#which is SO funny. very 'he's my best friend we argued for 2 hrs straight yesterday & we've hung out for 14 hrs straight since then'

[spring-lxcked]

thinking abt how often william gets away with being an asshole because he plays it off as being mischievous instead

[chaotickidcat]

true...but what if your such white fucking trash garbage and do not deserve her? And that you know that your such a piece of shit and no one deserves you or the BS. So how can somebody love a piece of shit not worth anything but shit 24/7. Would love to change and that for a while now. I stopped coke and porn and would love to fully stop drinking and smoking but I simply can't I need help and willing to accept help since i really would love to change and make her happy she deserves to be happy every minute of the day. And even if the whole fucking Internet hates me I acctually do not give a shit about your diss Orgy here. I Love her...and I really do ! Ok true Boobs are negotiable and if you realy love your wife you woulden't want her to run around with 2160cc.. but I admid I love big tits the bigger the better. I do not understand the problem here and that the WWW is trying to make me feel guilty. I see it this way I respect everybody's sexual Orientation if Gay Trans what so ever! You can have your little 19 years old boyfirend with 65 who cares...! (not ok with pedos though) you can have objectophilia and love the Busstation or your favorite tree or your VIBE. I think if I can bring up the respect and the tolerance so can you and I do not think it's asked to much if you expect something from me to at least give the same in return. I admid I love her breast... there are countless Men out there who dream of having such a wife. I NEVER FORCED her to do this NEVER ! I said I cold live with it and also without since we got a TON of PORNStars out there in the WEB. No my wife said she is not happy that I watch porn sometimes and I admid the truth the whole coke was messing this up big time aswell..true. I asked her since several weeks if she really wants to spend that cash on the tits. I said lets do your USA trip instead and if you feel like doing your boobs we can see Dr Revis and than still have more than 1/2 of the cash we spend on Dr Plovier. My wife was telling me she had pain in hr right breast so an OP was acctually inevitable. I asked her if she would like to reduce her breast instead..she said no. She even insisted and said I love em and I am used to them it would feel like she would miss something. So we decided together so see Dr Plovier since he is europes leading expert in this field of expertise. She decided to go and even came up with nearly 18.000 euros we spend on that trip and I have my doubts where the money came from. Now I acctually even refused going and said we should not do that its too much money. I love you with or with out tits and I really do. Some dreams shoud simply stay dreams. I even refused to go with her to Belgium and said let's not do it and if you still want to go on your own than take your friend mdm Garcia with you fo rtranslating. I even offerd her to take care of all her expenses if she would go. This totally broke out into a serious discussion. I said I prefer you to stay the way you are now than having all the men in this World trying to take you from me. I do not wanted to loose her. Though I admid I said... since your always complaining about housework and me gaming she would have the perfect Arguments do anything she asked me for and I mean who the fuck would want to play  Sony Playstation or WOW if she says .. hunney please could you ..Hell I would and I would run. Yes. So now after the Surgery. I asked her everyday like at least several hundred times if she is ok if she can handle it because if not we are still in Belgium and he can do them smaller. I seriously did evryday. I said we can call the Surgens office and simply decrese the volume since that is perfectly do able with expanders thats what they are made for. If too big you can simply decrese volume within in minutes with no further surgery. She denied the whole week. and she really did not want to. I admid I feelt a bit guilty but I was also totally hyped by her breasts and let my self a bit go on Twitter but I asked her if she is ok with it she said yes. And well She got me there with you guys for the 1k likes eventhough that no number compared to pine subs and Likes and views. I married her at the time in a real bad situation it was raining ... really pooring shit down on us from her ex for nearly 6 years. The Kids have been traumatised and that far far more that what ever you guy's say I did. I mean there father pushed it so far that they had to go into Childcustody and that was not because of me! I was not parrent yet ... I was simply ..voila... there you go now handle it! I had no fucking clue about parenting at the time and tryed to help and that made things even worse. But when ever I had to take the fall for her due to her Ex italien boyfriend (and boy! they can be far more exhausting than any White trash Daddy on this planet AMEN.) The Kids are not easy aswell and every week for over years.. seriously years I had to start over bulding up the relationship to them. Again and again and again...rinse and repeat and I did. Usually you grow into parenting and you're usually not just getting haveing 4 Kids and everything instantly but I love her and said I do my best and try hard. That's all I was able to do . I really meant it in a good way and wanted to help her since 4 Kids for singel mother is very though to handle.     