#weird fucked up uncle and weird neurotic nephew?

[jcmorrigan]

Another f/o ramble...but this time, not a selfshippy one. This one’s more about ficfam, so I guess “ficfam” is another tag to block if you don’t wanna see my ridiculousness (and I do wanna come up with a weird name for our family unit as well for tags)

But lately, I realized I kind of...needed a certain type of parental f/o. Sometimes you just...feel there are parts of you the RL parents don’t get, even if the RL parents are extremely nice. And sometimes you just want somebody to tell you they’re proud of you in a very, very big sense at a time when it wouldn’t be convenient for RL parents to do so. Or maybe “you” is “just me.”

I’d kind of accepted Archibald Snatcher as a distant father-mentor figure a while back because I managed to pick up some of his silver-tongued manipulation skills to talk my way out of minor sticky situations and resolve work stuff, and I always imagine him thinking I’m just a wonderful little protégé...but I wanted some imaginary ‘rents I could rely on for affection anywhere, anytime, and Archie isn’t that.

So this time, I thought about Giovanni and what contributed to him being such a good romantic f/o, and realized a big part of that was that he was in a morally gray place - I like having someone around who’s kind and sensitive and fun, but also lets me do some BAD THINGS and allows me freedom. So I realized my ideal parental f/o’s had to be somewhere in that range. I had thought about Globby and Felony Carl, but it didn’t quite click (even though I think they have super Dorky Dad vibes). But then another idea hit me...and I think I have the answer? I’ve been liking it for almost 24 hours, anyway.

I think Moxxie and Millie from Helluva Boss are my parental f/o’s now.

They fit the moral gray spectrum - they have intense loyalty to each other and display the love of the sweetest family units, but they’re also trained assassins who solve problems with guns. And, just, thinking about it, giving myself an AU where I was an imp raised in VivzieHell (I imagined myself as a kiddo being raised by them from youth, so a lot of these will sound kiddish)...

-Millie is just a bundle of love. She’s always chipper and singing and dancing with me, playing games.

-Moxxie is a bit more straitlaced, and he’s not exactly the “fun parent,” but I can’t stay mad at him for too long, because he’ll personally come into my room and sing me a song he wrote especially for me on his guitar until I fall asleep.

-I was a very...emotional child, even more so than I am now. I had anger issues. Unfortunately, living with these two would not have solved that, as their resolution to problems is to 1. scream at it 2. kill it with fire, but in this AU, I kind of like being able to just get angry and be a loose cannon and just LOSE all decorum and get it off my freakin’ CHEST. Let me have some more meltdowns to achieve more calm-down time.

-Speaking of which, Moxxie and I would be cut from the same cloth in that regard, and if Millie can handle Moxxie’s mood swings, she can handle mine!

-I also think Moxxie being so neurotic would also give him some sympathy for having a hypochondriac daughter who thinks she has cancer every five months or so. (Even if his first reaction is always a very deadpan “You don’t have cancer.”)

-But during purges, we’re all three scared and just huddle in the back bedroom together.

-When I get a new crush, Millie wants to hear all about THE BOOOYYYYY and goes on a big old quest to get him and me on a DATE!

-They’re Viv characters, so I have no doubt they’re 100% A-okay with having an ace daughter...even if I have to be grossed out with constant reminders that my parents FUCK ALL THE TIME

-Anyone hurts me? Oh, they’re about to meet the business end of every single one of Moxxie and Millie’s weapons.

-That person’s double dead if it was a boy who broke my heart.

-(Shared universe? Giovanni is safe. They LOVE Giovanni. Actually, XR is enough of a “sinner” that Millie would think of him as a perfect bad boy, and Tony knows he’s gotta play the gentleman around these two or the Moxxie-bomb will explode. So I think all three of my romantic f/o’s have an in.)

-From the time I was small, both of them were so ready to praise anything I did creatively and mean it. “You drew this? This is beautiful! I’m gonna put this on the fridge!” Now that I’m older, they actually check my fanfiction word count. “THAT’S A WHOLE NOVEL! THAT’S SO GREAT!”

-When I was a child, it took me a LONG time to learn to swear because I thought it was Against the Rules and therefore a very bad thing. Growing up with these two, I would not have had that problem. Baby Rachel’s first word is “Fuck” despite their every attempt to make it “Moxxie”

-Actually, growing up in Hell might be a weirdly good thing for me? Because I could get exposure therapy for my fears and also see that The Rules aren’t all they’re cracked up to be. And this society doesn’t mind if I break a few.

-Basically, I grow up a lot more boisterous than I am now, for better or for worse. Maybe my character arc has to be about softening up enough to keep friends.

-But Moxxie and Millie would be loyal to me even at my loneliest and keep checking in on my emotional state. No way I get a depression spell they don’t notice.

-I feel like they would call me “Our little poison-dart frog!”.

-Also they teach me the art of murder and dismemberment. This is a dark AU. But I can finally exact REVENGE whenever I want REVENGE (note: I WOULD NOT WANT DEADLY REVENGE IRL)

-Blitzo is my weird uncle who Moxxie keeps trying to keep away from me because he thinks he’s being a “creep” but Blitzo means well and ends up taking me out to have some fun hang-out days because we all know he wants a kid of his own too if Loona is any indication

-Also, so long as I’m in VivzieHell, I feel like working concierge at the Happy/Hazbin Hotel would actually be a perfect fit for me so I can actually move OUT of my imp parents’ house? Charlie would need all the help she could get and is the ideal type for one of my BEST FRIENDOS. Also this would allow me to interact with people, get up and get moving daily, work unconventional hours, and be in the one part of Hell where a sense of morality actually matters.

-As for even WEIRDER crossovers...ever since Helluva Boss debuted, I’ve been dying to stick Moxxie/Millie and Nergal/Sis from Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy on a double date (and YES, Nergal would use his fourth wall powers to figure out that Moxxie has his nephew’s voice actor). Like, this is the subject of a whole other post, but you have Millie and Nergal skipping through the oceans of blood together while Sis and Moxxie make sardonic comments about passerby. Anyway, if I can blend these two ‘verses (or do something about giving my Twilight Town s/i to this crew for TBTC), then I get to have Uncle Nergal, Aunt Sis, and Cousin Junior (WE DON’T. TALK. ABOUT MY CRUSH-ON-NERGAL PHASE. HE’S MY FICFAM NOW). And I just love all three of those prospects so much.

I don’t know if I’m going to flesh out a full impverse for myself (anyone got a demon-maker Picrew that will let me have crimson skin and horns on hand?) or if I’m going to find a way to shoehorn this into TBTC with Rachel Inlustris, but right now, I just like imagining that at the end of a hard day, Moxxie comes up beside me, puts an arm around me, and says, “You did so good, little poison-dart frog.”