#youth group was... rough. it just was. I can't say a whole lot but it just was really really rough

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

please pray for me and others, it's been an incredibly emotionally trying day

[drdemonprince]

I think I remember you saying you were writing something for autistic adults having trouble meeting people? Actually I just remember the ask you got about someone who found a lot of social spaces being for youths. I have a similar problem. I've lived in the same city my whole life, but I don't have friends here because I don't know how to keep in touch with people after the situation we had in common (school, job) ended. And currently I'm unemployed, so I don't have coworkers, and I'm suffering a lot from the lack of a social context. There are some kind-of-niche social events I can go to, trans brunch once a month, queer board game nights every friday (and I don't even like board games). But even once I'm there I struggle to reach out and talk to anyone. For the former event, most people go with friends, so I assume I'm imposing if I make more than very brief small talk. For the latter one, we do often end up a group of polite strangers sitting around talking about random stuff, but I find I don't care about the interaction and I just want to go home. I have friends online that I'd rather spend time with, but it also feels so miserable when I don't have anyone to just grab coffee with. I tried tinder briefly, but I can't stand chatting with strangers, I react to it like an obligation and just ghost them. I'm not curious enough about strangers. I don't want to make friends, I want to already have them. It's rough.

The good thing here is you have 100% already articulated what the root of the problem here is: you're not taking an interest in any of the people you're spending time with, and the people you are meeting are not interesting to you.

People like us when they can feel that we like them, care about them, and find them interesting. People want to spend more time with people who make them feel heard, and who have genuine enthusiasm for their existence. The people you're meeting are almost certainly picking up on your lack of curiosity about them, and your sense that spending time with them is some grueling obligation, and so nothing deeper is taking root.

The solution is to have a genuine interest and curiosity for people. If you can't access that, you won't be able to make new friends. Having close friends that you can meet with for coffee at the drop of the hat isn't a status you can simply arrive at, it's a relationship dynamic that you build, painstakingly, interaction by interaction, invite by invite, one open-hearted, presence conversation after another. And you won't now who will become a lifelong, cherished friend to you if you don't start by trying to find what's worthy of cherishing within other people first.

Now, you mentioned that some of the social groups you take part in aren't even all that interesting to you -- and that's certainly part of the issue. If you don't like board games, you're not going to have fun at board game night, you're not going to like talking about board games, and you're going to feel a palpable disconnect between yourself and all the people who are present because they really like board games. You can either try to find something about the activity interesting, and really put your mind to learning about it and taking an active interest in it, for the sake of your own enrichment, or you should stop going, because there's no reason to drag yourself to regular obligation you don't like and aren't putting any investment in.

I would recommend that you find other social gatherings in town that line up more with your interests. Meetups, book clubs, volunteer shifts, video gaming leagues, sports teams, community theater, whatever it might be. This article has more advice about how to find new social groups and to make friends there:

But I'd also encourage you to practice being curious about the great diversity of humanity. There are so many wonderful subcultures out there to learn more about, so many creative and industrious practices to be awed by and to learn about, and so many funny, bizarre people out there worth making a study of. Even if you don't get along with the vast majority of humans or don't want most of them within your close social circle, you should, I think, be able to find something worth learning about in within nearly every human community, and within every person.

I firmly believe that the purpose of life is to grow, experience new things, and learn -- and if you're seeking new friends, you do want your world to be a bit larger than it is, right? So why not try to enjoy learning more about the broader social world? That doesn't mean committing to a regular hobby that bores you to tears (I hate tabletop games, for instance), but it does mean dipping your toe into new waters with some genuine receptiveness to it (I tried tabletop games for the hell of it, learned I didn't playing them, but now I do love hearing about my friends' campaigns).

I wasn't a furry when I first started going to Furfest; I just thought it was interesting and I was awe-struck by the dedication and creativity of people practicing the craft of making fursuits and drawing anthro art. The passion of that community was addictive, and the joy and friendliness of the space opened me up, and within a matter of two convention visits, Midwest Furfest had become one of the absolute social highlights of my entire annual calendar.

