#wasnt even happy seeing the other shinigami at this point

[codeform]

I just saw your posts about gender for that Clu person, and based on their responses, I think this is someone who is dealing with a lot of uncertainty and they were hoping for a certain answer for their question. Maybe not a permanent one, but a springboard or starting point. They are probably looking for a starting point that's a little more specific than 'whatever u want' because I think they might've said (or suggested) they aren't sure what they want.

Your answers are correct, of course, but speaking from personal experience on other topics, it can be frustrating asking for a simple yet specific answer (in this case, that would be an answer like 'cis male' or 'transfem') and getting only broad generalities. Might I suggest supplying them with some terms that seem to be a pretty close fit to what they described? You wouldn't be labeling them, you'd just be giving them some things to Google so they can see if it fits them. A place to start their gender identity journey from (because some people do feel more secure when they have that 'label' and this person might be one of those. And that's completely okay if they need that.)

Hope this helps you and them!

i Absolutely agree w u anon! but (and i am speaking as sm1 whose early exploration was almost entirely based off of discussions w highschool friends— all 2nd hand information. which is its own can of worms hsdfjkjs) i do think its important to like. do that initial footwork yourself?

bc (n im glad u agree!) there is just no neat answer!! esp not w nonbinary genders!! I (a man who has a very weird gender itself) am still constantly learning!! and i did edit one of my rbs but idk if Hal saw, but i think a very good place to start is less "what is upsetting me abt my gender" but rather "what is making me happy" — this is just generally a less painful jumping-off point too, bc its usually easier to work through when you're confused (its a lot to unpack upset/pain/confusion at the SAME TIME!!! not fun)

i will stick by honestly wikipedia as a genuinely useful surface level resource. install shinigami eyes so u dont wind up on transphobic sites and it has a solid rundown of both your "basic" terms and the history of the community, especially bc it is very hard if impossible to get an answer when youre asking sm1 else "heres what i feel now what am i." skhsdhf

and no hate!!! genuinely!!! thats a very easy place to wind up in, where u just WANT a clear-cut answer from sm1 else, but like i said b4: nobody knows you better than YOU!! i think theres like. this idea that we all just Knew and the truth is no, i promise we did not. we have all googled "nonbinary definition" "demigender definition" "neopronouns definition" i went thru 2 whole entire genders b4 i settled on Man and MORE AFTER THAT before settling on Man But Weird

AND ALSO. i am open to questions!!!!!!! but i am A WEIRD DUDE W AUTISM AND I AM NOT BUILT FOR MAKING SENSE!!!!! i promise i AM trying!!! and will continue to try!!! but it is abt to be June and pride is this month and wholeheartedly go to your local pride events if you are confused!!!!!! take to queer ppl who are both prepared to answer questions AND can provide much more relevant, local(!!!) resources — and talk to queer elders!!!! meet the coolest people in the world forever!!!!

but yea to circle back 2 th point i was like. Trying to make. doing that initial footwork yrself is the easiest i think bc you know you. i promise even tho it seems daunting it WILL ultimately be less confusing than trying 2 play 2nd hand telephone even if yr playing w friends (like i did. not ideal — wasnt safe for me to research myself but still Not Ideal)

[latinozevran-archive]

youre too swayed by affection its your greatest sin cut away from the things you hold onto this is what you want isnt it this is what it means to die is truly the most insane quote like my god......... the climax of the story kikuhiko is finally gonna kill himself and rakugo together lovers suicide this is THE moment every second of the story has led up to carefully building up his resentment and his stubbornness and his deep deep sadness and yet it is not until this moment that you get the full picture of his motivations

like just the first half youre too swayed by affection its your greatest sin cut away from the things you hold onto…to have spent so long determined to punish himself and not embrace new emotions and remain caught up in memories forever yet thats simply not how it works with children despite his best efforts cut away from the things you hold onto the literal image of him holding onto baby konatsu to shield her from harm like he was never detached from anything at all it wasnt up to him whether or not he was loved and his attachments to ghosts could never be reciprocated in a way that would serve him

and it is just idk unbearably tragic that he spent nearly his entire life refusing to see or accept his daughter and her affection for him out of however many layers of convoluted reasoning he had for doing so... and i think even more heartbreaking is the fact that yotaro was the catalyst to slowly breaking him free of those boundaries he had held to for so long but not because kikuhiko loved him more than konatsu just because yotaro refused to take no for an answer ever unlike konatsu who had naturally developed parallel rejection mentalities to get thru having a childhood so lacking in open affection and now we circle back around to like watching the greatest love of kikuhikos life tell this character who has consistently been portrayed as cold and unforgiving and neglectful that being too swayed by affection is his greatest sin... like he has depth certainly ur never supposed to believe detachedness is the entirety or core of his personality but that line is still such a stark contrast to any expectations u would have for describing the essentials of his character. and i think the point of that is far from asserting that that is in fact his greatest sin AKDJFJKGKGK i can think of a number of others.

