#to bump the price down to £4 and mention in the description that the press studs are broken. because i know it’ll come up in a review

[bearseungmin]

loose or tight fitting? (M)

The laughter you’ve received from your wardrobe has managed to bring you down, and a quick trip to a decent store seems to solve your problems. But when an extravagant new place catches your attention and an employee notices you’re overwhelmed, it’s only fate that he helps accommodate you with new lingerie.

DETAILS — [ 18+ | ricochet series | 4.2k ] PAIRING — retail employee! quickie! hyunjin x gender-neutral! reader GENRES — smut, romance WARNINGS — mature content, mentions of mannequins, huge flirt hyunjin SMUT WARNINGS — sexual content, deep make-outs, dom! hyunjin, fingering, dirty-talking, mirror/reflection kink, overstimulation do not interact with this if you are under 18.

previous | ricochet masterlist | next

[4:18 p.m] - Thursday, April 16th

If you've ever heard the quote "The underwear you're wearing will tell you what kind of day you're going to have.", you've also probably laughed at the same saying. No one ever thinks hard enough about the underwear they put on unless it has to do with a specific outfit. So why had your friends once mentioned that yours would be embarrassing to wind up in while about to have sex with someone?

Comfort over design had always been a huge part of choosing any article of clothing, be it underwear or anything larger. The talk was talk, you knew it was meant to be funny. But at the same time you found yourself taking a trip to the closest store that sold lingerie in your price range.

Nothing but hot cheeks and wide eyes, the brand new place was more intimidating than you had anticipated. Walls lined with racks and displays, a detailed description of each item up on the wall to give you names of each piece—the prices always ironically hidden on the tags, which were also pressed into the fabric in an attempt for the customers to fall for the item and buy without thinking. A manufactured space made to make you nervous, the feeling and ideas of any of the clothing you set eyes on being layered onto your form making your breath run quick.

The original purpose of underwear was to give an extra layer of clothing to keep the outer layer from rubbing against the most sensitive areas of your body. Why was lace so see-through? Who in their right mind would wear white on a regular basis. What, if any of this, was meant to be used on you to seduce anyone you ever had the chance to show it to?

Tables rounded the room, the same neatly folded pieces set out also shown on headless mannequins to give more of the temptation of purchase in your head. You didn't know where to start, everything so well fitted, so specific—you needed a map just to get around the small shop and find a single thing that accommodated you well.

So distracted by all of the fabric around you, the lulled sound of the employee moving behind you went unnoticed. A frame tall into the air, an unsteady stack of new slips in his arms, the poor man found a bump on the road when his elbow caught your side. Clothing tumbling down, the blank expression on his face instantly turned white from shock. Silent, stuck, it was up to you to break such an awkward run-in.

"I'm sorry! Here, let me help." Name tag on his tight turtleneck sweater, the man named Hyunjin only continued to stare at you. Like a deer caught in the headlights, the blush that flooded his face when you finally found a grasp on all of the clothes and moved to place them into his arms shivered him back into reality.

"This isn't the section for you." Voice a little louder than the music over the speakers, Hyunjin seemed to swim in his own head.

"Excuse me?" No attitude on your tongue, the confusion made your smile fall to a frown, the man quickly shaking his head.

"You're new at this, aren't you?"

An employee stuck in his workspace for too long, he leaped from foot to foot as he shuffled the silk slips in his arms.

"Is it that obvious?"

Discovering the smooth fabric deep within the skinny pile, he lifted the item and held it out towards you. "Take this."

His lengthy frame pushed past you to set the silked pile down onto the checkout counter, idly folding each one back into a neat stack. All while you stood dumbfounded by the article he handed you, you saw him twisting in your peripheral and looking back towards your direction every few seconds to see if you were still near.

A black slip, laced hinges thick enough to not be completely see-through. Hyunjin had handed you an item that fit your criteria, but it wasn't what you set out to get.

"I—uhm-" You stuttered, so nervous that even your voice shook. Hyunjin kept his back to you until the last slip was refolded, placed on top of the stack, and lifted back into his taut arms. A cocked brow sent your way, he brushed by you without a word. Finding the original place he was headed before he rammed into you, that same place being the display just in front of the table you stood at, he seemed to ignore you. "H-Hyun-"

His bottom lip sunk between his teeth in tandem with his swiveling heels, the wind created by the man's movement enough to make you stop talking. Delightful perfume on his skin, he twisted and turned past the table where you stood until he was face to face with you.

"Yes?"

"I need something else besides this." Your voice was long gone in the presence of the beautiful man. Skin glowing and seemingly just as smooth as the silk in between your fingers, his smile grew by a thousand. Teeth perfectly aligned, hair almost down to his shoulders and neatly done—he looked official to such a nice store, but his patience for customer service ran thin.

"Underwear." He read your mind, your brows knitting as he shuffled around you.

The exchange was so odd that you stood still like he had minutes before. No one else inside—not even another employee or a manager, you were set on blast while alone with the tall, handsome man guiding you into the realm that is sexual under-clothing. The funny part is, you didn't seem to mind.

"Black." His eyes glanced at you for a solid second before his fingertips pranced across the fabric on a table a few feet over. Sizes and variety, details and developments—his index finger and thumb pulled at a single pair of panties, lifting them like they were sacred. "Lace trim, not see-through."

Sometimes when you go out into the world, you usually find your way into a store or business. Even there you can tell who had been on the morning shift and was begging to get off by the time you showed up. That exact situation was the experience you were currently having.

"Black looks good on everyone." Hyunjin's smile was almost painted, eyes blunt and focused on your hand taking the underwear. His tongue dipped over his plump bottom lip, the skin of his mouth now redder than when you first saw him due to his constant sucking. "Do you like it?"

It was the first time he had been genuinely curious about your opinion. The employee's eyes were darker when you lifted both the slip and underwear up into their light to see. A pull of your arms back to your torso let the fabric brush over you, each article held against you to check if it looked accurate to what you had hoped for. By the grin overlapping his mouth, Hyunjin was completely convinced he had hit the nail with this one.

Elapsed time making you peer over the other tables, he took in a deep breath as his palms ran over his prodding hip bones, your eyes flashing to follow his hands. Met with something so fresh, your body began to grow hyperactive of the man's body aroused over you holding onto the lingerie. A thick line in his pants, the bottoms tight to his lower half as it was, he clearly had a boner. You couldn't help but stare, the new line of your sexual education now being led by the fact that you gave a complete stranger a boner without even trying to seduce him.

And the look in his eyes read that he couldn't even be considered at fault for this, your form shivering in the cold air of the store. "See something else you want?"

Some people were just made with the fiber of confidence, and others were attracted to it.

"I—t-think this will do."

His tongue prodded at his bitten lips once more, a faint smirk pulling at the corners as he spoke. "I believe you could go for something else too--you know since you're already here."

"H-Have anything on sale?"

"I have the perfect thing for you."

[5:02 p.m] - Thursday, April 16th

Time moves slower when you're standing at a checkout counter. Hyunjin's fingers dragged along your own to take the silk underwear from you, the tags pulled by his same digits to scan them. Payment method made easy, his eyes peered over you as you pulled the card from your wallet. Slow as paint drying, you watched his breathing visibly stutter at the second touch of your hand to take the card.

So contagious, the way his anxiousness turned to courage and slipped right into your lungs in the cloud of air he released. The same guy you watched stand idle, emotionless, was the same one with the forever smirk on his lips when his eyes flashed darker in the dimmed lights of the lingerie store.

"You know-" Maimed lips from his recurring bite made to his bottom lip, the skin throbbing and sore. "Since you've paid for these, you could try them on now."

Where's the line between being hot and being creepy? Hyunjin had surpassed all of the red flags given by someone with cruel intentions. He kept his distance, hardly touched you, even listened keenly to your voice each time you spoke. So where was the line, and how long had you been past it, yourself?

"Say no." His voice rose so loud, echoing in the empty store, maybe even out to the parking lot turning orange from the sunset.

Every atmosphere could be considered suffocating, but with a large counter between you and the hardened length in Hyunjin's pants—why let the universe decide what's right and what's wrong?

"Where do you want me?" The question seemed to slip his mind, face falling along with his smirk until his sight dashed past you. A corner decorated with posters and such, the hall held a sign. "Dressing room, Hyunjin?"

"Go." Voice an octave lower, you spun on your heels and made your way back through the curves of the circled tables. Closing in on the small rooms meant for only clothes to be tried on, you didn't have to contemplate what was bound to happen this evening.

There's something so provocative about letting the chips fall where they may. Hyunjin tailing you, his long legs found you in a short amount of time. Your shirt caught by his long fingers and pulled from your back, he drew you backwards into his front with a halt.

"How much room do you think we'd need?"

"Big, for fun." You grinned back at him, his eyes rolling in response. The impelling man led you on, physically and mentally.

Another thing to enjoy about this time of life, no one ever knows what their sexual partners want until words are exchanged. The beauty of giving yourself to someone, you didn't want to be in control of the wheel here.

Your body pressed into the small room, Hyunjin stood in the doorway as he watched you turn to face him. The items curled into his fingers, he bent into the space for a second to hand them to you before shutting the skinny door.

"Where are you going?" Your frown caught him just as the door shut into its frame, his chuckle deep from the other side.

"Oh," He cackled softly. "Am I not allowed to enjoy the surprise?"

Clothes pulled from your limbs, your skin felt so bare as you tugged on the soft buy. Hyunjin had shifted things so easily around you, finding pieces that fit you as if you had always had them. But to you, they were still new.

If lingerie was a necessity for intercourse, for sex, even appeal—where would we be? The black silk gave your body such a disguise, lace trim giving you a bolt of determination through your veins. This was a layer not naturally felt. Everyone experiences the elation of putting on new clothes, the rush of wearing them in public for attraction and reassurance. But as the door split from the frame to show Hyunjin, you finally knew the power of lingerie.

The man had fallen back into one of the soft chairs, his hand gliding over his hard cock in his pants. He was stuttering to himself, eyes shut and focused on what you looked like in the outfit—had he opened his eyes wide sooner, he might have cum from the idea alone.

His eyelids broke, pupils blown in the light of the hall as he adjusted himself. A clearing of his throat brought him back to face you, your form stood in the doorway more lost than when you entered the store.

"Wow-" His bitten lips pressed flat, a groan muffled by the plumpness of his mouth. He drove up from the seat, body rising up until he towered before you. So close, his hand reached out to touch before he met your quivering lips. "How does it feel?"

"How is it meant to feel?"

His laughter brought a smile to your face, shaking limbs being held at your sides when his gripping fingers moved to hold your arms. Pushing you backwards, he bent forward, lips so close to your own. "I can make you feel even better than this."

"Then do it and stop staring."

Your back was pressed into reflective glass, the cold ache of the material making you hiss. His lips found rapture in your own, your bottom lip pulled between his teeth in a gentle lip for him to pull back and hear the skin push back against your line of teeth.

Tongue finding his mouth, you ran the wet muscle across the plumpness of his lips. Distressed skin holding the taste of metal, you moaned into his mouth. Hyunjin's hand at your lower back arched you into him, opposite separating your thighs for him to press into you.

The feeling of the silk on your body seemed to make him drunk, his kisses moving from your face to your jawline down to your neck where he released a deep groan. A single movement into him made his cock throb, length aligned with you so well that you felt a rush of your own arousal growing. His palm flew to his face, tongue lapping a thick stripe from the bottom line of his hand to his fingertips.

Admitting Hyunjin had a way with you made you feel guilty, the glowing man currently sinking his hand into the same underwear you just purchased twisting something inside of you. Not a breaking point, not even a learning curve, empiricism came with its own lingering feelings of gluttony and desperation.

"This fabric on you." A grunt from him made your hips back into his agonizingly slow hand, fingertips running across you like a new brush on a canvas.