I've also gone to a lot of anime conventions, and they didn't grab me quite the same way, but I still sat in on some panels where I learned new things, and I still met people who were lovely and got to take in a bunch of beautiful cosplays. I've tried out all kinds of things, from betting on horse races to performing in sketch comedy troupes to attending naked yoga, and I didn't love or feel good about all of it -- but every single one of those things was worth trying out, because it helped me make contact with a broader spread of the human experience and learn a bit more about myself and other people. it broadened my knowledge base and expanded my social skills -- even if yes, i did absolutely sit in on some conversations that bored me to absolute tears.

If you don't have the energy to be curious about new things and new people at this stage of your life, anon, that is completely fine. When I was in the throes of deep masking and Autistic burnout I didn't always have it in me to make polite small talk or to endure overstimulating new situations. It's difficult to be open when one is traumatized or overwhelmed, and so if you find you really cannot feel anything for any people that you meet right now, working on soothing that internal vigilance and treating that trauma might be the first step. Even trauma recovery requires making contact with other traumatized people, listening to their stories, and being able to recognize yourself within them to some extent, tho.

There are periods of life that are for growth and there are periods that are for dormancy. If you don't have it in you to make new friends right now, that's fine. However, if you do want to have new friends in your life, you do have to be able to like people and care about them.

[booburry]

Still feeling trapped between the duality that is Sam Coe - Smutty Headcanon 2/??

Things I find myself considering when making this list:

He claims that he is wanting to be a better person for Cora, and although he had 12 (almost 13) years to get to where we see him in the game, I truly think he lived a life that is an absolute mirror of what we see now.

How fine his ass looks in his jeans 🍑

He said the bruise was worth it

Spoilers, 18+ (obvi)

Let's talk dirty, shall we? Cause it's 1am, I can't sleep, and I have Sam Coe's dick on my mind

Sam engages in dirty talk and has a vocabulary that ranges from soft and supportive to down right degrading.

He will happily use whatever range his partner is comfortable with.

He loves it when he is scolded for how much of a 'bad boy' he has been.

Outside of being in the act, he will frequently find moments to walk past you and whisper something dirty he wishes to do with or to you, accompanied by a smug wink or smirk as he walks away.

He will also crack as many jokes and say wise ass comments between positions or in those transitional moments in sex. Relentlessly.

He does not kink shame and is open to trying new things.

He would never outright admit it but he loves it when you take control, wear nothing but his cowboy hat and slowly ride him (immediately going to write this prompt into my fic or random one-shot because 🥵🫠)

He will make relentless jokes about his 'cockpit' and occasionally you would fuck in his (or yours) cockpit.

Sam definitely has a high tolerance for pain.

I also think, with the right partner he would enjoy being bound.

When in control he, without a doubt, wants to tie his partner up, blindfold and more.

He loves it when you grab his ass and even, if the mood is right, he enjoys a medium to hard smack.

Best believe he will slam you up against whatever object he is moving you two to next.

When/if having to make a preference, I think he would enjoy rough & intense sex the most.

But then again he is a total softy and would enjoy a slow, romantic evening of heavy petting and slow fucking - so I don't know!!

Do you understand how this man perplexes and intrigues me to no end??? Of course you do, you've made it this far.

Pillow talk is his second favorite part, especially when you tell him all the amazing ways he made you feel good.

His first favorite part is worshipping your body and warming you up either by your command or his.

If his choice/if he is in control, he will tease you and edge you until you are squirming and begging him to allow you to cum.

There are days where he will just want you to sit on his face until he's done with you.

The man wants at least 40 minutes with you (only covering round one of...???)

You also know he has a high as fuck sex drive. On the daily when you both are traveling alone.

When you two start becoming more hot and heavy, if not already fully resolved, he would have Lillian step up on parental duty for the added reason of having extended periods of alone time with you.

