#yes its mot bazzi 'alone' inspired anymore bc it didn't fit well enough :(

[cinanamon]

we’re just friends ― ml

pairing | mark x reader

genre | angst, suggestive, bad boy!au, band!au, high school!au

word count | 11.5K

synopsis | He must not have noticed the damage he caused when he dismissed your relationship for little more than friends; it wasn’t reversible, and he was left clutching at strings. But you were no better, for you decided it wouldn’t be so bad to drag his friend into a rebound with you, that only caused further destruction and ruin on all parts. Inspired by song Friends by Chase Atlantic.

warning | drinking, smoking, fighting, suggestive, injury, cheating, cursing

The car slowly pulled into the designated parking lot and settled into a spot close to the sidewalk. Mark almost reluctantly slipped his hand from your thigh, but he nonchalantly turned off the car and stepped out. You followed in turn in the ease of quiet, and Mark spared you a quick smile before locking the car again.

“You have everything?” He questioned, waiting for you to fall into step beside him before draping his arm over your shoulder. 

You nodded, “Yeah, it’s just my bag so I can do some work before your show.” His smile became more fond and he looked like he was going to say something before his phone rang. He sighed quietly but with one look at the caller, he rolled his eyes and stepped away for a moment. 

“Sorry, it’s Hyuck,” you nodded in understanding as he took the call. You took the time to admire the venue his band booked. 

It was just a simple off the wall restaurant that would host local artists sometimes. It wasn’t the most popular, but enough people flocked in on weekends looking for somewhere to go. You had been there a few times yourself; your friends and you would come in for bar food and to flirt with the other boys that frequented the eatery. 

“Yeah, take a left and you’re right here,” You tore your eyes away from the brick building to admire Mark’s relaxed side profile. He nodded again and turned to look up the downtown street, like he was expecting someone to turn the corner at any second.

You watched as well, curious, and absently took note that Mark ended the call with a quick farewell. Almost on cue, the boy in question appeared in your line of sight, ruffled honey hair paired with an expression that morphed into one of recognition. 

“Donghyuck!” Mark called, a lazy smile—almost tense, but he brushed it off quickly—presenting itself on his face as he went to meet him halfway with a confident stride. 

“Mark!” The boy answered almost mockingly, but he laughed a little forcefully as he met Mark and they proceeded to perform a handshake. Mark patted Donghyuck on the back when they finished, and he guided them back towards you.

Donghyuck’s confidence seemed to dwindle the closer they neared you and his gaze grew slightly guarded. “Hi, Donghyuck. It’s nice to see you again.”

He cleared his throat, but he spared a glance at mark before fixing you with a bright smile. “Likewise, yeah.” 

If there was anything questionable in the exchange, Mark didn’t seem to notice or care as he turned his attention to the venue. He took the steps two at a time and waited briefly at the door to look at his two guests. “So we still have like, thirty minutes before people start coming in, so just get comfortable.” He slipped his gaze to you solely and he smiled, “Get good seats; you have first pick.” 

Mark opened the door and you two followed into the whirlwind of setting up. His bandmates and workers were hard at work moving around seating and connecting the speakers. You had barely gotten two feet before a tall man with a black undercut on the stage saw Mark and stopped adjusting his guitar in favor of jumping down and coming towards you. 

“Yo, Mark.” the man called, his voice relaxed and low.

Mark snapped his gaze to the speaker and he instantly broke into a smile. “Johnny! Man, what’s up?”

The man—Johnny—glanced over Mark’s shoulder at us before focusing again. “You’re a little late; we’re just getting the amplifiers hooked up. Oh, and your guitar is in the back.” 

Mark thanked him and Johnny nodded before moving back to the stage where two other bandmates were practicing. Mark took another sweepover of the area before looking to you and Hyuck again. “So I’m going to head back and help finish up. Do whatever you want for now, I guess.”

You nodded and smiled, placing a hand on Mark’s arm, “I’m excited; we’ll go snag a table up by the stage.” Mark always smiled so wide towards you, but he kissed your cheek swiftly before leaving. You watched him go before looking to Hyuck with a friendly smile. “Let’s go sit down.”

Donghyuck agreed oddly quiet and trailed behind you until you reached the worn green leather stools. You sat across from each other and before you could pull up your papers, you took a sneaky glance at how awkward Donghyuck looked and decided against it. 

“So,” Donghyuck’s eyes snapped up from his phone towards you, “have you never seen Mark perform?”

“Ah, no,” He shut off his phone and tried for a little laugh as he continued, “He always said he never wanted to invite us, but I annoyed him so much about it last time he gave in.”

You snorted and glanced at the stage, “That sounds like him. He’s taken me to every one.”

Donghyuck nodded, but his bottom lip jutted a bit like a pout. “Not surprised.”

Again, you felt a smirk trying to crawl across your face so you opted to glance at your phone for a second. His weird attitudes didn’t shock you because you knew that the boy before you had had a crush on you since you met Mark. You were on friendly enough terms with him to have conversations, but his nerves and barely contained excitement always gave him away. 

“Does it never bother you?” you looked up quizzically at Hyuck, who pursed his lips and snuck a glance at the stage. “Your relationship with Mark?”

The smile on your face never left, but your eyebrows furrowed in a hurt kind of confusion. “What do you mean?” 

He opened your mouth to say something else, but the door opened to the first customers of the night. The mixed group of boys and girls came in boisterously before moving towards a booth near the other side of the stage. Your conversation with Donghyuck was momentarily forgotten as you took note of the missing band as that they were probably in the back until their showtime. Donghyuck seemed more relaxed with you now, if not a little put off, and so you two kept light conversation until the room filled with too many bodies and the lights dimmed. 

You and Donghyuck eagerly faced the stage as Mark and his bandmates came on, all in eyeliner and ripped jeans. Mark smiled charmingly and took the front mic, thanking people for coming out and promising a good show. He strummed his guitar for effect before the drummer counted down and the night of music began.

———

Each song played was better than the last, and the energy in the restaurant was thrumming. Even when the show ended and the room erupted in cheer, majority of the original crowd was still crammed in the small bar. But at the end, people slowly started to mingle and file out, heading home at the prime time of midnight. 

You stretched in your seat as you waited for Mark to come back out, and Donghyuck stifled a yawn from across you; you subtly quirked a brow because you humorously thought he did so to pretend like he could last longer than he could. 

When Mark came out and helped packup the instruments, you stood to go greet him. “Hey, if you need to drop anything off, we can do that before you take me home.” Mark looked up at you like he didn’t expect to see you before he snuck a glance at Johnny across from him.

“There’s an afterparty at Jaehyun’s house if you don’t mind; I know it’s last minute.” Mark frowned at you apologetically.

 “No I don’t mind, I guess; does Hyuck know?”

He blinked like he forgot that his friend was there too; he bit his lip. “I guess he has to; he doesn’t have a ride.” Mark groaned lowly and you rolled your eyes at him. 