"H-Hyunjin, please." Tongue begging, panting out his name, you saw the same look in his eyes from when you held the fabric up to your frame. "These touches-" You almost hiccuped from the lack of oxygen, the small room preoccupied with the noises you both released and the wet sounds the man created from his saliva-coated hand pressing against you. "-not enough, Hyunjin."

"You want more?" The disastrous man seemed to become more and more ignited every time your voice broke.

When his name fell out of your mouth you watched his free hand undo the buttons of his pants, the zipper half down before he was letting the fabric fall past his thighs and to his ankles. His length stood out from his thin body, protruding cock throbbing the second his hand entrapped it and ran along his shaft. "Tell me what you want or I can't give it to you, sweetheart."

You shivered at the name, eyes blinking quickly as the lights blinded you. Going brighter than they had been when you seemed stable, his index finger curled through the middle of the underwear, pressing the fabric to the side to run his length through your wetness. The scent of sex in the air and the feeling of his warm breath against your skin—you pushed past him to grip at your bag, a condom displayed between your fingers when you rose back to stand.

"No silk underwear, but condoms stashed inside your bag to go with you everywhere." His voice was dark, your body trying to stray from the extra rush you felt from the vibrations of his chest pressing into yours. Vibrant in such a darkened space, he spoke again. "Word of advice," He claimed, fingertips running the rubbed down his length. "Start carrying extra underwear around with you if you're going to be naughty like this often."

He pushed into you so swiftly, the feeling of his fingers connecting with the places his cock couldn't make you ache with pleasure. As soft as his skin, he sunk into you until he felt you throb around his rubber-protected length, pulling back out to run his tip through your added wetness from the lubricated condom until you settled. Every part of your body shaking from the duration of his cock brought a wicked grin to his face, his hand lifting your leg up to his waist to press into you deeper.

Intimacy is such a sensitive topic; when meshed with sex—the entire conversation is out the window. But with one hand at your back, the other leaving crescents from his nails into the back of your thigh, intimacy was Hyunjin pulling out of you and spinning you around to see what he found at your back.

"Look." Whispered into your ear, your eyes pried open to find a sight most welcomed.

Mirror fogged, stained with the oils and sweat from your skin until you were almost a drawn pattern on the reflective glass—Hyunjin had you staring into his eyes from behind you. The wetness of the lubricated condom mixed with your own arousal and Hyunjin's saliva sopping from within you, he pushed back in. Your eyes fell shut and clenched almost as tight as your walls did around him, the feeling making him grunt and ram up into you with full force.

You awaited the feeling of his hands brushing into your hair, rocking your head back, and forcing you to stare at him through the mirror. But he didn't, the man behind you finding so much passion in seeing you be within yourself while he fucked into you that he couldn't help but whine. Voice broken, hips flailing into you, he brushed a spot that had your knees giving and body falling.

He found placement on your hips, your hands falling to the steamed mirror for support. The thin frame of the glass wobbled with each thrust, his voice shaking from behind you.

"Fuck, are you always tight like this? You come in for something that looks as pretty as this does on you-" He groaned, looking at you through the stains of the mirror as you finally looked to match him. Your body hunched, his hips snapping into you with deep thrusts. The fabric of the silk lingerie so smooth against your skin and clinging to you like it was made for you; Hyunjin was right, black does look good on anyone, especially you when he was plowing inside your walls. "-and suddenly you're getting fucked by an employee. How do you feel? Being such a little mess like this for me?"

"It feels nice-" You hissed at the throbbing of his cock, length barreling into you as you clenched around him for a final time. Your body was fully pushed against the ice-cold mirror, shivering and shaking as you came on his cock. "H-Hyun-" Your lips quivered. "-jin."

"Say it louder." He growled, your body milking him as his cum leaked into the condom around him. The warm feeling of him finishing inside of you, the comfort of knowing the condom kept you safe, you weren't just a mess—you were a full-on, frightful mess.

"Hyunjin!" You cried out, his cock leaving the heat of your walls as he fell back into the doorframe of the dressing room. Just was worn out as you, his skin glistened with sweat. Beautiful locks matted to his skin, the fingertips of his right hand pulled them away, shaking his head to gather a breeze to cool down. A proud grin on his face, he stood with his cock still throbbing in his hand as he watched you regain balance on your weakened legs.

"How do you feel about your purchase now?"

"I think I'm going to need a new pair of underwear thanks to you, Hyunjin." You stared sternly, feeling the puddle of your own orgasm seeping into the silk fabric when you pulled it back over your crotch. "A few new pairs, actually."

His smirk slowly fell into a smile, pink cheeks being shadowed by the tilt of his head. A glimpse in the mirror of himself broke the bright glow on his face, two fingers pressing the strands of his hair back behind his ear in a state of embarrassment. Mouth moving sideways, he found you staring up at him, clothing you wore to the store now pulled over the underwear and the slip sprawled out to hang over your arm like a coat.

The click of the door in its frame brought you back to your own body, legs moving to follow Hyunjin out and down the hall. Hollowed mind focused on the softness of the fabric over your arm, his tall frame shifted across the store towards a separate display you hadn't noticed before.

"You seem like-" Jittered voice rocking with the sway in his anxious motions, the man's confidence subsided back to the employee you ran into. "-you're in the middle of something."

"What do you mean?"

He seemed to see right through you. Was it this easy to tell when someone is trying to be more sexually active, playing out their days in the focus of physical contact with another?

"You have a box of condoms in your bag." he laughed. "And you're here for lingerie, not just the soft sweatshirts and pants most people slip in to buy because they're too ashamed to explore anything else we sell here." He seemed to have you figured out, the attentive employee well put into his position inside the store.

"W-What else do you sell?" You questioned, eyeing the store like it was still another dimension—as if you hadn't just had sex in the dressing room.

So captured by the employee, Hyunjin had taken all of your attention and diminished your sight of the long wall adjacent to where you stood. A line of sex toys, belts, and whips—when you first appeared inside the store you would have never imagined you walked into a sex shop.

You weren't one for objects to use, the contact with another human being what you craved. But the vibrators, cuffs, even the whips gave you an eerie shiver paired with a tight feeling in your gut. The world is so large and filled with common things to use in love and sexual moments—your close-minded way of thinking causing you to stare a little too hard at the wall before you caught yourself and peered around.

And then it hit you.

"Wait-" Voice louder than you meant it to be, his head turned towards you instinctively to hear your concern. "Where is everyone?"

You thought about it but never actually mentioned the oddly empty store. With the streetlights surrounding the stores all around, aligning the parking lot—you realized it was late.

"Ah," His laugh was light from the movement of his tongue, muscle pressed into the roof of his mouth like he never thought you'd notice.

As professional as Hyunjin was, there were little ticks of the man you could see from a mile. His habits so outwards, expressions bottled, words wicked and heavy, he laughed like you had long been friends.

His grin was so playful, lips parting with the words like he had been waiting to say them all evening. "We closed at four, I just let you in because I'm a good employee who likes sweet little customers that let me play with them."

Hyunjin smiled, so proud of himself and complete—all while you stood in the same amount of entrancement he catered you with.

"Now, how about some more underwear, and maybe a few of those other things we sell?"

TAG LIST: @notartsegunda @linours​ @justamessofablog​ @verobibble​ @necromancersupreme​ @loveliebri​ @clownscloud​ @itsnat09​ @licorne-manon​ @riajae​ @freckledquokka​ @alydanielle93​ @hanflix​ @dom--minnie​ @a-place-to-dissociate​ @seungisms​​

[soobadnoonecanstopher]

The Price of Privilege - Part 14 (A Kyungsoo Series)

Genre: Angst / Romance / Arranged Marriage / Royalty AU

Characters: Kyungsoo X You 

 Description: The time has come to marry the man your family has selected to take your hand. As royalty, these important matters are arranged for you, but when you meet your soon to be husband, he is nothing like you expected.

The Price of Privilege [M]: - part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8 , part 9 , part 10 , part 11, part 12 , part 13 , part 14, part 15

*******TRIGGER WARNING********

  Mentions of Suicide. 

*********TW TW TW**********

    Your search this time was different.

  This time, as you ran down the hallways of this palace, your feet carried you with a sense of purpose and direction. 

  Baekhyun had given you instructions, actual orders for where you were to go and even if you did not want to name it as such, Baekhyun had given you something else to desperately cling on to. 

  Hope. 

Not once, in your recent memory had you felt that. Not really. Not like this. You would find Kyungsoo, because you had to. You owed him an apology and an explanation and you owed it to him to give him the evidence you had uncovered that exonerated him. You owed him so much. 

  Your noisy footsteps echoed around the deserted corridor that led to Kyungsoo’s kitchen and you’d laid a flat palm over the cold steel of that heavy door, poised to push it wide open — the quickest search here, and then you would move to the roof as Baekhyun had instructed you to. Only, which roof would you begin with? This palace was huge and had several levels where roof access could be reached by staircase or elevator. It didn't matter, you would begin with the access closest to you and move on to the next. You would not pause in your steps until you had caught sight of Prince Kyungsoo. Until he was safe and sound. 

  Your momentum paused for but a moment when the kitchen came up as empty as it had been when you vacated it hours earlier. That was before, when Ara had dropped her latest bombshell over your head and no amount of evasive maneuvering could keep you safe from it. 

  But everything felt different now. 

  You didn't have time to dwell on it. You had to find him now so he could know the truth about his mother. He had to know the truth about the queen he served so blindly. He had to know the truth about May and the baby that was alive and well inside her belly. The man had been lied to on so many different levels and by so many people — your skin prickled with the chill of the air around you as you burst through the fourth floor rooftop with the sparkling swimming pool. The water was motionless, the air here eerily quiet and windless and the reflection of the bright white round face of the moon from the surface of the water was the only face to greet you up here — you spun on your heels, ripping the door open and pushing your legs to run faster with the determination that you had inside of you for the truth you carried on your tongue. The truths you would reveal to him the moment you had a chance to look into his big brown eyes and begin your confessions. 

  Your legs were buzzing with the effort. Only this buzzing did not feel like your muscles complaining, this felt more external. It took you an honest-to-god second to realize the buzzing was actually outside of your body and coming from the cell phone that you had tucked into the front pants pocket of the bride-to-be pajamas you still wore. 

  The text notification lit up the screen, the two messages that sat heavy on the screen of your cell phone were from Baekhyun. 

  “Garage,” read the first message. A single word that immediately sent you away from the hallway you had just reached and spun you around toward the staircase you had just passed.

  The second text message lit a fire inside of you and you pushed your legs faster than you had ever run, skipping multiple stairs at a time, paying little attention to the burning inside your lungs and and pain you felt when you stepped wrong off the bottom step of the second floor. 

  “Hurry.”

  You did not bother opening the texts. You could see the urgency from the notifications. You could certainly feel the sinking feeling inside your guts when you read them.

  As you grew closer though, to the clean white hallway that led to that garage. That place where you and May had played grand theft auto in real life, driving his fancy black car over the shrubs that lined the curvy driveway, as the memories returned to your hazy mind, something else came back to you. It was an unwelcome invader, this fear that returned to you full force and brought back the familiar trembling in your limbs and hands and fingers. 

  You swallowed hard and tried to push the fear down, but a sinking feeling pulled inside of you when you tried to swallow the fear. It felt like a vacuum had been turned on inside of you and despite the urgency you knew of this situation, you knew there was simply no time for your nerves or your fear to have any place right now, you still had to grip the door handle twice to get your hands to stop shaking enough to open the door.

  Inside the garage was a cloud.

  The garage door was open but the cloud lingered, hazy and white all around and sounds came from deeper in the large open space, around the other side of the slick black car that felt so familiar to you.

  Human sounds. 