but whether or not you interpret the words as coming from kiku or the shinigami or tied into some insecurity of what sukeroku would say to him or all of the above i think it still embodies what he perceives as his greatest personal failure that despite the guilt and sadness that weighed so so heavily on him throughout his life he just couldnt die and i think this also explains his suicide attempt at such an otherwise peaceful time in his family life just like the paralyzing fear of happiness.. and all of this coming to him from the shinigami with sukerokus face and voice foremost object of his affections who he just couldnt let go of except now the foremost object of his affections is likely better identified as his grandson his world his favorite little person so like how do u reconcile that joy with the way misery has been so embedded into the way u see yourself and what you deserve………….

and idk going back to what i was thinking about wrt suicidal narratives the other day this is a very different route that this man lived his whole life wanting to die so badly and it wasnt until he realized somewhere along the line he had managed to become an old man with a whole loving family who cared for him and his desire to die had become a fear of wanting to live.. then and only then is he finally able to die

and it is not remotely tragic to me bc it ties everything together perfectly and i think leaves a very beautiful conclusion abt the nature of those lived experiences and ig subverting the narrative that the opposite of suicidal tendencies is the enthusiastic desire to live and not confronting the fact that death is inevitable but that fact isnt incompatible with living and loving and in fact quite the opposite that life is inherently a part of death and you cant die without having lived….

which ik is somewhat opposite of what i was saying the other day abt using suicidal characters to make a story about life instead of death but obviously sgrs is just obsessed with death from the title itself to the shinigami performance bookends and metaphors to very literal plot points could not be more heavy-handed with that lmao so this is tackling smth different but also in a unique way bc it still introduces the question of intention in the desire to live and plays with the concept of what it means to live a full life on a number of fronts between this issue and gender and non bio families and so on.

this is what you want isnt it this is what it means to die...... but it so obviously isn't what he wants like he spent so long fixating on what it meant to die that he forgot to consider what it meant to live and no matter how hard he tried or how much of his life he dedicated to it he was never able to see death for what it was bc he refused to see life for what it was and THAT is when the point of showing shinigami over and over again also comes together as kikuhiko has been performing this one piece again and again appearing to the audience as this agent of death honing the skill of playing the role but really perhaps he was always the human man in the story grappling with death and desperate to overcome it and forced to give into the fact that he cant… and he survives the attempt through the support of his family after yotaro finds him and that is the last time u see him perform it.

[littlenekosfan]

Friend - visual narrative

this is going to be a long thread bc i have a LOT of panels, so read under the cut!

since im reworking with Friend chapters panels, i paid attention to the details more than ever before.. and wow, the way these chapters are narrated is absolutely amazing

lets start off with my one of my fav panels

if there is a theme between these two that keep recurring it’s “duality” (whether when it comes to their character or the way their story is told) we will also find a lot of parallels with it.. this panel above starts it very well, one left, one right, they both call each other’s name, the expressions completely different, even the background is reversed

there we go again, all this in one chapter, i simply love how they have the same pose/image but reversed, its a really nice contrast with how different they are and yet are at the same level also, look at their speech bubbles, most of the time, jugram has a round one while bazz a sharper one, its the case here and the previous panels aswell

AGAIN! kubo gives us each’s pov with the same image/paneling, i love that method bc he treats them the same, even if one is stronger than the other and ppl will most likely root for/side with one more than the other, they both get the same treatment, also, we get to see how both lives the same struggle, it both conflicts them this whole fight considering the past they had together

the transition is also really nice, the black background outside the panel and the partial grey shading that matches with it inside the panel.. we will get to see that technique again, but here?? lovely.

a whole page not showing their face even if you guessed who they were, you get that little surprise with the face reveal which comes out really nice

the chapter reveal!!!! its so pure and empty (no dialogue and it’s only one panel), it perfectly empathize on the title and its meaning

i love how discreet bazz motive to help out jugo is shown here, obviously none of them would speak about it (jugo is pretty closed and bazz despite being loud, he isnt obnoxious and he’s smart) so it had to be shown without any words and these panels do it so well!

the first panel is just so beautiful and you can tell how jugo is just, happy. and then, the moment his uncle speaks, his face drastically changes, from white to black, kubo loves to work with that contrast of b&w (just look how the ritters/espadas are dressed vs shinigamis.. there is also the sun/moon theme and so on... its not called bleach for nothing lmao) kubo uses contrast very often and we can tell he loves to do it (and he does it super well!!)

i know we dont have any colour on these pages, but both pages are from the same chapter, first one (right) being their fist meeting on a normal day (probably an evening so the sky is orange ish) and the second page is again a jump to a flashback but this time it’s not the sky that we are shown in the last panel, but rather flames, the same colour as the day they met... the two last panels look the same but arent....

there is also the absence of facial expression in some panels, which imo conveys the mood much better, we are not left up to interpretation, we clearly know what kind of feelings that are expressed yet they didnt need to be shown...

again with the parallels (left/right) and using the same image from younger to older to show their growth? nice.

the built up with the grand reveal... wow, love it, also, that panel was such a surprise to me when i first read it... still give me goosebumps today ngl..(if you are a manga reader to likes to have the book, well, this the end of vol69... what an ending :))) just look at the build up, the bg is dark and you get that white and empty panel right after like, wow 