“Mark, he came out here to see you, come on.”

He sighed and ruffled his hair. “The only reason I invited him here was because he kept begging; I’m sure his mom would want him home anyways.” “But he wants to hang out with you. He should come.” 

Johnny finally looked up from the case and shrugged, “He can come, we don’t mind.”

Mark frowned at his hands, and it took another second without a response before your earlier conversation with Donghyuck came to mind. You narrowed your gaze in concern. “Are you not telling me something?” 

Mark’s eyes snapped up to you, and he shot you a smile you knew wasn’t genuine. “No, of course not. Tell him he can come; it’s okay.” 

You weren’t convinced, but you left him to finish his work until he was ready to get in the car.

You had extended the invite to Donghyuck who agreed in a state of shock, but now as you were about to pile in the car, you noticed his apprehension and tense shoulders when Mark arrived. As Mark went around to unlock it, you placed a reassuring yet inquisitive hand on his shoulder before you sat in the passenger seat. After a moment, Donghyuck and Mark climbed in as well.

You took a glance at Mark beside you and cleared your throat, pointedly ignoring the off vibes between the two boys. “So was Jaehyun planning this, or was this spontaneous?”

Mark flicked on the car radio before meeting your gaze out of the corner of his eye. “Uh, he had talked about it, but he only finalized it when some people asked after the show.” You nodded and looked out the window as Mark started the short ride over. Hyuck didn’t speak much from the back seat during the drive, almost hesitant on asking Mark anything or unsure of what to expect. 

Mark parked and stepped out to greet Jaehyun on the porch, but you lingered back with Hyuck, bumping him in the shoulder. “What’s up? Aren’t you the life of the party?” You joked lightly.

Donghyuck wearily looked between you and the house with loud music and voices. “Yeah but—never at one with alcohol or whatever,” he looked down like it sounded dumb. 

You nodded in understanding, “Well, you can stick with us—”

“(Y/n)! Donghyuck! Come up here.” You tried to shoot the younger boy another bright smile as you led the way up the stairs. 

On the porch, it looked like the rest of Mark’s bandmates had come out, a bit refreshed from their long show. You had met them all before, but Donghyuck’s nerves seemed to return when he reached the top of the steps. 

“This is Taeyong, Doyoung, and Jaehyun. You met Johnny earlier.” Mark nodded at his bandmates in turn, with looks to kill in handsomeness and intimidation, even if they had all greeted you as well. 

Jaehyun nodded towards you and Hyuck with a quick grin, “Your girlfriend and friend, right?”

“Ah, no, no, bro; we’re just friends.” Mark laughed lightly and shot a quick smile. 

Jaehyun raised a brow and looked back at you for clarification but you just shrugged like it was nothing, even if his wording always kind of bothered you. You felt Hyuck’s eyes burning into the side of your skull. 

Mark motioned you over before Jaehyun could say anything. “Come on, (Y/n); let’s go check out the party.” With that comment, you really didn’t want to, but it felt like you had no other option as you forced your legs to move towards him and under his arm, much like a couple would. 

You were moved forward by his arm around your shoulders, but you heard a voice behind you and looked to see Donghyuck trying to follow you two through the crowd of sweaty bodies. His eyes were alarmed as he called for Mark to wait. You placed a hand on Mark’s chest to stop him. Mark blinked when he saw Hyuck, like he registered that his younger friend was at the party with him. 

“Uh, hey just don’t touch any alcohol, don’t talk to anyone you don’t know—”

“Mark!” Another of his friend’s appeared with a wide grin—Yuta, if you remembered correctly—and he wrapped his arms around you and Mark, separating you two and effectively cutting off Donghyuck. “You won’t believe the drinks we have tonight.” 

“Yuta, wait,” you and Mark tried to stop him and look back but the crowd had closed in and swept Hyuck away. You searched for him in dismay before Yuta had both of you in the kitchen and was pressing glasses of unknown alcohol into your hands. 

Mark looked at you helplessly before forcing a grin towards Yuta and downing whatever he had chosen for you for the night. Before you could question him or yourself, you followed suit and quickly gagged. “God, that’s strong; what was that?” 

Yuta smiled at you like a shark. “Vodka.” 

“Straight vodka?” Mark heaved and pressed a hand to his throat. “Is that even safe?”

Yuta shrugged and grabbed another glass, heading out into the living room, “It gets you drunk faster.” 

And you could see what he meant because you were already starting to feel its effects, your thoughts already a little scattered. You tried to shake your head as Mark found two bottles of beer to sip on. You nodded towards him and slipped your arm in his as you searched for seating. You found space beside a couple making out, but at that point, you really couldn’t care; you just wanted to sit down. 

Mark closed his eyes for a moment before taking a swig of his beverage. By now your feelings and thoughts were getting fuzzy, and the only thing your mind seemed to care about was Mark beside you as you curled into his side, placing your head on his shoulder and pressing a chaste kiss to his collarbone. 

Mark glanced down at you and cleared his throat, a little embarrassed. “You’re too close.”

You scoffed and laid another kiss in the hollow of his neck before reluctantly pulling away to speak, “When have you ever cared that I’m too close?”

“We’re in public.” 

“Everyone’s drunk.” Mark blushed but didn’t say anything, just took another slow sip of his drink. You pouted at him in his silence before absentmindedly wrapping your arms around his shoulders to play with the brunette hair at the nape of his neck. “We aren’t just friends, are we?”

Mark sputtered and toyed with his bottle cap, attempting to look you in the eyes but unable to hold your gaze. “Why are you asking?”

You shrugged like you had no real reason, but then you gently placed a hand on his farthest cheek, coaxing him to face you before taking in his strong gaze and then his parted lips. “Because friends don’t do this.” And you moved forward to press your lips to his. 

It escalated quickly; maybe because of the alcohol, maybe not. It was just your lips attached, held by your words prior until you cupped his face, and it was like wood added to a fire. You mirrored the couple beside you unconsciously; him pulling you into his lap and holding your hips firmly, him biting your bottom lip in his attempt to tempt you into deepening the kiss. It worked, seeing as you giggled into the kiss and tilted your head, pulling his hair back to tease him backwards. His eyes fluttered open as he stifled a groan and his eyes narrowed; in retaliation, he began to kiss at your neck and nudge your collar down. In that moment, you both knew things were getting too hot. You yanked Mark’s hair again lightly as he left your neck long enough for you to stand and pull him back up towards your frame. Reluctantly, you both separated to find somewhere private in your haze. 

Mark tugged you down a secluded hall; a bathroom to the left and, through the crack in the door, a bedroom. Mark drew you towards him again so you’re chest to chest before he spun you around, the wall harshly flat against your back. Mark zoned in on your lips again; your lip-locking became more and more feverish, more and more desperate. He pressed his body to yours and when he disconnected for air, his arms circled your waist securely and his lips tickled your jaw. 

