#wish i knew it was stolen i found this shit on tiktok too its. SO fucking funny

[ikigaisvt]

laundry room

in which your husband is really good at cleaning - and he looks hot doing so.

pairing: seungcheol x she/her!reader, husband!seungcheol x wife!reader, somewhat dom!seungcheol x somewhat sub!reader & somewhat sub!seungcheol x somewhat dom!reader words: 2.6k content: smut, fluff (minors dni) warnings: reader uses she/her, seungcheol picks up reader twice (sorry), they're so in love with each other, sex standing up, vry horny reader tbh, seungcheol is a teasing shit, swearing, fingering, begging, multiple orgasms (for reader), unprotected sex, cum eating(?), petnames (for reader : sweetheart, darling, baby, wife, pretty wife / for seungcheol : baby) note: i had this idea after seeing a tiktok of a married couple cleaning up every night,,, MINORS DNI or you'll be blocked. anyway seungcheol is so husband material and i can see him doing the most for his partner irl (i love him sm) i hope everyone likes it, pls don't forget to reblog!

You always knew you were lucky to have such an amazing husband; in fact, all your friends asked you at least once where you found him.

Seungcheol is truly a dream come true: he is a hardworking man, he always finds energy to cook for you, clean around the house every night, but most importantly, he never fails to make time to love you but also to satisfy you. Ever since you two started going to bed – to do more than sleeping – he always found a moment to fulfill your needs, with no shaming.

It's been over three hours since your husband came home, looking as good as ever and a little over an hour since you two started cleaning up around the house after dinner; your daily cleaning time started in the kitchen with Seungcheol doing the dishes while you were wiping down the counter tops. You stole glances at your husband the whole time, noticing the way his arms bulged at every one of his movements, his white shirt hugging his body tightly, his back tattoo showing through the thin material making you drool at the view. He was truly a sight to behold with his blonde hair gently grazing at his upper cheeks as a natural smile hangs on his lips. A few times, he took you by surprise as he turned around to meet your eyes, a chuckle leaving his lips almost every time, knowing you were turning into a puddle – down to your panties – at the way he looked.

Your cleaning made its way through the living room as you were in charge of fluffing the sofa cushions and dusting the coffee table while your husband was vacuuming. The stolen glances followed you all throughout the housework, as if you were still a shy student having a crush on your senior, as if you were not looking at your husband who fucks you every night. As you keep working on the cushions, fluffing them over and over again, being too flustered at the sight of your husband, you wish for time to go by faster so you can hop in the shower and burn your skin with cold water.

But since your husband is none other than the teasing shit Choi Seungcheol is, he keeps making exaggerated noises, groaning every time he has to bend down or push out a chair. He even goes as far as to wipe the sweat on his forehead with his shirt, his torso all in the open for you to feast your eyes upon. You almost snap a few times because his antics were distracting you from your task in hands but you know that sooner than later, it will be time to go to bed and you will somehow get what you want – like you always do. Because as much as Seungcheol is a teasing shit, he is first and foremost a simp for you.

“Are we ready to take care of the laundry, sweetheart?” your husband asks you, wrapping his arms around your waist as you organize a console in your living room, “Because it is hell in there.” He pouts, resting his chin on your shoulder.

“Yeah, all done here!” you say cheerfully, caressing his hands before making your way to the laundry room, “Come on, the quicker we finish this up, the quicker we can go to bed!” you tell him as you push the door open.

“Oh, you want me in bed so bad.” He teases you making your ears burn.

As soon as you enter the room, you start to unload the dryer to fold everything up as you take special care to ignore Seungcheol’s words – and the burning sensation in the pit of your stomach as your husband starts to unload the washing machine. You start to fold up clean clothes and towels, making distinct piles of everything so it is easier to put away, trying your best to ignore your husband who’s quietly working on loading the dryer behind you – his groans and huffs still present in his breath. But as nothing comes without hardships, you fail miserably at ignoring his presence – his scent almost overwhelming you, his presence enveloping you, almost feeling his hands on you. You slowly get lost in the sensation he could give you if only he was touching you right now-

“Baby?” you hear his voice whisper in your neck, giving you goosebumps all the way down to your back, desire building in your stomach, “You’re good?”

“Hm, yeah,” you say as he starts to kiss down the side of your neck, his hands rubbing at your hips, “Just had a moment.”

“Wanna talk about it?” he asks in his deep voice, his hair tickling your collarbones and his lips never once leaving your neck, making your panties wetter by the second.

“I- fuck, I’m okay,” you say, a moan threatening to spill out of your mouth.

“Yeah? You don’t sound okay, darling,” he admits, his hand slowly making its way towards your pink cherry shorts while his other one wraps around your waist pining you gently to his body, “Is that okay?” he asks in your ear, playing with the band of your short.