  The sounds of great effort touched against your ears and made the hairs on the back of your neck prickle. Dread traveled with quick spindly fingertips along the skin of your scalp. It made you shiver. 

  A man and his voice. A single man, cursing, grunting, huffs of breath but there was no other voice to respond to him.

  You had made it around the car by now and someone was there, just there, on the ground. 

  Two feet. 

  Two legs.

  A person you knew.

  It was a person that you knew.

  One sock, the other foot bare — but the person lying on the ground was so still, save for the occasional jostle from the man who curved his own body above him.

  He — Kyungsoo...

  Kyungsoo was on his back, his eyes closed, his shoes gone, where were they? You could see inside of his car, see the door still open and the engine turned off. Keys dropped where your feet stepped. You’d nearly trotted on them. You had to step over them as you moved. 

  You could see a pair of black Nikes carefully placed side by side onto the passenger seat only where was the driver? Why were his shoes set there so carefully? Where was his other sock? 

  “Is this how you fix it, you stupid fucking asshole? You spineless coward! You fucking pussy!” 

  Why wasn’t he answering Baekhyun? Why wasn’t he calling him nasty names back. The Prince Kyungsoo you knew would never take such insults hurled at him, and by his own brother. You’d seen plenty of their interactions in the past to know that Baekhyun would have had his neck grabbed and the back of his head slapped many times for this. 

  “You dumb, selfish, piece of shit. How dare you?”

  But Kyungsoo...

  Kyungsoo—

  “God-fucking-dammit, you stupid son of a bitch, open your eyes! This isn’t how you solve it! This isn’t the way!” 

  Between the grunts, between the pauses in his motions with his hands pressing down onto his brother‘s chest, Baekhyun was cursing. Baekhyun was screaming. Baekhyun was yelling at the top of his lungs. Begging for the man on the floor to wake up and smack him for his insolence. 

  Baekhyun was talking to you. 

  Baekhyun knew you were here and Baekhyun was saying something to you. You could not bring your legs to move. You could not bring your ears to sharpen to the words he said to you. All you could see were the five toes on the end of that bare foot that did not move at all.

  Kyungsoo was on his back on the cold concrete, his shoes sitting carefully side by side on the passenger seat of his car and now he was not opening his eyes. One sock off of his foot. It had to be so cold. He had to be very cold without his shoes on. He looked almost blue from how cold it was inside his garage with the door open. 

  Baekhyun bent his head down to Kyungsoo’s face and covered his lips with his own. 

  It looked like a kiss. 

  Kyungsoo’s eyes did not open. He did not lift a hand to slap his brother away from him. He did not push angrily at Baekhyun’s shoulders when their lips touched. The white cloud was clearing and you could see too clearly. 

  Kyungsoo’s eyes did not open. His color was wrong. 

  You didn't want to do this anymore.

  -

  You don’t want to talk about this anymore.

  -

  You don't want to talk about it anymore.

  -

  They had you all wrong. 

You were a coward.

  -

  Baekhyun shouted at you. Calling you by your first name, not your title. You did not move and you did not look away from his bare foot. 

  A shove came from behind. Someone moving swiftly past you bumped against your back and the motion threw you off your balance, sending you down to your knees where they hit the concrete hard. The jolt of pain surged through you and you felt as if you’d just woken from a dream. Only in front of you, the nightmare continued. 

  “I found the black bag,” Ara’s voice said to Baekhyun and he motioned with his chin for her to set it down beside him and open it up for him to see inside. She didn't seem to notice you had fallen. 

  “Speak to him,” Baekhyun said and Ara kneeled beside her prince with her hands fisted tightly in her lap. 

  “Y-Your Highness?” Her voice called out softly. You could hear the tremble. You could hear the terror and grief.

  “You hear that, you jerk? You made Ara cry. Open your stupid eyes already.” Baekhyun’s approach had changed now. He did not quit the efforts he made with his hands over his brother’s chest, yet his voice sounded less angry and less lively. He sounded tired. He sounded broken.

  Ara turned suddenly to look at you. Her face was streaked with tears and her eyes widened as if she only now realized who you were and that you were also here, living out this real life hell with her. She crawled away from her Lord, reaching for you with outstretched hands and she gripped tightly around your forearms and she pulled. You did not fight it. She had a sudden light of determination in her eyes as she did it and you could feel the rough floor scrape against your knees through the thin fabric of your pajamas. 

  “Your highness, the princess is here — say something to him, hurry,” Ara’s eyes pleaded and she placed your hands on his still body. 

  He was warm. 

He was so warm. You wanted to weep with the living temperature of his skin that you could feel below the fabric of the white dress shirt he wore. You followed the path of his arm down to reach for his hand and you held it within both of your own and you let your words free from your chest. 

  “Kyungsoo,” you called and you squeezed his hand inside of your own. 

  Baekhyun bent down to Kyungsoo’s face again, breathing into his parted lips and you could see the effect of it, as his chest lifted with the motion and you lifted Kyungsoo’s hand up to your mouth to feel the warmth in his skin with your lips.

  “Kyungsoo, please wake up. Please,” you begged and you squeezed. His skin was warm. He was here, all he had to do was open his eyes and you would give anything. You would give up your title. You would give up the life you had known. You would do anything not to lose him. 

  “Kyungsoo, please, I can't do this without you. Please wake up.” 

  With the breath Baekhyun had loaned him you saw his chest lift up, and then you watched his chest fall flat again and you leaned closer to his face so he might hear your voice more clearly as you spoke against his temple. 

  You gave him a truth. 

The first of many you vowed to give him. A truth so scary and so vulnerable, you hadn’t dared to speak of it even to yourself for fear of what it meant.

  “I love you, Kyungsoo. Please know that I love you.” You whispered this right into his ear and his chest that had fallen flat remained so for a spell as your confession, your first truth, drifted over his face and soaked into his skin.

  Your hands that squeezed did not waver in their grip and you gasped, you gasped out loud because you felt something in that moment. With your truth out, and it’s cleansing wave that coursed over your chest — in that exact moment you absolutely swore he squeezed your hand back. 

  You felt him. You felt him.

  Then you heard the gasp. It was rough and painful sounding and Kyungsoo gasped loudly as his entire body shook and trembled with the effort. 

  Immediately after the first gasp, came a loud cough and another violent gasp for breath and Kyungsoo inhaled too hard, too desperately for oxygen. He was shaking all over his body and Baekhyun dug through his bag for something; a tiny tank with a mask and rubber tubing. He was putting something over Kyungsoo’s face and Kyungsoo was swinging his free hand out, swatting, fighting, trying to get the better of the grim reaper who had surely had most of his talons in him. You held on to his hand with both of your hands, refusing to let go of him for even a second, should that demon return and try and finish what he had started. 

  “Shhh,” Baekhyun called out softly, “Kyungsoo, it’s me.” Kyungsoo’s eyes were still closed, despite the fight he was putting up. He struck out once, connecting with Baekhyun’s shoulder and you heard the grunt as Baekhyun absorbed the blow. 

  “It’s Baekhyun, you idiot!” 

  Another swing of his arm went from mindless to purposeful as Kyungsoo reached for the collar of the shirt Baekhyun wore and his fist wrapped tightly around the fabric and he pulled him down to where he laid flat on his back on the floor of this garage. 

  “Baek—”

  Kyungsoo’s hoarse voice broke through as his eyelids pulled halfway open. He rolled his eyes back into his head and closed them up again and he was reeling with the shock of it all. 

  Your grip around his hand was so tight, you felt like you might be squeezing him too hard so you loosened the tight grip but you felt the squeeze he gave your hand in return. With his eyes closed still you could hold him like this. 

  An overwhelming gratitude hit you; to hear him talking, to see the steady rise and fall of his chest as he breathed in and out and you lifted that hand up to your mouth and you pressed your lips against the back of his hand again and again. 

  The jolt of watching him turn to face you, and the cool of being caught by him as his eyes opened and he looked at you; still blinking heavily, still fighting to keep his eyes open long enough for recognition to hit him and he gasped once, in surprise, when it did— it made you drop his hand. It made you let go of him. 

  His hand did not fall, for he had more strength inside of him than you had inside of you. His hand remained lifted near your face where you had let go of him and you were absolutely frozen when his hand opened up and you felt the warmth of his palm land over your cheek. You even felt a brush of his thumb over the wetness below your eye. 

  “Kyungsoo,” you called out to him and his eyes drifted away from you again. He’d let go of the vice grip he had on Baekhyun’s collar and slipped his hand slowly down his brother’s chest and he lifted a hand to run it down the front of Baekhyun’s chest once more. 

  Baekhyun was busy. Despite the small silent thanks you saw in Kyungsoo’s actions, Baekhyun was attaching things around Kyungsoo’s arm, listening with a stethoscope pressed to different parts of his arm, to his chest; shining bright lights on the end of a pen into pulled eyelids; assessing the damage, checking and measuring, formulating a plan. 

  “Ara,” Baekhyun called out without looking up from his cell phone where he was furiously swiping and typing, “close the garage door and remove every bit of evidence that anything happened here.” 

  She sprung up from where she had been curled into a nervous ball by Kyungsoo’s head and she leapt first to the button near the entry doorway to close the garage door. 

  Kyungsoo had given in to his closing eyelids and his hand had fallen from your face on its own as he drifted away from you again. 

  “Help me get him up, we have to bring him inside. He destroyed the cameras in here already but inside we will be seen. He’s just very drunk, okay? Too much partying before the wedding.” 

  You looked up instinctively toward the corners of the garage where you would place a camera if you wanted to get a good view of the room and sure enough, the camera there had been smashed by something heavy. Bits of broken black plastic were scattered around the floor below. 

  “Shouldn’t we take him to the hospital, Baek?” Your concern was cresting and he merely shook his head and you helped lift the weight of the unconscious man and draped one of his arms over your shoulder to mirror the way Baekhyun did on the other side. Kyungsoo’s legs were no help and the man was heavy, but Baekhyun was surprisingly strong and you found that he carried most of his brother’s weight for you. 

  “No Hospitals. I called someone,” Baekhyun said with a grimace on his face and you entered the hallway dragging Kyungsoo’s heavy weight as best as you could. “Someone. A doctor I know who can keep a uhh… a secret.” 

  “Baekhyun...you didn’t call him, did you? I thought he didn’t know who you really were.”

  “I don't really have any other choice right now. This is beyond my skill set and he’s my brother.” 

  Ara followed behind, with Kyungsoo’s shoes in one hand, a long black dress sock in the other and her head bowed with a grave look on her face. Her breathing was shallow and she did not look up at you as you looked upon her from behind. 

  Your home was the closest to the garage and you rushed to open your door so you could help Baekhyun bring Kyungsoo into your bed. 

  Baekhyun disappeared to your bathroom where you heard water running and then he was back, digging through his black bag again, this time pulling out several small white packages, all marked as sterile, some larger than others. He pulled blue gloves on his hands and there were tubes and a bag filled with clear liquid, a long scary looking needle and he asked you to hold Kyungsoo’s arm out and to hold it still.

  You just did as you were told; still too numbed by the trauma in the garage. Still too haunted by the cold stillness you’d seen in Kyungsoo as he laid motionless on that concrete floor. That particular shade of his skin invaded your mind’s eye again and again and you flinched when a tissue landed over the back of your hand that held on firmly to Kyungsoo’s arm so Baekhyun could put in an IV. 

  You had been crying. You hadn’t even realized it. Someone had just handed you a tissue to wipe your tears before they could run down your face and drip all over the bed below you. 

  You’d expected Ara or Baekhyun to be the deliverer. What you saw when you pulled your eyes up from the spot where the needle had been covered up with white medical tape: what stole your breath from within your lungs and replaced it with an absolute void of any sort of certainty, were two eyes watching you from the pillow of your bed. 

