkward resting angle after only a moment, too tired or too uncaring to struggle. Madara looks him over more closely. He looks dirty and scuffed up like he's been in a fight, though all of the minor wounds have already stopped bleeding. He hasn't even been properly stripped of weapons, just stopped from moving by the wood wrapping his wrists together and his arms behind his back. Madara grimaces but kneels down and starts going through pockets. Much as he hates the idea of doing what's so obviously been planned for him to do, the fact of the matter is that he's got no information, and Tobirama almost certainly does.