#yeah it's nice to finally make some friends outside school or uni or internet people lol

[crowleyaj]

there's this one single queer organisation in my city that a friend of mine recently told me about that does events and stuff and today the friend dragged me to a picnic in the park with them and we had flags and food and things to talk about and there were so many interesting people from 15yo he/theys with a weird (affectionate) gender vibe to 70yo lesbian activists who were in the centre of things in the last century and everyone in between and you just had to mention a gay tv show and 10 people were like OOOOHHHHH YEAHHHH and we had nice discussions about all sorts of issues and just vibed and then afterwards the friend and I went to get a beer with a bunch of queer women we've just met there and talked about our daddy issues and how we don't like izzy hands fangirlies and love jim jimenez and clara oswald and star trek and art and books and oh my god there are people? irl? who like the same stuff and have tumblr and ao3 and are incredibly cool and queer? and live in the same city or region and most importantly the same country? absolutely shocked my guys. I'm starting to think I should go out more often

[hotchley]

🐨 Hello hello! I’m hanging out in my study hall right now. I’ve just started reading We Were Liars by E Lockhart since I’ve heard such good things. It’s beautiful writing so far. I can’t get over the fact that one of the characters is named Gat, though. Who the heck names their child Gat??

Also, I decided to run for captain of my forensics team! I did an application and I have to give a little speech today and then the coaches interview us and ahhhhh it’s terrifying. It’s a nice distraction from my black belt test on Saturday, I suppose. Karate has literally started haunting my dreams.

I got to play guitar and sing with the band at my church last night, and that was lovely! It’s been a while since I’ve gotten to play outside of my room. It’s always amazing to have a whole band, to be part of the whole and hear the music and know that you’re making that! I was using different equipment than I’m used to—I got to adjust my monitors myself and had a belt pack. I don’t wear a belt, so I had nothing to clip the pack to 😂 But it always feels so professional and cool, like I’m a rock star or something. Probably because the worship leader always calls me a rock star, haha.

Anyway! How’s life over in England? Sometimes I forget we live in different countries. Different continents, even! I feel like you’re someone I could just see in the halls of my school. Once you know an Internet friend (or sister) well enough, you forget that they kinda live on your phone screen most of the time. Not that that takes away from the friendship, or anything! In fact, I think that makes it more special, since it’s not just convenience. You have to actively choose the friendship. Thanks for choosing me :)

I’ve been keeping up with the poetry, and some songwriting! One of the songs that means the most to me reminds me a bit of you, and the conversations we’ve had about ambition and dreams and whatnot. Here’s the chorus:

I’ve been trying to find my voice

Seems like all my life

The only thing I’ve ever made is just noise

I’ve been hoping there’s another choice

Maybe it’s some crazy dream I gotta let go

But I’d kinda like it if someday, god forbid

My voice goes out

There’s an echo

This has ended up being rather long! But hopefully it distracted you from uni stuff for a little while. Waiting on things like that is the worst, cause there’s nothing you can do at this point but wait. That’s how I felt waiting for my ACT (nationwide test that can help you get into college) scores. But the test ended up going well, and I have a feeling things will turn out for you, too. You’d make an excellent lawyer (don’t they call them something different in the UK? Barristers?)—the world needs more people like you.

I am putting my answer below the cut (I love it when I do that, long asks are great, I feel very privileged receiving them)

Hi friend!

What is study hall? Is it the same as a free period??

We Were Liars is my go-to: I'm in a reading slump and need something short to get me out of it book, so I have read it many, many times, but I still couldn't tell you all of the parents. I also quite enjoyed it, even if people do think it's stupid.

There's a prequel coming out in May! I'm very excited- I also know what my Eid present from mum and sis is (because I literally asked for it) so I can get it the day it comes out :)

Yeah... that is a random name...

Oooh that's exciting! I hope you get it- and even if you don't, it'll be a good experience and at least you tried something that sounds absolutely terrifying!