  There had been a tissue box beside the bed, easily reached by his other arm. Kyungsoo was watching you without a single word spoken on his lips and he blinked his eyes slowly as you quickly wiped away the wetness on your face. 

  The IV was in, more tubing was stretched across his face and inserted into his nostrils so he could breathe and his eyes closed again, only this time it looked to be more deliberate than earlier when you were carrying him out of the garage. You could make out slight movements of his eyeballs under his closed lids and he inhaled a deep breath and held it for a moment before the exhale sent him into a fit of ragged coughs that pulled Baekhyun’s face up from his ringing cell phone. 

  Baekhyun answered and you were handed a glass of water by Ara. You wondered at her weird standoffish behavior now. You accepted the water and moved closer to where Kyungsoo’s coughing seemed to be winding down now to help him drink. 

  Baekhyun was gone. You’d missed his exit with the coughing. Ara — you looked around to find her gone as well; bowed out for a moment of quiet clarity perhaps. She’d been through a lot as well, and her silent deference to you, you could not quite define, but something felt different in the way she looked into your face now. 

  You set the glass down and Kyungsoo’s eyes followed where you moved to the bedside table. Your focus was down on the floor beside the bed. Here you found his shoes and folded carefully and inside his shoe was that single black dress sock. 

  It felt like a compulsion; to put him back together the way he should have always been. He was a prince in line to the throne for fuck’s sake. He was your fiancé and future husband to be. He was the man you loved. You reached for the sock and his eyes followed you as you carefully stretched it over the skin of his bare foot, patting lightly over the top of his foot to be sure it was smoothed out and free of annoying wrinkles. 

  You were fussing now. Bringing his shoes off the floor and setting them on the chair beside your bed and when you were certain they were neat and tidy you moved to the blankets you kept on the bench at the foot of your large bed. 

  You covered him and when you brought the blanket up over his chest you saw him move before you felt the warmth of his hand grab ahold of yours and those silent eyes did not leave your face once since he’d woken back up. 

  Your steps froze with the contact. 

  Your heartbeat inside your chest was annoyingly noisy. Your own breathing, gave away how incredibly anxious you felt and you wanted to cover your mouth to keep yourself in control. You did not dare move though. Something about the intensity in his eyes kept you trapped in this.

  “Stay,” he spoke, at last and you closed your eyes with the tiniest request he whispered to you. Just one word, and you felt as if your legs might refuse to keep you upright any longer. 

  In fact, you sat down heavily into a chair you’d pulled beside the bed. 

  You looked into his face again and his eyes remained on you, steadfast and urgent. 

  You nodded your head once and you heard the exhale from his chest. An exhale of relief. 

  His eyes closed again and they stayed that way as you held on to his hand long enough for his tight grip to loosen. 

  He was asleep when Baekhyun returned wearing a sheer head wrap around the top of his head and looped back around to cover the bottom half of his face. No time for makeup tonight. You recognized the panicky way he looked into your eyes and the way his voice changed and lifted told you that Dr. Dante, his sometimes on-again, off-again something had arrived to check on the patient. 

  “Baekhee, I just don't understand how you found yourself in this situation — with a member of the royal family, no less. That non-disclosure agreement you made me sign sounded very scary too. What kind of emergency are we talking about? From exhaustion?” 

  You heard them coming before the first glimpse of them. Baekhyun had arrived through the doorway first and motioned to his visitor behind him. 

  “Oh you know...royals.” Baekhyun waved a dismissive hand in the air, faking confidence as best he could but you could hear the nerves manifest with the awkward way he forced a laugh. “Anyway, he’s in here.” Baekhyun’s voice trailed off and none of Dante’s original questions were ever answered. Baekhyung had aimed for flippant and unaffected but it fell flat. You heard only desperation and fear. 

  Dante arrived, looking as familiar as could be without wearing his white doctor’s coat and Baekhyun hovered and fretted around the man as he went to work as soon as he saw Kyungsoo on the bed. Behind his back, Baekhyun paced and wrung his hands together anxiously as if the doctor might discover something tragic that Baekhyun had missed in his examination of his brother. For all of his nervous energy, Dante didn’t seem to notice him. His focus was on Kyungsoo; checking vitals and doing much of the same intense listening through his stethoscope that Baekhyun had done in the garage.

  Dante was quiet as he finished his examination and he pulled out a small vial of medication from the black bag he’d set at his feet; injecting it directly into the IV for administration. 

  “Some steroids for his lungs — Baekhee, what happened to him? This seems like more than exhaustion. You know I need to know the truth if I’m going to help.” 

  Baekhyun stood his ground for a moment; his spine straight and his lips sealed, and you could see the debate happening inside his head as he warred with himself. 

  When he finally had come to some decision, he merely lifted a hand and pulled the scarf free from his head and you could see the tremble in his hands as he let go of the garment and allowed it to drift to the floor at his feet.

  “Male, age 27, found in an unresponsive state after acute, intentional C.O. intoxication and asphyxiation of an unknown duration. Cardiovascular event with cardiogenic shock. Cardiopulmonary resuscitation was successful and the patient regained full consciousness, but presented with agonal respiration. Upon administration of normobaric oxygen, breathing returned to normal. No signs of cardiac dysfunction or anoxic brain injury as of yet… Dante, I‘m sorry, I have been terribly dishonest with you.” 

  Gone was the fake voice and gone was the pretense and lies. Baekhyun stood on his two legs and faced forward without hiding anymore and your eyes danced between their two faces as if you were watching a tense standoff where both parties had loaded guns pointed directly at each other. 

  The surprise was evident on Dante’s face and his eyes widened as he looked back down at Kyungsoo, asleep on the bed in front of him and again up into Baekhyun’s clear face. 

  “Baek...Hyun? As in Prince Baekhyun? Prince? He’s…” His index finger pointed down at Kyungsoo but his eyes remained fixed on the man standing in front of him. 

  “He’s Prince Kyungsoo and she’s—” He was pointing at you now as the revelations hit him harder and faster.

  The shock was short lived once he processed the medical information Baekhyun had given him. He had another set of supplies out of his bag and he began to draw blood from Kyungsoo’s arm. A brand new urgency was clearly evident in this situation with the string of medical terms Baekhyun had rattled off; none of which you understood. 

  “He needs a hospital. He needs to be in a chamber, Baekhee.” 

  “I don’t have one here. You heard his heart, it sounds fine. He knew who I was as soon as he regained consciousness. He isn’t just anybody. Please — he can’t go to a hospital and besides he doesn't have time for a chamber, he’s getting married tomorrow night.” 

  “Oh right, I heard that on the news— Are you telling me, you are actually the Prince Byun Baekhyun? I’ve seen a lot of you on the news too—But, enough C.O. To lose consciousness— Honey, his heart may not be fine. He will need close monitoring at the very least. If these labs don’t come back clear he’s going to need a chamber. I won’t be responsible for the death of a prince just to keep some royal secret.”

  Their bickering back and forth had lowered in volume as they naturally gravitated closer to each other with the heated discussion. One wanting to go by the book and leave no stone unturned and the other, confident in his gut decisions about his brother and refusing to risk the backlash from the press, or worse, from the queen, if word of this got out. 

  Much of their talk was quiet; hushed with heads bowed together, eyes closing and heads shaking back and forth as they disagreed and countered each other’s arguments with statistics or scary medical words. The words they used were beyond your understanding and didn't quite feel like the most important exchange happening between the two tonight. 

  You felt your focus begin to waiver, from the words they spoke, to something you understood easier; their body language. Baekhyun’s fingertips that tugged lightly at the sleeve of Dante’s shirt as he spoke. One or two breaths from gripping the man’s arm entirely. Dante’s hand that caressed a comforting circle lightly over the small of Baekhyun’s back and then a soft touch over his cheek, just below his eye line where a single tear must have escaped; an intimate soothing motion; a slip of affection and adoration; unconditional and undeniable.

  Your conscious did not let you keep watching. Their closeness and the intimacy you felt pouring off them in waves made you turn your head from it. This wasn’t a moment for you to witness. This wasn’t your fragile relationship that was growing stronger with brand new honesty that was so raw and terrifying, it took nearly losing a brother to finally risk taking a step into. It was their moment, not yours.

  You felt the slick green of envy just below the sick sadness that filled your own stomach with sticks and stones.

  Your mind drifted with your eyes over to Kyungsoo who slept quite soundly on your bed. Even in his current state, with ashen skin and a thin sheen of sweat on his forehead, he was beautiful.

  Beautiful and miserable. 

Had you caused all of this?

  Your mood —a fragile rickety thing with holes in the floorboards and a single strand of thread holding your edges together — snapped.

  His breathing was shallow. His lips were dry and chapped. His eyes were closed but the sleep looked dreadful and fitful. 

  The wetness that ran down your face was an afterthought because—

  Kyungsoo had told you something earth shattering tonight; without even saying a single word to you, the message was loud and clear. It was something that you didn’t want to accept and yet now with the evidence of it sleeping in your bed right now, you didn’t have any excuses to deny it any more. It had slapped you in the face.

  He didn’t want to marry you. 

  He would rather be dead than marry you. 

  This felt somehow more than rejection. You felt like you’d been cursed by God himself for your many sins and the chasm inside of you grew. 

  You genuinely wondered if the pain might cave you in. You felt it deep inside your chest and every gasp for breath only made the pain grow more. It was nearly incapacitating. You labored to breathe through it. You fought to keep yourself upright through the immensity inside of your chest. 

  So you curled into yourself, to try and subdue it, to try and quench the fire that raged for what felt like centuries now and you pulled the back of Kyungsoo’s hand up to you as you pressed your forehead against it; and you wept. You had no other response to it, but to cry. 

  All other sounds vanished and the tight grip you kept on his hand felt desperate. 

  You did not know what would happen to you if you let go of his hand. You didn’t want to try it either. 

  What would become of him if you let him go? 

  What would become of you if you lost him?

  Would he do it again? 

  Would he try and do it again? 

  You did not know how long you cried for.

You had no frame of reference for this kind of pain.

  A warmth landed over the top of your head, and with long sweeping brushes, it traveled achingly slow from your crown down your temple; that warmth ran a pathway over your ear before it vanished for a moment, only to land over the top of your head and travel downward again and again and again.

  It moved slowly, like a fog and you felt your senses dull under its cover. Somehow, the pain that had been so bright and powerful grew further away with each sweeping pass.

  Comfort, an attempt to calm the chaos happening inside of you from someone; your exhausted mind assumed to be Baekhyun, only your senses protested that the angle would have been wrong. It could not be him.

  Your surprise made a sound — a half hiccup, gasping cry — when you lifted your head from the bed enough to open your eyes and held your breath to find that he was awake, Kyungsoo was awake, and he was touching you with his other hand, the one you hadn’t held hostage. He had to reach to do it. He had to pull himself up enough to get to you. It was a struggle but he did it.

  His eyes were open now, you had made such a racket with your weeping. The precious sleep his body needed to recover, you’d interrupted it with your pain, yet you felt unable to control yourself. He was awake, and he was looking at you as he struggled to reach across the distance to touch you in this way that you did not in any way deserve. After all that had happened...after all you had done.

  You felt lost inside of those brown eyes. He wasn't saying anything to you and his face was blank and tired. There was nothing that you could find in that expression to make sense of how he was feeling right now and yet his silence felt significant enough that you did not dare interrupt it. 

  A thought dawned and it was quick to rush into your mind; he was awake! This was significant and demanded action.

  You looked around the room with an urgency and his hand fell with your movement, slipping back down onto the bed and he groaned out a tired moan from within his chest. 

  Baekhyun was gone and so was Dr. Dante. Had they left the room to give you privacy during your breakdown? Didn’t they need to check on him again; now that he was awake? Didn’t something have to be tested, or listened to? What if his breathing got bad again or what if his heart stopped? 