He tried Zero-G sex once and isn't keen on it unless it's something you really want (I hear him describing his experience as 'a whole lot of fun while...you know, but you just end up with fluids everywhere. Try cleaning that up on a ship.)

100% he enjoys being pegged and would ask for it in the applicable partnership.

If you have the option of putting your body weight on him or an object (ex: riding him on a bed), he will always insist you use him.

Time in Neon City in his youth = Orgies, Group Sex & more Orgies.

In a MMF setting, he would prefer to be the middle (prior to Cora as I think he would truly seek a monogamous relationship with anyone after she was born and he split with Lillian.)

Hope some varying level of the above thoughts align with your headcanon!

🤠

[socialchange2022]

Interview With Tyler

This is an interview with my brother's life-long best friend, Tyler. He struggled with homelessness and addiction for several years following high school. Last time we talked he actually mentioned he didn't feel like people ask people who have experienced homelessness what the root cause and solutions are, and that he would like the opportunity to share his two cents. The perfect candidate!

"I think I think one of the things that mainly causes youth. Homelessness is a bad home life, and one of the main problems with the system as it is, especially with people that I've run into and talked to. Is that a lot of the um fucking fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, or even like as young as thirteen-year-olds that are out there on the street, they are forced like if they get picked up by the cops. The cops take them back to that bad environment, and so CPS does not function correctly in that capacity. And so it really comes down to like the whole foster care issue, and how that system needs a complete rework of how it functions as a whole. So, I think one of the main contributors to youth homelessness is that people get taken from a bad situation, and they get put in an equally as bad situation like group housing. I had lots of friends who were put into the group housing where they were molested, and fucking attacked on a daily, and I was lucky enough that I never had that um so like. My situation is kind of weird because I ran away when I was just on the cusp of eighteen.

I would say for minors I think that would be one of the main contributors. There's hopelessness. There's nothing for them to look forward to, in any way, shape, or form, except on the streets. They can't do anything about it until they're eighteen, and emancipation required like the requirements for emancipation, are extremely stringent.

As far as like, for my reasons. Uh, I was running from a, and not so great situation. But it wasn't like, you know. I was getting beat every day and fucking Molested, or any of that shit. It just was a really rough situation with constant, uh, you know, like we would get kicked out, we would be out on the streets anyways, and then we come back, and just kind of back and forth all over the place."

"To come back to the essence of the question. Um, I think my experience was unique, just because I didn't take advantage of anything that was offered to me, and not like there was even that much offered to me as uh, most support is offered to pregnant women, and women in general. Um like. When I was talking about getting housing when I went into arches, but you know that was back in Salem. I was just another straight-white male of working age and fitness. Also, I didn't use resources because I was raised in a way that was you. Take care of yourself. You don't make. You're not a beggar. You go out and you work. And my type of work at that point was selling drugs."

"Why are people continuing to go out on the streets? I mean. Look at the world we have today. Look at the way information is, I mean, you can't trust the news. You can't trust what people say. Everybody is so far removed from the fact that we're all brothers of humanity or sisters of humanity, that we are all just people, and the fact is that, fucking like growing up when I was really young, you could still be friends with someone who likes the opposite party. You know what I'm saying, I, as far as politics go there. There were people who would be friends. It didn't matter like it was. It was hey? You know we have different points of view. But now things are so divided."

" And the general state of the economy also gives very little reason for someone to even try. Why would I try to get myself into a situation where I'm going to have to fight every step of the way. Anyways, I'm going to have to struggle and strive just to stay alive? It’s also a thing of you have no responsibility when you are on the street. You have no one to report to. You have nothing to do. There’s no responsibility, and it’s pure freedom.

It’s one of the reasons that I stayed out there so long, is that its pure freedom."

"And I really do believe it's also a deep seeded societal issue of we're raising, or not even raising people, because so many parents that I know, and that their children that I've met, they weren't raised at all. They just lived until they suddenly turned eighteen, or even before then, and decided to just do what they were going to do. They were never raised. They were never taught how to live a good life, or have a good mindset about life, and I think that's also where my situation chain is different is that I was taught how to have a good mindset and some very excellent people." "I had the chance to be in a real family, and where people genuinely cared about my well-being, even if I didn't recognize that time. And even if life was hard at the time uh now, as I'm older, I realized that these people genuinely gave a fuck.