Pants escaped from between your puffy lips as your eyes traced the ceiling; Mark switched places with you so you were leaning into him. You dropped your head to kiss him again, and Mark couldn’t find good footing as he kept stumbling back along the wall until he suddenly froze. He prodded you away from him, detaching your lips with an embarrassingly wet sound until you were at arms length. You furrowed your brows, trying to focus long enough to ask him why he ended it, but he was just shaking his head, panting. 

“We’re just friends,” he managed after a moment, unable to look at you or catch his breath. 

You stood there gaping at him, the words sinking in but not making sense. “I’m sorry?”

“You—you asked and—I’m saying that—” he kept shaking his head, wringing his hands and eyes darting between the ceiling and floor; obviously overcome by anxiety and panicked confusion. “We’ve never been a thing: we've always been friends. Haven’t we?” 

You felt anger spike in your being, hot and overwhelming. “We’ve always been a thing without the title, Mark. We kiss! We got out! We fucking act like we’re a thing and now you really want to say none of that matters to you?” 

Mark ran his hands through his hair, something akin to a groan leaving his mouth. “I never thought about it, okay, I’m sorry—I thought we were on the same page, wanted the same thing—“ 

“Then what the hell did you want? What the hell did you expect?” 

“I don’t know, I don’t know; I’m sorry!” Mark’s voice raised in volume as he abruptly turned back to you, helplessness in his eyes and distraught clear in his expression. He squeezed his eyes shut as he forced out his next words, “I thought we were just friends who acted romantically when we needed it.” 

You felt so dumb. So completely and utterly dumb. You were embarrassed, hurt and angry, and you’re sure it showed because Mark winced hard and dropped his gaze. “Look I’m—I’m sorry—“

“Stop apologizing. Just go.” Leave me alone. The resentment rung in your hoarse voice and Mark paused, biting his lip, before giving you your space and turning on his heel, disappearing into the crowd. 

It took a few seconds before you hiccuped an angry sob and you glared at the wall as you furiously wiped at the oncoming tears, a headache already forming. You were so upset with yourself, with Mark, with what you thought was a relationship for the past year. You could still taste him on your lips and you were starting to feel sick. You sniffled and swallowed back any more crying before heading back into the throng on people. 

You didn’t know your plan. You didn’t have a fucking plan. You didn’t understand how all of that had just transpired, it replaying in your head to help you figure out the trigger, figure out what you did wrong and whether you’d even really want to change it. Were you looking for Mark? Were you looking for an escape? 

“(Y/n)! Where’d you go—oh my God, what happened?” You felt two hands grip your shoulders and you followed them up to the face of Donghyuck. You hated yourself for forgetting he was here; you hated yourself for bringing him here; you hated yourself for coming here. 

You shook your head and wiped at your eyes again; you didn’t want the younger boy to see how weak you were to be crying for God’s sake. He called your name again, concern evident in his voice as he tried to comfortingly rub your arms. But it was white noise as you looked up and met Mark’s gaze by the door.

His jacket was in his arms, like he was preparing to put it on and head out. His eyes were locked on your form and swarming with different emotions; you didn’t know if he was regretful or as much of an oblivious, reckless mess as he was when he left you. It didn’t matter. You were hurt and anger bubbled up in you again.

Before anything could be done, Mark hastily looked away—ashamed, either my himself or you—and he was out the door, possibly out of your life for a long while. 

You felt another hiccup lodge itself in your throat and you know you needed something to overcome the thought of Mark. 

And that’s why you ignored Hyuck’s question in favor of cupping his face and kissing him. He let out a muffled gasp of shock and you knew his eyes had to be open, so you shut yours more tightly until he finally relaxed a little for his lips to move against yours. You felt more tears wallow in your eyes and when you pulled away, Donghyuck didn’t ask any questions—whether because he was too shocked, knew about Mark, or just thought it was the alcohol, you didn’t know nor cared to ask—he just embraced you in a hug until you calmed down. By then the party wasn’t fun for either of you, so Donghyuck walked you home in your drunken stupor.

Before he left he might have confessed to you but you weren’t sure, nor did you truly care about his feelings in the aftermath; maybe you just wanted to be as selfish as Mark.

———

You knew getting drunk on a school night was a bad idea, but recently you’ve made a lot of bad ideas. You dragged your hands down your face after your first class (that you quite honestly didn’t understand one word of) and made your way to your next class. Usually you’d walk with Mark; god, how you missed his jokes right now—your eyes snapped up when you caught a glimpse of tousled honey hair and a black graphic tee: Donghyuck. 

You instinctively called out his name and his head turned your way in the busy hallway. He didn’t move, seeing as he was by his locker, but he awkwardly waited for you to make your way over. 

“Hey, um, about last night—“ you scratched at your temple and the mere thought of telling Hyuck that the miss meant nothing made you feel as shitty as Mark left you. “The kiss, I uh,”

Donghyuck had still not moved, waiting with a sudden baited breath for your words, tense and hoping yet waiting for disappointment. It made your skin itch.

You scrunched your eyes shut. “I’m sure you know about Mark; so I got really caught up in the moment and I kissed you as a rebound, and I’m—I’m sorry, I guess I’m trying to say.”

You didn’t dare to open your eyes as the silence stretched on, and you were prepared to turn away, sure Donghyuck would hate you for playing with his feelings— “I still can be.” 

Your eyes snapped open and locked with his. Before you could question him, he rushed to continue, his hand slipping from his lock. “Like—I mean, I never liked how Mark treated you—your relationship—so if you need a rebound, I don’t mind being…” he huffed and collected his thoughts, his gaze almost shy, “If you need a rebound for yourself or show, I can be it.” 

You stared at him in disbelief. Here you were, looking like a hungover mess with an old hoodie, and him looking like a punk angel; you felt like this wasn’t how things were supposed to go. You were supposed to apologize after falsely raising his hopes and he’d never talk to you again, and yet he was offering himself selflessly for your own selfish gain. Something in the back of your head screamed to decline, to let him go and get over you and not get caught up in your mess, but, god, his offer was too good to pass up, not when you were this broken by Mark; he was giving you a green light to be selfish and wring him dry. 

You looked into his eyes for another second. “You’re sure about this?” 

“Positively,” And he breathed the words like he didn’t think you’d accept. You gave a curt nod to yourself but after a second's hesitation, you went up on your toes and brushed your lips against his cheek. 

“Alright,” you practically whispered as you walked past him, down the hallway and ignoring his wide eyes following your steps. “Boyfriend.” 

———

From then on, your relationship seemed a whirlwind of over the top displays. You couldn’t let him go, really; your friendship morphed into one almost fully consumed by a need for physical contact. Sometimes you’d feel guilty, thinking that he was only okay with this because he actually liked you. But those thoughts would soon be washed away when Donghyuck would laugh and meld his lips to yours, and you’d let your desires to be wanted take over. 

