#which means while ugly. it’s retuning

[lilgynt]

i know it’s a process but my hair is so lucky my mom would have a heart attack if i just shaved it all off. you are so fucking lucky.

[moonlights-inkwell]

Oh, Can’t You Hear The Scratching?

Jaskier x Reader

Word Count: 4747

Summary: A serious injury leads to you being forced to leave your travelling days behind you and try to reintergrate yourself into a life you left behind. But it seems something from travelling has decided not to leave you

A/N: So. Um. This was meant to be some post Mountain smut, but turned into some semi-angst and is probably gonna turn into a series (and kinda (?) a companion piece to my Oxenfurt Series) where Jaskier and the Reader just sorta embrace some domestic bliss. So yeah. Title taken from That Unwanted Animal.

The first chill of Autumn is enough to wake you from a dead slumber. The cold nips at the tip of your nose, leaving it almost painful and chaffed, and you curse internally at the windows of your small home, which lately has done little to keep out either rain or cold. Pushing yourself up from the warmth of your fur-lined bed, you sit up and wince when the chill hits your chest, causing you to heave out a sigh as if you had been punched, blinking bleary-eyed before turning to gaze out of your window. It’s still dark, but no longer pitch. The sky is the colour of the violets that grow along the path that leads to your cottage but paling slowly, no sight of sun or moon, cloud or stars. Soon the horizon will be warmed by the orange glow of the sun, but right now you find yourself in this blissful timelessness, caught between dusk and dawn, sleep and awake. Moments like this feel rare, special, and you dedicate them to memory, to remind yourself of the mundane beauty of the world when you feel lonely and upset. These moments are wonderful, and your lips turn up in a tired smile. 

Sleep is trying desperately to overtake you once more, begging you sweetly to rest as long as humanly possible- after hard nights working in the tavern, you deserve rest and respite, but you fight against it. Swinging your legs out of bed and standing up, you groan in annoyance.  

“Melitele’s tits.” You curse, slurring with sleep. Padding barefoot to the window, you lean against the wall and rub your eyes, toying with the thin fabric that hangs to the side of the windows. It’s much too early in the day, and much too early for you to be feeling this way. This feeling only normally comes with Winter but reminds you all too much of the day you met Jaskier. It was as if fate had insisted you to be ready for him. Your heart sinks at the thought of him.  

You left the Witcher and your Bard behind in the spring. It wasn’t an easy choice, or even really a choice that you made, but it was the only one that was given to you. It came as a result of fighting a Wyvern. You hate Wyverns, always have and always will, but the fight against this one had cemented that in your mind, seeing as it sunk its claws into the left side of your face, and nearly blinded you. You didn’t even really know what damage it had caused until you sunk, faint, to your knees and Jaskier screeched in horror at the sight of you. I'm not that ugly, am I? You thought to yourself and chuckled slightly before falling unconscious.  

You woke in a healer’s tent, barely able to comprehend spoken language as the medic told Geralt you were lucky to be alive, never mind retaining the vision in both eyes.  Something in the back of your mind told you that you should be in pain, excruciating pain, but you can’t feel a thing. Your face would likely keep the marks of the beast forever though, he told the Witcher, voice as emotionless as possible. The hand holding your own tightens its grip. Jaskier. You smiled and cracked open the uninjured eye, but the smile faded at the sight of his red, tearstained face. He looked like he had been sobbing, and he probably had. He fretted about you when you got splinters, so the idea that you could have died was too much for him. He glanced down at you, and upon seeing your open eyes cupped your face gently and pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead. It’s like no kiss he’d given before, it’s full of something you haven’t felt from him, sadness. Regret. It feels like goodbye. When he pulls back his lips and chin are stained with your blood.  

“I’ll find you in winter.” He muttered and your eyes narrowed in confusion. Tears overtook him once more, and he dragged you into his lap to sob onto your bloodied blouse- he'd never been squeamish about blood before, but in that moment, it was as if he was trying to get as much of your blood on him as possible, to mar and mark himself with proof that he was yours. Your fingers threaded through his hair, but whatever the Healer had given you meant that you couldn’t feel the softness of the chestnut locks, smell the musk and lavender scent that you know permeates from him over the coppery blood. It's hollow. You can’t feel him at all and would have taken the agonising pain of the wound if it meant that you could feel the touch of his skin on yours.

“Till winter.”

It was goodbye. At least for the time being.

Geralt took you home on Roach the next day, and insisted you remain. Retune yourself back to the life in your village, rather than a life that will kill you at any and every turn. He said it so firmly you couldn’t force out an argument, and so you’ve remained since that day; remaining in the old home you resided in just outside of the village, returning to your job in the tavern, and trying in vain to pretend that you aren’t in pain, not spending your days missing your bard, counting down until the seasons change and Geralt will return to Kaer Morhen and you can feel a dandelion on your skin once more.  

Absent-mindedly, you drag the tips of your fingers over the fading scar over your eye, it’s no longer garishly red and surrounded by mottled green, yellow and blueing bruised skin, instead almost white, with a strange shining quality about it. You don’t hate it, but you hate what it represents. Weakness. You found scars wonderful as a child, proof of how adventures had marked you, even on the road with Geralt it had been something of note, proof of how no monster had felled you yet. This one has felled you, left you more than just marked. It’s a conversation starter with patrons at the pub though, it sees you regaling people with your tales of traveling with a Witcher, and sees the pockets of your pinny grow heavy with coin as the nights draw to days, but the song starts up and you feel your throat begin to swell closed, lips suddenly wordless and eyes swelling with tears. Toss a Coin to Your Witcher is capable of reducing you to tears, your Dandelion would be proud were it under different circumstances. You miss him like a lost limb. After so long around him, always touching, always grinning, always talking, the absence makes you uncomfortable, especially at night.