There are so many people whose parents don't Who would give them math at eleven, ten, fucking years old, you know." "I met somebody who's Mom shot them up for the first time at twelve years old, and yeah, and it wasn't even really their decision because they're still children. It's parental decisions fucking them over."

"And you and I, and other kids, of course, We're stuck with parental decisions until we're old enough to get out, and it's kind of when you decide that you're old enough to get out when you decide that. All right. I'm grown. I'm a grown-ass fool, but how can they be?"

"This kind of leads to a lot of these fourteen-year-olds and second, thirteen-year-olds going out on the streets; also because they're growing up to make my own decisions. Their parents can't make the decisions, you know they're hurting me. They're causing me to be in bad situations. And so I will be in my own situation, where I have the control, even if it kills me."

[keepcalmandcarriefischer]

I went to my doctor because my mental health is just absolutely shit rn and he told me I needed to go out and join social groups and such. Except now I can't because of the coronavirus shit and I don't know what to do because I'm already going crazy since I've been isolated for around a year now already

I have so many things I want to say to you so I am going to call down and try to get them out one by one:

First of all, I am SO PROUD of you for getting on this. Your willingness and desire to get your brain back in shape and take control of your life is legitimately inspiring.

Second, it has been a rough couple of years for folks trying to deal with anxiety and depression. Everywhere we look everyone is trying to sell us something else to be anxious and/or depressed about. At sone point you have to just see the patterns and go "oh, ok. People with power are jerks who want to keep power. They are mad at the other people in power for trying to change things and now we should all be mad about it and also scared cuz its gunna kill us all!" And next week will be different powerful people upset about something else the same way. Look, in not saying pull all the way back until you only care about yourself, but understand that you can't and shouldn't try to empathise with the burdens of the whole world.

That being said, while times are tough, working on your heath is hard but not impossible. You got this.

Third: take a breath. It is awesome that you want to get out there and it SUCKS that right now you can't. But soon enough we will all be back outside again. You gotta have a little patients right now is all. Hey, now is a great time to do some research and see what kind of clubs there are in your area! By the time things start happening again, you will have a long list of stuff to go check out.

(What am I on now? 4? Fourthly? Or is it better to just say "also" at this point in a list? Anyways....) If you want some human interaction right away, most churches are limiting their stuff, but they won't shut there doors if ever there is an option not too. A lot of good churches have loads of small groups that meet for all kinds of stuff. Breakfast get togethers. Movie clubs. Youth groups. Team sports. You name it. Churches are involved in a LOT more activities than people would think. Go find yourself an AG or Evangelical church and talk to the pastor. If your are not a religious person, feel free to tell them that. Explain that you just need to be around cool people. I guarantee they will understand and be happy to help.

Good job and good luck. Let me know how you are doing from time to time, okay?

[mrwineguy-blog]

Whether you think you can or you think you can't, either way you're right. — Henry Ford

Hello everyone,

My name is Michael Gallagher and I live in Boynton Beach, FL. I’m 34 years old and have an amazing wife Jennifer, as well as two furry doggies Maci and Rusty. We can refer to them as kiddies! I didn’t grow up in FL but I feel like I’ve spent most of my life here…most of my life being my journey that is. I grew up in Southern IL in a little town called Metropolis. My high school graduation class consisted of 144 students. I hear that’s a good size auditorium class in most parts of the country. Needless to say there isn’t a whole lot going on in my “home away from home.”