Aww that sounds like a really pleasant experience. it's always nice getting to do things like that with other people- music is meant to be shared and be done with other people because the rush of happiness it gives you is amazing

Life over here is good(ish)! Still waiting for that one uni... but they've not got very long to get back to me anymore... first exam is in a month so it's basically final push to the end now, and practicing some of the techniques I got taught in counselling which is basically CBT. I feel like a right idiot doing them sometimes, but they do seem to be helping, so! I've almost finished redrafting my novel (again) and I'm so happy with the things that have changed which is <3

And Eid and my birthday are both next week! Which is also fun! I might be getting my coursework back, which is less fun, but that's not entirely certain so I'm just ignoring it

Aww, that's very sweet. Sometimes I forget that I don't see you everyday because this is one of those things where I know no matter how busy either of us may get, you'll find something to say and I'll come up with a response- no matter how long it takes me whoops. And I like that. And I love that you chose me- it really helps with the whole challenging thoughts thing :)

I'm glad the poetry is something you want to continue! I think I've written more in the past year than I have my entire life, and I also think a lot of that is down to me getting better (mentally) and also feeling like there's a reason to create. Something I've realised is: you don't lose the part of you that makes things when you get better. It just changes. The reason I'm not creating at the moment is because of A-Levels. It was never because I stopped hurting.

Song-writing sounds great! I could never! But I love that snippet, and I'm so honoured that some of our conversations have helped you write!

Ahh, I love getting long asks, and it's been very pleasant to answer this one :)

Yeah two things I've realised are one: things seem to have a funny way of working out just fine- a whole pandemic cancelled my exams and basically ruined my life for a long time because... well we all know what happened, but it also gave me some of the best people I've ever met and meant I did a lot of things like getting back into fanfic, finishing my novel, sharing my other writing!

And two: no matter how bad the things feel in the moment, that passes, things get better and the world carries on spinning. All the worst things that I ever thought would happen, happened, and I'm still here and I'm still alive and I'm still okay! So it's just deep breaths, controlling what you can and remembering that the people that matter won't ever be disappointed <3

Umm lawyers gets used to refer to the profession as a whole- we have solicitors and barristers, with the main difference being barristers go to all the courts. There are others, but this isn't a law lesson so it's not essential.

But thank you. I think I needed to hear that. Because I have no idea what area of law I want to go into, but I do know a part of me will never be happy if I don't even try and help people- whether that's through public defence, prosecution, law reform or human rights... it's also not the priority for now lol

I love you though. Thanks for this ask <3

[chadpetersondatingblog]

Women Reveal The Exact Moment They Knew They Needed To End A Relationship

My high school boyfriend was extremely jealous. Anytime I so much as spoke to another guy, he would have a meltdown. The first couple of times it happened, I was surprised, but honestly, I was also kind of flattered. He wasn’t abusive or mean… just kind of intense about it. However, it didn’t take long for that to wear extremely thin and go from an ego boost, to annoying, to a deal breaker. It wasn’t always clear in past relationships when to end things because I didn’t know how to know when a relationship is over. But not this time.

I remember the exact moment it was over. I was talking to a classmate when I saw him out of the corner of my eye — well, actually, it was more like I felt his eyes burning into the side of my head. His face was a mixture of pain and anger, and in that moment, something in my mind just clicked. It. Was. Over. The thought of dealing with his insecurity for one more minute made my skin literally crawl.

Turns out, I’m not alone. A Reddit user asked women to tell them “about a time when you knew the EXACT moment your relationship was over,” and the answers are fascinating. The reasons why these women ended their relationships run the gamut, but one thing they all have in common is the fact that when you know, you know.

When The Little Things Were Too Much

When we went to the Science Center (my favorite place) and he refused to do any of the little activities.

– /u/rawrachie

It sounds silly, but we were ordering pizza and I wanted spinach and he wanted pepperoni, so we got two different pizzas

– /u/spooky_jookie

And The Not-So-Little Things, Too

When he thew up on me. He was a weekend alcoholic and that was the final straw.

– /u/projectile_poptart

When The Trust Was Gone

When he apologized for something I told my best friend in confidence about and realized they were discussing every detail of our relationship

– /u/aliteralprincess

I suspected that he was smoking. He lied about it. I found undeniable proof. He fessed up. Trust was gone. Relationship was lost that very moment.

