199xparadiseenthusiast

[199xparadiseenthusiast]

Ending to Start a Beginning

“Do all the other things, the ambitious things—travel, get rich, get famous, innovate, lead, fall in love, make and lose fortunes…but as you do, to the extent that you can, err in the direction of kindness.” —George Saunders

Stressed, Bullied, Confused, Heart broken and Failure  —  those were part of my college life. 

I think, all of us, humans, experienced being stressed and until I get used to it, I think its normal. And you just need to learn how to handle it because I believe from the very start that I will get used of it.

Yes, I experienced being bullied. By whom? Well, by students YOUNGER than me. It’s not actually to the point where they hit me or punched me or whatever violence physically, but through social media (Twitter)  — “cyber bullying���. I love Twitter, I really do. I use Twitter to follow and be updated on breaking news stories, and to consume and laugh at jokes and memes. I like spending time on the platform to stay informed and connect with people. But it goes without saying that I would like Twitter a lot less if I were being bullied to what will I going to tweet by those people who they thought that my tweet is referring to them. They started harassing me by their tweets, where it came to the point that they threaten me of hurting after school at the gate, where also they call me names (tffff hindi sila pumili ng okay). I told that to my friends which made me feel safer. And I thank them, for being my shell for 1 whole week. But I’m okay now, thanks to those war freaks, you made me realize that not all educated people have manners.

“Confused”  —  I’ve been there. Lahat naman siguro, but not in my gender, in my course naman teh haha char. I shifted to a new course when I was in my first year college. Its funny because at that moment, I’m still confused of what course should I take if I will shift. Sooooo...... after so much discussion with myself and mommy, I shifted from BS Accountancy to BSBA majoring business management. AND I really did my best to finish all the subjects na hindi ko na-credit in 7 semesters including OJT and Summer class. Cute. 

Huhu, heart breaks. Before I met my sweet pea, I met fuckboys din naman. And you know what made them hurt my feelings? I can’t give them what they want (totoo pala yun? akala ko sa movies lang yun). You all sucks (lamnyoyon?) But I also met a guy, who’s not like them. But there is no clarity of feelings, he’s the one who’s confuse, I think? Can’t blame him as well, because he’s NGSB. I don’t want to take a risk on him because I am sure of my feelings but he’s not. So, why over thinking of him right? Destruction. And I know, God do it in purpose because I will not be in so much happiness right now with my sweet pea, without experiencing heart breaks with them. I am so much grateful of what and who I have now. Love is in the air, always. 

Failed exams, failed relationships with friends and more than friends, failed decisions   —  I went through a few difficult years where I felt like a failure. But it was actually really important for me to go through that. Struggle, for me, is the most motivational thing in the world at the end of the day. 

THOSE THINGS ARE PART OF WHAT I ACHIEVED AND WHO I AM NOW. 

Looking forward to more stress, confusions, heart breaks (but not with my sweet pea) and failures because it will still be part of my journey to the real world. And I will not let anyone to bully or harass me again, believe me or not, I know now how to fight. 

[199xparadiseenthusiast]

[199xparadiseenthusiast]

Right now, I feel heavy. But one day, I know I’ll be free of the weight of these emotions. It’s just going to take time. 

[199xparadiseenthusiast]

Destroy the idea that you have to be constantly working or grinding in order to be successful. Embrace the concept that rest, recovery, and reflection are essential parts of the progress towards a successful and ultimately happy life.

[199xparadiseenthusiast]

“People fall in and out of love all the time, and sometimes people have numerous loves throughout their lives. But you have two epic loves and no matter who you were with, I don’t think you’d ever get over or forget the other.”

— Molly McAdams, Taking Chances | @wordsnquotes

[199xparadiseenthusiast]

“To fall in love with you was such an achingly beautiful transcending experience.”

—

Andressa Moro

@wnq-writers | @wordsnquotes | @shareaquote

 submitted to @wnq-quotes, February 21st 2018

[199xparadiseenthusiast]

don’t let a bad grade make you think any less of yourself.

[199xparadiseenthusiast]

[199xparadiseenthusiast]

i need someone in my life who cares about me as much as i care about them because i'm so tired of always being the one who cares more

[199xparadiseenthusiast]

n o t a n y m o r e

I am not the same girl who used to do everything for people who failed to put in effort themselves. The girl who used to get excited when someone gave her the smallest amount of affection, because she took whatever she could get. I am not the same girl I was when I was younger. She was innocent. Naive. Overly trusting. She saw the best in people, because she didn’t know what they were capable of doing yet. She didn’t understand how hard a heart could break. But now, I am more experienced. I have been hurt before. I have been lied to, led on, and betrayed. I can no longer call myself an optimist, because I have seen the darkest parts of people I once trusted. I should be bitter about all of the shit I’ve been through, but honestly, I consider it a good thing. My worst days have helped shaped me into someone different. Someone strong. I am not a pushover anymore. I am not going to allow anyone to treat me as a backup plan. I am not going to allow anyone to string me along without making a commitment. I am not going to lower my standards because I happen to have feelings for someone who clearly doesn’t feel the same way. I am not going to give out third and fourth chances anymore. I am not going to answer someone’s text if it took them three days to respond to mine. I am not going to rearrange my schedule to see someone if they keep canceling and rescheduling. I am not going to use all of my energy to make someone else happy while neglecting my own happiness. I am not going to let other people take advantage of me anymore. I am not going to help out a friend if my schedule is packed and the extra activity would push me over the edge. I am not going to kiss someone if I don’t feel a spark, just because they bought me a drink at the bar. I am not going to feel like I am obligated to do something for someone else when I have a choice. I am not the same girl who used to keep quiet, who used to go with the flow, who used to let people take advantage of her kindness. I am not the same girl who used to think so little of herself and so highly of everyone else. Some people might say that I am not as nice anymore. Some people might have liked me better before, because back then, I let them get away with murder. I let them walk all over me. But I am happy with who I am now, because I have finally realized my worth. I have finally raised my standards to where they should have been all along. I have finally decided that I deserve more than what some people are willing to give me — and that it is okay to walk away when I’m not getting enough. 

[199xparadiseenthusiast]

cartoons can teach us so much :)

[199xparadiseenthusiast]

Sometimes you have to give yourself a pep talk!

[199xparadiseenthusiast]

That’s why I write about you, to let go of you. To speak out about all I’ve ever wanted to tell you but never had the courage to do so.

Hopefully someday you’ll read this and realise how much I loved you // a.s (via

excerptsofyou

)

That’s why I write about you.

(via evrythnginvrsaid)

[199xparadiseenthusiast]

I get way too sensitive when I get attached to someone. I can detect the slightest change in the tone of their voice, and suddenly I’m spending all day trying to figure out what I did wrong.

Brandon Stanton, Humans of New York (via wordsnquotes)

[199xparadiseenthusiast]

Why should it be essential to love rarely in order to love much?

Albert Camus (via thelovejournals)

[199xparadiseenthusiast]

My friends: I think it'd be cool to meet a celebrity at a meet and greet or somethi-

Me: DID YOU KNOW TAYLOR SWIFT HAND PICKS PEOPLE FROM TUMBLR EVERY SHOW FOR A PRE SHOW MEET AND GREET AND SHE GETS HER TEAM AND MUM TO PICK OUT FANS FROM THE CROWD TO MEET HER AFTER THE SHOW AND THAT SHE STALKS US ALL ON TUMBLR AND LIKES AND REBLOGS AND MESSAGES US AND TALKS TO US LIKE WE ARE HER BEST FRIENDS????!!!!!?

[199xparadiseenthusiast]

Good things are coming :))