On my mom’s side of the family I grew up on our family farm and spent a majority of my early life helping my grandfather and uncle’s with the traditional farming, bush-hogging, throwing bails of hay, even building and constructing grain bins. You name it, I was always available to lend a hand. Now I’m going to tell you, I have a lot of respect for my family and what they have done over the years. My grandfather is a well respected man and has definitely earned a name for himself. My two uncle’s knew right away this was what they wanted to do and worked toward the family business early on. There’s not a weak or selfish bone in any of their body’s and that’s why I love and respect them like I do. I’m saying this because as noble as it may have been, I knew in my heart that I wasn’t meant to become a farmer. I just felt like there was more out there for me and at the time I may or may not have realized it but I did know one thing, I knew one day I was going to make it big, bigger than anyone in my town could have ever imagined!

On my dad’s side of the family my grandfather owned a burial service company. Basically they would prepare burial vaults and upkeep the cemetery from mowing, to any type of maintenance you could think of. My grandfather had about 5 or 6 men that worked for him so as much as I would have helped, there wasn’t a whole lot of room for me to get involved, although I did lend a hand from time to time. My father was actually one of the men who worked for my grandfather. We lived next door to the business so it wasn’t anything to see me running around “the building” during the day when everyone was at work. I was between the ages of 8-14 during this time so if there was mischief to get into, I probably wasn’t hard to find. I’ll never forget one day I knocked over a 5 gallon bucket of motor oil and it pooled out everywhere in one of the work areas. My grandfather found out and told me I wasn’t allowed in the building again until I was 50. He wasn’t serious of course but then again I wonder how much he was joking. Occasionally he would see me running around the property in general and remind me of my ban, as well as tell me that my stepmom Marilyn was calling me, insinuating I should probably run off or go back home. My nickname was Mick growing up so I can’t tell you how many times I heard the words, “Mick, I think Marilyn is calling you!” No matter if he was around the corner or within an earshot he made sure to get the point across every time. I never truly disappointed my grandfather but I always wondered if he knew how much I loved him.

You see, this side of the family wasn’t like my experience with the other side. I always felt like I was working a lot harder to gain recognition for anything I did. My parents divorced when I was 4 and as far back as I can remember my father wasn’t exactly the best role model in the world. He had a bad reputation, especially coming from a small town perspective so from the beginning I had an uphill battle, which I was ok with. For some reason I felt better knowing I had something to prove, something to show everyone that ever wanted to doubt me. Now it’s easy for me to just throw all the “blame” on things such as my father for example, but I can’t sit here and profess to be someone I am, even someone I’m trying to become if all I do is point the finger. My father may have had a bad reputation and he may not have been there for me like I needed growing up, but that doesn’t mean I should be judgmental toward him as a result. He’s my father and I wasn’t perfect growing up either. It was my responsibility to be the best person that I could be regardless if he was present like I needed or not.

I’ll never forget I was really good at basketball growing up. I averaged around 20 points a game, 5-10 boards, a handful of assists and rarely fouled out. I managed myself well in the game and everyone knew how good I was. I always asked my dad to come to my games, which he very rarely did, but one night in particular he actually showed up to one of my home games in the 8th grade. It’s funny because he chose to sit eye level right behind the goal, almost like another challenge for me to succeed being under constant supervision…aside from the fact that I had a game to play. Completely nervous and terrified I knew what I needed to do so I played my heart out. At the end of the game we won and I had 28 points on the night, I wanna say 8 assists as well. I was now set on showing my dad every game how much he had missed out and just how good I truly was. That was the last game my dad ever came to. I look back on this now and even though he never came to another game I still loved him just the same. It would have been easier for me though if he showed a little compassion every once in a while but regardless, it was still my responsibility to love him and appreciate him. I’m sure he didn’t truly want to let me down, so why should I be so quick to cast him away like I probably “should have.”

My mother on the other hand was my primary source of survival. She always tried her hardest and never missed an opportunity to let me know how much she cared for and loved me. Growing up may have been rough and lonely at times but it was absolutely what has molded me into the person I am today. No road is ever perfect in life and I think the ones that are the most bumpy truly define ones character much more than the others.