– /u/junjun_pon

When he liked a picture of a girls ass on instagram. It was a girl he went to school with too.

– /u/hiylipr

When They Were Selfish AF

I'd taken my ex girlfriend on a trip to Finland just before Christmas one time. She'd always wanted to go to the Kakslauttanen resort where you can sleep in these beautiful cabins with glass domes so you can watch the Northern lights at night, and I loved her and wanted her to be happy.

She was initially quite happy about it but once we got on the bus to the resort, she was complaining nonstop about how cold it was (of course it's cold babe, it's bloody Finland in winter), then she was snide with the staff at the hotel which I cannot stand, and then she started a fight with me about the blankets the hotel had laid out for us on the couches. I was prepared to let all that slide because people have bad days sometimes but the next day, she woke up and had a fit about my not having ordered her coffee for the exact time she would be awake, and I remember I stepped outside to have a smoke and it was so cold and the sky was almost entirely pink and I was standing in snow up to my thighs and I thought, "aye, that'll be that then."

– /u/LDN_Escort

I was cooking dinner for my college bf. When he got there, I decided to surprise him by making him a nice cocktail while I finished cooking. As I'm shaking the drink, he screams, "What are you doing? Goddammit, I'm hungry!" I'm so glad that relationship is over.

– /u/manicmeli

When we were in scuba class. I had dropped my goggles down to the bottom of the pool for an excercise where you swim down to get them, put them on, and clear them. Anyways, my ex was great at it. I was having a panic attack and I was too terrified to go get my goggles. He was busy bragging and I interrupted to ask him to get my goggles for me and he ignored me. When I asked him again he shouted at me. Nope.

– /u/cl018513

He thought asking me to quit my job was a reasonable thing. For context, full time student, rent and bills to pay. I couldn't afford to. He treated my job like a burden because it wasnt time taking care of him.

– /u/Better_Bit

With true hatred in his eyes, accused me of "withholding information" because I wouldn't do his internet research for him. Lol bye.

– /u/empress_p

When They Were Abusive

When he smacked me so hard across the face I bled for the first time

– /u/BakedBride

his father terrified me. several times, he'd break in drunk and in a rage, screaming in a language i couldn't understand while hitting objects in our apartment. i just cowered and cried. bonus points, he looked like the dude who raped me as a kid.

now, my ex-husband had a looooot of fucking shit counting against him, but what actually broke the relationship was that he told me his father wanted to go out for dinner. i said i didn't want to go. he started yelling at me and i started crying, telling him that he frightened me and looked like a child rapist. he went on this huge tirade about how i was making it all up so i didn't have to do unpleasant things out of love for my husband (which i realized in that moment didn't exist). before, he claimed that he believed every word and he wanted to save me from my previous life.

i told him it was over. he flounced to his mama's house. i spent a glorious weekend cooking whatever the hell i wanted, sleeping without being lowkey sexual assaulted, and watching TV and being at peace. he was so pissed and felt so betrayed when he came back from giving me space to find i still wanted to break up.

– /u/todayonbloopers

When There Were Problems In The Bedroom

The moment I realized I couldn't remember the last time we had sex.

– /u/meliu4456

We had just finished fucking, and he said something to the extend of how it was different that time, like "taking a shit."

– /u/jintana

When They Realized They Had Fallen Out of Love

I suspected he was going to propose soon. When I thought of him proposing and me not being able to say yes. I couldn't put him through that, and at that moment I didn't think I was in love with him anymore. So I broke it off

– /u/knstbs

we were in the car on our way to to Key West, FL having a great time listening to our favorite music, talking our ears off and shmoking some weed.. just enjoying each others company. all of the sudden it hit me.; i was staring into his eyes and realized i wanted to be far away from him- it legit broke my heart into a million pieces.

– /u/terremotico

I didn't want to hold his hand on Valentine's Day

– /u/elsakate

When They Were Jealous

I live in the UK where the legal drinking age is 18 and my boyfriend at the time wouldn't let me go out because "people only go out to have sex".

He also embarrassed me at school by getting overly stressed with things so I was crying in the toilet at lunch time and tried to stop me from seeing my best friend of 15 years at the time.

