#woah. jerma real

[gordonfreemansfatass]

actually rethinking my thoughts rtvs is like if jerma was a megazord and rtvs is the like individual power rangers to make up the jermazord

[fauxvoid]

KARKAT: OH MY GOD THERE’S TWO JERMAS KARKAT: WHICH ONE IS THE REAL ONE? JADE: the one on the right, dummy! KARKAT: YOUR RIGHT OR MY RIGHT JADE: what JADE: its the same video JADE: we have the same right KARKAT: NO WE DON’T. JADE: what?? KARKAT: WE ARE IN TWO DIFFERENT LOCATIONS IT IS HIGHLY IMPROBABLE WE ARE FACING THE SAME WAY. JADE: ugh fine JADE: the one with the lighter webcam JADE: hes the one holding the wii remote! KARKAT: THE OTHER JERMA IS PLAYING RESIDENT EVIL ON THE WII. JADE: but only one of them is actually holding a remote!! >:( KARKAT: THEY BOTH ARE. KARKAT: HOW DO YOU EXPECT HIM TO PLAY RESIDENT EVIL ON THE WII WITHOUT A WII REMOTE? KARKAT: SEE? LOOK. THE OTHER JERMA JUST SHOWED HIS WII REMOTE. JADE: uuuggghhhh!!!! but he didnt show it yet when i said it!!!!! KARKAT: JADE YOU KNOW VERY WELL PARADOX SPACE SUCKS TOTAL GLORBSHIT WHEN IT COMES TO TIME JADE: glorbshit isnt even a real word!! JADE: you just made it up!!!! KARKAT: YES THAT IS WHY I SAID IT. KARKAT: PARADOX SPACE COULD ADD THAT WORD TO OUR VOCABULARY AND WE WOULD PROBABLY HAVE NO IDEA. KARKAT: IT SUCKS TOTAL GLORBSHIT. DAVE: yo i heard some louder than usual shouting DAVE: what are yall talking about wait woah holy shit DAVE: two jermas DAVE: which ones real KARKAT: SEE? DAVE TOTALLY AGREES WITH ME HERE. JADE: you are insufferable!!!! >:(

[baseballb4t]

just had a jerma dream for the first time.

i was getting out from school as the sun was setting and i started walking into the nearby woods where i found my brother and when i found him, the world turned into minecraft but i still had my own body except now i was two blocks tall and so was my brother. we were mining into a mountain and i suddenly acquired the knowledge that jerma was in our world with us and he was streaming. so i was like, woah being on stream sounds like fun but i'm not gonna go look for him since he's like five hundred blocks away. my brother and i were killing random mob bosses that don't actually exist in game.

eventually it was nighttime and my brother and i found a village and we were flying around like you do in minecraft and then jerma came to our village but he didn't say anything and was instead talking to the camera that was floating with him. jerma then pointed me to a cave where there was basically a dungeon and a super big mob boss so i flew with him to go fight it. as we were flying, i tried to make conversation with him but he wouldn't talk to me. the cave led to this tall stone corridor with red carpet on the floor where there were a bunch of chests with text above them that you had to pay money for to open them, and that was when i realized jerma had found one of these chests above ground and that was why he was super good at minecraft. in my head i was thinking "i would never pay real money for stuff in a game." the corridor had a right turn so we went there and at the end of it there was the mob boss dungeon.

jerma and i flew around and the boss fight started, the boss was a humongous 2D picture of a bubblegum girl and as we were flying we would hit her. every time she was hit, the screen would get a pink haze and there would be blue explosions. she had a shocked expression on her face but it was just a 2D image turning and rotating. we killed her pretty easily and then we got some small rewards. i wanted to hang out in the corridor looking at the treasure chests and talking to jerma but he still wouldn't speak to me. he flew out of the cave before me so i ran and jumped to catch up to him. when we got to the mountain and found my brother again, i turned to look for jerma but he was gone so i woke up.

[milfyspamton]

⚠ WARNING: before you listen, this is probably very loud so just be careful, its very intentionally grating and its only worse with headphones (which are recommended !) glitches are intentional

so i edited and goofed around with a clip of jerma’s voicing of spamton uhhh im getting kinda into audio editing and i am NOT experienced so dont judge too harshly please ! i went into this knowing literally absolutely Nothing about audio editing and this was 100% trial and error.

i just really like what jerma did with spamtons lines and such i think he did a really good job its real fun

apologies with the music not being perfect i had some difficulties 

transcription under cut

[jerma985′s voice is bitcrushed to hell]

[slamming]

HEY  EVERY-RY      !! IT'S  M-ME!!!

EVERY  BODY  'S FAVORITE [[ Number 1 Rated Salesman 1997-7]]

[glitched stuttering] SP- SPAMTON !! [glitched laughter]

WOAH...

IF IT ISN’T A...

HAH!

L-IGHTNER! [glitches & garbles] HEY-HEY HE Y HEYHEY!!!

LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE [[All Alone On A LATE NIGHT]]

ALL YOUR FRIENDS, [[Abandoned you for the SLIME ]] Y-YOU ARE?

SALES, GONE DOWN THE - THE [[Drain]] [The Drain]]??

LIVING IN A GODDAMN GARBAGE CAN???

[slamming]

WELL I-I'VE [glitching] I-I GOT A [[Special Deal]] FOR

LONELY [[Hearts]]

LIKE Y-Y-Y-YOU!!

IF YOU'VE [[Lost Control Of Your- Your L-Life]]

THEN YOU JUST GOTTA GRAB IT BY THE SI-SI-[[Silly Strings]]

WHY BE THE [[Little SPONGE]] WHO HATES ITS [[$4.99]] LIFE

WHEN YOU CAN BE A-A

A [[BIG SHOT!!!]]

B-[[BIG SHOT!!!!]]

[compressed commercial clip] [[Big Shot]]

THAT'S RIGHT!! NOW'S YOUR CHANCE TO BE A-A-A [[BIG SHOT]]!!

AND I HAVE J-UST-.

THE THING.

[text to speech] You Need.

THAT'S

[[Hyperlink Blocked-]].

YOU WANT IT.

YOU [glitched stuttering and garbles]

NO-NO- YOU WANT IT-

WELL HAVE I GOT A DEAL FOR YOU!!

ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS SHOW ME.

Y-Y-YOUR [[HeartShapedObject]].

YOU'RE A L-L-LIGHTNER ARE- YOU -A LIGHTNER-?

YOU'VE GOT THE [[LIGHT.]]

WHY DO-N'T Y-YOU UH-

[glitching]

SHOW IT TO ME- SHOW IT TO ME-

[[Show it off?]]

[glitching laughter]

(this was hard to transcribe so sorry if its not totally accurate)