In my senior year of high school I knew I needed to do something with my life. My grades weren’t anything special, (out of 144 students, I graduated 72 in my class…consider that.) At the time, I didn’t know what I wanted to do but after hearing a Navy recruiter talk to a few of my classmates one day I was convinced I was going to join the Navy. Nine months prior to graduating high school I signed delayed-entry paperwork and readied myself to leave my home town and “Let the journey begin.” This wasn’t a hard decision because like I said, there wasn’t a whole lot going on in my town. I never partied in high school, never experimented with drugs, hardly dated, all I did with my leisure time was spend it with my fellow church friends at our southern baptist church. We were an active youth group and part of a great church family. We went on ski trips, mission trips, bible studies galore, just about everything you could imagine. We were active and that was good because it kept us out of trouble. I really grew a lot within that youth group and I’ll never forget the impact they made on my life!

Joining the Navy in 2001 was where I truly grew up. I was stationed in Jacksonville, FL and started to learn real quick that the world can be a hard and cruel place. This was where I finally knew what it meant to make it, to survive without anyone there to catch me if I fell. The Navy was a time in my life, a decision that I’ll never regret. Even though the Navy gave me the tools I needed to survive and be the man that I’ve become today, I knew it wasn’t what I truly wanted to do to become successful.

In 2008 in Jacksonville, I met my beautiful wife Jennifer on the beach. The weather was perfect and the beach was packed that day. A couple friends and I were throwing a football around when I noticed Jennifer and her sister sitting up toward the entrance to the beach. I told my one friend to get his 2 year old daughter Danica and have her go over to those “girls” and throw the football down at them, just so I could make the move. Well luckily, it all panned out and I’m here today proudly calling that woman my wife! At that time I had an instant goal and I knew I was willing to do whatever I had to do to obtain it.

Jennifer and I would date for approximately 2 and a half years and eventually got engaged for a year and a half before we married. I asked Jen to be my wife at our favorite restaurant Sambuca in Nashville, TN where we lived. Her sister Michelle was in town celebrating her birthday so at dinner I had a very important task at hand. I needed to manage a way to surprise Jen with my proposal as well as surprise Michelle with a birthday dinner, all on the same night and same place, while conspiring with both parties. Fortunately everything worked out flawlessly and by the end of the evening I was up on a stage in front of hundreds of people asking the woman of my dreams to marry me.

Nashville is where I discovered that I had a passion for wine. It wasn’t much at first but it was intriguing to say the least. I didn’t realize it but this passion would end up becoming my calling. It started when I was working at a local bistro restaurant in Franklin, TN. One day in our PDR (Private Dining Room) we were doing training on bottle service, specifically bottle presentation and wine etiquette at the table. I had no idea anyone could even order a bottle of wine at the table, let alone there was some formality to it. Here I was working at this bistro for over a month and I thought, if someone orders wine from me I’ll probably have to crawl in a hole after it’s all said and done. Fortunately I studied hard and often, asked tons of questions and formulated methods to doing the best presentation I could possibly master. Nobody ordered any wine from me around that time which may or may not have been a blessing although there was more money to be made when more money was spent. Along with that came knowing the wines, knowing where they came from, knowing the history of the grapes and the winemakers, knowing what foods to pair what wines with, so on and so forth. I had only scratched the scratch of the surface and didn’t even realize it, but it didn’t matter to me. Wine in general was starting to become very intriguing to me and I wanted to know more!

Eventually Jennifer and I decided to move to South FL and start fresh. We realized we had nothing holding us to TN and were still relatively young, so why stay in TN if we didn’t have to. Fortunately we didn’t have a plan, and I say fortunately because we knew we had a vision and a goal to be something great and when you have dreams and goals, as well as a strong person by your side who is the same way, you can have, be, and do anything you want! Funny thing because Jennifer’s first job once we settled in FL was selling wine. I took my previous restaurant work and focused on picking up where I left off in TN. I received a couple decent jobs but nothing that stuck so I eventually found another job at a much more substantial restaurant. The actual property had a 5 start hotel attached to it and the owners own some of the countries most popular wine labels in the business. I didn’t realize it at the time but I had just upgraded my pretty good job in TN to something much more accomplished. This would mean more knowledge of wine and more opportunities to grow in something I only had a grasp of. When I interviewed for the server position in the restaurant, the manager asked me a few questions about wine, some of which I knew very well. One question I didn’t know the answer to was, “name the 5 grape varietals found in a Bordeaux.” I may have known 3. This alone can squash you of any opportunity in this business because you have to know certain things to be hired. This manager saw something in me and hired me anyway. He knew there was something about me worth keeping.

I would eventually work in this restaurant for 2 and a half years at a very successful rate and during this time, as much as I loved wine, I did not love waiting tables. I appreciated what waiting tables brought to me as far as the knowledge, my regulars and/or connections, money obviously, but I knew I didn’t want to be a server for the rest of my life. I started looking into the medical program and more specifically becoming a Firefighter. It was somewhat relatable to my Navy days with the structure and comradery easily comparable.

In January of 2014 I left my job at the restaurant to focus on my state exam for EMT, as well as focus on enrollment in the Firefighter program. I knew it was important to devote my time to this while I was moving toward a career in the Fire service. Fortunately for me, I didn’t exactly fulfill my plans of becoming a firefighter right away. My grades weren’t sufficient enough for me to continue and as a result, I was dropped from the program about half way through the course. This also happened to me in EMT. All in all I took EMT and Fire both twice which to most people may have looked pretty bad. To me, which is why I’m so fortunate, I was able to find comfort and redemption in it because it reminded me of how hard I knew I had to work towards those goals, goals that I wasn’t about to let anything get in the way of. Persistence truly does pay off!

Jennifer had enough of corporate America and wanted to follow her dreams as an entrepreneur and start her own workout clothing line, Hallow + Plank. One of the reasons for moving to FL was allowing her to eventually do this and be closer to the industry and market that she felt would allow her business to thrive. Now, getting hired in the fire service is hard…very hard. Some people it takes years to get hired and some never even get the chance. Not to mention it’s nice if municipalities are even hiring to begin with. They say for each Firefighter class of students, maybe ¼ of them will get “picked up.” I never let that bother or hinder me and continued to focus on my goal and chief-aim of becoming a Fireman. I not only got hired once as a Firefighter, but I was hired again by another municipality, not to mention I was the first person in my class to get picked up. In fact, my first department hired 8 people from a stack of 2,000+ applicants during my first eligible hiring phase; I was the 7th person selected. The other department was a better fit for me so I took that job within a year of the other.

During all this time I never lost my love for wine. I still found myself spending hours online looking at auction sites, reading articles and books about various wines, purchasing different wines which at times could take up to hours in the store. Before I knew it, an hour had gone by and I didn’t even realize it. I knew most of the wines I was looking at, but it was a matter of picking the right ones at the right time. Never the less, I loved just being in the atmosphere surrounded by everything in general.

Now I’ve come to a point where I realize that following my dreams is more important than ever. My wife’s business is doing well and she’s constantly learning and improving on things everyday. Ultimately our goal is to live in California where Jen will take Hallow + Plank to the next level and I’ll work in the wine industry where I want to be. My whole life has been a journey that more and more is proving itself to me as the days go by.

Now as far as why I’m here. This blog is an opportunity for me to do a couple things: First, I want to learn as much as I can. I know I’m the one writing the blog but there’s so much to learn in this industry about wine, food, friends and family, ambitions, just life in general. I will never suggest that what I think is always correct or that the information I’m presenting is absolute. A lot of the times I think in life we are so quick to offer what we think, that we shut off our ears for the opportunity to actually learn. God gave us 2 ears and one mouth or one hand when writing…so use them proportionally. The next thing I want to do is empower or inspire others to succeed. We can all learn something from each other so it’s always a win-win when multiple people are on board with one particular topic or concept.

Thank you for taking the time to read my story. I look forward to hearing from you and sharing the things that I think we can all benefit from. Wine is a journey that brings people together and I can’t wait to go on this journey with you!

Cheers