#we're gonna craft some FLAWS in her

[akatsukirites]

━━ ❛ POUR YOUR MISERY DOWN ON ME ❋  You wanna hear about my new obsession? I'm riding high upon a deep depression I'm only happy when it rains

[ohwhatagloomyshow]

I think I have one more Bloodmarked post and then I'm gonna try to be done:

I left my own 3-star review on Goodreads so I read some other ones, and it cracks me up that a lot of folks explicitly mention that Bree's choices with her ancestors felt OOC/took them out of it, when I found it to be the most compelling and understandable part of the ending. I LOVED it. Especially reading Deonn's afterward in both books, as much as she writes about honoring our ancestors, and the way the love of our ancestors brings us to where we are...our own relationship to that is allowed to be fraught and complicated.

It felt very in sync with Deonn's goals to have Bree say "no, this is putting so much on me, I cannot be both - I cannot be your weapon and myself." There's only so much we're able to do to honor our lost loved ones, and a lot of times we all struggle with trying to honor those who came before us at the expense of ourselves.

So Bree's choice to put herself first - in a sense for the first time since we met her/since she learned about her ancestry - felt very true and real to me.

Plus, so many readers talk about wanting flawed characters who make bad choices - maybe this is a bad choice for Bree! Maybe she's going to regret this! The narrative is probably going to go in a way that says "there are healthy ways to do both, you don't throw everything out because it's hard" - and it's gonna be so good to follow Bree as she learns this.

Like, her behavior to me at the end is value-neutral. I didn't find it disrespectful or arrogant or foolish. I found it to be true. I think it makes Bree more complex, and it makes Deonn's themes more complex as well - to have both Volition AND Bree drying up those streams! Both can - and probably should! - exist in the narrative Deonn is crafting.

And sometimes 17 year olds are rash!! It's fine!

[daggersandarrows]

out of curiosity what don’t you like about imo/dna and some of the fans?

i'm extremely hesitant to engage with this at all (learned my lesson last campaign) but basically, and i'm hoping people take this in good faith: i was gonna say there's nothing i don't like about im*dna, but to be totally honest i do find that the direction it went with in canon fell a bit flat for me. which is not to say i actively dislike it, i just don't personally love it. and to be fair all of campaign three is just not holding my attention for whatever reason.

i think the fandom has a very strong tendency to flatten literally any two female characters* into "THEY'RE LESBIANS" and give them the personalities of wet cardboard that occasionally makes out. and i get it, femslash is rare, the og bechdel test, etc etc. the urge to take any two female characters and Put Them Together is strong.

but i think it's such a shame that people feel the need to impose this cookie cutter, cutesie anygirl gay personality onto critical role characters specifically. because we're NOT working with flat cw characters that the writers are gonna queerbait us about on twitter before it gets cancelled five seasons in where the gayest moment is one of them putting a hand on the other's shoulder that gets giffed a million times. this isn't even a well intentioned ship written by gay writers who consistently get screwed over by the network. this is not glee, this is not disney, this is not marvel, this is not star wars.

this is a show with well written canonically queer women that have complex, intimately explored relationships that the fandom is hell bent on flattening into super boring recreations of traditional relationships where they must get married and they must have children and one of them is the breadwinner while the other one is a housewife and there's a white picket fence etc etc etc. and it drives me. fucking. nuts. i was on my phone in the theater during episode one of campaign three and people started shipping im*dna within the first five minutes. and i'm not saying there's anything wrong with that per se, but at that point, what is the ship based on if not stuff you're completely making up and then stuffing into the shell of these character's physical appearance?

beauyasha last campaign was so well developed; they both had strong individual emotional journeys that intersected with each other only once beau was ready to accept that she deserved love and yet they were woven together from the beginning. every single goddamn beauyasha moment hits so hard--the first flight, the letter, the tower date, the cathedral--because the groundwork was laid out and both characters plus the relationship was developed with so much care. kimallura lives in my head rent free as one of my favorite love stories and i haven't even finished campaign one. and both characters are matt! i know those are the "endgame" ships and that's all anyone cares about, but everyone else--keyleth, zahra, vex, reani, keg, cali, fearne, deanna--and those are just the pcs--have been well crafted and complex women who are all over the spectrum of "very promiscuous" to "idk about kissing", who have different priorities and feelings and interests and virtues and flaws. it just breaks me to see them filed down to nothing.