  You began to raise to your feet and you felt the pull from his hand. He gripped harder and pulled back against you. 

  “Don’t,” he said through a labored breath and you allowed yourself to fall back into the chair you’d been sitting in. 

  Thoughts and worries flew by and you opened your lips to speak but found that no words felt right. You had so much to tell him. You had so much you wanted to apologize for and so much forgiveness to beg for but that fear that had kept you company all night long still had it’s long talons hooked deep within your guts. 

  He seemed to want you to stay, although you couldn’t quite grasp how that could be true. He’d gone through great lengths tonight to get away from you. He’d done some unspeakable, horrible things because he did not want to marry you; probably by all reason did not even want to see your face or hear your name ever again in his lifetime, and yet the grip he kept around your hand now felt just as strong and desperate as the way you clung to him as he slept moments before. 

  After a moment, when your retreat was no longer a threat, his tight grip relaxed and you noticed the wince in his face as he shifted in the bed to sit up more. 

  “Are you okay?” 

  Your voice was full of instability and you wiped at the fresh stray tears that had fallen. 

  The question pushed at him. 

It pushed hard and it pushed him away. His reaction gave you his answer. Of course not. Of course he wasn’t okay.

He looked away from you, his focus landing somewhere on the far wall of your bedroom, clearly not seeing whatever he was looking at. 

  His lips relaxed and his eyes glassed over as he stared ahead at nothing and you could feel the limp grip in his hand as the demons played games inside of his head again. You wanted to destroy them all. You wanted, above all else, for this man to have peace. 

  You wondered if it would be better if you kept quiet from now on. 

  A sound in the distance, a single church bell ringing into the nighttime fog touched your ears. It was one in the morning now. Past midnight on your wedding day. 

  “Kyungsoo.” His name was a whisper; as quiet as you could manage, as not to disturbed the delicate stillness that settled inside the room.

  “I was always going to marry you.” His soft voice popped like a bubble; a splash of cool that you felt all over your skin. You looked at him as he spoke but his eyes remained in that far away place.

  “Ever since I could remember, I was going to marry you. I—” 

  You did not move. 

You did not dare breathe, for fear of tarnishing that clear tone of his voice as he spoke, so softly, of the thoughts that were dancing inside his head.

  “I thought you could be the one to save me.” 

  His eyes were wet and he inhaled a raspy breath during the pause in his words. 

  “That was one of my mistakes,” he whispered, “putting you up on a pedestal.” 

  “Kyungsoo, I’m so sorry.”

  You could not stop the apology from leaving your lips and he was shaking his head back and forth the moment the words were released into the room. 

  “No— No, I understand now.” 

  You could feel the room around you, as if it had its own gravity and had begun to spin around you in a lazy circle with you and him trapped in the middle. He couldn’t understand, not without knowing the complete truth. 

  Still, he spoke to you, his head still shaking back and forth as you inhaled a breath to speak again, to stop this, to tell him once and for all the whole truth of the situation. 

  “I understand why you did that. I would have...I would have done something worse to you if you did what I did. If you took Ara from me, like I took May from you. I don't know what I expected. For you just to...let me?” 

  This had to stop. He was blaming himself for something that hadn’t even happened. Sure, you’d lost May, probably forever from your life, but she was okay, wherever she had ended up. She would live and she would have a chance to be a mother to her child. Maybe she would even get to live with the man she loved. Maybe she would even get to be happy.

  “Kyungsoo, you didn’t do anything. You haven’t hurt anyone, Kyungsoo. May is alive. She didn’t die. She is alive and the baby is okay. May is alive.” 

  The words were out and they sunk like heavy rocks at the bottom of a lake. The spinning in the room moved faster and you felt as if you might get sick from the dizziness and then there was a moment — there was a moment before he heard you, before he really heard you and you saw it happen. His mouth closed up and his eyes focused. His focus pulled and he looked into your eyes.

  “What do you mean?” With his eyebrows furrowed in genuine confusion, his eyes sharpened on your face and you gripped his hand tighter just in case he thought to get up and leave. Just in case your confessions were too much for him to take. You clung to him as you spoke, borrowing his warmth a little bit to calm the storm you felt sweeping around you.

  “I’m sorry. You couldn’t know, or she might not have made it. Sehun, he...he saved her, Kyungsoo. And his baby...saved them both, they are okay.” 

  “But the b-body they found...the records, d-dental records were a match.”

  You shook your head in denial. “It was a fake. It was all a fake, to save her life. I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you. I didn’t know what to do. I’m so sorry, please forgive me.”

  “She’s...a-and the baby? I didn’t...k-kill?” 

  You could only nod your head in response to his quiet questions. He’d been holding it in. He’d been holding a breath for what felt like weeks perhaps. With your reassurance he finally moved and it began with his eyes closing up. Then he leaned forward, sitting up from the laid back position he had been in and you saw the small wince of pain as he moved and he came forward, closer to where you sat within your swirling spinning storm cloud.  

  Your salvation arrived with an exhale. 

  He opened up with two arms that reached out to you and the warmth of that exhale coated you from head to toe. His arms wrapped around your shoulders, pulled you into his chest; he breathed out in relief and your world finally stopped its chaotic spinning.

  After his exhale came an inhale and with that came a tremble. You wrapped your own arms around him to steady him and you squeezed. 

  “Thank you,” his voice was low against your ear, “for coming to find me.”

  “Baekhyun saved you, Kyungsoo.” It wasn't the time for you to be claiming credit for the sacrifice and struggle of others. You’d had enough of being dishonest with this man to last a lifetime. “And Ara too, she helped so much.” 

  “I felt you there. I heard you.” 

  You pulled back at this and you searched his face; looking into his eyes from much too close a distance to really be able to focus on anything, yet familiar old habits surged. 

  He couldn’t have actually heard. He had been gone. You’d been desperate to call him back to you. 

  “You...heard me?” 

  It was silly and childish of you to want to hide this; your love for him. Hadn’t you told yourself already you were done with it? With hiding things?

  “I meant it. I do love you, Kyungsoo.” 

  The spinning was back, only this time it felt more internal than before. Your own heart had decided to take you on a bender. 

  Kyungsoo had closed his eyes and he had leaned his head with another slow exhale of breath. This exhale was deeper, from way inside himself; he let the air out slowly through his parted lips and there was the sound of something echoing through your living room that pulled at your focus. 

  The deep exhale set off a spasm inside Kyungsoo’s lungs and he gasped and began to cough again, letting gravity take ahold of his tired and worn body he fell back into the pillows of your bed and rolled while coughing harder into the plush bedding. 

  The sound you heard from out in the living room echoed now and was rhythmic with an occasional mysterious squeak.

  Wheels. Something was being pushed, or dragged through your home and it was headed toward this bedroom. Kyungsoo’s coughing had subsided enough for a shaky breath when the door to the room swung open and you saw some sort of machinery with a screen and buttons, dials, and plenty of tubes atop of a wheeled contraption. 

  The man pushing the device entered just behind and in his other hand, he dragged something else, a big flat white board. 

  “Listen up, motherfucker, because I am only going to say this once,”

  Baekhyun positioned the white board squarely in front of the bed and he stuck the capped end of a marker between his teeth, pulled the top off and blew it across the room where it landed with a hollow clatter against your wooden floor. 

  He lifted the marker to the board and began drawing a series of emoji type faces in what appeared to be order of misery. On one end the tears were large and dramatic as was the frowny face, and on the other, an unbothered happy smile without a care in the world. There were then numbered one to five, five being the worst pain, and Baekhyun moved below the row of faces as he got to work sectioning the big board off into four areas. 

  “My name is Baek-hyun,” his marker worked furiously as he penned out the letters of his name in one section on the board, pausing to speak out each syllable as he wrote them down. “I am your nurse for the night.” In front of his name he wrote the word nurse and he underlined it twice. The marker squeaked noisily with each line he drew.

  “You are on su—i—cide watch,” each syllable was emphasized as he read aloud and enunciated by loud squeaks as the marker moved. He wrote this out very carefully and in large block letters.

  You noticed in the box below he had written a small dx which you gathered was his official diagnosis for Kyungsoo’s condition. Baekhyun moved his marker to this section of his board now and began speaking before he wrote anything down.

  “Because you are a dumb asshole,” the marker squeaked out loud as he underlined the two words written down; his official record of what Kyungsoo’s current affliction was. 

  Each glance you stole at the man laying in the bed was met with only a flat and blank expression. You wondered at Kyungsoo’s self control again and again as Baekhyun went on, clearly on some sort of mission to teach a lesson about what happened tonight. 

  After he was finished writing, he tossed the marker down and lifted a hand to motion at the top section of the board where the faces had been drawn.

  “How would you describe your current pain level?” 

  His voice had suddenly lifted with the question and you saw the passive smile he pulled to his face. This was Baekhyun in full on, petty, yet weirdly professional nurse mode. 

  Kyungsoo did not speak right away and you heard a rattle as Baekhyun reached into the front pocket of his bachelorette party pajama bottoms and pulled out a white bottle of pills. He shook it lightly and the sound echoed around the room. 

  “Umm...my ribs really hurt.” 

  “Nuh-uh-uh…” Baekhyun waved a scolding finger and lifted a finger to point at the faces on the board. 

  “Maybe...three or four?” Kyungsoo followed the rules and Baekhyun slipped the bottle of pills back inside his pocket as he crossed his arms over his chest and faced the man in the bed who was rubbing lightly over his ribcage. 

  “Right here, hurts bad — hurts like—”

  “Hurts like you died in my arms and I had to nearly crack your ribs to restart your heart? Hurts like I nearly lost my own fucking brother forever? Hurts like that?”

  Baekhyun’s words flew past you fast like piercing arrows and you inhaled sharply as they moved through you. You had to close your eyes tight to keep upright and mentally present in this. 

  Kyungsoo did not respond but his jaw snapped shut quickly and his eyes fell from his brother’s demanding eyes for a minute as his mind worked out a response.

  After a moment he lifted his eyes and he spoke with complete sincerity to his brother.

  “Thank you, Baekhyun. I mean it.” 

  “Are you going to do it again?” Gone was the friendly, professional nurse. This was Baekhyun’s honest and vulnerable fear speaking.

  “No.” 

  Baekhyun looked into Kyungsoo’s eyes and he did not move. Kyungsoo held his gaze securely and did not let go and they stood their ground until someone finally gave in with a sigh of concession. 

  Baekhyun exhaled and reached into his pocket again for what you thought was the pain medicine and instead of pulling out the white bottle you saw him hold up two small bright orange colored tablets gripped between his thumb and index finger.

  “I am prepared to offer you a single adult dose of regular strength over the counter pain relief medicine. You may have one dose now, and another in four hours. Take it or leave it.”

  “Baek— it really hurts.”

  “Take it or leave it,” Baekhyun lifted the pills higher into the air as he lifted his eyebrows, daring the man on the bed to challenge him on this.

  “What was in the other bottle?”

  “Don’t you worry about the other bottle. I guess that means you’ll leave it.” Baekhyun made a motion to stick the pills back inside his pocket and Kyungsoo lifted a hand with a hiss and a dramatic wince. “Okay. Okay. Give me the Advil.” 

  The medicine had been handed over and you helped Kyungsoo with the water glass so he could swallow it down as Baekhyun got to work with the other wheeled device he had arrived with. 

  He was turning it on and attaching stickers to Kyungsoo’s body in strategic spots. Something else with a light on it was taped to his index finger and the screen came to life with a traveling line, soft beeping and numbers on the side of the screen that told Baekhyun details that his stethoscope could not. 

  The spinning inside your head had shifted into a dull ache that pulled at your eyelids and you rubbed a palm over the side of your temple. You’d been too stressed today. You’d been too worried and too sickened by what you had been through and the toll was beginning to manifest into a what seemed to be turning into a killer headache. 