Now my wife wished for Persephone another child it was the deepest wish from her heart...so I gave in to do the artificial fertilization procedure several times aswell. No husband who loves his wife woud say no to her biggest wish from her heart. Right?! So now I was really excited and also shit scared and paniced a couple of times..true. But I was at one point not able to cope with the whole situation anymore. Now... when I moved in with her I stopped coke at the time coz of her kids..thats true..but it's stilla major brainfuck sometimes if this little voice inside of you talks to you. So I did not even know anybody to get it from in the new town  I moved in with her . I swear its the truth since I really wanted to help her and really loved her and if I have to climb down the biggest Swiss Mountain in Town for her.. I would do it and litterally did it... and I would do it again. Anytime. So now the Mountain I am facing at the moment is bigger than anything else I had to handle before and I will take time... I am incapeable to change over night eventhough I wished I could. My depressions and my my constant fear to loose her just is totally messed up and emotionally its a hard fight with myself. Love is worse than drugs sometimes I makes you do things you probably would never do otherwise. And due to my emotional disorder (hey everbody got his handycap at one point so dont give me shit for that please. I was born with this disorder I did not choose to have it. Now I am not really sure if I should thank the Internet for this wake up call or give in into my depressions again. I am not sure yet I will have to sleep over it. So now since she removed the Implants and you have Posted the Photos... Now I would like to know one last thing?! If she already had a new Boyfriend and he moved in with her since a couple of month and lives with her.. than why the hell did she do the augmentation and She new exactly what she was doing. She could have said no. She could have at any given time tell the nurses or Dr Plovier that she would only like to minimal increase of even dercease since she was complaining about pain in her chest. Now the pain in her chest did not come from the implants themselfs... DR Plovier told me we where lucky to come and see him since if it would have gotten worse she would have lost her breast and this is due to cheap surgery done in Serbia. And hell believe me ... I was totally not ok with serbia since she wanted to do the T cut and that would def. made her unhappy in long term: I mean its about beeing well and feeling better and butcher her Breast in a Warzone Sugery room form the beginning 80's. SHe wanted and insisted to do it since it was affordable and her friend Dijana was with that surgeon aswell. She really insited to do it with me or without me. That's the response I got from her at the time. I really want to set things straight here .. I have never forced anything... it was her desicion and she wanted to do it and even got this hughe amount of money for it. Me and my hardcore Alcoholic Prof. friend both told her... to do the USA trip instead she always wished for and we take the kids along and stay a couple of weeks. It would fullfill her 2nd biggest dream after Persephone. So as I mentioned before... i would never say no to her dreams and always support them. Since you shoud live your dreams right?! Both the Prof and her argued that ist not possible with covid to travel through the US and my wife wanted to go to Belgium. I repeat never ever forced anything or her to do anything she is not ok with. I am a piece of shit yes and do not deserve her yes but eventhough I got Limits. Very hard for you guys to undderstand that now and to believe but it's the truth. So now... since the Situation is clear and she already lives with her new boyfriend since month and left me piece of scumbag Whitetrash and with your Super Internet pintree fiasco Shitstorm or let's call it Whitetrashstorm and..though yes I appreciate your help and the fucking wake up call bell you guys just simply smashed down on my head.. which I agree I totally deserve... But since this country is smaller than and has less Citizens than ANY of your Pinetree accounts you so surepass the 8million views and I am Nationwide Nr 2 BIGGEST LOOSER WHITETRASH Example exisiting now besides the Ideot who did the Swiss Porn Snychornisation... I will not find a Job that easy anymore. So since chris clun did brillant work... a bit exagurated at times but it's still funny and yes ..I really translated all the 1600 videos.. I really did. So now the whole World tells me to move my ass..I can not afford going back to IT school eventhough I would really want to graduate and I know that I am capable to do it .. I came untill the Finalexam but did not have the required apprenticeship in an IT comapany and therefore got got accepted with turned out me bing drunk and fucking shit up even worse  and even if my Mother said I have Math problems ..