EDIT: i totally forgot about the bright queen and her partner. i haven't read the comic yet, i know, i'm sorryyyy

*massive disclaimer that it's not just the femslash; i have just as long a rant on the m/m ships and i think this is why i've carved out my niche of trans bi m/f ships lol. which is not to say those shippers are automatically good either, there's just literally far fewer people shipping them.

[natromanxoff]

Queen live at Wembley Stadium in London, UK - July 12, 1986 (Part-1)

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The second night at Wembley Stadium is probably the most famous and well-documented concert of Queen's career. It was filmed by 15 cameras with the initial intention to air it on TV in October. David Bowie was rumoured to join the band on stage for Under Pressure, but it never materialized. Mick Jagger was in the audience, and hung out with the band before the show.

The band, particularly Freddie, seem to be a bit nervous at various points tonight, knowing well that this was the big show that was being filmed to be seen by millions of people throughout the ages. His voice is in not quite as good shape as it was last night, which led to many vocal overdubs being done for the TV/radio simulcast and official releases. Brian's nerves also reveal themselves early on, as he messes up the tapping solo in the middle of One Vision (the only time he ever missed it), and later he completely omits the first half of the Hammer To Fall solo (which he also did in Brussels).

All of these slight flaws aside, the video demonstrates how Queen had simply mastered their craft, having arguably orchestrated the perfect stadium show. It reveals a band who, through the unparalleled showmanship and charisma of Freddie Mercury, were able to connect with every one of the 72,000 people on hand. Brian May would later refer to Queen's touring work ethic as becoming "a well-oiled machine" when in the swing of things.

Pics 4 is a great shot of the blow-ups of the band members released into the sky during A Kind Of Magic. One of them was found by an old lady in her back yard the next morning.

Before Who Wants To Live Forever, Freddie insists, "we're gonna stay together until we fucking well die, I'm sure." There is a mighty truth to the statement which he certainly may have been aware of at this point.

After the impromptu, Brian May puts on a clinic of how to construct a guitar solo. A polar opposite of last night's mediocre solo spot, tonight's rendition is simply magnificent, and perhaps the definitive example of his musicality in the spotlight.

This is another one of those shows where Freddie shouts "Go Johnny!" during the instrumental part of Now I'm Here, referencing Johnny B. Goode by Chuck Berry.

The bobby hat Mercury is seen with in the acoustic set he stole from a side stage officer during the Newcastle show, in clear view of the audience!

The band attempt a couple more covers tonight, both for the last time - Gimme Some Lovin' and Big Spender. The songs had been tried out earlier in the tour, and the latter had been performed often throughout the 70s.

A fan recalls: "Freddie was perfect, he managed to bring the audience into the show in a way that felt really encompassing and natural. He was on our side and we were on his. Outside of Prince I can't think of any performer I've seen that has managed to bring an audience together as well as he did. It felt communal. His posteuring was always accompanied by a sly tongue-in-cheek understanding that this was a show and he was performing, but he always had a little wink or tongue poke that broke any sense of pomposity. The love for Freddie from the audience was palpable in a way I haven't felt since."

After the show, billed as "Dicky Hart And The Pacemakers" for fun, Queen and some other stars, including Cliff Richard and Samantha Fox, had a jam session at the Kensington Roof Gardens Night Club. Tutti Frutti and Sweet Little Rock And Roller were among the songs played. Short video clips have turned up in documentaries, like The Magic Years.

Samantha Fox recalls: "I sang with Freddie Mercury at a party once and that was fantastic. I couldn’t believe it when he pulled me up. It was their private party in Kensington. As soon as you got into the lift there were naked women painted green, like a forest. They had midgets with little trays of drinks. You just knew it was going to be a brilliant party. Queen took the stage and they jammed for about an hour [the party itself went until about 9am]. It was amazing. And Gary Glitter got up, too! He pulled me up and asked me what songs I knew. And you know when you can’t think? I asked if he knew Touch Me and he laughed and said, 'What about Go Johnny Go?’ We ended up singing that together. It was amazing to do a duet with Freddie."

The party itself was a tame affair for a mere 500 guests, including designers Yves St Laurent, Giorgio Armani, Calvin Klein, David and Elizabeth Emanuel, and Queen's old colleague Zandra Rhodes, who'd designed outfits for them in 1974. One publication recalls, "Queen held a famous party after their Wembley concert in July 1986 at the Roof Garden above Kensington High Street where 500 guests included Cliff Richard, Spandau Ballet and Gary Glitter. 'The uniform of every waiter, boy or girl, was body paint,' remembers Gary. 'At first you didn't notice they had nothing on, then you did a double take and thought, Wow! Only Queen would have thought to do this.' Among the other delights laid on for the guests were a scantily-clad woman on duty in the men's toilet and an equally under-dressed gent in the ladies ready to render whatever assistance was asked. That night Freddie made a point of being seen with Mary Austin on his arm. His boyfriend Jim Hutton was nowhere in sight."