AGAIN WITH THE SUPRISE AND WOW IT HURTS, also the title being in capital... OOF, im going to loose it

ppl like to call kubo lazy with his titles, but is it?? i mean, here, i really cant think of a better title, remember how the first chapter friend was introduced? so sweet and smooth and then you get this... the fact friend is written here is a good call back to their relationship, what it is, what it really means, and the current situation

the way bazz recalls all the things he had heard about this.......th-that hurts (we’re like in his mind, we’re just as shocked as he is) also, it shows well how bazz recall all these moment in silence and does all the realization without saying a thing, bc no, he didnt say a thing ever since yhwach started to talk..

the left panel is yhwach talking (as he was for like the whole chapter) and there is no dialogue going on, the two boys didnt say a thing... as the slience was taking place, bazz breaks is with a shrieking voice, just looking how the letters are written in japanese, we went from pure, clear panel to a messy and dark one....

jump back to present, with both jugrams having the same pose but they both don’t convey the same feeling, with the shading and how cut it is (not being able to fully see jugo’s eyes) you can tell the first one is more disturbing/devastating than the second one

there we go... we get to see both of their expression at the same time and it change within the following panels,.. (im telling you, kubo love both of them, not just one.., both.)

this is one of my favorites moments, the way know bazz has lost his fight and how HE is self-conscious about it..., the way he monologues about jugram is really depressing, and how we are only given images that illustrates his struggle...the images are so strong, desperate and yet, his words are so empty, powerless, he knew he lost.. (the moment i start reading it, i cry on the fucking floor)

i mentioned earlier how i loved kubo’s choice in not showing the face, well we have it here again in a flashback and the end of the fight... jugram turning his back to bazz, he did it in the past and did it after bazz’ death..  it’s his way to avoid to face his feelings. (the fact we are shown he did it in the past and the reason to it, let us know why he did it again even later)

here again with empty panels, the fact it’s only bazz who is talking.... feels really heavy and the way he clings to jugram with burning hands....... you really need to look at every panel carefully to feel that heart wrenching moment,, there is no crying or screaming, he just softly admits his defeat and that’s it, like, im sorry but that’s fucking sorrowful

here again with kubo choosing to not show the face, but in this case, it’s harder for us to tell which expression jugram has (since he’s so closed about showing emotions or his intentions) but the fact kubo deliberately chose to hide it proves jugram has something to hide from us, something he didnt want us (readers) to see.........

these panels? concludes their story perfectly you have jugram walking up the stairs leaving bazz-b alone laying behind, being reminded of the day they met where bazz was the one standing high while jugram is on the ground the setting: the cold empty castle during nighttime vs the warm summer day met in a forest at daytime bazz reached to jugram and jugram left him behind, they met with touched hearts only to leave with empty ones, bazz used to look down on jugram and now, jugram does, they used to be so different and still do but only now, their role are inverted...

thank you @equipollency​ for that remark! i think your post does it much better if yall wanna read it !

i mentioned earlier how the background (outside the panel) would change from black to white, we know the black means the past,  but i love how its broken here, going back and forth from the past and present (within the same page) to show how things are still the same between them, the same struggle, the same fight over and over

also, the “not yet” is just so perfectly placed, i cant, it just emphasize even more on my point earlier (how things between them never changed on that matter)  and it finally concludes the flashbacks (with the way it’s presented: the b&w,, and the words themselves, how they weight so much)

the black shading like that is rarely used with kubo but when he does, you know it conveys extreme emotions (we didnt get to see it with bazz bc it wasnt as intense as jugram has it but also)  the trigger to these emotions for jugram are related to trauma, the first one being his uncle and the second being his friendship (im not calling his relation with bazz traumatic, its how important this relationship was to him and how ended up broken that triggers him)

but NaKi ThErE iS ThiS pAneL wHerE baZz Is ShaDeD bLacK! yes i know, but it’s not about bazz expression nor emotions, its about the scene, the situation (the white bg vs the black silhouette: perfect), so no it doesnt count, but its still a very nice panel just like with the jugo’s reveal with everyone “kneeling” to him.. white bg was The way to go

i forgot to talk about how i like their fight, how there is so little dialogue and how there are a lot of empty pages just to let place to the fight... it lets you enjoy their fight while we suffer with their flashback, anyways, im not a fan of endless dialogue in fights unless it really changes something, here, they both already know each other and they know what they want, so it was a good pick to just, us reader, witness their story through their mind instead of them narrating/recalling it to us

i know kubo uses that technique outside of these chapters, but the grey shading... i love.. he also has a LOT of close ups with eyes bc we all know how expressive eyes are;... i love that too

i know i talked about some facial expressions, but really, kubo’s art is amazing, the way he can convey certain expressions that are so precise... here, have some panels that i think are underrated naki your boys are underrated.. bc i love kubo’s art so much

i had the chance to see the colored version only once, and to be honest, the black and white is just, Amazing. nothing close to that, kubo’s use of b&w and how he keeps his panels pure is MADE to stay that way

anyways, im really in love with how Friend was made and thought out in it’s visual narrative (and story wise too ofc), kubo didnt just do a side story, these chapters are fucking amazing and ppl often ignores that sadly..