#whoever gets the snake's name reference gets a smooch emoji lol

[ohnomybreadsticks]

So all the way back in August I wrote two parts of a little dog walker AU - G9 and Hankcon. I told @connorssock there was going to be an Allen60 part and then life kinda kicked my ass...but here it is, as promised! One grumpy sibling, coming right up! ;D

cw: if you don’t like snakes, there is mention of them here and a brief description, so this may not be your cup of tea

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Sixty was quietly glaring at both of his brothers as they fussed around the house. It was Saturday, which was all of their day off. Which should mean it was a day for relaxing and watching dumb movies all together. That’s how it always used to be. Somehow though, both of his brothers had turned into morons the minute they met a guy who would give them the time of day. Neither of the guys in question were even relatively worthy of his brothers, in Sixty’s opinion. Tiny yelling man and big unkempt man were not exactly what he had in mind for his incredible siblings. It definitely wasn’t that he was feeling left out and left behind now that they both had...well, not quite official boyfriends, but close enough to be terrible. 

Another pointed sigh left Sixty’s lips as Connor fussed in front of the mirror to make sure that his new shirt looked okay. It did, of course, although Sixty wouldn’t have been caught dead in that shade of blue. They may have been twins, but he had the better taste of the family. “Oh come off it Sixty, stop being such a grump.” Niles said, glancing over at him from where he was checking to make sure the picnic basket was packed, “We already told you we want you to come with us to the shelter. It’s not like we’re ditching your or anything. We just know you hate the outdoors and also Hank and Gavin, so you’re not invited to the picnic afterwards.”

“But I don’t like animals either!” Sixty whined, giving up the pretense of not being upset over the direction today was taking. That got an eye roll from both of his brothers, who had been brainwashed into caring about furry pests by their boyfriends. The fur made Sixty sniffle, and he hated how clingy that stupid little dog Connor was taking care of was. Who needed that much attention all the time?? When there was no response from either of his brothers though, Sixty realized that he had really run out of chances. If he didn’t go with them he’d be left behind for real. Biting back the sting of that realization, he spat out “Fucking fine. I’ll go. But I’m not going to be nice to either of your stupid boys.” 

Which was how, unfortunately, Sixty found himself at the local animal shelter, idly glaring at the collection of cats in cages. Connor and Hank were off with Sumo no doubt making doe eyes at each other and blushing or something, and Gavin had dragged Niles away to look at some particularly pathetic rescue dog. Fitting, Sixty thought, for a pathetic rescue himself. He sighed again, this time more dejectedly since no one was around to hear him. Just all these little mewling furballs, which were already making his nose itch. Eyeing them suspiciously, Sixty wandered to the end of the room and leaned on the door there. Probably just a supply closet, and besides he was here alone.

Or so he thought, until the door behind him budged open and Sixty was forced to straighten up with an offended yelp. “Watch it!” He said, crossing his arms and already glaring at whoever had dared to disturb his moping. The man who emerged didn’t look fazed at all, even though his was a good few inches shorter than Sixty and thus had to tilt his chin up to give him a perplexed look. “You’re the one who should watch it. This is a working door.” He replied, gesturing at the label Sixty had missed - ‘Exotic Animals’. 

“Psh. Exotic animals. What’re those, animals with little stripper heels on?” Sixty sneered, giving the man in front of him a good once over. He was shorter, obviously, but stocky and clearly well muscled. The uniform helped, Sixty thought snootily, probably bulking him out with that dumb bullet proof vest. “Or are they such dangerous animals that you have to show up in full riot gear, Mr. Allen.” Sixty added, reading the last name off the clear name badge embroidered on the uniform. Allen simply chuckled and shrugged off both of the barbs. “I mean, I’d be impressed if you managed to get these little guys into stripper heels.” He said, clearly amused by the idea, “And as for the uniform, I’m on my lunch break. Didn’t exactly think I needed to look like a bum to visit the animal shelter.”

Sixty feigned a gasp, but he had to admit he hadn’t exactly dressed his best for today. He was going to have to wash these clothes anyways later, what with all the pet dander, so he was in a simple T-shirt and jeans. “Fine, I was wrong.” He admitted through gritted teeth, “Now are you going to tell me what the fuck an exotic animal is?” Instead of answering, Allen opened the door and gestured for Sixty to go in, which he did with some trepidation. If he got abducted or murdered or whatever he was going to kill Connor and Niles for it. But instead of stepping into a murder room or a strip club, Sixty found himself in a dim room filled with tanks. Lots and lots of tanks, some of which were bathed in warm golden light from the heat lamps inside them.

“My team did a raid on a drug dealer - turns out the dude had a thing for snakes. I just came to check on them and see how the little devils were doing here in the shelter.” Allen explained, but Sixty was barely listening. He had drifted closer to one of the tanks where a snake was simply sitting and sunning itself on a big rock, tongue lazily flicking in and out. “This...you can have these as pets?” He asked, looking back at Allen with an embarrassing amount of wonder in his eyes. He had never known that pets could actually be cool animals. This snake didn’t give a shit that he was here, it was just enjoying itself. It was perfect.

Allen laughed at that, and his smile made the corners of his eyes crinkle up. Sixty wasn’t sure why he noticed that. “I mean, hell yeah. I’ve got a few lizards at home myself, although I’ve never dabbled in snakes. They’re pretty chill, if you care for them the right way.” Something in Sixty’s chest was tight and warm at that description, and he turned back to the snake in its tank with the beginnings of a smile himself. Pretty chill if you cared for them the right way. Yeah. He felt, rather than saw, the way that Allen was watching him take in the snake, but he found he didn’t mind all that much.

It took half an hour, but by the time the three brothers walked out of the shelter, Sixty was carrying Sir Hiss in his new carrier and practically beaming. Connor was trying to hold back his own smile, while Niles kept throwing distressed looks at the box. But Sixty didn’t care. He had a new pet, one that would hang out with him while he was home and not care if he wasn’t the best conversationalist. And on top of that, he had the card of a certain ‘Captain Allen - SWAT Team Specialist’ in his pocket. You know, for advice on reptiles.