Thank god I got out of that relationship, it would have ruined my uni experience if I hadn't broken up with him the suer before I went.

– /u/slothygon

I visited my hometown and happened to run into one of my friends. I sent my SO a text alone the lines of 'how lovely I just ran into my friend!', and he replied 'don't even bother coming back to me if you get with him' (there was literally zero chance of anything happening with this friend)

Then when I got home he accused me of lying (he thought I had planned to meet up with this friend and deliberately not told him for some reason) and demanded I apologise to him. I still don't know what I was supposed to be apologising for.

– /u/elsakate

And Then There’s This Monster

The moment he asked me not to get a scan to check if my cancer was in remission because he didn't want another bill.

– /u/VibrantPinwheel

Wow! Yeah, if your partner is more worried about the bottom line than your cancer, that’s a pretty big sign that it’s time to bounce.

Check out the entire Gen Why series and other videos on Facebook and the Bustle app across Apple TV, Roku, and Amazon Fire TV.

Subscribe to Elite Daily’s official newsletter, The Edge, for more stories you don’t want to miss.

Women Reveal The Exact Moment They Knew They Needed To End A Relationship

from Meet Positives http://ift.tt/2xln3LW via IFTTT

[ashleyjacksonblog]

Women Reveal The Exact Moment They Knew They Needed To End A Relationship

My high school boyfriend was extremely jealous. Anytime I so much as spoke to another guy, he would have a meltdown. The first couple of times it happened, I was surprised, but honestly, I was also kind of flattered. He wasn’t abusive or mean… just kind of intense about it. However, it didn’t take long for that to wear extremely thin and go from an ego boost, to annoying, to a deal breaker. It wasn’t always clear in past relationships when to end things because I didn’t know how to know when a relationship is over. But not this time.

I remember the exact moment it was over. I was talking to a classmate when I saw him out of the corner of my eye — well, actually, it was more like I felt his eyes burning into the side of my head. His face was a mixture of pain and anger, and in that moment, something in my mind just clicked. It. Was. Over. The thought of dealing with his insecurity for one more minute made my skin literally crawl.

Turns out, I’m not alone. A Reddit user asked women to tell them “about a time when you knew the EXACT moment your relationship was over,” and the answers are fascinating. The reasons why these women ended their relationships run the gamut, but one thing they all have in common is the fact that when you know, you know.

When The Little Things Were Too Much

When we went to the Science Center (my favorite place) and he refused to do any of the little activities.

– /u/rawrachie

It sounds silly, but we were ordering pizza and I wanted spinach and he wanted pepperoni, so we got two different pizzas

– /u/spooky_jookie

And The Not-So-Little Things, Too

When he thew up on me. He was a weekend alcoholic and that was the final straw.

– /u/projectile_poptart

When The Trust Was Gone

When he apologized for something I told my best friend in confidence about and realized they were discussing every detail of our relationship

– /u/aliteralprincess

I suspected that he was smoking. He lied about it. I found undeniable proof. He fessed up. Trust was gone. Relationship was lost that very moment.

– /u/junjun_pon

When he liked a picture of a girls ass on instagram. It was a girl he went to school with too.

– /u/hiylipr

When They Were Selfish AF

I'd taken my ex girlfriend on a trip to Finland just before Christmas one time. She'd always wanted to go to the Kakslauttanen resort where you can sleep in these beautiful cabins with glass domes so you can watch the Northern lights at night, and I loved her and wanted her to be happy.

She was initially quite happy about it but once we got on the bus to the resort, she was complaining nonstop about how cold it was (of course it's cold babe, it's bloody Finland in winter), then she was snide with the staff at the hotel which I cannot stand, and then she started a fight with me about the blankets the hotel had laid out for us on the couches. I was prepared to let all that slide because people have bad days sometimes but the next day, she woke up and had a fit about my not having ordered her coffee for the exact time she would be awake, and I remember I stepped outside to have a smoke and it was so cold and the sky was almost entirely pink and I was standing in snow up to my thighs and I thought, "aye, that'll be that then."

– /u/LDN_Escort

I was cooking dinner for my college bf. When he got there, I decided to surprise him by making him a nice cocktail while I finished cooking. As I'm shaking the drink, he screams, "What are you doing? Goddammit, I'm hungry!" I'm so glad that relationship is over.