(which I acctually do not but simply didn't give a shit in Highschool about Calculus Class) am missing the cash and I will not be able to get a Job in that field that easyl but I will take my chances and try best since I have to come up with child support now and will face a Divorce... So now hear me cry... LOUD! I lost my CHILD (this hurts me very badly and giving birth to a 5 child to grow up with out Father was my greates fear ..Since I really did not have an trational Dad aswell..teaching you how to drill or see you play at a golf tournament. Or give me the needed drill..and holy shit yes.. he maybe should have kicked my lazzy ass HARDER !!! But unfortuneatly I had no opputunity and not the Luck and yes fucked up childhood. My father was working to provide my Mother the most Luxury lifestyle ever ! My Mother lived a Life back in the day shoud would have been most famous Instagram HIgh socity lady exisiting and it was easyier so send me to bording school with emotinal disorder in an Bording School and the only currency  in that Private School at that time was cocain and bitches.(Danke Ari das Du mich mit diesem scheiss Zeug angesteckt hast) The ritch Russian guy's where the only Opportunity to tripple my pocket money at the time wich was moderate but not exaggurated. I mean 100 bucks Week in Switzerland is like nothing. I could barely pay my Cigarrets with this money but no chance for out of plan Socialactivity like spending time with School friends in a Pub if I could not afford my Pepsi. Furhtermoe I would like to mention that I never drunk Alcohol not even wine or beer or whats so ever untill my 30th Brithday. My parents know that ! It all started with my Prof totally loosing it with his wife at the time and bascially lived with me for nearly 1 year, he simplay always was around. And he startet to drink exessively and since I concidered him my best friend at the time.. I played along to not let my only bro down. So now this drinking smoking and coking up to help him since he was a total wrack at the time.. useless unable to work things even got worse not able sitt straigh beeing so brainfucked by his Wife.. it was simply overkill for him. Now the drinking becaume somehow slightly and unknowingly a habit..it kind of sneaked in our lives without us even really realising and that's really bad because its not easy to to quit an habit once it's becamme a comman standard. I alwys feelt guilty for him to be honest and last Week when he came over for a visit he was drunk with in 15min I mean totally not even able to hold an conversation and man ..thats so sad. You did not see your friend for a while and are not able to talk with him its like instant drunk and usually he hurst himself in that state or passed out in the wild some where and that hurts me. Really it does. I seriously do not drink if he comes for a visit to be prepaired for the wort csae scenario. My Wife knows that.   I lost my family !!! I lost the Love of my Life !!! and I Lost my dignety and my life in Switzerland. I lost all my friends!!! I am Isolated due to beeing a piece of shit !!! Eventhough... I still resisted to take any drugs today since I kinda feelt shit is coming GREAT AGAIN. And my Fear of loosing her and my familiy made me really jealouse and jealousy... drives me sheer mad...insane. It's the most difficult Emotion for me to handle and the more I tried so set things in the right way again and fought for her Love the more it seperated us. And I am not able to handle this like apperently the wohle fucking World can and is soo easy .. but for me ..it is not. It's the hardest thing ever since that's what triggers my Voice telling me do return to old bad habits. It is a vicious cicle and is the most powerfull Deamon inside of me to fight with. NOW .. THE WHOLE FUCKING WEB tells me to move my bloody whitetrash ass and...just do it... But with the Divorce and the emotional stress coming with it.. again is the perfect condition again to drop back into old habits. It's very hard to break this Cicle and will be extremly challenging and will have serious side effects but who cares I am totally fucked up a bit more or less will not matter in my condition at the moment...right?! Emotionally I seriously doubt that I can change over or the next couple of weeks. I will though offically promise to do my best and try as hard as I can to work on me and my whitetrashflixmyvista little white Kartoffel boy ass and already made a little progress it's not much but hey..you got to take the first Step and everything starts with the first Step. Now please ...tell me why did my wife do the Surgery if she did not wanted to do it and already lives with a new Boyfriend together since month wihtou me knowing, We could have spared us the money and all the emotinal bullshit and this Shitstorm. all the lies and all furious outbreaks beeing scared to loose her... since hope dies last right? Maybe the situation would not be that fucked up as it is now. And my child growing up with a different dad.. I wish her and my child and her familie all the best and really hope that she finally get a good man who is capable of what i am sheer uncapable. My Exwife deserves it. The only thing I ASK TO YOU ALL... are 2 things... 