  After a few more attempts at blinking the pain away you gave in and asked.

  “Baek, do you have any more pain medicine? I have a headache from today.”

  Baekhyun’s focus pulled up from the monitors and he quickly nodded his head up and down as he reached into his pocket. 

  “I have acetaminophen only. It’s not too strong but it’ll help a bit.” 

  You accepted his offering with a smile and swallowed the pills down once they were placed into the palm of your hand and Baekhyun watched your face for a few seconds with a strange look developing in his eyes. 

  He furrowed his brows and reached into his front pocket on the other side and pulled out two white pills that he held in the palm of his hand and seemed to be looking down at very closely with his mouth moving, but no words coming out. 

  “Uhh…” he spoke up and you felt a sinking inside of you at this sudden and strange behavior from the man. 

  “What?” 

  “Uhh...this is,” he was pausing with his words and you heard a tone of alarm in his voice that was unmistakable, “this is in no way related to the pills you just swallowed, but how good are you with uhh...hypnotic sedatives—barbiturates, drugs like that?” 

  “Baekhyun what did you just give me?” 

  “Nothing...nothing...nothing, bad. Shit. Just...I think you might have taken my ludes.” 

  He was serious. He’d just accidentally given you some mystery drug from his pocket o’pills and it didn't sound like he really knew exactly which pills you had taken. He was holding a small handful of them now, all different colors and sizes, turning each one over and looking closely at the words or numbers or symbols written on the surface of each one. 

  “Yep. She definitely took the ludes. Okay, Princess, I’m going to tell you what’s going to happen. First you're going to start feeling very nice. And I mean nice-nice. Like you’re probably going to want to fuck someone or maybe hold something soft, do you have any stuffed animals? My point is, it's not the worst thing you could have accidentally swallowed from my stash.”

  “You had ludes and you gave me Advil?” Kyungsoo sounded genuinely offended with his brother and you let go of Kyungsoo’s hand and lifted your own hands to your chest, touching around your throat with your fingers, contemplating sticking your fingers down your throat to make yourself vomit. 

  “Baekhyun, am I going to die?”

  “Of course not. Of course you won't die. I’m a nurse and I’m going to take care of you and look, you have Kyungsoo here too in case you get excited or something. You—you should lay down.” 

The Price of Privilege [M]: - part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8 , part 9 , part 10 , part 11, part 12 , part 13 , part 14, part 15

[it1776]

The Best Nintendo Switch Controller Review

The Pro Controller is fine.

I still recommend it to most people

but if you play a lot of 2D games that the D-Pad placement

just isn't gonna cut it. 8BitDo is been making

fantastic Deepak controllers for a while now.

I originally recommended the old SN30

if you wanted to play a lot of 2D games.

Its biggest flaw was it's ergonomics, making it hard to play

3D games with its thumb sticks.

They fixed that with the release of the SN30 Pro+

a near-perfect controller that quickly became

my favorite controller for the Switch.

I used it so much that I ran it into the ground

and had to buy a new one recently. Almost two years later,

they finally released an updated version,

simply called the 8BitDo Pro 2.

Thank God that name was starting to be a mouthful.

This version adds a lot

to the already fantastic Pro Controller alternative.

If you are on the fence about getting one before,

this one will for sure give you

a couple of pretty good reasons to reconsider.

(upbeat music)

This video is sponsored by Aspyr, the guys who brought you,

the Jedi Outcast and Jedi Academy Switch ports

are now bringing you Star Wars Republic Commando.

It's finally on Nintendo Switch

and PlayStation 4 for just 1499.

Check it out at the link in the description below.

Whoa! Whoa! Come on, dude.

Chaos has erupted throughout the galaxy.

As leader of an elite squad of Republic Commandos,

your mission is to infiltrate, dominate,

and ultimately annihilate the enemy. You will play as Boss,

leader of the special ops unit Delta Squad

together with Fixer, Scorch and Sev

working together as a team

instinctively, intelligently, instantly. You guys all right.

I was here first and then you guys just came.

Battle a variety of highly intelligent and deadly enemies

from brutal Trandoshan mercenaries, all right.

To the flying insectoid warriors of Geonosis.

This game was originally released in 2005

and I think is a crucial part of Star Wars history.

I love this era of Star Wars games and I love that Aspyr

is putting some games from this era on the Switch.

So again, you can try it for yourself for just 1499

at the link in the description below.

(water bubbling)

Sorry anybody got a USB-C charger.

(water bubbling).

So if you're new here

the biggest reason why I recommend this controller

is because of the D-pad. It's perfectly clicky.

It feels almost exactly like an original S.N.E.S controller

but you know, newer obviously. But it also has

all of the makings of a great modern controller.

It's thumb sticks feel almost exactly

like a DualShock 4 thumb sticks, making this a great option

for 3D games if you need something that could do both.

Here's something I often forget to mention.

It comes with a rechargeable battery, but it can be removed

and replaced with two double A's if you're in a bind,

something Microsoft should take note of.

It also has great motion controls and rumble.

The only thing that it's missing

that the Nintendo Pro Controller has is NFC.

But at the significantly lower price point,

are you really gonna be missing NFC that much?

The original SN30 Pro+ was and still is $45.

This new one bumps the price up to $50,

which is still a reasonable price

and some harsh competition for Nintendo's $70 controller.

It also works on Switch, Windows, Mac, Android,

and Raspberry Pi via Bluetooth, which is great

if you wanna play emulators or 2D games via Steam.

It's an all-around great controller

and I haven't even mentioned any of the new features yet.

Everything that I've said is also available

on the older $45 model.

The Pro 2 Sports 2 assignable back buttons.

This is a very welcome addition

and something I wish more controllers included.

My only gripe here is that

they're a little too easy to press. They're very large.

It's very difficult to grip the controller

without touching these buttons with your middle fingers.

In an intense game of Mario Maker

I accidentally press these buttons many times.

Luckily, by default they're assigned to nothing.

So pressing them did nothing at all.

You can assign functions to these buttons

using the brand new 8BitDo companion app.

In fact, you can remap all of the buttons

using the companion app.

And there are three different assignable profiles

that you can swap between on the fly.

Technically there's four because

there's just a baseline default one which is great

for when you don't wanna accidentally hit the back buttons.

Pressing this button right here switches between the modes.

There's off one, two and three.

In addition to remapping the buttons,

this software also allows you to fix the sticks dead zones.

It's also supposed to let you fix the trigger sensitivity,

but I couldn't figure out how to do that in the app.

I can only figure out how to do that on the desktop version.

But I like having my trigger sensitivity set really high

so they're like hair triggers because almost no Switch games

registered trigger sensitivity anyway.

Upon further review it seems that they disabled

the trigger sensitivity tab for the Switch.

So they got rid of trigger sensitivity

entirely for the Switch which is weird

'cause there are games that could still use it.

But if you go to Android or DInput or whatever,

it shows the trigger sensitivity, which is very strange.

You can also adjust vibration levels and of course,

macros, which go great with the new additional back buttons.

Previously, I used to assign macros to the share button.

Now I don't have to, unfortunately, the macro functionality

still, isn't very intuitive. You have to program it yourself

in the app, one button at a time. You can set the timings

between button presses but that's way harder to do

than just inputting a macro yourself on the controller

and having it record your inputs.

Something I've seen in a few other devices lately.

I hope that 8BitDo can eventually update

the Ultimate software and the Pro 2's firmware

to have this sort of functionality.

Because right now the macro function is pretty much

all only useful for like fighting games.

They did add the ability

to use thumb stick inputs for macros.

So if you have more patience than me

you can figure out some macros for Smash Brothers.

What might be more useful is assigning a turbo button

which is useful for many games, namely Animal Crossing.

I have a whole video on that if you're interested.

The old Pro+ had a turbo function but with this new Pro 2,

it might be worth it to assign one of the back buttons

to enable the turbo function. You can also have

the other back button assigned to hold.

So it will hold down a button forever.

So you can breeze through long menus or something.

Another useful feature that was recently added.

You can set the left stick to be swapped with the D-pad.

This is useful for games like Link's Awakening,

which should have D-pad support, but it doesn't.

There's also an option

to swap the right stick with the triggers.

I think that's some fighting games.

But my favorite part about this new mobile app

is that it allows you to change your settings on the fly.

You don't have to disconnect it from your Switch at all.

You can have it connected to your Switch

and the app at the same time.

This is something that you could not do

with the previous desktop app. This is huge for figuring out

the timing of macros or finding out the right button mapping

for yourself and immediately trying it out in the field.

One of my least favorite things

about wireless controllers like this

is connecting it to the Switch.

I often find myself just (indistinct) the button

till it finally comes up.

This controller alleviates some of that pain

by adding a mode switch on the back.

On the previous Pro+ you had to hold Start and Y

to enter switch mode. Windows, Android, and iOS,

all had different corresponding face buttons.

You expect me to remember all those.

There was also no indication

what mode you were currently in.

Now it's as easy as just flipping the switch.

You have Nintendo Switch, Apple DInput and XInput.

XInput is for Windows and Android.

DInput is for like old. I don't know it's

just probably don't worry about it. Other than all that

the only other real difference is it's enhanced grip

which is really just a textured back

similar to the textured back

of the new DualSense controller.

Other than that, this controller feels exactly the same

as the old SN30 Pro+ controller.

Switching between the two reveals that the face buttons

feel more responsive on the newer one.

Maybe it's because it's newer

and I used the shit out of my old one.

It's hard to tell.

- Oh no. - Hit the button, dude.

I think this controller.

(upbeat game music)

You know, I'll try, I'll try the top ones.

The buttons, the build quality, everything feels the same.

The Pro 2 comes in gray, black and GB edition.

I pre-ordered myself the Game Boy looking one

so I'll be getting that one when it eventually comes out.

But 8BitDo sent me their gray edition one, which looks like

it's attempting to resemble a PlayStation 1 controller.

It's an okay design. The A, B, X, Y buttons

colored like PlayStation buttons is like unsettling.

It's like a sin. The strongest design that they have

is definitely the Game Boy looking at one.

8BitDo used to have controllers that looked almost exactly

like Super Nintendo and N.E.S controllers,

but I'm sure they strayed away from that

so that they weren't bullied by Nintendo's lawyers.

It's also probably why they don't have

a Super Nintendo looking one at all anymore.

But I mean, the feel of the controller

is more important than anything else. And for 2D games,

there's nothing better than this,

until you find your Lord and Savior keyboard keys baby.

So if you haven't yet picked yourself up a 8BitDo controller

now might be the time to make the jump.

$5 extra for the back buttons,

the updated Ultimate software, the mode switch,

the custom profiles that can switch on the fly.

Yeah, I'd say it's worth it to get this version

over the original or Pro. Now is it worth upgrading to

if you already have an original SN30 Pro+.

That I'm not sure about.

Maybe if yours is starting to feel like shitty.

I know mine started to feel like

a little unresponsive, I guess.

I don't know how to describe it other than

it just got shitty and then I had to buy a new one.

But if you're perfectly content with your original SN30 Pro+

then it's probably not worth dropping an extra $50

on a brand new controller. It's like 90% the same controller

and about 10% new hotness. Or maybe I'm sure

you could find a way to justify it.

Maybe you could teach your grandma how to do Kaizo Mario.

What do you guys think about the brand new 8BitDo Pro 2?

It's a lot easier to say at this time.

Is this gonna make you finally make the jump

into getting an 8BitDo controller? Or it's something that

you would consider upgrading to from the original?

I don't think you really need to

unless like yours got like old crappy.

If you have a Nintendo Switch Pro controller already,

and you find yourself playing way more 2D games

this might be worth getting in addition to.

I mean it's like a second,

you get a second player with it to.

