#when i still struggle SO MUCH with these feelings of inadequacy and just constantly underestimate myself

[howlandreads]

Feminine Rebellion In ASOIAF

One of the things I love most about ASOIAF is how carefully crafted each of the female main characters are. GRRM has taken so much time to create meaningful characters that aren’t stereotypical, sexist, or caricatured. Though each female character is unique and shows a different perspective of what it’s like to live in such an incredibly patriarchal society, I think the three I find most interesting are Sansa, Arya, and Cersei.  Each of them shows one of the three main ways a woman can react to the expectations a patriarchal society places on them.  Sansa reacts by fully embracing society’s expectations of her, Arya reacts by rejecting the expectations she’s not naturally suited for and pursuing other skills, and Cersei reacts by becoming embittered towards everybody, but especially other women she views as not fighting hard enough for her idea of women’s equality in Westeros.  In their own way each of these points of views is fighting against the sexist society they’re living in (some in a much healthier way than others).  It’s fascinating what can be learned from the perspective of each of these three women, and I love that GRRM gave us these contrasting characters.  I think understanding how each of them relates to the societal expectations around them is crucial to understanding them fully as characters, so it’s worthwhile to break down each of these reactions to patriarchal society:

Sansa

Of all the female perspectives in ASOIAF, Sansa’s rebellion against her circumstances is often the most subtle, but it is effective and important nonetheless.  Though Sansa has mostly catered to the Westerosi male standard of what a woman “should be” (she excels at activities like needlework, is polite to a fault, and constantly thinks about the duties of a Lady) she still uses these attributes to help those around her and put herself in a better social position.  Despite being ridiculed endlessly by the likes of Cersei, Joffrey, and the Hound for her kindness and pleasantries, she still never gives up on her ideal of what a true Lady should be.  Instead of allowing her situation to make her bitter and resentful, she stays resiliently gentle throughout her whole arch, even when she’s in the throes of depression. Just because her rebellions against society are gentle doesn’t make them any less worthwhile.  Each time she refuses to play the part that’s expected of her, even when it’s subtle, ends up leading to a defining character moment or to an improvement in her circumstance – for instance, the Hound expects her to play the role of scared little girl, but instead she remains polite and caring just as a lady should, choosing to comfort him instead of shy away from him, which leads to him protecting her later.  This type of scenario happens over and over again – her decision to show no outer signs of distress while Joffrey torments her so as not to allow him the satisfaction, her choosing to de-stress the guests in Maegor’s Holdfast during Blackwater when Cersei expects her to beg for her life.  Westeros’s patriarchal society has forced roles upon Sansa, expecting her to be weak because of them, but instead she takes every opportunity to prove that courtesy, kindness, and goodness are strengths that shouldn’t be underestimated.  It should also be noted that Sansa’s strength can be seen in more obvious rebellions, like her actually physically fighting against her marriage to Tyrion:

“Sansa tried to run, but Cersei's handmaid caught her before she'd gone a yard. Ser Meryn Trant gave her a look that made her cringe, but Kettleblack touched her almost gently and said, ‘Do as you're told, sweetling, it won't be so bad. Wolves are supposed to be brave, aren't they?’

Brave. Sansa took a deep breath. I am a Stark, yes, I can be brave.”

- Sansa III, A Storm of Swords

Arya

Though some people view Arya as a simple tomboy, her character is actually much more complex than that.  Arya is naturally considerably less suited for Westeros’s idea of what a highborn lady should be, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t wish she was suited for life as a lady:

“Arya's stitches were crooked again.  She frowned down at them with dismay and glanced over to where her sister Sansa sat among the other girls. Sansa's needlework was exquisite. Everyone said so.”

- Arya I, A Game of Thrones

She is upset by the fact that she isn’t as capable of lady-like activities as Sansa is, and that constant feeling of inadequacy is mostly what’s driven her to pursuing other interests like swordplay.  But rather than wallow in her feelings of inadequacy, she embraces the talents she’s better suited for.  One of my favorite things about her character is that she never lingers too long on the conflict of her refusal to meet society’s expectations.  Instead of worrying about her identity as a female in a patriarchal society, she just digs deeper into her identity as a “wolf”:

“Arya was a trial, it must be said. Half a boy and half a wolf pup. Forbid her anything and it became her heart's desire.”

- Catelyn VII, A Clash of Kings

“Yes, Arya thought. Yes, it's you who ought to run, you and Lord Tywin and the Mountain and Ser Addam and Ser Amory and stupid Ser Lyonel whoever he is, all of you better run or my brother will kill you, he's a Stark, he's more wolf than man, and so am I.”

- Arya VIII, A Clash of Kings

Though Arya takes every chance she can get to rebel against the expectations Westeros has for women, it’s never a conscious decision she decided to make – it’s just her nature:

“’You look different now. Like a proper little girl.’

“I look like an oak tree, with all these stupid acorns.’”

- Arya IV, A Storm of Swords

Arya misses a lot about her life at Winterfell, but the fineries of highborn life aren’t one of them. Despite the fact that she’s slowly turning into a total badass, GRRM has still managed to make sure her character has a subtle feminism that’s never too on the nose.  She’s a strong woman, who can take of herself, but it’s never overly emphasized, and it’s never the only dimension her character has.  All of her development into a warrior of sorts is always tied to her inner struggle about what it means to be a Stark:

"’The wolf blood.’ Arya remembered now. ‘I'll be as strong as Robb. I said I would.’ She took a deep breath, then lifted the broomstick in both hands and brought it down across her knee. It broke with a loud crack, and she threw the pieces aside. I am a direwolf, and done with wooden teeth.”

- Arya X, A Clash of Kings

Cersei

Of these three characters, Cersei’s method of coping with patriarchal expectations is by far the most maladaptive.  While Arya acknowledges that she’s very different from most women in Westeros, she still loves to befriend them and bares them no ill will.  Cersei, on the other hand, views herself as superior above all women because of her awareness of the expectations and men that are holding her back. Her resentment against patriarchy has actually led her to contribute to the problem by being horribly prejudiced against the majority of women who she views as unintelligent and weak.  Some of the best examples of Cersei’s prejudice against women is her unnecessary hostility towards Sansa and Margaery:

“Dontos chuckled. ‘My Jonquil's a clever girl, isn't she?’

‘Joffrey and his mother say I'm stupid.’"

- Sansa IV, A Clash of Kings

“The king studied her a moment. ‘Perhaps you're not so stupid as Mother says.’"

-          Sansa I, A Clash of Kings

“If Margaery Tyrell thinks to cheat me of my hour in the sun, she had bloody well think again.”

- Cersei  V, A Feast For Crows

Though a lot of her hostility can be explained by her fear of the YMBQ, it still has a lot to do with her bitterness towards women.  Instead of viewing other women as her comrades in a fight for equality, she prefers to see herself as a pseudo-man, and uses that position to further oppress other women.  Though Cersei views herself as the only woman in Westeros who’s truly fighting the patriarchy, she’s actually contributing to the system that holds women back.

I love the contrast between these three.  Each of their actions makes total sense when considering their back stories and past traumas.  Though some view Sansa as weak, Arya as approaching sociopathy, and Cersei as a one note villain, GRRM has actually crafted them to be multi-dimensional characters that avoid tropes, while staying morally grey and intriguing.