1) Please tell my daughter that her Father really loves her and it's not her fault. And that I am very very sorry form the deepest bottom of my heart. I will never be able to make this up to her so please give my wife an helping hand and my Child. and 2) Guy's  I know I have to change myself and work hard on me and I know nobody can do this for me...but eventhough the WHOLE WEB hates me knwo and I am branded as Whitetrashdaddy world wide NR 1 (which is accutally quite a title compared to couple of rednecks and Hillbillys out there) I would appreciate a little help here. Yes flame me destroy my Life even more than I did untill now... But I really want to change but I could use a helping hand here...and hey no matter my mistaked and how hard they are... even me the biggest European Whitetrash Kartoffel piece of shit dirtbag...deserves a 2nd chance to set things straight and to be able to pay my child support. She at least ... deserves it. Now I am very sorry and I am very touched and hey thank you for the wakeup call..extrem people need extrem measures right. I hope that at least partially all of you in the WEB and my Exwife can forgive me.. I never had bad intensions towards her or any of you. For those you can not forgive me...fuck you !!! 2160xtimes !!! Do your meams... and do what you got to do and flood the net with my pathetic letter here. Do what you got to do...I deserve it and will take it like a man. But please be moderate and keep my disorder in your thoughts...please do not push it that far that I will do something incredible stupid. My child deserves a Father eventhough if I am shit and incapeble at the moment. I keep faith in that one day I will be able to be a good Father for her. Now thank you all for your time reading this. And hey I've ever somebody is willing to writ a book about how Hardcore Swiss Pirvate Bording Schools have been thoughtout the 90's..let me know I got stroy's to tell better than any Hollywood movie. The crazziest shit always happens in real life any maybe it's good warning for Parents to rethink and not do the same mistakes my Parents did. Thank you.

[chaotickidcat]

True… but what if your such white fucking trash garbage and do not deserve her? And that you know that your such a piece of shit and no one deserves you or the BS. So how can somebody love a piece of shit not worth anything but shit 24/7. Would love to change and that for a while now. I stopped coke and porn and would love to fully stop drinking and smoking but I simply can't I need help and willing to accept help since i really would love to change and make her happy she deserves to be happy every minute of the day. And even if the whole fucking Internet hates me I acctually do not give a shit about your diss Orgy here. I Love her...and I really do ! Ok true Boobs are negotiable and if you realy love your wife you woulden't want her to run around with 2160cc.. but I admid I love big tits the bigger the better. I do not understand the problem here and that the WWW is trying to make me feel guilty. I see it this way I respect everybody's sexual Orientation if Gay Trans what so ever! You can have your little 19 years old boyfirend with 65 who cares...! (not ok with pedos though) you can have objectophilia and love the Busstation or your favorite tree or your VIBE. I think if I can bring up the respect and the tolerance so can you and I do not think it's asked to much if you expect something from me to at least give the same in return. I admid I love her breast... there are countless Men out there who dream of having such a wife. I NEVER FORCED her to do this NEVER ! I said I cold live with it and also without since we got a TON of PORNStars out there in the WEB. No my wife said she is not happy that I watch porn sometimes and I admid the truth the whole coke was messing this up big time aswell..true. I asked her since several weeks if she really wants to spend that cash on the tits. I said lets do your USA trip instead and if you feel like doing your boobs we can see Dr Revis and than still have more than 1/2 of the cash we spend on Dr Plovier. My wife was telling me she had pain in hr right breast so an OP was acctually inevitable. I asked her if she would like to reduce her breast instead..she said no. She even insisted and said I love em and I am used to them it would feel like she would miss something. So we decided together so see Dr Plovier since he is europes leading expert in this field of expertise. She decided to go and even came up with nearly 18.000 