“Hm, yeah,” you mumble out, one of your hands finding anchor on his arm around your waist, the other one resting on the counter top in front of you, “please,” you beg lowly, already needing him to fuck you.

“My pretty wife, begging so good for me, hm?” he chuckles, his digits crossing your shorts and panties, lightly touching your clit, wetness pouring out of you, “You’re already dripping, sweetheart.” he groans, drawing circles over your clit, building up your orgasm – as if you are not so close already.

“Only for you,” you moan, the knot in your tummy getting tighter and tighter, almost snapping, “Please- need you-” you say, reaching out behind you for his belt but before you can do as much as graze him, he takes your hand and pin it to the counter, making you bend down slightly.

“Let’s not get too greedy, now, hm? You’ve been so good for me, it’d be a shame to ruin everything now, wouldn’t it?” he warns, two of his fingers sinking in your pussy, your walls stretching to welcome him, more cum dripping out of you.

“S-sorry, fuck, feels so good,” you say, almost drooling at the way his fingers feel, plunging in and out in a timed rhythm, his thumb never once stopping its movements on your clit, bringing you so close to the edge, “I- just wanted to- know,” you try to explain, your words coming out all slurred from pleasure.

“Wanted to know what? If I’m hard for you?” he snickers, pushing his pelvis to your body, his hard-on pressing over your lower back, “Feel me.” he whispers, angling his fingers differently, grazing at your sweet spot, your moans coming out in rhythm with the pounding he settled for, “Of course I’m hard for you, darling. You should see yourself right now,” he chokes out, lightly humping himself against you, moans building in his throat, “And knowing you got horny over me cleaning around the house? Here I was, trying to be a good husband while my horny little wife was eye fucking me the entire time.” He sneers before whispering “Of course I saw you.” in answer to your whines.

“Cheol, cheol- fuck, baby,” you mumble, your orgasm burning at your stomach and all the way down to your pussy, your legs almost giving out below you, “I’m so close, can I please cum, please, let me cum, please, please, please,” you babble, feeling like your body is on fire, your eyes stinging with tears.

“Cum for me baby, go ahead,” he says, his fingers never once stopping as he wraps his arms around your waist, supporting you completely, “You can let go, darling. Let it wash over you, I got you,” he whispers, kissing your hair, before you slump in his arms, your orgasm making your legs give out and your eyes roll out. Your pussy spams around his fingers as they never once stop, working through your orgasm making you drip with cum, ruining your shorts and dripping down your thighs.

“Fuck- baby, you came so much,” your husband says as he pulls out his hand from your shorts, making you wince out. It takes you all the strength in the world to open your eyes and look back at Seungcheol, seeing him suck on his two fingers, moaning at the way you taste.

“Cheol- this is so dirty, even for you,” you moan, fully turning around and hiding your head in his neck.

“I don’t know what you mean, sweetheart,” he chuckles as he takes a hold of your face, leaning in slowly to kiss you – it always feels like he says I love you when his lips are against yours, “Are you okay? That was a lot,” he adds, resting his forehead against yours.

“I’m fine- I just feel clammy,” you pout, your fingers playing with the hem of his shirt and it takes everything in Seungcheol to not gasp when your fingers graze against his pants. Little does he knows you are doing it on purpose.

“Want to jump in the shower?” he asks, already parting from you before you grasp at his shirt mumbling something so softly he doesn’t even hear your words, “What was that, darling? Speak up for me, please?”

“No, I- want to keep going,” you whisper, not giving him any time to answer that you’re already kissing him, smoothly trying to get the upper hand before he grabs your jaw, setting out a rhythm that pleases him.

“Don’t get ahead of yourself, beloved,” he says after breaking the kiss, letting go of your jaw, “You want me?” he whispers, his arms resting on the countertop behind you, caging you against him.

“Yes- please,” you say, looking up with doe eyes, “Need you- Need your cock,” you whimper, already grabbing at his shirt, pulling it up so he can get the clue.

“Fuck- Okay sweetheart, I’ll fuck you,” he says, grabbing at your waist, you lower back bumping against the counter, “Nice and slow, hm? Is that what you want?”

“Yeah- want you,” you whisper, kissing his neck, all the way up to his jaw, making him groan out. He gently taps at your upper thigh, wanting you up on the counter all for himself. Just like a meal.

He gently puts you down, your thighs immediately wrapping around his hips, feeling his cock pushing against your clothed pussy while you still try to get him to lose the shirt, “Get the shirt off,” you mumble, your words working just like you wanted – and even a little too well – as he takes a step back to take off his shirt and his pants – his briefs falling to the ground too, “Fuck- baby- didn’t know you were going to do a strip tease for me,” you chuckle, still not you used to the sight of your husband even after being with him for years.

“You’re so silly,” he says, coming back between your legs to kiss you, as you touch his shoulders, feeling his muscles move at the way he plays with your shirt, “Your turn,” he mumbles against your lips, pulling your shirt over your head and throwing it behind him, “Now, this needs to go,” he says as he snaps the waistband of your short against your skin making it redden before pulling it off along with your panties, “We’re so lucky we’re in the laundry room because we are about to get so dirty,” he jokes out, the mood feeling lighter than before, love taking its deserved place between you two.

“Now who’s the silly one, hm?” you chuckle, looking at him as if he holds the world in his hands – and probably some more, your words making him giggle before he works himself up again, his hand wrapping around his cock, pre-cum oozing at the tip, “You look so hot,” you whisper, your eyes transfixed on his movement and the way his cock twitches with pleasure.

“Are you ready for me, darling?” he asks, a blush on his face at the compliment, as he teases your hole with his cock, driving you more and more insane.

“Yeah- just fuck me,” you whine, your hips bucking towards him, “Like you know how to do. Only you know how to handle me.” you tell him, teasing him before he plunges into you, your walls adjusting around him, you two moaning at the pleasure to feel each other. To drown in each other.

“Baby- you feel so good- so, so good for me,” he whimpers, his hips slightly bucking towards you.

“You can move, baby,” you tell him, tapping his upper arm lightly before finding anchor on his shoulders, your hands playing with his hair at his nape. He sets a slow rhythm, trying to reach as deep as he can, his hips flush against yours, making you moan out every time he pushes back against you. You drop your head back, closing your eyes as he kisses down your chest, up to your neck and jaw. You feel him bite, suck everywhere he can reach while you can only pull at his hair, pressure building in your lower belly, your moans getting louder and louder.

“Feels good, baby? Am I handling you like you wanted me to?” he chuckles against your throat, his truths meeting your pussy harder, quicker as he chases after his own orgasm.

“Fuck- yeah, yeah, you’re the only who knows how to fuck me,” you choke out, pleasure building all the way up in your throat, feeling yourself teetering on the brink of your orgasm, “I’m so close, please, please, let me cum baby, please, Cheol,” you cry out, tears threatening to spill.

“Shit- hold it, p-please, wanna come with my wife, please,” he begs, his hips working harder to finally let go.

“Baby, fuck- Come with me, come with me,” you choke out, pulling on his hair harder, your thighs wrapping around his frame, “Fill me up, make me yours- Cum for your wife,” you moan, breaking the last thread of sanity you both were holding on, feeling Seungcheol’s cock twitch as you clutch around him, both of your orgasms washing over you, making you shudder at the strength of it all.

You slowly come back to yourself, feeling Seungcheol leave tiny kisses over your belly, your hands stroking his hair. He slowly looks up at you, his lips harboring a lovesick smile, his eyes shining with a thousand stars.

“If you were not my wife already, I’d ask you to marry me right now,” he chuckles, massaging your hips as he pulls out, his cum almost dripping on the counter top, “That was the best orgasm of my life.” He admits, adoration coming out on his features.

“You’re too silly for my own good,” you joke, slowly sitting up straighter, trying to avoid making an even bigger mess, “We really did a mess of ourselves,” you acknowledge, a smile ever still presents on your lips.

“It’s our turn to get cleaned up now,” he says lightly, picking you up bride style as you let out a little scream at the surprise of being in the air.

Seungcheol might be silly – for saying he’d marry you because you gave him a good orgasm – and much more, but you know where he is coming from. In fact, you’d marry him a hundred times more. For he takes care of you like no one ever will, for he holds your world in his hands and for he is your soulmate. (And also, for the mind-blowing orgasms).

thank you so much for reading, i hope you enjoyed! don't forget to like, reblog, comment 🫶 (and pls send all of your good energy to seungcheol so he can get up on his feet quickly!)

[duskyvision]

m. l. rio - if we were villains

Hi, it's been a while! I've been itching to write a book review because it's been over a year now, and sometimes I just have to scream about books in other places than on Discord (I still scream about books on Discord, but shh).

So why not just write a book review about a book that I did not enjoy? Haha, what a funny thing nobody has ever done before! I sure wonder what this funny guy is going to say about this book he didn't enjoy.

Anyway, this is going to be pretty long, and I'm gonna bitch about a bunch of stuff in here. Will contain spoilers.

Content warnings:

substance abuse (alcohol, drugs)

cheating

suicide

This book was my first venture into the dark academia genre/aesthetic, something I'd seen a bunch of stolen Tiktoks about on my Pinterest feed, but never paid too much attention to, mostly because I don't really care about stories centered on students. Maybe that should have been my first warning sign.

Initially, I wanted to read The Secret History by Donna Tartt because that's apparently what's seen as the dark academia staple, but I decided to stick to this because it was the only book I'd found an audiobook of on Scribd, and audiobooks are more digestible. Read a bit of the blurb and thought, "okay, sounds like it could be interesting".

Man was I wrong.

Reading the blurb, I already knew I'd have to handle pretty pretentious characters, because there's nothing more pretentious than a group of more or less wealthy white theater kids obsessed with Shakespeare (except for rich white business majors and law majors, put one of each category in a locked room and they'd maul each other within 0.5 seconds like wild beasts trying to one-up the other), but holy shit, it was worse than I'd anticipated.

The writing makes everyone and especially Oliver (the narrator) sound insufferable to the point where I wished they could simply shut up. Unfortunately, this book has slug-like pacing and bitches who love to talk on top of chapters that are padded with lines copied verbatim from Shakespeare plays because admittedly you need a very high IQ to understand the nuances and intricacies of Shakespeare plays and how it influences the characters.

And while we're still on writing: while in theory, the script-like snippets are a fun nod to how plays are formatted, it simply doesn't work in audiobook format. Really grating to hear things like "James: Cock" "Me: So true bestie" when my patience was already wearing thin the more I listened to it.

Yet, the writing wasn't the most infuriating aspect of this book to me. I think what infuriates me the most about If We Were Villains is that, ultimately, the entire book tries so hard to be deep and emotional regarding its plot and its characters when said plot is predictably boring and the characters have the depth of a single sheet of paper.

So let's talk about the plot! By the halfway point in the first part of the book, it was made obvious who would die between the main characters, but comically so. The moment Richard started acting up, I felt like the author slapped a huge sign on his head like "Watch out! He's either the bad guy or... THE VICTIM! OMG!" because there was no way Mrs Rio could come back from turning Richard into a goofy Sunday morning kids cartoon villain. And as soon as Richard died, I also predicted the twist itself, because it was so goddamn obvious it felt like it was screamed into my ears.

Now, I usually don't mind if a plotline is predictable. Actually, I enjoy it! It makes me feel smart to predict things and figure out what's happening, and it usually keeps me engaged rather than plot twists that are pulled out of the author's ass! The problem with this book, though, is that I wasn't engaged in the characters to begin with, so following them going through their problems after Richard's death just made me feel a total sense of apathy followed by "so... when are we getting to more plot?"

It focuses too much on trying to give emotional depth to characters whom, in my opinion, severely lack it to begin with. The main characters aren't interesting to me, they're just puppets with names on them at this point. They can really just be summed up into archetypes that are barely explored in a way that feels compelling:

Oliver: The average joe. Oh, look at him, he's so average and surrounded by people who are so much more interesting than him (this is a lie)!

James: The guy. I'm struggling to find anything interesting about him, besides the fact that he's Oliver's best friend and roommate. You can tell he's important because he's Oliver's roommate. I think a loaf of white bread would be more memorable as a character than him.

Richard: Probably the most interesting character in the cast, ironically, solely because he's a fish out of the water. By that, I mean that he's just a jock in the middle of theater kids. Besides that, he's laughable at best: the author tries so hard to make him devoid of anything sympathetic in the moments leading up to his death that it nullifies any emotional investment you could have in any of the characters.

Meredith: The hot girl but like not in an objectified way, in a gaslight gatekeep girlboss way (this is a lie). Richard's girlfriend. Can't catch a break because everyone and their mom objectifies and slut shames her. She usually breasts boobily, not in written script but in spirit due to how her role in the story is pretty much "piece of meat".

Alexander: The weed-smoking gay literature major stereotype, except in a special way because he objectifies Meredith too, for some reason. Diversity win! Gay man is also gross towards women!

Filippa, Wren and Colin: Filippa and Wren exist for the sole purpose of not turning this cast into a complete sausage fest (& Knuckles Meredith). Filippa is the good friend who covers everyone, and Wren is the fragile frail uwu girl. Colin exists solely to be Alexander's boyfriend.

What a totally charming cast of characters who are oh so full of depth, and completely developed throughout this book. There's also a detective guy, but I completely forgot his name because the book spent too much time on this group of pretentious theater kids whining about their interpersonal relationships.

Man, just talking about how much this book bored me is becoming a pain in the ass, so I'll just summarize what I thought about the book here:

Pretentious, flowery writing with sluggish and often jarring pacing

Characters who are equally pretentious and whose high airs desperately try to hide the innate nothing burger-ness of their existence

Extremely predictable plot that's handed to the reader on a platter by the first part, making the reading experience that much more boring when you have 0 affinity nor sympathy for any of the cast members

Final rating: 1/5 (2.29/10 on CAWPILE). I should have dropped this book when I predicted the entire plot instead of being stubborn.