#zee's gonna go batsjit soon i swear but im so. so lonely. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

the-woild-is-y-erster · 8 months

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vent ig

no one in my family will hug me anymore. i dont think i said or did anything, and i take showers consistently every other day, so i know i dont smell bad.

but none of my friends are very tactile, and ive been too busy to see my boss

so i havent had a hug in two months, maybe more (not that ive been counting.)

and i think i'm going insane.

i havent had more than a hand on a shoulder, at most holding someone's hand for theater, and i'm going crazy because i need to be hugged i need to be held i need to be loved but i guess that isn't in the cards right now.

that's ok. i can wait a little longer, i guess.

#zee's gonna go batsjit soon i swear but im so. so lonely.#please ma don't you love me still?#i know you hate me for who i am and i know i can't ever go back to the way we were but please?#can we pretend it's all ok for a while and that i'm four again and my feelings got big?#can you sing that song you used to? the one about the moon?#pa im sorry im so sorry dad you have to forgive me #i know im not your little girl anymore but please can you at least pretend you can tolerate my presence?#can you pretend you aren't disgusted by me?#can we all pretend im not a failure for a minute?#can we pretend you guys are proud of me and who i wanna be?#just.#just for a minute.#you don't have to fake it for any longer than that i promise #was i really not enough that you hate me so?#was i really too loud or talked too much like elliot says?#am i really just that annoying that my own blood can't stand being within three feet of me?#am i?

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