– /u/manicmeli

When we were in scuba class. I had dropped my goggles down to the bottom of the pool for an excercise where you swim down to get them, put them on, and clear them. Anyways, my ex was great at it. I was having a panic attack and I was too terrified to go get my goggles. He was busy bragging and I interrupted to ask him to get my goggles for me and he ignored me. When I asked him again he shouted at me. Nope.

– /u/cl018513

He thought asking me to quit my job was a reasonable thing. For context, full time student, rent and bills to pay. I couldn't afford to. He treated my job like a burden because it wasnt time taking care of him.

– /u/Better_Bit

With true hatred in his eyes, accused me of "withholding information" because I wouldn't do his internet research for him. Lol bye.

– /u/empress_p

When They Were Abusive

When he smacked me so hard across the face I bled for the first time

– /u/BakedBride

his father terrified me. several times, he'd break in drunk and in a rage, screaming in a language i couldn't understand while hitting objects in our apartment. i just cowered and cried. bonus points, he looked like the dude who raped me as a kid.

now, my ex-husband had a looooot of fucking shit counting against him, but what actually broke the relationship was that he told me his father wanted to go out for dinner. i said i didn't want to go. he started yelling at me and i started crying, telling him that he frightened me and looked like a child rapist. he went on this huge tirade about how i was making it all up so i didn't have to do unpleasant things out of love for my husband (which i realized in that moment didn't exist). before, he claimed that he believed every word and he wanted to save me from my previous life.

i told him it was over. he flounced to his mama's house. i spent a glorious weekend cooking whatever the hell i wanted, sleeping without being lowkey sexual assaulted, and watching TV and being at peace. he was so pissed and felt so betrayed when he came back from giving me space to find i still wanted to break up.

– /u/todayonbloopers

When There Were Problems In The Bedroom

The moment I realized I couldn't remember the last time we had sex.

– /u/meliu4456

We had just finished fucking, and he said something to the extend of how it was different that time, like "taking a shit."

– /u/jintana

When They Realized They Had Fallen Out of Love

I suspected he was going to propose soon. When I thought of him proposing and me not being able to say yes. I couldn't put him through that, and at that moment I didn't think I was in love with him anymore. So I broke it off

– /u/knstbs

we were in the car on our way to to Key West, FL having a great time listening to our favorite music, talking our ears off and shmoking some weed.. just enjoying each others company. all of the sudden it hit me.; i was staring into his eyes and realized i wanted to be far away from him- it legit broke my heart into a million pieces.

– /u/terremotico

I didn't want to hold his hand on Valentine's Day

– /u/elsakate

When They Were Jealous

I live in the UK where the legal drinking age is 18 and my boyfriend at the time wouldn't let me go out because "people only go out to have sex".

He also embarrassed me at school by getting overly stressed with things so I was crying in the toilet at lunch time and tried to stop me from seeing my best friend of 15 years at the time.

Thank god I got out of that relationship, it would have ruined my uni experience if I hadn't broken up with him the suer before I went.

– /u/slothygon

I visited my hometown and happened to run into one of my friends. I sent my SO a text alone the lines of 'how lovely I just ran into my friend!', and he replied 'don't even bother coming back to me if you get with him' (there was literally zero chance of anything happening with this friend)

Then when I got home he accused me of lying (he thought I had planned to meet up with this friend and deliberately not told him for some reason) and demanded I apologise to him. I still don't know what I was supposed to be apologising for.

– /u/elsakate

And Then There’s This Monster

The moment he asked me not to get a scan to check if my cancer was in remission because he didn't want another bill.

– /u/VibrantPinwheel

Wow! Yeah, if your partner is more worried about the bottom line than your cancer, that’s a pretty big sign that it’s time to bounce.

Check out the entire Gen Why series and other videos on Facebook and the Bustle app across Apple TV, Roku, and Amazon Fire TV.

Subscribe to Elite Daily’s official newsletter, The Edge, for more stories you don’t want to miss.

Women Reveal The Exact Moment They Knew They Needed To End A Relationship

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