Need to make an ao3 account...Don't use other social media for yall to stalk me馃挍I'm so damn hot y'all
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I lovehate getting dragged kicking and screaming back into a fandom because its spiritual successor explores themes that hit me like a brick wall
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so happy right now
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Prescriptions :3
#buying myself a game because I'm proud of myself#it was so hot out my phone shut off at the beginning of the call ^^#scared because I was being so open#but in the end I got through it :3
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I am feel like I'm dreaming and I don't want anyone to break me out of it
Just spent the last 2 or so hours sitting with my friend while she played a game because I asked if she wanted to sit with me while I try to get tired, it worked phenomenally because I got to sit and watch her be good at games
#I also bough her a game because I was the one to recommend it to her#I hope she enjoys it :3#now off to bed with thee!
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Maybe I should sleep early tonight? Yeah. Yeah, I should.
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Found a way to shave and it feels so good :3
#I'm so pretty and I'm only going to get prettier!#Cleanest my face has been in a few days :]#also damn is it so hot today...
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So thankfully it ISN'T mandatory, it just isn't apparent.
Anyway, appointments are made :]
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and also it feels really selfish of me to say "hey, so we've been friends for several years now and I know neither of us have outright come out to each other but I need to trust someone to care if my life is ever in danger and I want that to be you"
#ready to scream because why the fuck is it so hard to try to not feel bad about asking for help?#I don't know what to do
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The problem with having a mandatory emergency contact is, I don't trust anyone around me enough to be an emergency contact...
The only people I really do trust, either live halfway cross country or I'm scared to ask because I'm sure it'd be a big shock to her that I'm willing to trust her with my life
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I think I've finally learned how to cut down my posts to less than like a dozen lines.
#I just need to be more mysterious...#and tags!#I think I should still ramble#but idk who would want to see me keep rambling
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I'm going to fucking cry and its just because I'm being told my safety is more important than being honest with one of my best friends
#all she really did was send a gif to headpat me#but its the most she's done in years#I'm a damn fool#but I think I deserve to be a little dumb
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I feel like most of the stuff I post about is how much I can't escape falling in love.
#I think I'm kinda annoying...#like someone put this thing in therapy or something#(please don't actually#I hate therapy because it just feels wrong)#will I elaborate? no#oh... I do also post about gender stuff
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I've been asked to weedwack tomorrow :] while I'm unstable and want to peel off my skin again
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I really called it yesterday. Dysphoria really is getting my ass.
#trying not to post#I need the escape from real life right now and I don't have the energy to read#escapism [:
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thats enough tumblr today :]
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I want so very badly to have the privacy to practice my voice... sometimes I hear my voice echo back to me and I have to do everything in my power not to react or else I'll need to explain
#This comes to me after waking up and remembering how beautiful my bestie's voice was#my voice echoed back through her mic a few times and I had to stop myself from crying#thankfully I'm not with her right now so I can cry about it
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We spent almost 5 hours sitting together talking while I played that game ^-^
#she is so cute...#but I still can't shake the feeling that she hates me#Even after trying to separate myself from that feeling#I think I just need to sleep away this feeling...
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