It was a month later that Donghyuck invited you out with his friends. You had froze; won’t Mark be there? You had asked. Donghyuck tried to feign nonchalance, we can just show him what he’s missing. And you secretly enjoyed the tingle that shot down your spine at making Mark jealous as you leaned forward to reward him with a kiss. 

“So they know I’m coming, right?” You questioned again once Donghyuck pulled in in front of the restaurant. 

He nodded as he unbuckled. “Yeah; I told Renjun and he planned it so that’s all who needs to know. No one will mind, I promise.” Except maybe Mark. 

You sighed again and stepped out, tugging down your skirt for good measure before closing the door behind you and walking onto the sidewalk. Donghyuck hooked an arm around your waist, but it was sharply reminiscent of Mark so you tensed and sped up your pace to open the door and walk in before your new boyfriend could hold it open for you. 

Donghyuck cleared his throat from behind you, so you let him pass you to lead you to the table the boys were at; a table for eight nestled near a window and bordered by chairs and booths alike. 

You’re prepared to head to the chair at the far end before you see the person seated across from it. Mark was sitting in the booth and fiddling with his phone but you took note how he still looked as good as ever; it made your heart constrict. Had your ‘break up’ not affected him as it affected you? Did he not miss you? You tried to push down your longing in hopes of feeling confident and making him miss you. 

Donghyuck passed you and moved to the seat beside the one you were eyeing earlier; you steadied your breath and made sure the rest of the table was preoccupied before you strode over to slip into the sea beside him. The sudden motion must have caught Mark off guard, for his eyes lifted and they widened when they saw you. You ignored his surprise in favor of turning Hyuck’s face toward you and planting a kiss smack on his lips. He wasn’t expecting it but he took it smoother than he had the first time; his eyes took his Mark’s reaction with a silent confidence before sliding closed as he kissed back with the same vigor. 

You bit at his lip lightly before pulling away, tilting your head in Mark’s direction so your bruising lips were on full view, even as Donghyuck continued to mouth at your jaw. “Sorry, I didn’t realize we were being obvious.” 

Mark didn’t visibly react except for a slight twitch in his jaw; his countenance was stone cold as his gaze flickered between you and Donghyuck. You hoped it was jealousy and not anger; doubt trickled into the pit of your stomach before you felt a hand land on your thigh. You stiffened before glancing to see that it was Donghyuck; he massaged your leg for a moment before entwining your fingers and turning to talk to the other boys at the table, gaining their attention at your end. You kept your eyes and smile on their conversations to avoid Mark’s searing, all-knowing gaze because anything would be better than breaking in front of him. Even if the only hand you wanted to be holding was Mark’s, you squeezed Hyuck’s hand until your knuckles turned white. 

Sometime during the dinner, your hands had made their way onto the table as you ate and laughter rung, yet the person in front of you had yet to crack a smile once, a tense gloom shrouding them and making it hard for you to enjoy your night too. To ignore your ‘ex’ and unconsciously feed your need to make him even more jealous, you laid your head on Donghyuck’s shoulder and overall enjoyed his warmth. Wherever you and Hyuck touched, Mark’s eyes followed. 

Mark finally tore his attention away long enough to cross his arms and lean towards Jaemin beside him, “Why is she here?”

Jaemin had obviously sensed Mark’s unhappiness and glanced between you and Hyuck with an unsure shrug. “They’re dating; he asked if he could bring her.” 

If possible, the aura around Mark grew even darker and his eyes narrowed and voice grew lower. “Even with my past with her?” 

Jaemin shrugged again helplessly. “I guess so, I don’t know—“ Mark pulled out his wallet abruptly and pulled out a twenty before throwing it on the table.

“I’m heading out; there’s my money for my meal. Knock yourselves out with what’s left.” 

“You’re leaving already?” Renjun questioned at the front of the table, genuinely concerned. 

You could tell Mark was trying to hold back a scoff and keep an even tone. “Yeah, I have places to be.” 

He stepped out from behind the booth and before he passed you, he leaned down subtly and his breath brushed past the shell of your ear. “Don’t play this game.” A shiver ran down your spine as he straightened and continued on.

“What did he say to you?” Donghyuck questioned you with furrowed brows; somehow his arm had found its way behind your chair. 

“I-I didn’t quite catch it.” You lied, turning your head to catch a glimpse of Mark steeling you with a strong gaze before he was out the door, and the painful deja vu of the party hit you hard as you roughly faced forward again. “We should probably go too,” you mumbled, letting go of his hand. Hyuck noticed and presses his tongue into the inside of his mouth before going for a bright smile as he said farewell as well. 

The cold air greeted you and you were almost happy for a change from the stuffiness of the restaurant, or maybe just the stuffiness of being caught between Mark and Donghyuck. 

“It’s...nice,” you glanced at Hyuck for elaboration. He swallowed and swung your hands. “Taking you out. Having conversations.” Your throat went dry. You were dating, right. You couldn’t just use him for kisses and as a pawn for your past lover. 

You tried for a smile. “Me too; it’s always fun going out with you.”

Hyuck read your eyes before he hesitated and went for a smirk, “Mark seemed really pissed off too.” 

You laughed lightly and grinned, but it  didn’t reach your eyes, “That’s always a plus.” 

You could tell Hyuck was searching for something to say even as you climbed into the car. You felt a sudden wave of pity and shame and maybe it wasn’t a good combination, but you knew you had to at least attempt to treat him better. You leaned forward and kissed his cheek, but you let your lips linger. 

“You’re too good for me.” 

Donghyuck froze beside you and looked at you with an unreadable gaze. He bit his tongue as he searched your eyes, seemingly conflicted before he went in to give you a chaste, lasting kiss back. “You only deserve the best.” 

And you smiled, but you couldn’t disagree more. 

———

A sweet laugh escaped from between your lips at a joke of Renjun’s about his latest piercing. You and Hyuck were on your way to your last class before you had run into the boy, and you managed to spare a few minutes to converse. 

After your exchange with Donghyuck the night before, you told yourself you’d at least attempt to maintain the relationship and treat it as you should; he knew he was a rebound, but you couldn’t just dismiss his feelings, right? He was doing this for you, after all.

You leaned farther into his side and held his hand that laid on your opposing shoulder. You hummed at their conversation, but let your eyes wander. You took in how many teens were still out; you maybe had another minute or two before the bell rung, and your classroom was only down the hall.

Except as your eyes glided over the lockers lining the wall, they connected with a pair of sharp, brown ones: Mark’s. He was poised by the next door over, a textbook open in hand like he’d been reviewing material before going in; funny, seeing as you couldn’t remember the last time he cared about his grades since freshman year. 

He was glaring at you, or, rather, Hyuck’s arm around you. You remembered his words to you in the restaurant and a surge of confidence ran through you. You quirked a brow at him and smirked, tightening your grip on Hyuck’s hand and leaning your head farther onto his shoulder. 