Pics 2 through 4 were taken by Mark Alexander.

(x)

Part-2

[hereticalapothecary]

i wanna believe we're free to practice witchcraft. i want to. but we're not. idk what you're doing. we can't have sex with people we're not married to, we can't party, we can't swear, we can't practice craft. it breaks my heart, but my mom says it's just breaking the sinful part that christ meant to save us from. i'm working on choking out that part of myself. you should, too. save yourself and go back to our god.

Hey friend. I understand where you're coming from; I really do. Because honestly, I've been there. I tried doing that. I tried being the perfect Evangelical child. I tried so hard and even wound up with a Biblical Studies degree from a high ranking evangelical university. I served others to the point of seriously damaging my own well being. I know Koine Greek well enough to extrapolate various biblical arguments and analyze them and the accuracy of interpretation. I tried so hard to save myself in order to be God's Perfect Daughter and do you know what it felt like? Personality prison. My sister and her husband once hid the fact that they celebrated the New Year with a glass of wine from my parents because for a while my mom wasn't sure that Christians should drink alcohol. I hid my own sexuality from myself for years. I hid my anger, my frustrations, my questions. Following all the right rules didn't make me a better Christian, it made me a sneakier one. And it loaded me with guilt and shame because anytime I thought I messed up I assumed God was just...frustrated by how horrible I was. I couldn't stand how unbiblical I was, why would God even bother with me? It didn't help that I'd developed anxiety and depression from the age of 16 and didn't get help because no, I was too good, too kind and caring, I got good grades, I looked good. That supposed salvation condemned me to hide myself from myself. And when I got angry about things like child abuse and racism and homophobia in the church, my mom basically told me that I'm reading too many negative things about the church and that I need to be more involved with the good churches that aren't like those other bad ones because Not All Christians are like that. Do you know what choking yourself of these things does? It hurts you. It keeps you from breathing. If your salvation comes at the cost of enjoying your life and yourself, what is it worth? I tried so hard to choke all those parts of me and it eventually broke me. It put a wedge between me and my family, between me and God. Strangely enough, it was discovering ritualistic faith/Christian witchcraft that began to mend the bond between me and God. The day I decided to explore it, I had a dream where I watched Jesus come to life out of stone. It renewed my faith, my desire to know God as She truly is, not just as what I was told to believe. You tell me I should save myself, but Jesus already did. And I use my craft to connect to God, to pray to Her, to love others and myself. I use it as a form of worship. I don't need to try to be anyone but myself to be saved, to be free. Maybe it will be different for you. I hope so. I hope you are able to live authentically to yourself within the church. But for me, Christian witchcraft brought me back to God. Leaving evangelicalism was a healthy and necessary choice for me. I found freedom and laughter. I don't drink, I don't smoke. I have a fiancé, soon to be my wife. (And for some people I'm already going to hell for that lol. If I'a already going to hell, I'm gonna go with a lot of love in my heart for myself and others and be true to myself.) I have friends who encourage me and listen to me and don't just say "I'll pray for you." They let me talk about my feelings and beliefs, even if they don't agree with me on some of them. If God is love, shouldn't that love be freeing rather than confining? If God is love, then why do people insist that love means changing who you are in order for God to love you, in order to be worthy? If God is love, why does that mean that it's God's way or eternal suffering, that God is always right and we are always wrong? Is that truly love? If your God was your significant other or parental figure, would it be called love, or would it show signs of abuse? If God is love, why do I feel so miserable following every letter of the Bible, every ideal of the Perfect Christian? I hope you have a better experience than me. But for me, this is what freedom looks like. I light a votive candle and burn a sigil asking God to help me love myself. I use the herbs of the earth God has made for us to celebrate life, petition them and God to aid me. I get to take part in the act of creation. And if I am wrong, I am wrong. But I do not believe that living authentically and enjoying yourself is contrary to the love of God. I am human. I am flawed. And I love that. Sorry for writing such a long response. If you read this whole thing, good on you! I wish you the very best, but I am afraid I cannot return to what once damaged my spirit. I pray that your relationship with God only deepens and allows you to be true to yourself. Take care, friend.