#this was my first-ever rimworld run. i'm not sure if i'll continue it but i couldn't get the story out of my head

[gavs-gabs]

Two days. We would only be gone for two days.

In hindsight, it seems obvious. The mechhive must have intercepted our comms. Maybe they were watching us all along. Hell, maybe it was a coincidence. Either way, we should have known better. "It's two days. What's the worst that could happen?" I've never hated Wesley for asking as we packed the caravan. There is no room left in my heart for it.

The intel we got from Ouran told Anna we needed all the EMP tech we could carry if we were going to make it back alive with the persona core. And we did make it back alive. Some nights I wish we hadn't. The coincidence is too painful - we borrowed the one thing that could have saved them all.

I wonder how Wesley sees the world. Ever since we found that piece of archotech in the tomb, since Anna replaced his eye with that one, I've wondered. Could he see our hearts beating out of control? Watch the cortisol pumping through our brains? Would he even have thought to look?

Somehow we did know, even before we reached home. Call it mother's intuition, maybe a hint of psychic connection. Or maybe those godawful noises of the mechhive carried infrasounds over kilometers of brushland, reaching our subconscious long before we saw what happened. When I found Anna lying there on the other side of the hill, shivering and empty-eyed, I knew it was over. I knew she had to run; she never could hurt a living thing. Even if that thing was just a chassis of whirling plasteel blades. I carried her limp, barely breathing frame to the western gate while Wesley and Abbey went ahead to secure the base.

The destruction was absolute. It's hard to imagine how much could be destroyed without a single bomb or gun, but the splinters of wood and stone and ribbons of wire and flesh bore no false witness. The first bodies we saw were the animals and the ill-fated reinforcements from the Ouran League. The hive had systematically targeted the only potential threats-- pet boomrats, Lauren's cougar, the local friendly megasloth. They must have tried so hard to protect her. I hated myself for not being able to protect her either.

Wesley and Abbey went to check on the power to the south while I rushed Anna to the hospital. I heard the whirring as I rounded the corner, leveling my EMP blaster at a barely-functioning scyther. I set Anna down as gently as I could and rushed in to bash the stunned mechanoid's arms off. It sputtered and collapsed. I held back bile as I glimpsed the mounds of flesh by the barricade, but I had to focus on Anna. I could tell that much from the silence. Dead silence: nary a cry for help nor even a labored breath.

She wasn't injured. Not physically. I fed her and stepped back outside into the carnage. I almost collapsed like Anna when I saw my husband. They severed his leg, a clean cut straight through the femur. A massive gash was all that was left of his beautiful face, a deflated eyeball dangling from the gore. I fainted then, even before I saw Lauren. Before I had time to process the bodies of Panther, Espinoza, and Elwyn.

Abbey must have seen Henderson right away. It was just the three of us to start, Abbey, Henderson, and me. Abbey is beautiful and diligent but Henderson was always the best of us. She never faltered, not even once. I'd wager not even at the end, watching her friends bleed out on the dirt by her side. The way Wesley talks about that day, Abbey just threw her charge lance to the ground and walked towards the scyther. I guess she wanted to die too.

Wesley was stoic as ever. He crushed the mech's face and set about burying our friends and family. Another cruel coincidence, this mausoleum we had nearly finished. "Just in case," Espinoza had said at the proposal meeting. Just in case.

I don't know how we'll rebuild. Anna hasn't spoken in weeks. I'm grateful she survived, but most days I feel as though I lost both my daughters that day. Abbey has been burning the art and furniture, "so they'll have nothing left to destroy." Wesley seems to be the only one interested in survival. I can't even bear to look at my research, let alone the skeleton of the ship. After all, the Rim has taken everything from me. How could I leave without repaying the favor?

- Diary of Pepper, Scientist

2nd Decembary 5505