#well y'see Dave's the mom and Jack's the mom

[wario-speedwagon]

Dave and Old Sport Adopt a Kid: Chapter 4

Hi ho cheerio, friendos, I got another chapter here for ya! You know the drill, full text under the cut, and hope you enjoy :)

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

The hum of the car’s motor filled the silence between a discontented Jack and the short passenger beside him.

“...”

“...”

The young girl’s legs could barely reach past the edge of her car seat, nor did her eye level reach far over the side car window, but she was entranced nonetheless by the passing scenery around her.

Jack had a bad feeling about all this, but what could he do? He was resigned to the position Dave had forced him into.

Fredbear have mercy on that eggplant’s soul the moment Jack next laid his eyes on him.

“...”

Jack thought of striking up some banter, but nothing seemed natural to bring up. She wouldn’t be able to respond verbally anyway.

“...Roll down the window if you want. Handle’s over by you.”

He looked over.

No response from the hypnotized girl.

“...”

He turned his eyes back to the road.

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Jack locked the front door behind them, letting Pruny enter the house before him. She stood there in the middle of his living room, taking in her surroundings with interest.

“Stay here, I’m gonna bring out some blankets.”

He left her to her fascination with the grandfather clock as he headed for his room down the hallway.

As he reached the hallway though, Pruny ran over to catch up to him.

Jack hid a sigh and let her stick to his side.

He entered his room. There was only the one comforter on his bed; and when he checked his closet, he saw it was empty of all but clothes. Relocating so often, he never kept much stuff beyond the stingy necessities.

…Jeez.

He went to the bathroom and pulled some folded towels from under the sink; they’d have to be better than nothing at this rate.

“Here’s the bathroom if you need it by the way.”

But then he stopped and considered:

“Do you– How about this: why don’t you shower up, and I’ll go make us dinner?”

With a moment of consideration, she shyly consented.

“You’re… good on your own, right? Just use the bar soap, dry off when you’re done, put on that new shirt…?”

She nodded.

Thank god.

He started the shower for her.

“Alright, uhh, if you need me– I don’t know, scream at the top of your lungs or something.”

And with her acknowledgement, he closed the bathroom door behind him, leaving her to it.

...And then he collapsed against the hallway wall and sighed out the conflicted tension he’d been ignoring in front of her.

…Fuck…

He stayed against that wall, reviewing his thoughts for a savored minute of privacy.

“...”

But then with a concluding sigh, he finally pushed himself back on his feet.

“Alright… grilled cheese…”

So to the kitchen he went. There’s no way he wouldn’t have the ingredients on hand.

Jack entered the room, and then time suddenly stopped.

“...”

The motherfucker sat there across the kitchen, leaning against the counter, smiling knowingly back at him.

Jack made a mad scramble for his ridiculous neck.

Yet Dave casually intercepted both of his struggling wrists and held them at bay in front of him as he cheerfully greeted:

“Why hello there, old sport!”

“–the FUCK’d you leave her behind with me!?”

“Chillax, pal, I think you’re overreactin’ just a bit.”

“–gonna skin you ALIVE, Aubergine–!”

“Jeez, aren’t you a piece o’ work tonight! Listen, old–”

“–Get out of my house, and take her with you!”

“Oh come on, don’t be fuckin’ stupid! I already told you I ain’t got anywhere to take her to!”

He let go of a slightly less feral Jack.

“‘Sides, look how much she’s warmed up to ya! You really gonna just dump her off outta the blue like that after inviting her into your home!?”

“You’re the one who dumped her off onto me, scumbag!

Now take her and leave, or I walk.”

“Old sport, I don’t understand. Why’re you so sore about this? Don’t tell me you hate Pruny that much?”

“This has nothing to do with her.”

“R-Really? Then why–”

“I’m not taking care of another kid and that’s final.”

“‘–a-another’...?”

Jack winced at his Freudian slip.

“Sportsy, you’re not… a father–?”

“Drop it.

“But–”

“Get your ass off my oven so I can make dinner.”

“S-Sure, but– I already took care o’ that for ya! Least I could do!”

“What.”

“Even set the table and everything!”

Jack turned around to see the table with three plates of dark brown rectangles accompanied by glasses of what he presumed to be tap water.

“Y-You…”

Closer inspection of their “dinner” disconcerted Jack.

“What the hell did you DO to–!? Why Pop-Tarts!?”

“Heh heh! Not bad, eh–”

“–They’re CHARRED!”

“Yeah, ‘xactly!”

“WHAT D’YOU MEAN, ‘XACTLY’!?”

“Everything’s tastiest well-done!”

“Who raised you like this!?”

“Ah, no one in particular! Now quit yer belly-aching and just–”

“No no nosiree, you’re gonna take that so-called ‘dinner’ and go while I make us something that’s actually edible!”

“...Wait, so you– you’ll let her stay then?”

“Leave.”

“Son of a gun, you do have a heart rattlin’ around in there!”

“Tch–!”

Jack threw a Pop-Tart at him in lieu of a retort as he turned around for the fridge.

“Well, alright, if you reeeaallly don’t want me here t’ help out, then I supposed I’ll just be on m–

OH– Pruny, that shirt looks GREAT on you!~”

Jack looked back to see Dave looking down at the wet child who was leaned up against the wall corner in her horribly oversized shirt. Jack feared how long she might have been eavesdropping, although–

“Sw– Sweetie, you need to turn the shower off when you’re done–!”

“...Sweetie.”

Jack resisted the urge to commit a crime of passion as he walked past Dave’s insufferable grin.

(Chapter 5) ->