Leave in the comments below, add me on Twitter

and all this social media garbage.

As always we have new videos here all the time,

at least once a week.

This week, I think you're getting two, lucky you.

And we got streams over on twitch.tv/wulffden

where we can hang out and chat with each other

about stuff like this. Look at that.

Make sure you turn on notifications for all of that stuff

so you know, when we go live

'cause you can't rely on YouTube or Twitch to tell you.

But of course the most important thing right now

is just subscribe. Thank you.

I appreciate you for wanting to watch these videos.

And share this video with a friend.

A friend who maybe hasn't gotten

one of these controllers yet and it's still stuck

with the freaking regular role Pro controller.

Or maybe they're using the freaking split Joy-Cons

like a real, degenerate.

(gentle music)

Thank you. Have a good week.

[toptecharena]

The Lenovo Legion Y530 is the slightly smaller, slightly less powerful gaming laptop when compared to the rest of the Lenovo Legion lineup. The Y520 line is larger and starts at a lower price point, and uses that extra space for beefier components. The Y720 is more expensive, and follows the Y520’s approach of cramming faster components into the housing.

Not to mention, the new Y530 looks unlike either model. It ditches the mundane black and red housing found on the rest of the Legion line, opting instead for a black and white look. Then there’s a unique hinge that doesn’t line up with the back of the Y530’s housing, thus allowing for an even slimmer design.

With configurations starting at $749 (about £589, AU$1,035), the Y530 is an affordable entry level gaming laptop that competes with the likes of Acer’s Nitro 5 and Dell’s G3 15 – only with, perhaps, a little bit more style.

Price and availability

Again, the base model Y530 starts at $749 (about £589, AU$1,035). For the purposes of this review, we were sent a slightly more expensive configuration, currently priced at $899 (about £707, AU$1,244).

The difference between the two configurations is limited to a single storage drive (1TB hard drive) and a standard GeForce GTX 1050, compared to the model we are testing with an additional 128GB SSD boot drive and a GTX 1050 Ti. 

In the US, Lenovo offers configurations that include an Intel Core i7-8750H,16GB of memory, up to 2TB hard drive and 256GB SSD for around $1,300 (about £1,022, AU$1,799).

In the UK, Lenovo doesn’t offer any customization options, with the Y530 priced at £899. For that price, you get the same configuration we tested, save for a GTX 1050 (not a 1050 Ti) and a 300 nit display, as opposed to a 250 nit. 

For those in Australia, you’re given more customization options. The base configuration starts at AU$1,452 for the same model we are testing, and maxes out at AU$1,743 with an Intel Core i7-8750H, 16GB of memory, and a 300 nit display. 

All in all, those prices compare favorable with the Nitro 5, with a starting price of $749 (£899, about AU$1009), and the Dell G3 15, with the same starting price. The most notable differences in the starting point between the three different models is the G3 15 comes with a 128GB SSD in addition to a 1TB hard drive, whereas the Nitro 5 and Legion Y530 only have the 1TB drive.

Design

The first thing you see after unboxing the Legion is that the hinge doesn’t quite look normal. Instead of lining up with the back of the screen lid, as most laptops do, there’s roughly 1-inch of space between where the hinge is found, and where the back of the Legion is found. 

Looking at the Y530 from the front with the lid open, it looks just like any other laptop. There’s a full-sized keyboard with number pad – a growing rarity in 15-inch laptops – a trackpad, and a 15.6-inch display that has very scarce bezels surrounding it.

The keyboard is backlit with white lights, and isn’t customizable. The keys are soft, and respond accurately to rapid presses while typing or gaming. The trackpad is smooth and handles interaction without any hiccups, but we suggest finding a nice gaming mouse and using it for everyday desktop tasks along with intense gaming sessions. 

As for portability, the Y530 is a respectable 5.1 pounds (2.3kg), and measures 14.37 x 10.24 x 0.95 inches (365 x 260 x 24.2mm). Despite being over the 5 pound mark, the Y530 is deceivingly lightweight and comfortable to carry around. 

On either side of the housing you’ll find a USB 3.1 port, with a 3.5mm combo audio jack found on the left side. Where are the rest of the ports? That’s where the back of the laptop comes in.

An intriguing hinge

The rear of the Legion Y530 is home to two cooling vents and a myriad of ports. From left-to-right, you’ll find a USB-C port, mini DisplayPort, USB 3.0, HDMI, Ethernet and a charging port. 

With nearly all ports on the back of the housing, the end result is a cleaner look when you have multiple devices plugged into the Y530. Instead of cables coming out of each side, everything can be organized neatly behind the display. Then again, we can see this arrangement being problematic for those who work on a small desk where more ports on the side would be beneficial. 

Furthermore, the hinge allows for the display on the Y530 to open and bend back to 180 degrees. Keep in mind, the Y530’s display isn’t a touchscreen, and this orientation fails to trigger any sort screen rotation in Windows 10. We can’t think of any real reason why the screen can lay flat like this, other than ‘because it can.’

Display

It’s not often we see a laptop manufacturer list a display’s brightness, measured in nits, on the specification sheet. Yet with the Legion line, Lenovo lists the nits for every model we looked at.

The Y530 we reviewed has a 250 nit display, according to the spec sheet. Eventually, Lenovo will release a 144Hz panel with 300 nits, but as of this review that model is not yet available. 

Why is this important? Glad you asked. We find the display on the Y530 to lack in overall brightness and color quality. Even with brightness turned all the way up, colors look overly muted and leave us wanting more. Perhaps you’ll want to hold out for the 144Hz version of this laptop on account of this.

With any entry-level gaming laptop, expectations of low to modest performance should be set accordingly. You can’t go into a gaming session of Far Cry 5 at Ulta settings and expect an incredibly smooth experience at 120 frames per second (fps). Instead, you’re more likely to find a decent experience of 30 fps at Ultra.

In the case of Fortnite on the Y530, we let the game select the best performance settings on its own. That resulted in a Low setting with the frames per second capped at 60. At those settings, gameplay was smooth enough to get around the island. If we were any better at playing on a PC, rather than a Nintendo Switch, we have no doubt we could battle our way to a victory royale on the Y530. 

After a couple matches with the frame rate capped at 60, we bumped up the limit to 120 just to see how far the Y530 could push low settings. For the next few matches, we kept an eye on the fps counter and saw it consistently stay between 70 and 80 fps. 

With the game’s graphic settings to set to high, the frame rate stayed between 28 and 30. This is not the best experience, but it’s playable. 

Performance outside of gaming on the Y530 is impressive. Apps launch fast, and there’s no lag or stuttering when quickly switching between common tasks. The Y530 offers more than enough performance for any task, including gaming, It’s just more impressive when it comes to getting work done.

The Y530’s performance throughout all benchmarks shows a laptop that’s powerful enough for work and school, along with heavy video or photo editing, but can’t quite keep up with AAA games at higher settings. The Y530’s test results are slightly below the Nitro 5 and G3 15, despite the Nitro 5 using a standard GTX 1050.

Speakers

There are two speakers on the Y530, both of which are located at the front face down. The volume level is OK, with the sound somewhat muffled due to their placement.

We find it hard to discern the direction of nearby building or footsteps in Fortnite when using the speakers. 

In other words, you’re going to need a pair of headphones to do any serious gaming on this machine. 

Battery life

Gaming laptops rarely set any records when it comes to battery life, and the Y530 is no different. Our tests came back with 2 hour and 54 minutes in the PCMark 8 battery life test, and 3 hours and 38 minutes in our movie test. 

Neither result, backed up by our own experience, is terrible. Comparatively, the Nitro 5 registered 2 hours and 32 minutes and 3 hours and 20 minutes in the same tests, respectively. As for the Dell G3 15, it outperformed both laptops with 4 hours and 0 minutes, and 4 hours and 21 minutes. 

Software

While setting up the Legion Y530, we looked for the Nvidia GeForce Experience app, so we could make sure the graphic drivers were up to date. Only, we couldn’t find it. Keeping the GTX 1050 Ti’s drivers up to date on a gaming laptop is something every gamer will want to do, and the main tool used to update said drivers was missing on first boot. 

Instead, we were left to deal with the obnoxious reminders from McAfee to sign up for a subscription and to scan for viruses. Annoying is the only word that comes to mind. 

As far as customizing performance or adjusting settings for gaming performance, the only pre-installed app found is the Lenovo Vantage. Using the app, you can check your system resources, enable cooling boost and view your device info. It’s one of the most basic gaming performance programs we’ve seen, and overall it’s a letdown.

Final verdict

The Lenovo Legion Y530 is a laptop that’s designed with gamers in mind, but not for hardcore gamers. Whether you go with the base model, or a personal configuration, you’re still locked into a GTX 1050 or 1050 Ti.

Neither graphics option is bad, but they’re not going to push the limits of any AAA games. That’s OK, so long as you know what to expect the first time you launch your favorite game. 

Go to Source Author: Lenovo Legion Y530 The Lenovo Legion Y530 is the slightly smaller, slightly less powerful gaming laptop when compared to the rest of the Lenovo Legion lineup.

[doxampage]

Brochure Printing: Producing a Gatefold Brochure

A print brokering client of mine who is a graphic designer has a new client, a local restaurateur. That means I, too, have a new client. The first commercial printing job I won from this new client is an eight-page gatefold brochure selling the food and service for the restaurant. I’m excited.

The Brochures

This particular client of mine, the designer, is very easy to work with, in part because she is so complete in her descriptions of her jobs. To begin the bidding process she sent me not only written specs for the job but also a PDF version of an early draft of the brochure showing color and type placement, bleeds, and folding.

The job is 16” x 6” flat, folded to 4” x 6” final size, with the two outer flaps folding in to the center. This is what makes it a gatefold, just as the name implies. After some discussion with the commercial printing vendor, my client and I decided to put the job on a white, uncoated press sheet (Accent Opaque). Specifically, we chose this stock over a fancier paper to ensure that, with the complexity of the folds, the paper would not be likely to crack (as might have been the case with an eggshell or felt finish paper stock).

We decided the paper should be 100# cover stock to ensure that the folded brochure will be thick enough to meet the US Postal Service regulations for automation, to make sure the overall heft of the folded brochure will project a serious and opulent tone for the restaurant client, and yet to make sure the weight of the folded piece will not unduly raise the cost of postage.

My client requested pricing for 1,000; 1,500; and 2,000 brochures.

What makes her mock-up so useful is that it shows the amount and placement of process color on her client’s gatefold brochure. You can see in the PDF sample that the interior of the brochure will have a white background, a row of small color photos across the bottom of the four panels, text, and scattered headlines reversed out of slanted strips of color. The two outside, or rear-facing, panels of the brochure will be light brown, with all brochure cover copy and the back mailing panel printed in black type with black line art. Finally, the fold-in panels of the gatefold are light blue with black surprinted text and line art reversed to white.

With this unfolded visual representation of the brochure as a PDF, I could visualize the final printed and folded brochure, and the offset printer could do the same.

Considerations for the Print Job

I have already mentioned the reasons behind the choice of the paper stock, regarding the physical requirements of the Post Office (size, folding, and placement of the address and other postal information). In your own print design and print buying work, to ensure adherence to postal regulations (i.e., to make sure that the Post Office will mail your job), it is wise to have a business reply mail specialist at your Post Office review a mock-up of your job. He or she can make sure it will be the right size, aspect ratio, and thickness when folded; that the folds will be in the right place to ensure machinability; that the wafer seals or fugitive glue seals will be in the right place; and that there won’t be any surprise surcharges (or worse) due to design or printing problems. It’s always best to get the blessing of the business mail specialist before you print the job.

In addition, it’s always good to get the commercial printing supplier’s feedback regarding the foldability of the paper based on its surface formation in order to avoid any paper cracking.

But there are other things to consider as well.