Jaskier had always been there at night, oh what the luxury of your travelling partner being your lover had been during nights on the road. The sound of him singing in the darkness, illuminated only by the firelight and framed by the canopy of the trees, as if on a stage and performing for an audience of only you, how it felt when he dragged you, often kicking and squealing in laughter, towards your shared bedroll. While you are glad of a permanent bed, you miss sleeping beside him. It feels childish to admit that you find it hard to sleep without him, even if you are only admitting to yourself, but it is difficult without him; you miss the feeling of his arms around your waist, head between your shoulders and breath fanning against your skin, lulling you to sleep. Not only that, but you miss the sweetness that comes before sleep, tiredly resting on his chest and listening to him talk- usually utter nonsense you care little for, but enamoured by his passion and way of speaking- or singing, ringed fingers burying themselves in your hair while your fingers thread through the Shag Rug of chest hair.  

The shadow that passes by the window doesn’t catch your eye, distracted too much by memory, and you turn tiredly back toward bed but stop. Bed will do nothing but remind you of the chill behind you, lack of arms about your waist and head resting in the hollow between your shoulder blades. That won’t do. Instead, you find yourself padding to the small room that keeps the hearth, lip trapped between gnawing teeth as you begin a search for a means to light the fire and warm yourself a serving of last night’s stew but stop. Scratching. Scratching. Something is scratching at the front door. That’s not normal. All your life there has never been scratching at the door, even in spite of its close proximity to the woods no creature normally drags their claws along the wood, save for once, when a wolf had found itself lost and confused, but even that had been a pup. Just Imagining things, you try in vain to convince yourself, hand falling onto the matches and drawing a sigh of relief from you. It takes a second or so for your hands to stop shaking, but when the scratching dies you manage to strike a match and start a fire beneath the hanging pot of stew. Warmth, at long last, and light too.  

You sit on the floor to warm yourself in front of the hearth, humming softly along with the phantom of a song you hear in your dreams. It’s not one you know too well, you don’t even know if the song has lyrics, but it's one of Jaskier's and that means it’s your favourite. Tears that threaten to fall blur your vision and in the glowing flames you almost swear you can see him, sat across from you.  

It’s familiar, hauntingly so. You can all but feel the hard stone beneath your feet turn to prickly, drying grass, your sleep shirt turning to almost threadbare chemise and trousers. You can even feel the bruising ribs from an especially rough incident with a werewolf that saw the Witcher walking to a nearby village for food to help you feel better. The flames in front of you ripple and roar, causing the wood to pop and crackle, and with each noise you jump slightly and flinch in pain. Jaskier sits across from you, staring at you intensely and strumming at his lute. He’s beautiful in the light of the fire, lashes dark and his eyes focused, taking in every flinch and jostle.

“Try not to move so, Little Miss. You'll only hurt yourself. Well. Hurt yourself more.” He's trying to sound unaffected, but the intensity of his gaze betrays him. You worried him; a skill you’ve been honing in your time with Geralt and him, and you know how he worries. He's more of a mother-hen than a fighter in the first place, flapping about and acting as if you’re some delicate flower in polite society rather than someone who enjoys being combative, but combined with your human fragility? He frets. Overwhelmingly so. His eyes, the colour of the sea after a storm, moves from your eyes to where he knows your injury to be and then back to your eyes once more. You can’t quite meet his eyes, distracting yourself by looking over the intricate ivory embroidery that decorates his doublet.

You hate worrying him. He’s been so kind to you, always so giving: making sure you have enough stew to eat, warm enough when autumn comes about, threatening any man who looks at you with anything less than respect. He knows how you revel in fighting, but each and every injury you get sees the bard fretting even more so than normal. Though you can't meet his gaze you can feel his eyes on you, and hear the soft melody he's plucking, which makes you shift on the spot, letting out a pained moan as you do. Focused on the searing pain in your ribs, you don’t quite hear the bard gasp out your name and rush to your side, only knowing he's even there when you feel a warm palm rest on your thigh and turn to see him on his knees in front of you.  

“Fucking hell, Little Miss, are you alright? Do you need something? Shit... I- I can try and fetch Geralt, he won’t be too far-" The brunet rambles, eyes wide and grip on your thigh tightening, which serves to make your breath hitch- but not from the pain. Jaskier is always touching you, you’re quite certain he was not given sufficient human contact as a child, but never has he touched somewhere as... intimate as your thigh. The heat of his hand seeps through your trousers, and goes straight to your core and face- cheeks bright pink. He's still rambling, you realise, and reach out gently to cup his cheek, silencing him immediately. Stubble you can’t see on his boyish face prickles your palm, and you meet his eyes once more, noticing how wide the pitch of his eyes had grown.  

“I’m fine, Dandelion. Truly. Just moved too fast... bruises, and such.” You laugh weakly, tilting your head. “It will pass. Just need to distract myself.”  

He laughs with you, hand squeezing the meat of your thigh and so close you can feel his breath fanning against your skin.

“I can distract you if you like?” He offers, voice lower than normal. You smile in return and nod, expecting a song or joke but what you get instead is his lips pressed against yours. Warm, wind chapped, perfect-

A log pops and you come from your memory, blinking and sniffing as the smell of the soup makes you smile. It’s not much, but it’s enough. Before you can reach up for a spoon to mix it, you hear it again. The scratching. It's back, and worrying. You miss Geralt, not for the first time that night, missing how his acute hearing would be able to tell you if it was an animal or human- specifically if it was a wolf as you suspected. Scratching, scratching and scratching. It worries you, but not enough for you to become fearful; instead making you smirk, eyes narrowing into dangerous slits and shifting towards the sword you've kept beside the door. Less than a second later you dart toward the door, and grip the cold hilt of the blade in one hand, body pressed against the wall beside the door. The scratching stops when you move which only makes you hold your breath, eyes slipping shut as you try to relax once more. Calm doesn’t come, and instead you heave out a sigh and call out,  

“...Hello? Kacsper? Is that you?” It wouldn’t be the first time your employer had come by in the night to ensure a young woman alone would be safe at night, which you thought to be immensely invasive but, in this moment, you cannot stop yourself from hoping it was him.  

“...Dear Heart?” A voice you didn’t expect at all replies, weak and choked. Jaskier. Only Jaskier has ever called you anything like Dear Heart, the only person to ever even think to call you by pet names, but not in that voice. Pained, like he was injured. Something logical in the back of your mind tries to remind you of Dopplers or any number of creatures that can change their voices, but the sound of your lover’s voice is enough to see you throw caution to the wind. You drop the blade to rip the door open, completely unfazed by the ear-splitting clatter of steel on wood. The door is open before you realise how forcefully you pull and there, shivering in the autumnal cold, is your bard.  

It’s hard to tell in the minimal light of your cooking fire, but he looks a mess. Chestnut hair splayed across his forehead in wet clumps, from rain or sweat you have no idea, deep red doublet and trousers stained with something that could be either mud or blood, and eyes sunken and darkened from a lack of sleep and something else. A sort of... hunger, longing that you know, but not in this intensity- he would look at you like this before kissing you, or bedding you, like you were ephemeral and easily gone without his touch. His frame lurches, holding to the door frame for stability.  

“Jask?” You whisper, and it’s enough for him to surge forward and crash his mouth to yours. The look in his eyes mirrors how he kisses you, hungry and rough, cracked lips moving against your own in such a way that you almost fear the blood you can taste is your own, but it’s definitely not. You feel like you ought push him away, chide him for coming so late and frightening you, but instead your arms wind around his neck to pull him closer still, lips moving gently against his, trying to slow the kiss. It’s been so long, too long, without his lips on yours, months without his touch when you would seldom live an hour without his touch. He takes the hint and the kiss instead turns sweet though still desperate, his hands resting on your hips even after you pull back and stare up at him like he’s a phantom or dream. “Jaskier, what are you doing here?”  

“...I missed you.” He says simply, voice cracking and breaking your heart at just how sad he sounds. “I. I’m sorry. I don’t mean to intrude, Little Miss. I should-"  

“Shut the door, Buttercup.” You interrupt him, hands sliding from his throat to hold his cheek. “And sit down. You look dead on your feet. Where's Ger?”  

Jaskier flinches at the mention of the white-haired man but does turn to close your front door. As soon as it’s closed, keeping the cold somewhat at bay, his arms are around you once more and face buried into your hair, drawing a contented sigh from you while your own arms work their way around his back. It’s been far too long. He feels like he always has, soft but with a firm layer of muscle just beneath, not obvious by looking at him, but there none the less. Hugs have always felt restrictive, like being caged but his have always felt like safety. It’s the same now, just more tight, and you cannot tell if he knows how tightly he’s holding you. Honestly, you can’t bring yourself to care. He could leave a Jaskier shaped bruise on your flesh so long as he robs you of the Jaskier shaped hole in your heart. He doesn’t smell as usual though, lavender and musk replaced with sweat and sulphur, telling you just how long it must have been since last he bathed.  

Deft fingers wind into the wispy hair at your nape at the same time that lips press to the crown of your head, followed by a deep inhale, you aren’t the only one to have missed the simple things like this. So much is hidden away in touch and smell, especially when not too long ago the two of you spent near every moment joined at the hip.  

“You smell like posies.” He mumbles into your hair, and you smile weakly at the observation.  

“You smell like death, Darling.” You reply before you really consider how mean the words are, though you hope your voice is playful. “I'll draw you a bath-"  

“No, no, no. Don’t... don't move, Muse. Let me... Let me cherish this moment. Reunions are supposed to be a happy time.” He doesn’t sound happy; he sounds as if he's choking back tears. “Gods, how I’ve missed you, Dear Heart.”  

“I missed you too, Buttercup. Like a lost limb.” It should seem a melodramatic turn of phrase, but it truly isn’t. It was like losing half of yourself to be away from him. Having him wrapped around you now is the closest to normal you’ve felt since leaving his side. “...Why are you here though, Love? Oughtn't you be with Ger-"  

“Don’t say his name.” The usually sweet voice of your bard comes out venomous, and his grip only tightens, “I’m not travelling with the prick.”  

The Prick. That’s new. So many of Jaskier’s songs are about the Witcher, but now he's the prick. You can’t help but blink in confusion, head tilting to look at your man but he instead swoops his head down to kiss you gently. He's trying to distract you, of that you're certain, but you decide it best to indulge him, kissing him sweetly and pulling back before he can deepen it.  

“...Stew.”  

It’s his turn to look confused, head tilted to one side to stare at you while you pull away.  

“Stew?”  

“Do you want some?” Gesturing blindly to the pot behind you, you begrudgingly break free of his hold on you. “You look hungry. Stew, a bath and then bed. I think it would do you the world of good.”  

“When did you become a domestic goddess, Little Miss?” He asks incredulously, lips turning up in a smile. He’s taunting you, but you don’t care as long as he stays smiling. “My Little Miss would sooner skin a deer with her teeth than cook.”  

“You can thank my mother for that. Old habits die hard, even if they are ones to make me a perfect wife.”  

“You’re a perfect wife already.” He says with a degree of finality in his statement, sitting by the fire. He makes it sound like you are his wife, and the thought brings a blush to your cheeks. “Are you going to join me?”  

“I need to get bowls for the stew.”  

“I mean in the bath.” He shoots a wink in your direction that you suppose is meant to be flirty, but on this defeated looking Jaskier it comes across more pathetic than anything else. Had you been asked an hour before, you would have moved heaven and hell for a chance to be in your miniscule bath with the Bard, using bathing as a preamble to ride him until your brain and legs turn to jelly and there's more water out of the bath than in it, but this Jaskier needs a gentle hand, and a helping hand to remove the layer of grime and melancholy that is covering his entire being. “You... You don’t have to. I. I'm being presumptuous, aren’t I?”  

“How?” You ask weakly, descending to your knees at the bard's side. “It's hardly the first time you've asked to see me unclothed.”

“It’s been months. You probably have a new lover. I mean, look at you, how could you not?” He asks, gesturing to your body as if it was supposed to mean something to you. “You look like a gift from on high, and I... I left you here. To grow soft, and gentle and domestic.” His hand rests on your thigh but there’s nothing romantic in the touch, just longing. Like, despite his hand on your bard flesh, you're in fact a thousand miles away or he's lamenting to the spectre of a lost love. “Someone else has snapped you up, and I’ve lost you, and come here, and you’re too polite to say no.”  

“We both know I would never be made to do anything I don’t want.” You smile, and lean in to press a chaste kiss to his lips. He chuckles softly, and watches you as you ladle some stew into a bowl and hand it to him. “And I don’t. Have anyone else.”  

“You said a man's name when I was at the door.”  

“My employer. He’s... odd. Constantly sniffing about.” You reassure him, watching him spoon up some of the both and sip it before sighing, from the taste or reassured that you love him still. “If I didn’t want you, I’d have stabbed you.”  

“You. You waited.” It’s a statement, and you nod simply in agreement.  

“You said you'd come in winter.” His eyes focus on you once more, drinking you in like it is both the first and last time he shall see you.

“You look like you did the night we first met.” He says conversationally, and you smile, remembering how he had winked at you mid song. It feels a hundred years ago, though you know it couldn’t be more than six years ago. “I thought you were the most sublime creature on the planet. There’s not an ounce of feral in you, just... beauty and softness, with something wild behind the eyes.” He says soft like it’s a thing to be admired, not disparaged. His eyes, stormy blue and sad look about your childhood home with nostalgia for a time that you don’t know. “You look like a life worth living, Dear Heart.”  

“...A life worth living?”

“Yes. This. This you, all gentle and half asleep, looking at me like you love me. A little home and a fire, Darling Love telling me to eat and bathe and sleep. Domestic. A life worth living.”  

“I do love you Jaskier.” You interrupt, letting the words fall off your tongue like they’re the easiest thing in the world to say. They feel that way.  

“You shouldn’t. I left you here.” The words come out hollow, and you take his hand from your thigh to your lips and kiss it. You can all but see the knotted weaves and threads of his mind, and hope the kiss will soothe them, even a little. His hand tugs free for a moment to ghost his fingers along the scar on your face, making you shiver.

“I was hurt.”  

“I should have stayed. Should have stayed by your side.”  

“You’re here now, Julian. That’s enough.” It shouldn’t be, but it is. He's here, not exactly as you’d like him to be, but having him beside you is more than enough. The comforting presence of warmth beside you is more than enough to wipe away the months of absence.

He sighs your name like a prayer, “I love you.”  

“As you should.” You tease, and he places the bowl beside him to take your hands in his, prompting you to give up all pretence of propriety to instead climb onto his lap, intertwined fingers bridging the gap between your bodies. “You’re upset.”  

“At the sight of the love of my life looking like a perfect little wife in an empty home.” Obtuse Jaskier might just be your least favourite form of the Bard, him trying to mask feelings he wears so openly, like he thinks you a fool. You’re unwilling to pry, though, so bite your tongue. “I’m half convinced I died on that mountain, and you’re just what my mind has created as a dying thought.”  

“Shush.” You coo, lips chastely brushing against his. “You're as alive as I am, keep the melancholies out of it. If I look like some... darling bride then be quiet, seeing as that would make you a very foolish husband to spend your night bemoaning your fears and not kissing me.”  

He chuckles at that, a small triumph, but enough to fill your heart to bursting point.  

“I’d be a fool for leaving you here alone.” He starts but a sharp noise of annoyance cuts him off.  

“Stay forever to make up for it, then.” You retort, “Sleep next to me until I can’t remember a single morning without you.”  

He blinks at that, enrapturing you in how the black of his eyes swells until you cannot see any of the blue.  

“You want me to stay?”  

“For always.”  

He grins, almost wide enough to distract from the tears that well in his eyes and you lean in to kiss him once more, his hands settling on your hips to pull you closer still. You've missed this, the stupidity that fills your head when his lips are on yours, tongue gently trailing along the seam of your mouth, never invasive, just inquisitive.  

“You truly do need a bath though.” You grumble against his mouth, Jaskier pulls back in mock indignation.

“I know you don’t actually mean that and just want to undress me.”  

“Oh, shut up, Dandelion.”  

His hands turn from cradling to tickling, sending you into reams of laughter that he echoes. All, for just a moment, feels right in the world, now that he's with you again.  

[clownjail]

49 Questions with Mika Part 2

Part 1

Under the cut because it's very long!

Friends

21) Best Friend(s)?

I never really considered anybody a best friend, I don't even consider the kids I lived with in the orphanage acquaintances, let alone friends. Though recently I made a friend in school, her name is Yui Komori and she's lovely!

22) Who was their first friend?

Hmm I guess my first ever friend was a blue bird called River! She was the orphanage pet, and not to brag or anything but I was cleary her favorite out of all the kids, I didn't have any friends at the orphanage and my experience there was pretty bland but River made it the experience more enjoyable! She always was quiet little thing but if i'm around, I'll never get her to shut up, which really annoyed the orphanage kids heh. When I was bought by the Ayashii's, apart of me was upset because I'll never see River again but the following day, she was in my bedroom window, waiting for my retun! I was just a kid back then so I didn't question how she got there, she wasn't an extremely good flyer to begin with and even if she was, she was still a baby, and even now, I sometimes see a glimpse of her when i'm by myself but it's probably my imagination haha.

23) What is their friend group like?

I don't really have a friend group, sometimes I hang out with Yui but she's often being dragged around with the Sakamaki's brothers. Master Shin has made it very clear that if he catches me talking casually to someone of a lower breed, I'll be severely punished! So because of that I can't interact with Yui as much as I want to.

26) Have they ever hurt a friend or lost one?

I wouldn't say I hurt a friend, more like a friend has hurt me, though I guess we were never really friends to begin with…

27) Do they have a crush on any of their friends?

*blushes* I-I consider Master Shin one of my closest friends, even if he doesn't see it that way, b-but recently I want more than that…is that what you consider a c-crush? *blush intensifies*

28) Do they share classes with good friends?

Well Yui is a year above me, so we don't share the same classes together, the only time we see each other is in the hallways, lunch or sometimes cooking class. However I do share a class with Subaru-kun, though he probably doesn't see me as a friend, let alone acquaintance, we sit next to each other and he's often fun to tease!

29)  Whom do they go to the most when they need a shoulder to cry on?

The bathroom. I don't like crying in front of other people because I don't want them to worry over me, I don't want them to pity me, so whenever I feel like I need to cry, I do it in a private area.

30) What would this person do without their friends in their lives?

That's a good question…my oldest friend, River, has been with me since I was a child, I couldn't imagine what it would be like without her being there to keep me company but then again, River, doesn't live with me anymore and I'm doing fine without her but I do miss her a lot…

School

31)  What grade are they in? If they arent in school, how come?

Even though im 17 years old, I'm in my first year! I didn't get a proper education most kids my age should get, so because of that I got bumped down a grade, they were actually considering dropping me to second year of Middle School, if Master Carla didn't get involve, I don't where I'll be at…

32) Do/Did they like their teachers? Was there a good one? Bad one?

…… I'll be lying if I said that I enjoy all my teachers, there are just some teachers/subjects that I do not care for nor like. Since i'm usually pulled into Master Shin shenanigans, i'm on thin ice with some teachers.

33)  Do/Did they listen to their teachers or are/where they goofing off a lot?

I try my best to listen to the teachers but when you're sitting next to someone like Subaru-kun, it's gets kinda hard to listen to the lecture when your partner is angrily tearing up the test sheets hehe

34) Are/Where they a good student grade wise?

I-i mean, I like to think that i'm a good student, j-just not academically! While I enjoy most subjects, i'm awful in some of them, if it wasn't for Master Carla, strict but much needed teaching methods, I'll probably be a straight C student.

35) Do/Did they need extra help?

Yeah, I guess you could say that, usually Master Carla will tutor me, and while I do appreciate his help his teaching methods can be harsh at times, I remember the first time, I got a question wrong on a test after months of studying, I will never forget what happened next *shivers*!

37) Do/Did they have bullies in school?

There's the occasional catty group of girls, who sometimes spread snarky remarks and rumors about me and Master Shin, Master Shin would be very angry at me, if he knew I was getting worked up about false rumors, so I tried to not let their words get to me.

38) Have they ever gotten into a fight at school?

Well some of the girls could be a bit catty towards me, mostly it's because of how close I am with the Tsukinami brothers, especially Master Shin. It doesn't really bother me but sometimes the girls cross the line, and try to go physical on me, so when that happens, I usually revert to self defense. I know violence isn't always the answer but sometimes I can't help it, when fists are flying, my initial default thought process is to retort back as well! It's stuck in my brain at this point!

39) Have they ever done something stupid/embarrassing at school?

Many times! Master Shin is usually the cause of this or is somehow involve but there was this one time I was running late to class,

40) How far do they plan to go with school? If they dropped out, do they want to go back?

I'm planning to finish all three years of school! I never went to school when I was a child but now that I am attending classes, I could learn all new things that I never experience or seen before! I want to learn more and more about everything and anything, and my first step to accomplish that goal is by attending school, not like I'm complaining though!

Other

41)  Are they dating anyone? Do they want to date? Are the married? Divorced? 

*blushes* I-i mean I do have a slight c-crush on someone, b-but dating never crossed my mind!

42)   What is their favorite hobby? Do they keep it a secret?

Because i'm a servant of the Tsukinami's, I don't have much free time but whenever I have the time, I usually practice my knitting skills! Master Shin, always teases for being interested in a 'lame hobby' but I spotted three sweaters that I knitted, in his closets, that he previously called ugly, so its safe to assume he really does like my craft *giggles*

43)   If they could have one thing in life, what would it be?

For a long time, what I really wanted in life was freedom but now that I have that, I don't need anything else.

44)   Do they work? If so, what is it? If not, are they looking for one or even want one?

Well I don't know if it classify as a job but i'm a servant of the Tsukinami's household. I don't really consider myself as a maid or servant, because I don't really do anything servant-like, all I really do is just help out the Tsukinami brothers with minor tasks, such as grocery shopping. I think the familiars are more useful and servant-like than I am.

45)   Do they use social media?

Heh I'm not really tech-savvy as the kids these days are, so not really! (Oh my gosh Mika you're not even that old)

46)  Have they ever been in the hospital?

When I was in a slave of the Ayashii's I did have some severe bruises that did needs medical attention but I wasn't given any, so no I never been to a hospital and I don't think I ever want to, some of the stories I hear about hospitals don't sound really pleasing!

47)   Do they believe in the supernatural, that there is more than the eye can see?

Well I mean, I guess you could say, i'm already living with them!

48)   What do they do when they get angry, stressed, or upset?

Well whenever I feel overwhelmed, I-i usually go to Master Shin *blushes*, he doesn't comfort me or anything, just knowing that's he's there, makes me feel better *blushing intensifies*. Sometimes if he's in a really good mood, I'm allowed to hold him when he's in his wolf form but those times are really rare! H-however if Master Shin is in a bad mood or if he's the cause of my stress than I usually take a walk in the forest, being cooped up all day inside, really gets to me at times so whenever I have the opportunity to go outside, I'll take it, I've find it whenever i'm surrounded by nature, all my nerves go fade away. Sometimes I have a familiar accompany me, just so I can have somebody to keep me company and other times Master Shin would go with me as well.

49) Would they consider themselves as a good person, bad person, or morally grey?

I would like to believe that i'm a good person, but I know i'm not, I have done some terrible things to other people and I very deeply regret the things that I did so the best description that fits me is morally grey.

[massielandnetwork]

Thriving in an Economic Bubble during Anarchy

17. The Christian Succession – An Audit is not a Recount.

A Biblical “Day of Reckoning” for the USA got one step closer last Friday. Over the coming months two critical phrases by our brilliant founders to keep in your mind – “We the People” are the government and our leaders have power only with the “Consent of the governed”.

Close only counts in a game of horseshoes, with a hand grenade, and when using an atomic bomb. A perfect example of the failure of “close” was the media’s misleading headlines from the Arizona Forensic Audit (AFA) results on Friday, September 24, 2021.

The AFA is not a “Recount” so the results of the election were not changed…yet. When you recount the same ballots, both legal and illegal, you get the same result. Instead, the AFA is a forensic audit - an attempt to determine:

1. Were all the ballots legal?

2. Was the election conducted per the laws and regulations?

3. Did the machines function correctly per the laws and regulations.

4. The answer - Nope, Nope, Nope.

Please note this summary from Arizona State Senator Wendy Rogers which identifies enough illegal ballots to have changed the outcome of the 2020 Election in Arizona (or decertify it):

-3432 more ballots cast than people who voted. -9041 mail-in voters retuned more ballots than they were sent. -More ballots cast at precincts than people who showed up to vote, by 1551. -2382 ballots cast by people who voted after moving out of Maricopa County. -Nearly 300 dead people voted. -Over 17,000 duplicate votes. -23,344 mail-in ballots voted after they moved, and after the deadline.

Among the items not included in her summary are the following items:

1. Instead of the one type of paper authorized for ballots, there were 10.

2. Data was deleted from the machines the day before the machines were turned over the auditors.

3. One machine held data that appeared to concern the 2020 election in both South Carolina and the state of Washington.

4. It was reported that another group compared a list of the unusually high number of new Arizona voters registered in 2020 (over 600,000) with the records of the Social Security Administration (SSA) and found that 58% (approximately 350,000) did not exist according to the SSA records.

Four other states have now announced forensic audits. Apparently, the only Virginia legislator with enough testosterone to demand a forensic audit is Senator Amanda Chase of Chesterfield County. She makes the other Republican legislators look like eunuchs. Virginia does not need a Recount. Virginia DOES need a Forensic Audit. Only those who committed vote fraud should oppose a forensic audit. We put men on the Moon, we can have honest elections.

Both Mr. Durham and Mr. Sussmann are still among the living. I wish neither of them ill and pray my Lord and Savior surrounds Mr. Durham and his team with angels to keep them safe. But I would not make a loan to either man based on life expectancy because too many folks that enter the Clinton sphere and become a potential embarrassment have fatal accidents. Monica Lewinsky is among the few to survive. What is her secret to longevity?

Meanwhile, the Demented Marxist Show (aka DMS) continues to demonstrate how to intentionally destroy a prosperous country. Instead of recreating Venezuela, the DMs should move there. The DMS slogan– “Build Back Better” is worthy of Orson Wells since all they are building is more government, economic chaos, and less personal freedom.

As the DMs gaslight us with the media, the world continues to come apart at the seams. The list of crises that Biden and his DMs have created is amazing. I suggest focusing on the two largest – the coming Constitutional Crisis over decertification and the Chinese.

Last weekend, I was struck by the parallel paths of (1) Xi and the Chinese Communist party (CCP) with (2) Biden and the DMs. Both are aggressively pursuing centralized government economies. Both are ignoring the historical fact that centralized economies ultimately fail regardless of the available resources and talent. The only economic difference I can see between China under Xi and the USA under the Biden / DMs regime – the Chinese borrow to build physical infrastructure like roads, cities, airports, etc. while Biden/DMs borrow to fund social spending such as paying folks not to work.

Capitalism grows the economy so that government revenues increase enabling the government to provide benefits out of the increased tax revenue. Neither China nor the USA are on that path. The future for both is going to be painful – either high inflation with a stagnant economy (“Stagflation” last seen under Jimmy Carter) or default. That is why the false drama in DC is so fascinating – numerically the DMs have the votes to increase the debt and pass their “infrastructure” bills that will nail the lid on our economic coffin. Instead, they are blaming the Republicans for the delay.

Some key data points: (1) The new Saturday ritual is to join 60 – 100,000 fellow Americans in a football stadium and scream the “Biden Salute”. (2) One of the 600 Americans arrested for attending the January 6 rally has died in captivity. I think that atrocity just got much worse for the DMs. (3) Why do hospitals and first responders prefer to lose unvaccinated staff in the middle of a pandemic? (4) Wise investors are monitoring the China Evergrande Group collapse and concerned about the “Ripple Effects”.

Economic Forecast:

Last week The Fed announced it would begin tapering its Quantitative Easing (QE) later this year and increase the Fed Funds rate next year. Both are an acknowledgement that inflation is a

serious concern especially as the DMS continue to pursue their massive wasteful spending.

Tapering QE means those Treasuries must be bought by investors. The Fed can reduce the required deposits by banks at The Fed thus freeing banks to buy Treasuries. But with 5% annual inflation any bank president that authorized investing in a 10-year Treasuries paying 1.5% should be fired. Therefore, interest rates on 10-year Treasuries should increase thus increasing mortgage interest rates which will reduce the market value of real estate, stocks, and bonds. In January I predicted the real estate market activity had peaked, some laughed. My new prediction is that in the fall of 2022, the USA will be in recession and experiencing Stagflation. UGLY.

The financial markets continue to discount the bonds of Chinese real estate development companies. That demonstration of independence is critical. The Chinese banks owned by the CCP will take the direct hit from the default by Evergrande as will some big American investment firms. The CCP has bailed out their banks three times in the last 20 year, here comes bailout number 4. Xi is a dictator and dictators do not tolerate opposing views. I doubt anyone around Xi is asking about the ripple effects from Evergrande which will cascade through China and the global economy. The USA will be impacted by the ripple effects. No wonder two Fed Presidents announced their retirements taking their Pandemic stock portfolio gains with them.

Slashing taxes, decreasing the size of government, and providing tax incentives to build the American manufacturing economy is the proven way to increase the size of the American economic pie allowing more assistance to those who need it. America prospered under the hand of God because our country enjoyed the combination of Christianity, capitalism, and democracy.

Biden and the DMs have us on a path that is a self-destructive and decreases the size of the economic pie. Everyone loses except the “Elites”.

Pray that our Lord and Savior raises up and protects the Patriots that demand forensic audits of the 2020 election in every state. Honest elections are the fulcrum of our American experiment. It is not vengeance to demand honesty and that everyone play by the same laws. Men make plans, but God ALWAYS wins. Every portfolio should contain some cash and a great piece of land remains The Best investment long term.

Keeping walking in The Light.

“Jesus answered, “Are there not twelve hours of daylight? Those who walk during the day do not stumble because they see the light of the world. But those who walk at night stumble, because the light is not in them.””

(John 11: 9-10) New Revised Standard Version, Oxford University Press)

Stay healthy,

Ned

September 29, 2021

Copyright Massie Land Network. All rights Reserved.

[eddiejpoplar]

BMWBLOG Review: 2017 BMW 340i – The Perfect Sleeper   

Times are truly hard for the BMW 3 Series range. A car that invented the sports sedan class as we know it over 30 years ago is now finding itself challenged from all corners by old rivals and newcomers altogether. Can the 3er still claim to be the king of the segment it used to rule unchallenged? We set out to find out using the only petrol straight six model in the range, the 2017 BMW 340i.

Launched once the facelift version of the current 3 Series arrived on the markets worldwide, the 340i is going to be a thing of the past starting with 2019. That’s because this lone wolf with a rather peculiar name will transform once again, when the G20 3 Series comes out. That’s when the only petrol six-cylinder model still available in the range will become an M Performance Automobile known as the M340i.

Therefore, those wanting to buy the perfect sleeper still have a bit over a year to do so, as the new 3 Series range is bound to be launched in the middle of Q4 in 2018. That means the 340i will have been in production for almost 3 years, a rather limited run. But did the 340i make such an impression that we will be sad to see it go?

The 340i top of the range model is, as I’ve already said, the perfect sleeper. Get it without the M Sport package and the standard Estoril blue color, delete its badge from the boot and instead go for the Luxury package and you’ll be able to trick a lot of people into thinking that this is actually a 320d. But the two cars couldn’t more different in both terms of power and enjoyment.

From the outside the 340i looks like any other 3 Series models in the range, no matter the exterior color or package you go with. You can get a similarly mean looking M Sport design on anything from the 318i to the 330d, and nobody would bat an eyelash. The slightly updated LCI 3 Series – or Life Cycle Impulse as the Bavarians call their facelifts – brings just new headlights and taillights into the mix. And while they do look better than the old ones, some people will find it hard to differentiate the two versions.

The bigger changes happened underneath the sheet metal and they brought along a couple of new age engines, such as the one under the hood of the 340i. The old 335i model was replaced and with it, the N55 3-liter straight six mill that won over a lot of enthusiasts over the years. Instead, the 340i comes with a new-age B58 3-liter straight-six that develops 326 PS and 450 Nm (332 lb-ft) of torque. Those figures are a bit lower than the ones on the new 540i for example, but that’s not something that should bother you, the 340i is a proper fast car anyway.

Along with it, the range also got a couple of other upgrades, on other models. New age engines were introduced on everything from the 318i to the 330i which is a completely new model replacing the old 328i. Furthermore, inside the cabin we also got a new iDrive system that is now better organized and comes with better graphics. Other than that, the car is largely the same when compared to the original F30. The platform underneath is the same and the 8-speed gearbox is just as brilliant. Our tester also came with xDrive all-wheel drive which meant this thing could do some pretty unbelievable things.

The most important numbers you need to remember are these: 0-62 mph in 4.9 seconds. It may look like that’s not fast enough but it feels even faster when you’re behind the wheel and the fact that you have xDrive to help out means that you can constantly reach the claimed acceleration numbers with no drama. As a matter of fact, the 340i could turn out to be faster than an M3 if the driver of the M car doesn’t know how to control the rear axle when launching. But even if the 340i isn’t faster than the M3, it’s considerably faster than most cars on the road, without looking the part, especially without the M Sport package.

That power does come at a cost though and that’s reflected every time you stop at a gas station because this thing is thirsty, especially if you keep running it at full throttle. It may seem peculiar but the way the 340i accelerates, handles and sounds makes it rather hard to keep off the throttle and sedate yourself. Around town we saw a fuel consumption of 12 l/100 km (19.6 mpg) on average, dipping closer to 10 l/100 km (23.52 mpg) on rare occasions. Out on the highway, the numbers were closer to 8/100 km (29.4 mpg) but only when not going over 75 mph. That’s acceptable for a car of this size and with so much power under the hood.

Speaking of which, overtaking is a breeze in the 340i at speeds even up to 100 mph. The car has the kind of get up and go that can get your heart racing in a millisecond, even at higher speeds. Flat out it will reach 200 km/h (124 mph) in about 17 seconds, going up to its electronically limited top speed in around 31 seconds which, for a regular 3 Series, is more than enough.

In terms of handling, the 3er still hold its own. Due to xDrive, the turn in is neutral and the engineers did a great job at setting up the system to send most of its power to the rear wheels. As a matter of fact, most of the time, the car does feel like it’s rear-wheel drive but when xDrive kicks in, you can definitely feel it and there are two major situations when that happens: whenever you launch the car and when you push it into a bend, carrying more speed when exiting a corner than a RWD model would. It’s quite spectacular how composed the 340i behaves in these situations and you can actually feel the inside wheel pulling you out of the corner when pushing it.

Furthermore, the 3 Series remains one of the few models out there that still offers a manual gearbox for those who really want to have some fun on the road. The manual gearbox on the 340i does come with an annoying feature though which is the automatic rev-matching. You can turn it off but only when fully deactivating DSC and that’s not something everyone wants to do.

The steering has been the weak link of the F30 3 Series ever since it came out. Compared to the hydraulic system used on the E9x models before, it is indeed lighter and offers less feedback to the driver. However, xDrive helps out here but only ever so slightly. And while in Comfort mode the steering is perfectly weighted in Sport mode it becomes artificially heavy and with no noticeable improvements in terms of the amount of feedback reaching the palms of your hands.

Inside the cabin, on the LCI model things remained the same. The sound deadening seems to have also been improved but that may be just this one reviewer’s feeling, as BMW didn’t say anything about doing something along these lines. Nevertheless, the car is quiet on the highway and only the wind brushing up against the A-Pillars makes a noticeable hum at speeds up to 120 km/h (75 mph) which is the cruising speed most of us use anyhow.

The interior is as Spartan and purposeful as ever, now showing its age more than ever. It’s not ugly and it does come with premium materials and a perfect finish, but it does seem old in comparison to what other manufacturers are offering today, especially Mercedes-Benz and Audi. You can easily fit four adults inside but five may be a stretch since the rear seats are not offering a lot of room.

When compared to its main rivals, the 3 Series comes in second in this regard. The C-Class feels more cramped in the back and headroom is a bit more limited. The A4 wins here because of its more spacious rear seats.

The boot of the 3er is also quite spacious, offering 481 liters or 17 cu. ft. for luggage while carrying even more is possible by folding the rear seats. Compared to the A4 and the C-Class there’s nothing to separate them as they all have the same claimed figure in terms of luggage space. The problems come from the shape of the openings and the Audi offers the best choice in this regard. Another problem you may face in the BMW is the fact that when the seats are folded the floor won’t be flat.

Where the 3 Series still rules the competition undoubtedly though is the infotainment system. The 6.0 version is above everything else rivals have to offer. It’s even easier to use now due to the new sub-menus and, even though it doesn’t come with a touch-sensitive screen, you don’t really need it. Reaching the screen as it is positioned now on top of the dash is distracting and uncomfortable. At the same time, the iDrive controller makes life a peach with its functionality and touchpad on top.

When it comes to driving impressions, the A4 drops from the list, being replaced by the Jaguar XE. That’s because it’s the only car in the segment that doesn’t come with RWD and is based on a FWD platform. The new A4 is comfortable though and does offer plenty of grip when fitted with Quattro. However, when pushed hard, the BMW rises above the competition. The C-Class comes close but the one the Bimmer has to truly watch out for in this regard is the Jaguar XE which has a sharper steering rack.

Overall, the BMW 340i does feel like an improvement over the older 335i. To be fair, the car solves some of the issues reviewers pointed out when it first came out. The front axle now has stiffer front struts while the rear dampers are now retuned to make sure the car is more comfortable in comfort mode and more stable when in sport mode. BMW also claims the steering uses a new software but the changes are so small that you can barely notice them.

All of this makes the 3 Series more composed, with better body control, in every situation. Get the adaptive dampers and you’ll get a dual-character cruiser that can be both comfortable around town and an agile cat whenever you decide to have some fun. Considering the ever-increasing competition, the 3 Series has to fight off, troubled times lay ahead and the G20 model just can’t seem to get here fast enough.