As expected, Mark barely reacted; his unamused countenance not shifting as he slammed his book shut and ducked under his classroom door. 

You felt a nostalgic tug on your heart to think that he used to be so expressive; you couldn’t so much as touch his hand without him blushing and stuttering. You tore your gaze away from where he disappeared to face your boyfriend and his friend again. You studied his face; did he care that he was betraying his best friend like this? 

You absently traced his knuckles with the tip of you finger and he glanced at you, sending you a warm smile. Before you could say something you could potentially regret, the bell rung. Your eyes widened and you swore, pulling away from the two boys as you tried to hurry to your classroom door before the teacher could scold you. Donghyuck laughed a little behind you, and you managed to send him a playful glare before he was out of view. 

As you stepped into the room and found your seat without getting in trouble, you couldn’t help the fondness you felt for Hyuck. He was a good guy; a good friend, a good boyfriend. And yet, you were not either. And you were afraid you were changing him for the worse. 

—

After your class, you had to go to your club. It would go on for another hour after school ended, but you still needed to finish your part. All of your club members dwindled until the last said goodbye and had to leave. By the time you were heading out, it was getting dark out. You sighed and shouldered your bag, preparing for the walk home. 

You had barely left the front doors and went down the steps until a silhouette appeared by the lower column. You took an alarmed step back, but they began to take shape until you rolled your eyes at who it was. 

“You know it’s pretty weird to wait outside a school after hours.” You drawled, your voice loud in the otherwise quiet dusk. Mark perked up and turned his head to see you descend the staircase. 

“We have to talk.”

You scoffed, “You need to get a life.” 

Mark’s brows furrowed, and for a split second you were afraid you hurt him, but his face smoothed out soon after. 

He sighed and pushed up from the column so he could stand upright and meet you by the railing. “Look, I know I hurt you at the party—“ 

“You’re bringing this up now?” You tried to feign annoyance but you’re sure your voice shook slightly. 

Mark sighed a little haughtily but nodded. “Yes, I am because this was our issue but now you’re dragging Donghyuck into this.” 

You narrowed your gaze to ignore the unease in your bones. “He was willing, thank you very much.” 

“You’re trying to make me jealous! I’m not blind.” Emotion flashed across his face and he groaned lightly, balling his fists and smooshing then into his coat pockets as he looked away from you. It went quiet and you hesitated.

“Are you?”

Mark looked back at you and you saw him wet his lips. “Yeah, I am.” 

You weren’t sure if that made you feel better or worse. You both just stared at each other, vulnerable yet apprehensive, watching the other only a few steps away as if it were a mile.

“You—“ Mark pulled a hand out of his pocket to place it over his mouth as he tried to gather his thoughts. “I miss you.”

He watched you for a response, a grimace already forming like he was prepared to be shot down. When you didn’t and continued to gaze at him with unreadable eyes and a hand poised precariously on the handrail, he continued. 

“I messed up; I admit it. I wasn’t clear or sympathetic, and I take responsibility,” for once. He licked his lips again, a nervous tick, and he ran a hand through his hair. “And if you’re willing, I’d like to try again; the right way this time.” 

Your mouth parted. He couldn’t be serious. Your feelings jumbled together and you weren’t sure if you wanted to run up and kiss him or slap him. 

Your silence made him shift uncomfortably, his eyebrows drawing in and he cleared his throat. “Isn’t that what you wanted too? I mean, all you have to do is tell Hyuck to drop the act, I’m sure he’d be fine with it—“ he cut himself off and stared at you, and that’s when you realized you were crying.

You slowly brought a hand up to wipe at the shed tears. “I—“ your gentle hand on your cheek turned rough, and you swiped so the skin was left red in its wake. “I can’t. I’m—Hyuck—it’s not an act.” 

Mark didn’t answer you, just gazed at your dark figure perched on the stairs. “You’re—you’re telling me you're dating my best friend?”

You shut your eyes in shame. “We had the agreement that it was to make you jealous, but it’s still—we’re still dating.” You wanted to fight him, call him out on him and Hyuck not being on the best of footing anyways, but you couldn’t find the will or words. 

Mark held a hand over his mouth again and another on his hip as he turned away from you for a moment. When he finally faced you again, all endearment for you had left his eyes. “You really just let him do this?” Before you could respond in your defense, he rattled on. “You knew he liked you, and now you used that to hurt me? To hurt him?” 

“I don’t want to hurt him!” You raised your voice, “I never wanted to hurt him, but whatever happened—it’s become more than I expected.” 

“More than you want too, right?” Mark narrowed his gaze and you winced. 

“At least he’s there for me,” You weakly threw back, “don’t act like you’re any better.” 

“I never said I was,” Mark frowned, his hands falling back to his side as he began to walk away from the school. “but at least I know better than to purposefully use someone.”

Damn him for hurting you yet always being moral. You watched him walk away from you and you bit your lip. “I know you still like me!”

He paused and looked over his shoulder at you, his eyes steely calm in the storm. “And I know you still like me, but look where that’s gotten us.” He trained his gaze on you for a second longer, to drive his point home, before he turned on his heel and his form grew smaller and smaller.

You finally found the strength to take the last step from the staircase once he was out of sight. You took a deep breath to try and calm your frazzled nerves and beating heart, yet you were sure it would take hours before you could calm from the incident. You gripped the railing for some kind of hold before mustering the will to finally walk home. 

Because after that, you needed something to cling to more than you ever did. 

———

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” You weakly called to Donghyuck as you eyed Jeno’s house. 

“Yeah, why wouldn’t it be?” He answered, sending you a glance. He squeezed your hand. “It’s just a house party. And Mark will be there.” 

You shut your eyes and groaned inwardly. “That’s just what I was afraid of,” you mumbled, smiling at your boyfriend when he looked back in question for what you said.

It had been a few weeks since your encounter with the brunette, and truly, you weren’t sure if you wanted to see him. It would only stir up the feelings you had been trying to repress. And it’s not like Hyuck was really trying to push him towards you anymore; he had settled into the supposed relationship with you and you felt too terrible to attempt and leave him, afraid it would hurt him like Mark said. 

You bit the inside of your cheek as Donghyuck knocked on the door and it swung open to reveal Jeno’s smile. His eyes scanned you both before greeting you and letting you in. With a polite smile in thanks, you moved past him and checked out the room.

It was just in his living room for their group of friends; Jeno, Jaemin, Renjun, Donghyuck, and, tragically, Mark. Jeno had decided against inviting his girlfriend, and apparently Jisung was supposed to come and bring along a new friend of his, but they had to cancel at the last minute. Good thing, probably, seeing how majority of the boys weren’t good influences to begin with. 

Jaemin with his drinking and smoking problems, Renjun with his little tattoo and piercing parlor, Jeno with his old fighting bets, and Mark with his band and, well, relationship with you. Jisung really shouldn’t have even gotten involved with them; the worst he’s done is steal a candy bar from the grocery store, if you had to guess. Donghyuck was rather normal, if you thought about it; he would play pranks but was a rather average kid. Maybe that’s why you didn’t want to ruin him yourself. 