euros we spend on that trip and I have my doubts where the money came from. Now I acctually even refused going and said we should not do that its too much money. I love you with or with out tits and I really do. Some dreams shoud simply stay dreams. I even refused to go with her to Belgium and said let's not do it and if you still want to go on your own than take your friend mdm Garcia with you fo rtranslating. I even offerd her to take care of all her expenses if she would go. This totally broke out into a serious discussion. I said I prefer you to stay the way you are now than having all the men in this World trying to take you from me. I do not wanted to loose her. Though I admid I said... since your always complaining about housework and me gaming she would have the perfect Arguments do anything she asked me for and I mean who the fuck would want to play  Sony Playstation or WOW if she says .. hunney please could you ..Hell I would and I would run. Yes. So now after the Surgery. I asked her everyday like at least several hundred times if she is ok if she can handle it because if not we are still in Belgium and he can do them smaller. I seriously did everyday. I said we can Call the Surgens Office and simply decrese the volume since that is perfectly able to do with expanders thats what they are made for. If too big you can simply decrese volume within in minutes with no further surgery. She denied the whole week. and she really did not want to. I admid I feelt a bit guilty but I was also totally hyped by her breasts and let my self a bit go on Twitter but I asked her if she is ok with it she said yes. And well She got me there with you guys for the 1k likes eventhough that no number compared to pine subs and Likes and views. I married her at the time in a real bad situation it was raining ... really pooring shit down on us from her ex for nearly 6 years. The Kids have been traumatised and that far far more that what ever you guy's say I did. I mean there father pushed it so far that they had to go into Childcustody and that was not because of me! I was not parrent yet ... I was simply ..voila... there you go now handle it! I had no fucking clue about parenting at the time and tryed to help and that made things even worse. But when ever I had to take the fall for her due to her Ex italien boyfriend (and boy! they can be far more exhausting than any White trash Daddy on this planet AMEN.) The Kids are not easy aswell and every week for over years.. seriously years I had to start over bulding up the relationship to them. Again and again and again...rinse and repeat and I did. Usually you grow into parenting and you're usually not just getting haveing 4 Kids and everything instantly but I love her and said I do my best and try hard. That's all I was able to do . I really meant it in a good way and wanted to help her since 4 Kids for singel mother is very though to handle.     Now my wife wished for Persephone another child it was the deepest wish from her heart...so I gave in to do the artificial fertilization procedure several times aswell. No husband who loves his wife woud say no to her biggest wish from her heart. Right?! So now I was really excited and also shit scared and paniced a couple of times..true. But I was at one point not able to cope with the whole situation anymore. Now... when I moved in with her I stopped coke at the time coz of her kids..thats true..but it's stilla major brainfuck sometimes if this little voice inside of you talks to you. So I did not even know anybody to get it from in the new town  I moved in with her . I swear its the truth since I really wanted to help her and really loved her and if I have to climb down the biggest Swiss Mountain in Town for her.. I would do it and litterally did it... and I would do it again. Anytime. So now the Mountain I am facing at the moment is bigger than anything else I had to handle before and I will take time... I am incapeable to change over night eventhough I wished I could. My depressions and my my constant fear to loose her just is totally messed up and emotionally its a hard fight with myself. Love is worse than drugs sometimes I makes you do things you probably would never do otherwise. And due to my emotional disorder ( hey everbody got his handycap at one point so dont give me shit for that please. I was born with this disorder I did not choose to have it. Now I am not really sure if I should thank the Internet for this wake up call or give in into my depressions again. I am not sure yet I will have to sleep over it. So now since she removed the Implants and you have Posted the Photos... Now I would like to know one last thing?! If she already had a new Boyfriend and he moved in with her since a couple of month and lives with her.. than why the hell did she do the augmentation and She new exactly what she was doing. She could have said no. She could have at any given time tell the nurses or Dr Plovier that she would only like to minimal increase of even dercease since she was complaining about pain in her chest. Now the pain