For instance, the outermost panels fold in and touch in the middle of the brochure. For this to happen smoothly, the two outermost panels must be slightly shorter than the two innermost panels, or they will bump into each other when the brochure is folded. To be safe, in a situation like this, it is always wise to ask the custom printing vendor just how large to make each panel, to make sure the columns of copy fall in the right place (vis-à-vis the folds) and to make sure the folds are also appropriately placed.

Another thing to consider is the benefit of this particular format: the gatefold. In my client’s case, the first thing a recipient of the brochure will see is the gestural, freehand drawing of both the logotype and the restaurant image surprinted on the light brown background of the front cover. This will set a festive and casual tone.

Upon opening the two outer panels, the reader will see the two inner doors of the gatefold, and the light blue will provide a contrast to the outer light brown panels. Most probably the inner light blue will give a lightness to the piece after the more toned-down brown panels, and yet the similarity in style of the freehand drawings (reversed out of the light blue) will show a consistency of design style between the outer panels and the gatefold doors.

Finally, the reader will open up the brochure fully to display the interior. In this case the airy, white background will provide visual relief from the light, full-bleed brown and blue screens. And the slanted presentation of the headlines reversed out of the solids will provide a bouncy, informal tone to the interior, linking it with the exterior of the gatefold brochure.

This treatment of the headlines along with the horizontal line of photos along the base of the interior will provide contrast to the line drawings on the outer panels. But at the same time it will maintain the visual consistency of the brochure through its informal presentation.

With any luck, the reader will come away feeling hungry and ready to eat at this classy, upscale and fun restaurant.

What You Can Learn From This Case Study

Carefully plan out the interior and exterior space of a gatefold brochure. Think about the order in which the reader will see each chunk of information (image or text). How will the reader’s eye fall when she or he sees the closed brochure, then when she or he opens the outer panels, then when she or he opens the other panels. Ideally, when the reader reaches the interior of the gatefold brochure, the four innermost panels will be like a wide billboard, offering 6” x 16” of horizontal marketing space (or whatever other dimensions you choose).

Remember that the feel of the paper is important. Think about the appropriateness of coated or uncoated stock, but also think about the physical limitations of the paper. If the felt stock you absolutely adore will crack when folded, choose a more appropriate paper.

Always include the US Post Office in your design decisions. If something is wrong (anything from the folded size, to the placement of the folds, to the aspect ratio, to the placement of the type), your job could be unmailable, or it could incur a surcharge. Find this out and fix it before you print.

Brochure Printing: Producing a Gatefold Brochure published first on https://getyourprintingcompanies.tumblr.com/

[cathygeha]

MAYBE I DO by Nicole McLaughlin

Published by St. Martin’s Paperbacks

Publication Date: August 29, 2017

ISBNs: Print – 9781250139986; EBook – 9781250139993

Price: $7.99

Book Description

“Nicole McLaughlin is a wonderfully fresh voice in contemporary romance—sweet, sexy, and immensely satisfying.”—Lauren Layne, New York Times bestselling author

 She doesn’t believe in fairy tales. He’s married to his job. Maybe whiskey is the secret ingredient that will bring them together—and give true love a shot? Wedding photographer Charlotte Linley loves her work—even though she hates weddings. Sure, she still holds a grudge after being left at the altar by her high-school sweetheart. But today Charlotte is just happy to have complete control over her career, which is flourishing. Especially since she joined forces with one of the three gorgeous owners of The Stag, a boutique distillery that has become Kansas City’s hottest wedding venue.

 Dean Troyer, bitter after the end of his own marriage, knows that Charlotte is the real deal—beautiful, talented, and successful. He may flirt with her every time she comes to The Stag but Dean is determined to keep his professional distance. . .particularly now that she’s helping him with his own sister’s wedding. The only problem? The more time Dean spends with Charlotte, the deeper their connection grows. Is this a rom-com cliché or could it be that these two jaded souls in the wedding business have finally found their real-life happily ever after?

Buy Links

Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Maybe-Do-Whiskey-Weddings-Novel/dp/1250139988

B&N: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/maybe-i-do-nicole-mclaughlin/1125377341

iBooks: https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/isbn9781250139993

Kobo: https://www.kobo.com/us/en/ebook/maybe-i-do-1

Google Play: https://play.google.com/store/books/details?id=H3UQDgAAQBAJ

MY REVIEW

Maybe I Do by Nicole McLaughlin

Whiskey and Weddings #1

 Great introduction to a new series!

 Charlotte is a professional photographer…

Dean Troyer is a distiller of fine whiskey…

Charlotte and Dean like one another, flirt with one another whenever they can but never act on their interest in one another due to past events in both of their lives…

…until…

…things begin to change one day…

 Charlotte and Dean have been friends for a few years when Dean’s sister contacts him needing to have her wedding planned and ready to attend when she and her fiancé get home from their current military tour overseas SO Dean asks Charlotte to help and as they work together on the wedding their relationship begin to change. Everything is going fairly well until some truths appear, an accident occurs and communication and soul searching becomes paramount. Thankfully things work out for most in the story. At this point I know there are at least two and perhaps more books to come in this series as Dean has two partners, took on another person to work as his apprentice and there are a number of friends of Charlotte’s that could also have stories of their own…and…you know what…I am looking forward to reading whatever book comes next!

 I love the distillery, the story, the concept and the characters. Not being a guy I am not sure if I would relate to Dean’s situation as he does BUT wished at times he had been a bit more forthcoming and done so a bit earlier. Charlotte was very together and a strong female force that I would love to have as a friend. I liked the two together and see them happy in the future.

 Thank you to NetGalley and St. Martin’s Press for the ARC – This is my honest review.

 4 Stars

Excerpt: MAYBE I DO by Nicole McLaughlin

 “One, two, three, go!” Charlotte called. The bouquet shot into the air as the front bridesmaid soared into a jump that would make a basketball star envious. All the while Charlotte’s shutter rapidly took frame after frame. As the bridesmaid landed, stems in hand, someone else’s arm flung into her face, effectively startling her and sending the flowers to the floor. A third woman—somewhat older—surprised all the bystanders by quickly swiping it off the floor.

Charlotte laughed as she took a shot with the bride and the gloating bouquet winner, and then immediately got back into position as the DJ started up “Another One Bites the Dust” for the garter removal. She inwardly groaned. This guy needed some new material.

When the groom was done sticking his head under the bride’s skirt and making a spectacle of himself, he lined up, ready to send the little scrap of lace and elastic into the—somewhat small—mass of young men.

“You ever notice how the guys always look as if they’re participating under duress?” a deep familiar voice said close to Charlotte’s ear. Goose bumps rose on her neck and arms.

She grinned but didn’t lower the camera from her eye. The music and conversation in the room were loud enough that she knew they wouldn’t be heard. “Can’t say that I blame them.”

The words had come out without any thought and Charlotte really wished she could see Dean’s reaction to them, but the groom released the garter right at that moment. The male recipients were nowhere as enthusiastic as the ladies had been, but one guy did reach out and snag it, almost as a reflexive action.

Yep, the shocked look on his face said that’s exactly what it had been, and he glanced around like he wanted someone to throw it at.

Charlotte laughed and looked at Dean. “He looks like he’s wishing he’d sat this one out right about now.”

“Yes he does.” Dean crossed his arms and smirked as Charlotte stepped forward to set up the customary shot of the groom and the reluctant garter catcher.

She was happy to find that Dean was still waiting for her on the edge of the dance floor when she was finished.

“I’ve missed talking to you tonight,” she said.

One corner of his lips quirked up. “You have?” His tone was all teasing, but she could have sworn there was a hint of uncertainty. Surely he knew she was into him.

“Of course. I would assume it was because you were busy, but you had time to talk with black dress lady for a long time.”

“Charlotte,” he whispered, shaking his head. One of his go-to body movements when they spoke. He huffed out an embarrassed laugh. “What am I gonna do with you?”

“Well, you can start by not making me so jealous.”

His eyes flicked to hers, his lips parting. She could tell he wanted to respond, that her words had taken him by surprise. She continued to watch him as the music filled in the silence between them. It was hard to believe she’d let the teasing between them just go where it had, but she didn’t really regret it. She liked this man, and she’d done everything she could to tell him that except physically coming on to him. Was that what she needed to do? Finally, he appeared to mentally shake off her comment, his lips pursing as he inhaled a deep breath. Damn.

“How much longer are you here?” he asked.

She pulled out her phone and grimaced at the time. “Over an hour.”

He nodded. “Can you spare me a minute? I wanted to talk to you about something.”

Oh God. He was going to finally make a move. She could feel it. Her brazen comment about jealousy had worked.

Or maybe he was going to finally let her down easy. Shit.

She swallowed. “Of course. I’d love that.”

Following him toward the bar, Charlotte caught Lauren’s attention and sent her an I’ll-be-right-back look. Lauren nodded but Charlotte could see the curiosity written all over her friend’s face.

Dean stepped behind the bar, grabbed a pint glass, and proceeded to fill it with ice, lemon-lime soda, and then the tiniest splash of grenadine. Her favorite, and she couldn’t help melting inside that he always remembered. She couldn’t decide if it was a good sign or not. He slid it across the bar to her and then angled his head toward the little break room. Suddenly panicked, Charlotte dug in the bottom of her bag for a piece of gum and stuffed it into her mouth.

Dean stepped into the room and held the door open for Charlotte. She followed and then turned to face him, her heart pounding in her chest.

But instead of walking toward her, he headed for the sofa. “Have a seat.”

“Oh, okay.” She did just that, and when she sat down, he took the sofa across from her.

Ouch. Definitely not a good sign. Was he … mad at her? First she’d embarrassed him with the sexy photos, and then she’d just now crossed the line with the jealousy comment. Oh shit. He was totally going to confront her about it.

“So, first I should apologize for what I said out there. That was so completely inappropriate and I should have known better,” she blurted.

Dean froze, his eyes meeting hers. “What are you talking about?”

“When I said you should stop making me jealous. I was out of line and I—”

Dean began to chuckle. “Did you think that’s what I brought you in here to say?”

Charlotte exhaled, relief washing over her. “Yes. I did.”

He grinned. “Charlotte, I’m going to be the one to cross the line here when I say … my … inappropriate conversations with you are my favorite thing about working weddings here.”

“They are?” she asked with a smile.

“They are. In fact, I probably like them a little too much.”

Okay. That wasn’t great. So, while it was a relief he hadn’t brought her to this room to confront her, it also sucked he hadn’t brought her here to make out. “Then what did you need to talk to me about?”

He reached up and scratched at the back of his neck before leaning his elbows on his knees. “It’s actually something I need to ask you.”

A wedding party of butterflies came to life in her stomach. “Oh? Okay, shoot.”

“You might recall last weekend I mentioned my sister was engaged.”

Charlotte’s happiness deflated a bit. If all he needed was to hire her for photos, such a production hadn’t really been necessary. It was what she did for a living, for goodness’ sake. “Of course. So do you need a photographer?”

“Well, yes. But I need more than that.”

 Author Bio

Nicole McLaughlin wrote her first full length book (6 pages) about the birth of her baby sister, when she was eight years old. She only finished it because her mother bribed her with a Rick Astley cassette tape. Sad, but true. Now her characters are what keep her writing and her subject matter has gotten a little bit deeper and a lot more romantic. She resides in a small town outside of Kansas City with her husband and three sons. When she isn’t writing, she’s a wedding and portrait photographer, loves to cook, and watch historical dramas or documentaries. Nicole is the author of two series with St. Martin's Press, the Man Enough series (All I Ask) and Whiskey and Weddings (Maybe I Do).

 Author Links

Website: http://nicolemclaughlinbooks.com/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/nicolembooks

Twitter: https://twitter.com/nicolemauthor

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicolemauthor/