#who was so affected he was crying in his sleep and calling out lbh's name over and over

[mewtwo24]

I just started reading the svsss volumes (and re-read them again because A LOT IS GOING ON) but like. This shit is so hysterically funny I don't even know where to begin.

Was no one????? Going to tell me that one of the cornerstone jokes in the damn series is that lbh's adoration for his one and only 'tism person who literally cannot express his emotions to save his life is basically genetic?????????

Was no one???? No one AT ALL going to tell me that Mobei-Jun straight up yeets Airplane at the problem in one of the scenes?????? And that in the most hilarious twist of fate Airplane then unyeets Mobei-Jun not twenty minutes later?????

It's one thing to see people joke about sqq and lbh being unable to communicate but it's on a league of its own when you have to read HUNDREDS OF PAGES of sqq's inner monologue be like 'that's my darling boy. my baby. my sugar plum pumpy umpkin you're my sweetie pie' but on the outside he says "get lost binghe" and somehow deems that an effective expression of his affection that lbh will surely understand. 'Why is lbh whining and crying and tugging at my sleeve like a plaintive wife, why is he so angry?' Sqq asks, the entire circus, as lbh is about to fling himself off a cliff for attention--

In short, MXTX is the queer comedian of our generation and nobody appreciates her enough

[grandmasterofwangxiancultivation]

SV ch.64

I decided to give myself a reward, since I'm working very hard and all, so I said "okay girl, one chapter" and what did I do? I jumped on sv

We were left with the confirmation (that didn't surprise absolutely anyone) that father-in-law is batshit crazy, since it seems he wants to merge human and demon together. BUT WHY??? ISN'T HUMANITY ATROCIOUS ENOUGH? WHY DO YOU WANNA CREATE SO MUCH CAOS- wait, right, he is a demon, I'm stupid

EDIT:

Shen Qingqiu’s voice dropped low. “So this was the ‘present’ you wanted to send? Don’t you think it’s a bit too malicious on your part?”

always so refined when voicing his opinion, does it seem like he was kidnapped? yeah, pls, let’s just talk about the destruction of the world as we know it a bit more-

Tianlang-Jun rubbed his chin in contemplation, then spoke in that cultured tone of his. “I really harbor no ill will towards them at all–I love the human world very much, and it’s long been a long-cherished wish of mine for deeper communication between the two races.”

(that moment when you prefer being hated rather than loved)

EDIT 2: did i ever tell you i love it when shizun goes all shizun-ish on people? DID I? PROBABLY RIGHT? BLESS SHIZUN EVERY DAY, how he tries to make big boss reflet upon how foolish his idea is with such clever words.... AAAAAH I MISSED YOU SHIZUN! father-in-law is just too stubborn, in that charmingly evil kind of way, you know? he is all shrugging shoulders and “i’ll merge the two world and deal with death after. it’s not such a bad thing, a dead person or 290358598459034, no prob, i’ll deal with it ‘cause i love humanity!!”

like.... okay?

EDIT 3:

He turned so that Shen Qingqiu could no longer see his expression. He could only hear him sigh quietly. “Ah Xiyan, she really was…”

She really was…what?

Shen Qingqiu pondered over that subtle tone of his. Sweet and gentle? Pure and kind?

Tianlang-Jun continued, “Cold and ruthless. That was what I loved about her.”

OOOOOH THAT’S WHAT I CALL JUICY DETAILS!!!

EDIT 4:

Although Luo Binghe had never mentioned a word, Shen Qingqiu knew that deep inside, he often dreamed about what his birth parents would be like. He knew that he was born of a distinguished young woman and a powerful demon noble, but he could never put names or faces to them. So he always secretly imagined how it would be if they were still there…how tender and warm they would be, and how they would protect him from anyone that looked down on him.

BABE. OH BABE. OMG I CAN IMAGINE A YOUNGER LBH DREAMING ABOUT HIS FAMILY AND THINKING ABOUT HOW THINGS WOULD HAVE BEEN WITH THEM IN HIS LIFE NOT KNOWING WHAT KIND OF PERSON HIS FATHER REALLY IS OMGGGGGGGGG I WANNA HUG HIM

BABE

I LOVE YOU, I’LL GIVE YOU ALL THE AFFECTION YOU NEED- i think a part of shizun wants to give him this, too. mama shizun. or daddy shizun. OOOOH IS THAT A KINK-

EDIT 5:

As soon as that demon girl that had been following him the entire time left, Shen Qingqiu immediately collapsed onto his bed in relief. He closed his eyes and waited for the dreamscape to descend.

doesn’t he seem eager to reunite with his lbh-

He didn’t know how much time had passed before he suddenly felt the moonlight quiver. Shen Qingqiu opened his eyes and saw Luo Binghe half-kneeling before his bed.

(BINGHE. BABE, YOU’RE SHIZUN IS THERE, HUG THE SHIT OUT OF HIM-)

EDIT 6:

“Luo Binghe, listen to me, there’s something very important here––” Shen Qingqiu had just begun speaking when Luo Binghe immediately tackled him.

OKAY W O W BLESS OMG-

EDIT 7:

He threw himself over Shen Qingqiu, who fell back onto the bed, his mouth sealed shut by a soft warmth on top of him. He couldn’t make the slightest sound and was forced to stare helplessly as his face grew furiously more red by the moment. Luo Binghe had no sense of restraint, and his kisses grew deeper and deeper like he was a small beast trying to devour his prey.

OKAY NO WHAT ARE THEY KISSING LBH IS  K I S S I N G HIM AND 

IS

SHIZUN

BLUSHING

OH SWEET MOTHER OF GOD YES BLESS THIS WHAT HELP ICANTFREAKINGBREATH-

EDIT 8: i’m still trying to regain my ability to be alive ‘cause those fewline nearly KILLED ME-

EDIT 9:

Shen Qingqiu finally managed to catch his breath and commanded, “…….Luo Binghe, kneel properly now!”

mh, shizun, you don’t seem so angry for those kisses, muahahaha

Luo Binghe lifted the hems of his robes and immediately fell into a perfect kneeling posture.

“Do you know why you’re kneeling right now?” Shen Qingqiu asked.

Luo Binghe’s back was as straight as a board as he replied. “This one is but a lowly disciple, and yet assaulted Shizun……”

THANK YOU FOR KISSING THE SHIT OUT OF HIM. THANK YOU.

EDIT 10:

Shen Qingqiu chastised him. “Who told you to say that! This master will settle the matter with you later. Tianlang-Jun told you to hand over the Heart Devil sword and you just went ahead and gave it to him? I don’t remember teaching you to be such a……” Such a naive little girl1!

Luo Binghe replied, “I had no choice. Besides, it wasn’t anything particularly important, so why not hand it over?”

Wasn’t anything particularly important? This all-powerful treasure that most could cry and sob for but never even glimpse at! Even a mountain of riches couldn’t stand up to the prodigal son.

OKAY, yes, i love how he pointed this out because yeah, it’s such an incredible big deal, and yet lbh didn’t hesitate a second to hand it over, knowing that not doing it would mean harm shizun. he is so different from the original binghe, he cares about power only in order to protect shizun and that MAKES MY HEART GO ALL DOKIDOKI AND LOVE HIM SO MUCH.

EDIT 11:

His tone was rather like that of a petulant young woman, one who was always clinging onto her partner asking, “Do you really love me? Do you love your career more than you love me?”

i love shizun’s comparison, they are always so on point.

EDIT 12: WAIT WHAT THE FUCK

WHAT

THE

FUCK

I’VE BEEN TREACKED

Somehow it seemed like……this wasn’t a dream?

That meant…Luo Binghe was standing in his tent, and not just in his dreamscapes.

The one in front of him was the man himself!

THEY REALLY KISSED? NOT DREAM-KISSED BUT KISSED-KISSED?????????

MDOPVGKWERèOèEKèPEWR

BINGHE YOU ARE SO FUCKING BOLD

I LOVE YOU

ThEy KiSsEd siojrgpowkrgpowrklgpfvwlre

EDIT 12:

He no longer held the Heart Devil sword that could open a door to anywhere. Crossing the entire northern country to arrive here had to be well over a thousand miles.

HE LOVES YOU, HE WOULD FRIGGING F L Y SO THAT HE COULD COME AND SAVE YOU

EDIT 13:

Luo Binghe took advantage of his hesitation to press one leg up onto his bedside. Shen Qingqiu could almost taste the blood rising into his mouth, but he needed to maintain his dignity as Shizun. “Luo Binghe, ah Luo Binghe. Don’t you think you’re being too arrogant, far too conceited in your audacity? You’ve served yourself up on a silver platter. At least twenty percent of demons of the South are here, not to mention two powerful elders of your bloodline. If you’re discovered, you’re as good as dead!”

(I DON’T DETECT DISGUST, SHIIIIIIIZUN, YOU’RE BEING SO WORRIED AND PROTECTIVE- MY HEART, GUYS, MY HEARTOIEJRVIEJKSFIVKER

also, is it just me or imaging shizun trying to keep his back straight (AAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH) and his dignity intact while sultry-looking binghe tries to kiss him is the funniest thing ever?)

Luo Binghe replied, “Shizun, I couldn’t bear to stand by as you were stolen away. I was afraid he would activate the demonic blood within you. You can’t tell me to just sit there and wait. Shizun, please stop scolding me for this; I truly couldn’t hold back any longer.”

*swoon* omg binghe-

EDIT 14:

Zhuzhi-Lang’s voice carried in. “Master Shen3? Have you turned in already?”

As soon as he heard this, Luo Binghe’s eyes suddenly took on a murderous light as he turned towards the sound with an ice-cold glare. Shen Qingqiu was busy holding him down, giving him a stern look that told him not to be rash.

He didn’t know what was happening, but Luo Binghe’s face blushed quite red under that look, sending a shiver down his spine. Outside the tent, the demon army was patrolling, and inside the tent, there was nowhere to hide. With little other choice, he lifted the covers and Luo Binghe readily slid in.

OKAY HOW THE HELL

IS THIS SCENE SO FUCKING SEXY?

I’M SCREAMING

I AM CHOKING

MURDEROUS LBH MAKES ME SWOON BUT

STERN-LOOKING SHIZUN AND TREMBLING-M LBH

what did i do to deserve such a wonderful gift, WHAT-

AND BINGHE SLID UNDER THE COVERS OF SHIZUN’S BED

SHIZUN’S  B E D 

ARE WE ALL ON THE SAME PAGE HERE ‘CAUSE I FEELING LIKE I AM GOING TO EXPLODE

EDIT 15:

Luo Binghe peeked out and asked suspiciously, “Why is that snake coming inside while Shizun is sleeping?”

jealous binghe is the reason why i am alive in this planet

EDIT 16:

Shen Qingqiu replied, “I was sleepy, and didn’t want to reply. Xizhi-Lang, you should go now.”

Zhuzhi-Lang was taken aback. “Didn’t we already agree during the day?”

[...] Luo Binghe poked his head out again and questioned him quietly, “What did you agree to?”

JEALOUS BINGHE 2.0 AND I’M FLYING AWAAAAAAAAAAY if i were you, i’d run away, zhuzhzuhzuzu

EDIT 17:

Zhuzhi-Lang asked, “Master Shen, will you be okay?”

Behind him, Luo Binghe suddenly tore off the blankets, his entire face full of rage. Shen Qingqiu expression didn’t change the slightest. “I’m used to it.”

Zhuzhi-Lang nodded, then turned and placed a golden stove on the small table beside them. Taking advantage of the moment, Shen Qingqiu waved a hand and forced Luo Binghe back under the blankets, covering him in an instant. By the time Zhuzhi-Lang turned back around, he was already back to standing as usual, not a single hair out of place. Zhuzhi-Lang took one of the burning red coals out and said, “Master Shen, please remove your overclothes.”

THIS IS SO FUCKING FUNNY HELP IT SEEMS ONE OF THOSE BAD FAMILY COMEDIES 

EDIT 18:

Shen Qingqiu lowered his head and began slowly untying his waist sash. He was afraid of moving too quickly. If he actually took it all off, Luo Binghe would likely tear down the bed and Zhuzhi-Lang along with it. He moved slow enough to drive even the most patient man to frustration. After waiting for a long while, Zhuzhi-Lang finally couldn’t help but glance towards him. “Perhaps Master Shen’s fingers are having trouble? Would this one be able to help?”

Shen Qingqiu saw his gaze lifting towards him, and hurriedly pulled at the lapels of his robes, the outermost garment sliding easily off his shoulders.

THIS SCENE IS TOO MUCH. JUST IMAGINE LBH’S FACE RIGHT NOW, SOMEONE ELSE IS TOUCHING IS SHIZUN, SHIZUN IS TAKING PART OF HIS CLOTHES OFF IN FRONT OF SOMEONE ELSE AND HE HAS TO STAY HIDDEN

*whispers* and are you noticing how shizun’s reaction are getting milder and milder? look at that (trying to not provoke lbh’s rage) when zzhzuhzuzhz offers to help-

EDIT 19:

Luo Binghe silently threw his palm forwards, sending a massive wave of black Qi towards Zhuzhi-Lang’s back. Shen Qingqiu suddenly waved his hand and smacked the piece of coal right out of Zhuzhi-Lang’s grasp.

The coal rolled across the ground and out of the tent. Zhuzhi-Lang, who was smacked for absolutely no reason, was left at a complete loss. Shen Qingqiu explained apologetically, “My hand slipped.”

IS THIS NOVEL TRYING TO KILL ME BY MAKING ME LAUGH TO DEATH?!?!?!?! THE SPECTACULAR DUO

THEY ARE SO CLUMSY OMG

EDIT 20:

He beckoned with his finger and the fallen garment flew into his hand. He threw it onto Shen Qingqiu’s shoulders. “Put it on!”

[...] Shen Qingqiu spoke, “Why? I’m going to need to take it off anyway.”Luo Binghe replied angrily, “…Why is it that Shizun has to take off your clothes and let him stare are you?”

JEALOUS LBH 3.0 i think i’m gonna make a list with my jealous lbh favorite moments, what about it

EDIT 21:

Zhuzhi-Lang asked, “Master Shen, didn’t you just say ‘not on the bed’?”

Shen Qingqiu smiled a little. “Oh? Really? Did I say that?”

Having to cover it up in a rush, he had accidentally sat right on top of Luo Binghe…….

But sitting like this was actually not bad–Luo Binghe finally obediently stopped moving.

bet lbh is elated

EDIT 22: OKAY BUT CAN WE STOP FOR A SECOND AND JUST READ THIS

“Is Master Shen not hot?”

“It’s not hot.”

"Then, Master Shen, doesn’t it…hurt?”

“It doesn’t hurt,"

“Several times before, Master Shen always seemed extremely reluctant. Tonight you’ve finally taken the initiative, as it should be.”

“Is this enough?”

“Yes, this is fine.”

AND THINK ABOUT WHAT IT MAY SEEM LIKE IN LBH’S HEAD? I AM DYING. I THINK HE IS DYING TO KILL ZHZUHZUZHZU 

EDIT 23:

Shen Qingqiu was overjoyed. Luo Binghe was probably approaching his limit too. But who knew that Zhuzhi-Lang wasn’t quite done speaking yet. “Junshang has just said that tonight, he too wanted to stop by…”

He hadn’t even finished his sentence when Luo Binghe finally couldn’t take it anymore and stood up violently.

OH SHIT

[grandmasterofwangxiancultivation]

SV ch.60

what a day, guys, sv donghua’s pv blew up tumblr and twitter and now we are here reunited around ch.60. svsss is gonna kill us all :)

Ah, that’s right! After all, at the end of the day, a master is not obligated to help his disciple quench his fire. Even if he was the one who accidentally rubbed against it and stoked the fire, it’s all the same!!!

I SWEAR. 

I KNOW I ALWAYS SAY THIS, BUT 

I S W E A R I HAVE NEVER LAUGHED LIKE THIS IN MY LIFE!!!! this since i am responsible i should help thing is nice and all (a cultural aspect, too, for sure), but applied to shizun (who is trying to convince himself that everything is fine, omg, CUTE) rubbing one out of lbh... like, shizun! even in his sleeping, lbh is horny for your ass-

EDIT: i naively thought, wow they got out! little did i know...

Despite the illusion of being in a jungle, they have not left the Holy Mausoleum but only arrived at one of the special crypts within it.

EDIT 2: shizun being protective of lbh is gonna be what ends my life, wow

EDIT 3: IS A JUNGLE ATTACKING SQQ

EDIT 4:

This obstacle had not been resolved before a second flash of white light struck. This time, it directly stabbed at Luo Binghe’s throat. The Xiu Ya sword was blocking the first sword and couldn’t be recalled; neither could he throw Luo Binghe aside. If he fell amongst those treacherous flowers and plants, he would be done for!

He raised his arm and seized the edge of the sword with his bare hand.

The blade cut deeply into his palm, but he could still hold it firmly, and it did not advance another half inch. Blood did not drip—it poured out. It spilled over Shen Qingqiu’s clothes and dyed the grass on the ground bright red.

He finally realized how painful it must have been when Luo Binghe had previously grabbed at his blade.

Shen Qingqiu’s eyes reddened. He jerked his head and his pupils shrank.

i am fine. i am fine, i’m not CRYING SCREAMING SOBBING CALLING SHIZUN’S NAME MUMBLING INCOHERENTLY BECAUSE ARE THOSE FEELINGS SHIZUN DID YOU UNDERSTAND YOU ARE LIVING YOUR LIFE AND PPL ARE PPL EVEN IF YOU ARE IN A NOVEL AND YOU ARE ALLOWED TO FEEL or anything.

it’s not like shizun is letting someone’s sword cutting his palm in half for lbh

EDIT 5:

His expression did not change except for the addition of a fake smile: “Lady Qiu, Old Palace Master, I trust you’ve been well.”

oh, so these are the +2. mmmmh i think lbh did something bad to them we don’t know about...?

(bless shizun for always summing up the important stuff and making me remember names and events i would otherwise keep forgeting

but, like, how did these to end up being allies??)

EDIT 6: oh, here is another one who wanted to be lbh’s shifu but SQQ IS LBH’S ONLY MASTER SO SUCK IT UP THANK YOU. 

also, shizun finding out lbh wasn’t behind huan hua disciples bad mouthing him and i’m like, why didn’t you believe your precious disciple sooner, he wants you, just youuuuuu.

It would seem that back then, the Huan Hua Palace disciples’ antagonism towards him was not instigated by Luo Binghe, but rather the deliberate influence of the Old Palace Master. Shen Qingqiu couldn’t help shooting a glance at Luo Binghe. This child, if he had been less pig-headed and accepted other people as his master, a lot of grief could have been avoided. But Shen Qingqiu could not begrudge him his brainless willfulness.

(THESE TWO WERE BEHIND THE JINLAN CITY THING I WANNA STRANGLE THEM but wait, thank you for the water prison scene-

also, shizun and feelings toward lbh 2.0 i am alive todaaaaaay)

EDIT 7:

The Old Palace Master was actually sliced into a human stick! A great leader of his generation reduced to such a miserable state, barely considered human and more miserable than a ghost. Bedraggled and filthy, with only the head being able to turn about. The original Shen Qingqiu’s fate has been transferred to the Old Palace Master!

OKAY I DID NOT EXPECT THAT WTF

pls don’t let this affect sqq, pls don’t let him remind him about lbh’s counterpart in the original work, pls we need all the steps forward shizun was moving saojfoisjefiwof

EDIT 8:

When facing Tianlang-Jun, a character whose data had not existed previously, Luo Binghe’s plot armor was useless. But the Old Palace Master did play a role in the original work, and hence should be subjected to the same laws dictating the protagonist’s golden undying body. This effect should still be in place. He could try standing back, let the Old Palace Master hack at Luo Binghe, and like back at Shuang Hu City, see who ends up dead instead.

The Old Palace Master slowly said: “I will ask once more, will you stand aside, or not?”

Shen Qingqiu lowered his arm, the blood flowing from his palm had slowed to a trickle. He formed his reply.

He looked up and said coldly: “Just like the Old Palace Master has said, he is my good disciple. You tell me, would I stand aside?”

Can’t be helped, things have changed. Now it’s no longer the same as it was back then.

OKAY LET’S

LET’S JUST PAUSE FOR A SEC AND ANALYSE THIS BECAUSE SOMETHING NEEDS TO BE SAID.

that’s actually a pretty good plan, like, nothing can happen to lbh as long as one of the known characters tries to kill him, so it could be the perfect escape route. sqq knows. sqq has thought this before, applied this principle to his first mission and suceeded! 

but

now it’s no longer the same as it was back then, which is huge! aside from romantic feelings and all, shizun is finally freaking acknowledging is affection toward this cutie, to the point that even if he knows the plot armor could work, he cannot bear the thought of putting lbh in an ideal danger. he doesn’t stand aside, he protects him with his body.

i. am. crying.

EDIT 9: 

On the way down, he twisted around and used himself as a meat shield, not letting Luo Binghe hit the ground. He ended up squashed by the full weight of his body and saw stars.

(*takes a deep breath* shizun stop being so freaking perfect okay thank you aofoaiejfioaejfuaehfoai)

Fine wispy threads of white floated over, about to land on Luo Binghe’s pale cheeks. Shen Qingqiu gently puffed at it, and the white fluff scattered away.

omg cute-

EDIT 10:

The Old Palace Master gazed at him for a long while then sighed: “When you close your eyes, you resemble her the most. And also when you’re being cold.”

His eyes traveled over Luo Binghe’s face greedily. If he still had hands, he would have reached out to fondle as well. Shen Qingqiu felt ill. He couldn’t help clasping Luo Binghe’s head and pulling him closer into his arms.

The two were now in a position where Luo Binghe was cozily snuggled against him with his head resting on Shen Qingqiu’s chest. Shen Qingqiu’s voice was low: “Open your eyes, he isn’t Su Xiyan.”

okay that was creepy as hell. i hope he didn’t try anything funny while he still had all his limbs on... or maybe that’s why lbh did it?

EDIT 11: DID HE DO SOMETHING TO LBH’S MOTHER? I KILL HIM FOR GOOD.

EDIT 12:

He spoke in a coaxing manner: “Xiyan…. come over here…. Shizun has something nice for you, drink this….”

The Old Palace Master sank into a confused state again, saliva dribbling from the corners of his mouth. Qiu Haitang backed away slowly, disgust brimming in her eyes. Shen Qingqiu’s heart felt frozen in his chest as his nausea grew.

Unable to tolerate the Old Palace Master leering at him, Shen Qingqiu lifted the back of Luo Binghe’s head with his hand and pressed his face to his chest. Fed up, he snapped: “That’s enough!”

I AM GONNA THROW UP ALL OVER THIS DISGUSTING HUMAN BEING but i am also gonna squeal in happines ‘cause LOOK AT SHIZUN GOING ALL PROTECTIVE OVER LBH HE DOESN’T WANT THAT MANIAC EVEN LOOKING AT HIM AND HE HIDES LBH FROM HIS SIGHT OMG 

BLESS