in her chest did not come from the implants themselfs... DR Plovier told me we where lucky to come and see him since if it would have gotten worse she would have lost her breast and this is due to cheap surgery done in Serbia. And hell believe me ... I was totally not ok with serbia since she wanted to do the T cut and that would def. made her unhappy in long term: I mean its about beeing well and feeling better and butcher her Breast in a Warzone Sugery room form the beginning 80's. SHe wanted and insisted to do it since it was affordable and her friend Dijana was with that surgeon aswell. She really insited to do it with me or without me. That's the response I got from her at the time. I really want to set things straight here .. I have never forced anything... it was her desicion and she wanted to do it and even got this hughe amount of money for it. Me and my hardcore Alcoholic Prof. friend both told her... to do the USA trip instead she always wished for and we take the kids along and stay a couple of weeks. It would fullfill her 2nd biggest dream after Persephone. So as I mentioned before... i would never say no to her dreams and always support them. Since you shoud live your dreams right?! Both the Prof and her argued that ist not possible with covid to travel through the US and my wife wanted to go to Belgium. I repeat never ever forced anything or her to do anything she is not ok with. I am a piece of shit yes and do not deserve her yes but eventhough I got Limits. Very hard for you guys to undderstand that now and to believe but it's the truth. So now... since the Situation is clear and she already lives with her new boyfriend since month and left me piece of scumbag Whitetrash and with your Super Internet pintree fiasco Shitstorm or let's call it Whitetrashstorm and..though yes I appreciate your help and the fucking wake up call bell you guys just simply smashed down on my head.. which I agree I totally deserve... But since this country is smaller than and has less Citizens than ANY of your Pinetree accounts you so surepass the 8million views and I am Nationwide Nr 2 BIGGEST LOOSER WHITETRASH Example exisiting now besides the Ideot who did the Swiss Porn Snychornisation... I will not find a Job that easy anymore. So since chris clun did brillant work... a bit exagurated at times but it's still funny and yes ..I really translated all the 1600 videos.. I really did. So now the whole World tells me to move my ass..I can not afford going back to IT school eventhough I would really want to graduate and I know that I am capable to do it .. I came untill the Finalexam but did not have the required apprenticeship in an IT comapany and therefore got got accepted with turned out me bing drunk and fucking shit up even worse  and even if my Mother said I have Math problems ..(which I acctually do not but simply didn't give a shit in Highschool about Calculus Class) am missing the cash and I will not be able to get a Job in that field that easyl but I will take my chances and try best since I have to come up with child support now and will face a Divorce... So now hear me cry... LOUD! I lost my CHILD (this hurts me very badly and giving birth to a 5 child to grow up with out Father was my greates fear ..Since I really did not have an trational Dad aswell..teaching you how to drill or see you play at a golf tournament. Or give me the needed drill..and holy shit yes.. he maybe should have kicked my lazzy ass HARDER !!! But unfortuneatly I had no opputunity and not the Luck and yes fucked up childhood. My father was working to provide my Mother the most Luxury lifestyle ever ! My Mother lived a Life back in the day shoud would have been most famous Instagram HIgh socity lady exisiting and it was easyier so send me to bording school with emotinal disorder in an Bording School and the only currency  in that Private School at that time was cocain and bitches.(Danke Ari das Du mich mit diesem scheiss Zeug angesteckt hast) The ritch Russian guy's where the only Opportunity to tripple my pocket money at the time wich was moderate but not exaggurated. I mean 100 bucks Week in Switzerland is like nothing. I could barely pay my Cigarrets with this money but no chance for out of plan Socialactivity like spending time with School friends in a Pub if I could not afford my Pepsi. Furhtermoe I would like to mention that I never drunk Alcohol not even wine or beer or whats so ever untill my 30th Brithday. My parents know that ! It all started with my Prof totally loosing it with his wife at the time and bascially lived with me for nearly 1 year, he simplay always was around. And he startet to drink exessively and since I concidered him my best friend at the time.. I played along to not let my only bro down. So now this drinking smoking and coking up to help him since he was a total wrack at the time.. useless unable to work things even got worse not able sitt straigh beeing so brainfucked by his Wife.. it was simply overkill for him. Now the drinking becaume somehow slightly and unknowingly a habit..it kind of sneaked in our lives without us even really realising and that's really bad because its not easy to to quit an habit once it's becamme a comman standard. I alwys feelt guilty for him to be honest and last Week when he came over for a visit he was drunk with in 15min I mean totally not even able to hold an conversation and man ..thats so sad. You did not see your friend for a while and are not able to talk with him its like instant drunk and usually he hurst himself in that state or passed out in the wild some where and that hurts me. Really it does. I seriously do not drink if he comes for a visit to be prepaired for the wort csae scenario. My Wife knows that.   