All of the mentioned boys were sat on the large sofa against the wall, or majority, since you heard some clanking in the kitchen. Before Donghyuck and Jeno could take you to the loveseat, you heard the voices in the kitchen grow louder and you turned your head to see Jaemin and Mark with a few beer bottles in hand. You straightened subconsciously and detangled your fingers from between Donghyuck’s as your eyes met Mark’s.

You hadn’t talked since your interaction outside of the school building, and the mere sight of him had your breath hitching in your throat. He had paused in his conversation and his eyes bore into yours, taking in your appearance. His eyes traveled between you and Hyuck before he started up his words again, brushing past you intentionally as they made their way to sit with their friends. 

You had to shake your head to manage some sense of normalcy and react to Donghyuck’s raised brow. 

You tried to smile brightly at him, “Would you like to go sit down?” 

His eyes subtly looked towards Mark before settling back on you. His expression was blank and you felt an incoming dread at the thought of him finding out that you’re not over Mark, but then he grinned back. “Sure.” 

You wearily took his arm and moved to the loveseat; you instantly made eye contact with Mark again, almost challenging in the way of him showing he’s not over you either. He frowned and faced away, his arm coming up to bring the bottle to his lips. 

Once Jeno was sat down as well, conversations began to flow. There was no rhyme or reason and multiple voices spoke over each other at the same time. It was almost a nice white noise to get you out of your thoughts and away from the obligation to Hyuck or the feelings for Mark. Everyone grew progressively louder and more boisterous as the amount of alcohol consumed increased, and it reached its peak as Jaemin raised a hand.

“Okay, okay, what about we play a game?” Jaemin smiled a lopsided, mischievous grin.

“What game?” Jeno hiccuped, his brows furrowing.

Jaemin took a minute to respond, almost like he was thinking as he fiddled with an empty beer bottle. He then placed it on the ground and spun it, watching it make its rounds. Then he smiled, that devious look in his eyes. “Spin the bottle.” 

Donghyuck shook his head, slowly but promptly. “(Y/n)’s the only girl; I’m not going to make her kiss all of you.” 

Jaemin shook his head, “it’s not just her; we could all kiss or if we want, it could be like a truth or dare type of thing. Like kiss, or do something else—hopefully even more undesirable, but you get the point. Are we game?” 

No one really responded until Renjun sighed and rubbed at his eye. “I’m gonna regret this, but let’s do it; why not.” But then he pointed at Jaemin with a scowl. “If you dare me to lick a toilet seat or something, I swear—“ 

“No promises, but I’ll start.” Jaemin laughed a little drunkenly as he took a strong go at the bottle. It spun widely and slowed till it settled on Renjun. His jaw dropped and he glared at Jaemin, who was smiling a little too wide. 

“Don’t you dare—“    

“I dare you to go lick the toilet seat.” 

“I will end you.” 

“Would you rather kiss me?”

“God, no.”

“Then get a move on.” 

Renjun’s gaze could have burned Jaemin alive where he sat before he disappeared down the hall. Jeno winced and followed him to make sure he completed the dare before coming back to take a long swig of his beer. 

“You’re terrible,” he directed his grimace towards Jaemin who only shrugged.

“He agreed to play.” 

Renjun came back around the corner and he was vigorously wiping at his tongue. “I hope you know I will get you back for that.”

“I’m looking forward to it.” Renjun hit Jaemin on the back of the head before sitting back down. Jaemin rubbed at the afflicted area nonchalantly. “Who’s next?” 

And so it went down the line; it went between a few of the boys like a battle and then the bottle would land on another every once in a while. You only had to do one dare of sending a pickup line to a random number and you were pretty content. You had then dared Jeno to drink a weird combination of beers, and he challenged Mark to balance a bottle on his finger for ten seconds. After he completed his dare, he spun the bottle leisurely, obviously not too enthused. At least, he wasn’t until the beer bottle slowed on you.

You sucked in a deep breath as Mark froze and met your gaze. “So, kiss or dare?” Jaemin teased. Jeno elbowed the boy in warning, bu Jaemin was too far gone to care. They all knew your history. 

Mark hesitated but didn’t look away from you. “Kiss.” He was tense, but his voice had a firmness to it. 

Donghyuck stiffened beside you. You nervously looked at him to see his narrowed gaze and deep frown. “Do you really think you should?”

Mark met his gaze, uncertainty but a want swirling in his own. Before he could open his mouth to defend himself or withdraw his choice, Jaemin shook his head. 

Chill, dude; it’s just a kiss.” Donghyuck met Jaemin’s gaze with a frown, but he looked around the room at everyone’s reactions before he unhappily silenced himself. 

With no other complaints, Mark apprehensively crawled over so there was only a little bit of space between you, where your air mingled. “Are you okay with this?” His voice was hushed; intimate, yet nervous.

“Yes,” you noticed how sharply Hyuck’s eyes turned to you. You tried to only focus on the boy in front of you. “It’s only a kiss.” 

Mark’s and Hyuck’s eyes burned into you until yours and the formers closed, his hands caressing your jaw as your lips grazed each other. 

“Okay, that’s enough.” Your eyes fluttered open to witness Donghyuck pulling on Mark’s collar. Mark’s eyes widened but he gulped, shaking his head. 

“Our lips barely touched, Hyuck.” Hyuck’s brows drew in as he looked to you for support, but you couldn’t even find it in yourself to try and see him side.

“That wasn’t a kiss,” You agreed, and you favored Mark’s skittish smile instead of Donghyuck’s glare; this was the only way you two could kiss without it being wrong. 

Your boyfriend let your ex go reluctantly, a diffident grimace crossing his face as he did so. Mark awkwardly settled back down in front of you, ghosting his hands over the back of your head before he gained the nerve to kiss you again. He held it; chaste, yet romantic—as best it could be, with all his friends staring, anyways. He parted from your lips but only by a hair; you both kept your eyes closed as you savored the moment, and his lips absently conjoined with yours again.

The second kiss lasted less than a moment before he was ripped apart from you by Donghyuck. You shot open your eyes with a gasp as you watched in shock as your kind, funny boyfriend pulled Mark away and to the ground, his eyes hard and frown firm.

All earlier signs of the fun party were gone as Jeno, Renjun, and Jaemin started to shout and try to separate the two boys. Hyuck was on top of Mark, threatening things that you couldn’t quite catch over the other boys. He  threw punches that the latter wasn’t expecting and managed to block. Mark’s lip was busted, but then his gaze hardened and he got a grip on Hyuck’s shirt. They rolled, and everyone scrambled to get out of the way, realizing their pulling on the boy’s’ clothes to be futile. 

They tumbled along the ground and Mark came out on top. Mark’s hold tightened as he stopped the rolling abruptly; he lifted the younger boy slightly to throw him back down, to knock the wind out of him, maybe to get him to calm down—

The sound of glass shattering ripped through like violent moment like lightning. Mark’s face morphed into one of shock and he stared in horror at Hyuck’s expression of pain, his eyes shut tight and breath coming out in shallow pants. It was like time had stopped as everyone stared in horror at the terrible scene.

But then time was thrown into fast forward as everyone tried to speak over each other, clambering to get closer to the injured boy. You weren’t able to move; everything happened so quickly and then here you were, watching the world tumble down. Mark was pushed off of Hyuck roughly by Jaemin, who had sobered up rather quickly to care for his friend. He glared at Mark before aiding Renjun in trying to help Hyuck sit up, so he was off of the glass pressing into and impaling his back; Jeno was across the room, talking hurriedly into the phone that you presumed to be 911. 

Mark was like you; unable to comprehend the situation nor recognize that he was the reason one of his closest friends was hurt. He opened and closed his mouth before his eyes found yours and he looked to you pleadingly, to understand that he didn’t mean for anything bad to happen; Hyuck’s howl of pain tore through you both and you dropped your gaze as your eyes watered. 

It was deja vu; Mark scrambles in a daze to pick up his jacket and move to the door, gazing upon you and the scene before him in shame because he had once again pained someone dear to him. He must have assumed his presence would not be appreciated there any longer so with one final look, he slammed the door like he had months before. 

———

You gently placed a hand on Hyuck’s shoulder as he started up the steps to the school building. 

“Are you okay?” You hesitantly asked, peering over your hand at his face. 

He craned his neck towards you and tried for a smile, but it was more similar to a grimace. “I’m fine; just a couple cuts, right?”

You sighed and came around to walk beside him, a steadying hand on his forearm. “Yeah, from glass that cut into your back,” you rolled your eyes, but squeezed his arm out of anxiousness. He paused briefly and glanced at your own side profile before squeezing your hand back. 

You and Hyuck hadn’t dared whisper Mark’s name or talk of your kiss of the party two nights prior. You and his friends had taken him to the hospital (since the ambulance was too much money), and had him in the emergency room at three in the morning. Thankfully, the glass hadn’t  injured him too severely like any organs, but it did hurt. Though his friends might have argued that the bill hurt their wallets more. 

And yet, you still felt like you and Donghyuck were walking a very thin wire; like you were tiptoeing over the glass that cut him when you were around each other. You knew he wasn’t blind; he had to have seen how you and Mark acted and yet he still hadn’t said anything about breaking up—you almost tripped when you thought of being accused of cheating. Because no, you were never supposed to be in a real relationship to begin with. And yet, how were you supposed to end things now? How did it get so muddled to begin with?

You began to wonder why Donghyuck would ever want to be with you in the first place.

            “Yo, how’s your back? Actually, are you both okay? You look kinda pale.” You were snapped out of your thoughts at Jeno’s appearance, his eyes furrowed in concern and hands on his backpack straps. 

“Uh,” you snuck a glance at Donghyuck and his distant expression before opting for a smile, “I’m okay. Just worried!” You forced out a laugh and winced at Donghyuck’s minuscule wince. You hurried to speak again, “his back’s doing okay; we changed the bandages this morning and it looks like whatever meds they used are working.” 

Jeno nodded but his gaze was fixed on Donghyuck’s. He managed to tear his gaze away in time to meet yours, but he had that same confounded helplessness in his eyes. He tried for a comforting grin, “Well that’s good. I hope it heals soon, man.” He fistbumped Donghyuck lazily before moving past you. 

You sighed quietly and coaxed your boyfriend to move forward with you; you had taken it upon yourself to make sure he got to his classes and take care of his wounds, since you felt like you were responsible for it. You were sure Donghyuck thought that too.

Not many people knew of Donghyuck’s injury, but apparently news was spreading seeing as how some teens were beginning to stare. You scowled to yourself and instantly guessed the blame was to be put on Jaemin and his need for the top gossip. 

Yet it wasn’t only random people staring; as you wearily looked about the hall, you made eye contact with the one person you really didn’t want to see. 

Mark’s gaze was trained on you and Hyuck like a hawk, his bottom lip sucked between his teeth and looking like he was about to head your way. You had only a second to take in his appearance before a random girl came up to you and the honey-haired boy beside you. 

“Hey! So I heard you fell on glass? How’d that happen?” Mark froze in his steps towards you. She was obviously excited to hear the details and it almost made you want to push her to the side and pull Donghyuck along. You would’ve too, if Hyuck didn’t perk up a little.

“Oh,” you felt yourself starting to feel sick. Was the truth really about to come out? “I just fell; nothing special.” And Hyuck laughed. 

“Oh,” the girl deflated and you looked at him in shock. You almost felt worse that Donghyuck chose to defend Mark instead of ratting him out; you wanted him to be mad at Mark, to be mad at you. It’d make it easier.

Mark must have felt the same way as you glanced back at him; his bottom lip had escaped to fit into a slack jaw, his eyes wide. His eyes met yours and his gaze grew into something darker, pained and stifled as he turned away down the other corridor, whatever he had planned to say to you out the window. 

It wasn’t until after school when you were leaving with Donghyuck that Mark made his reappearance. His expression was more determined, though a little unsure, as he stopped before you in the courtyard. 

“Donghyuck—“ he started, his feet moving in time to cut off the boy in question. Donghyuck didn’t seem enthused; his usual friendly disposition switched for something cold. “Hey, please give me a moment.” 

You warily watched the scene unfold; Hyuck finally stood still and his hand in yours went slack as his brows furrowed in dislike. “What.” 

Mark flinched but quickly recovered, “I hope you know I didn’t mean to hurt you—is your back okay?” 

He pursed his lips before replying, “yes, it’s okay.” 

“And about what happened at the party—the kiss, the fight—“

“I’m not talking about this with you.”

Donghyuck ducked around Mark and pulled you in tow. Mark followed him in disbelief. “Hyuck, we need to. That’s where the problem is—“ 

“What did I tell you about calling me Hyuck?” He turned abruptly with a dull fire in his eyes, and you bumped into his back in surprise. Mark gazed upon him in a vulnerable kind of puzzlement and exasperation. Hyuck gestured at him crossly, “and no, I’m not talking about this with her here. I’m not talking to you about it. The problem is not with the party, it’s with you.” Hyuck glared at him fiercely before drawing you along again.

You felt like you could’ve done something in that moment, as you looked between the two in disbelief. Hyuck, angry, and Mark, hurt, and yet you couldn’t bring yourself to stand up for either. Surely you could’ve broken away and said something for yourself, but what would you have done? So instead you chose to walk with your boyfriend, but unable to break through his stony exterior; you couldn’t place where everything went wrong.

———

Days passed. Hyuck smiled at you less and less, at least, less genuinely. And maybe you should’ve been happy; maybe he was finally getting over you and realizing how terrible of a person you were. And yet it only made you feel worse to know that even he could think so. You had all withdrawn into yourselves, choosing to be with your thoughts than with each other, yet neither were the most inviting places.

And so you decided to walk to school early on your own that morning instead of with Donghyuck; you bitterly thought that maybe he’d enjoy the time away from you—it’s not like he needed you much more seeing that his back was almost fully healed. You had sent him a quick text of your whereabouts though, in case he so happened to want to come early to be with you, but you highly doubted it. You almost hoped he’d break up with you soon just to ease your nerves. 

The colder air of the incoming winter nipped at your skin but was a welcome distraction from the turmoil in your heart and head. You dug your hands deeper into your hoodie pockets as you ascended the school steps; the lights were on, but no students mingled in the halls. 

You lifted a hand to pull open the door before you caught a glimpse of a person by the column at the top of the stairs. You kept your hand on the door but sighed mock-exasperatedly, “We have to stop meeting like this.” You pointedly turned your head to face Mark, who had nervously come out of the shadows. 

“I didn’t know how else to talk to you privately without hurting Hyuck.” 

“You didn’t seem to care when you kissed me.”

“Neither did you,” He bit, but there was no menace in his tone; only a flat tone of ruefulness. You lowered your gaze but stepped away from the door’s light and more into the shadows. He watched you with a dull want, “but that’s what we need to talk about.” 

“I’m sure,” you breathed, running a hand through your hair, “What are we supposed to do?” 

Mark shrugged, “I tried to talk to him; you were there. He won’t listen to me, so much as talk to me.”

“So what? Am I just supposed to break up with him? Do it like taking off a band aid?”

“No, but—ugh, I don’t know how else to do it,” He exhaled slowly and absently let his hand come up to twirl your hair; you didn’t find it in you to push him away. “I don’t want to hurt him anymore than I already have.”

“Do you think I do?” You scoffed with a humorless laugh but your voice lowered in tone, “but I think we’ve hurt him beyond what he can handle anyways.” 

Mark looked up to meet your gaze somberly, “I’m afraid you’re right.” He hesitated before his gaze subconsciously dropped to your mouth. You could see him struggle to lift it back to your eyes, knowing that if he were to kiss you now, it would solidify a promise a heartbreak. 

But it’s not like it could be delayed any longer. “I’ll talk to him today,” you apprehensively brushed your hand over his, “I think he knows anyway; I wouldn’t be surprised if he wanted to break up with me already.” You forced the words out bitterly and Mark took notice, a sympathetic, sad smile gracing his lips for but a moment.

You stared at one another you before you both hesitated and slowly moved forward to slip your lips into place. It couldn’t have lasted very long; it was simple and short, just something to help you both through the decision you had made until you heard the displaced rocks crunch on the cement landing behind you.

You broke away, prepared to talk down to some random classmate before you made horrified eye contact with Donghyuck. He was bundled up in a sweatshirt you always teased that you liked and in his hand was his phone, open to the text you sent with your whereabouts. You shut your eyes in regretful defeat, his blank expression haunting as it engraved itself in your mind. 

“I should have expected this; my girlfriend with my best friend.” You opened your eyes to see his growing glower. Mark was wide-eyed beside you; you knew he was moral no matter how bad of things he’s done, so this had to tear him up inside. 

“Obviously I didn’t do my job as a rebound if you still went back to him,” Hyuck glared, “I wasn’t a good enough boyfriend if you didn’t want to be with me.”

“It wasn’t that—“ you tried to explain, your voice pleading. His expression grew more and more angered. 

“How is it not?” He hissed, arms crossed as his gaze traveled between you and Mark, a dull agony beginning to show in his eyes. “I’m not going to lie, I had hoped that maybe, just maybe I could make you like me. But Mark here was such a terrible person to you and yet you’re still in love with him. How can I compare when I’m constantly outshone?” 

“Donghyuck, that’s not it—“ Mark tries to cut in this time, a grimace taking over his expression. 

“Stop telling me I’m wrong when I know.” And you wished he would scream at you, point fingers, curse you out but he was bottling up his rage and hurt, poking out here and there but waiting to burst at the seams. “I’m still fucking in love with you, but you don’t see shit.” 

You had to look away from him, pressing your lips together. “I’m sorry I dragged you into this.” 

“I blame Mark.” Mark’s eyes widened as he looked helplessly at Hyuck, blinded by his pain. “If he treated you right, I wouldn’t have been with you. If he had stayed away, we might’ve been okay. Mark is the reason for this, and for that I’ll never forgive him. Because my best friend is the one kissing my girlfriend.” 

“Donghyuck, you can’t place all the blame on him, I’m guilty of cheating too.” You tried to reason, as much as you didn’t want to hurt him further, you knew it had to be said. And now that it was out in the open—that you were a cheater, a type of person you’d always despised—you couldn’t hate yourself more.

He shook his head vehemently, “But it’s Mark who—“

You shut your eyes in anguish, but your tone was firm. “I’m sorry I couldn’t feel the same way about you.” 

Donghyuck stumbled back a step, his anger subsiding but an overlooming expression like he was lost and close to his breaking point took its place. “You,” he retracted his hand and took a shaky breath, but his voice was unforgiving, “you said I was too good for you.”

You pressed a hand to your mouth to keep your composure as your eyes watered from shame. “You are.” 

He shuffled his feet as he let the words sink in. You were telling him that even though he was the best thing for you, you didn’t want him, or he wasn’t enough for you. And that had to be the last straw to break what was holding him together. 

His breathing picked up and his eyes found no place safe to rest. Mark put a hand out, trying to pull him back in, to comfort him but with one step forward, Donghyuck took one step back until he finally focused a watery, yet hardening gaze on you as he threw open the front door and went through. 

You and Mark made no move to go after him.

———

“Has he answered you?” 

“No. You?”

“Not once,” you sighed and placed down your phone, where eight unanswered calls to Donghyuck lay to taunt you. You were sure Mark had even more.

“Are you sure he hasn’t blocked us?” You questioned with a wince, and Mark only spared you a moment's glance as he began typing away at his screen again.

“My phone doesn’t say anything; until it does, I’m going to keep texting him.” You looked over at his phone and the blue stream of unread texts on his part. It’s been days.

You blankly looked at the rest of his band mates setting up to play their gig; it didn’t quite seem real. “I’ve heard he’s starting to drink with Jaemin.” Mark paused and bit at his lip but didn’t say anything. “We’ve ruined him, haven’t we?”

He closed his eyes and took in your distant tone. You knew he thought he was the sole one to blame, but you were even worse if that was possible. You looked back at him with your unreadable eyes. “We’re terrible people.” 

Mark finally turned off his phone and stared ahead at his untouched guitar before his attention made its way to you. He wet his lips. 

“We are.”

But we are together.