I lost my family !!! I lost the Love of my Life !!! and I Lost my dignety and my life in Switzerland. I lost all my friends!!! I am Isolated due to beeing a piece of shit !!! Eventhough... I still resisted to take any drugs today since I kinda feelt shit is coming GREAT AGAIN. And my Fear of loosing her and my familiy made me really jealouse and jealousy... drives me sheer mad...insane. It's the most difficult Emotion for me to handle and the more I tried so set things in the right way again and fought for her Love the more it seperated us. And I am not able to handle this like apperently the wohle fucking World can and is soo easy .. but for me ..it is not. It's the hardest thing ever since that's what triggers my Voice telling me do return to old bad habits. It is a vicious cicle and is the most powerfull Deamon inside of me to fight with. NOW .. THE WHOLE FUCKING WEB tells me to move my bloody whitetrash ass and...just do it... But with the Divorce and the emotional stress coming with it.. again is the perfect condition again to drop back into old habits. It's very hard to break this Cicle and will be extremly challenging and will have serious side effects but who cares I am totally fucked up a bit more or less will not matter in my condition at the moment...right?! Emotionally I seriously doubt that I can change over or the next couple of weeks. I will though offically promise to do my best and try as hard as I can to work on me and my whitetrashflixmyvista little white Kartoffel boy ass and already made a little progress it's not much but hey..you got to take the first Step and everything starts with the first Step. Now please ...tell me why did my wife do the Surgery if she did not wanted to do it and already lives with a new Boyfriend together since month wihtou me knowing, We could have spared us the money and all the emotinal bullshit and this Shitstorm. all the lies and all furious outbreaks beeing scared to loose her... since hope dies last right? Maybe the situation would not be that fucked up as it is now. And my child growing up with a different dad.. I wish her and my child and her familie all the best and really hope that she finally get a good man who is capable of what i am sheer uncapable. My Exwife deserves it. The only thing I ASK TO YOU ALL... are 2 things... 1) Please tell my daughter that her Father really loves her and it's not her fault. And that I am very very sorry form the deepest bottom of my heart. I will never be able to make this up to her so please give my wife an helping hand and my Child. and 2) Guy's  I know I have to change myself and work hard on me and I know nobody can do this for me...but eventhough the WHOLE WEB hates me knwo and I am branded as Whitetrashdaddy world wide NR 1 (which is accutally quite a title compared to couple of rednecks and Hillbillys out there) I would appreciate a little help here. Yes flame me destroy my Life even more than I did untill now... But I really want to change but I could use a helping hand here...and hey no matter my mistaked and how hard they are... even me the biggest European Whitetrash Kartoffel piece of shit dirtbag...deserves a 2nd chance to set things straight and to be able to pay my child support. She at least ... deserves it. Now I am very sorry and I am very touched and hey thank you for the wakeup call..extrem people need extrem measures right. I hope that at least partially all of you in the WEB and my Exwife can forgive me.. I never had bad intensions towards her or any of you. For those you can not forgive me...fuck you !!! 2160xtimes !!! Do your meams... and do what you got to do and flood the net with my pathetic letter here. Do what you got to do...I deserve it and will take it like a man. But please be moderate and keep my disorder in your thoughts...please do not push it that far that I will do something incredible stupid. My child deserves a Father eventhough if I am shit and incapeble at the moment. I keep faith in that one day I will be able to be a good Father for her. Now thank you all for your time reading this. And hey I've ever somebody is willing to writ a book about how Hardcore Swiss Pirvate Bording Schools have been thoughtout the 90's..let me know I got stroy's to tell better than any Hollywood movie. The crazziest shit always happens in real life any maybe it's good warning for Parents to rethink and not do the same mistakes my Parents did. Thank you.