222blauerhai

[222blauerhai]

Sorry not sorry, but I think if you're a company that makes calls for art/writing/poetry/etc, & you open calls for a general anthology of queer work that has NOTHING TO DO EXPLICITLY WITH FEMININITY, & you say 'transfems apply first', you're not being trans inclusive. Why, for a general anthology, are you prioritising only transfems & no other trans person? What is your beef with transmasc & transneutral people that your submissions are ONLY open to transfems at first, if the work anthology isn't even about being trans? This is exclusion, this is erasure & perpetuation of the invisibility of non-transfem trans people. This is a covert kind of transandrophobia that posits transfems as the ONLY oppressed trans people, while all the rest of us struggle in obscurity. Come the fuck on.

As a transmasculine author, I don't feel at all comfortable with a company that ignores & forgets about my trans brothers & unaligned siblings.

[222blauerhai]

It’s wild when people claim only transfems challenge the patriarchy by rejecting masculinity. Subversive masculinities have always been a threat to the patriarchal order.

Transfems rejecting masculinity is one kind of threat, of course, but trans men (and others doing subversive masculinity) undermine the very idea that masculinity = cis male power. That’s arguably just as destabilizing, if not more, because it strikes at the engine room of patriarchy itself.

[222blauerhai]

The rest of the queer community: *throw a fit every time we ask not to be called "girl"* *fetishize us* *infantalize us* *deem anything that becomes popular amongst us 'cringe'* *leave us out of conversations about SA, safety, and reproductive rights even though our rate of sexual violence is at 79%* *say dumb shit like "it should be illegal for trans men to go on T without mood stabilizer* *minimize our trauma that comes with feminity being forced on us* *say dumb shit like "all that work just to be straight" when we like women* *say dumb shit like "get better soon" when we like men*

Also the rest of the queer community: OMG trans men and transmascs don't need their own safe space! Y'all just have a victim complex and hate women!

[222blauerhai]

I hate when people frame the whole discussion around transandrophobia (the literal oppression of transmascs) as "drama".

[222blauerhai]

We all agree that generalizations and stereotypes aren't good. All groups have variety and diversity within them, and reducing a group down to one or a few traits is harmful.

So, why is it so hard to expand the definition of being a man? Why is it different for men?

[222blauerhai]

I‘ve seen people on here talk about the discourse around the question: “Do you want to be a man, or do you just not want to be a woman?”, usually framed as “Are you really trans, or are you just reacting to internalized misogyny?”

And like, sure, that can be a valid question for some people exploring their identity. But I think it misses something important: some people’s gender is literally that.

Some people’s gender is grounded in not being a woman. It’s not always about moving toward some idealized version of masculinity, it can also be about moving away from womanhood because it’s not you. And that’s still entirely valid.

For example, I identify as a demiboy. I don’t often tell people that. I usually just say I’m a trans guy because it’s easier, and honestly I don’t think about the label all the time. But at the core of my gender is the fact that I’m not a woman. I feel about 80% male and 20% nothing, and that “nothing” isn’t confusion, it’s part of who I am. The exact mix of feeling male and feeling like “nothing” changes from time to time, but what’s always consistent is that I don’t identify as a woman. (Of course this doesn’t apply to everyone who uses that label but it‘s my personal experience)

So when people frame that question like it invalidates someone’s gender, they forget that for some of us, “not being a woman” is the gender (or part of it). And that doesn’t make it less real.

[222blauerhai]

if your feminism doesn't make space in it's theory, or doesn't have the appropriate language, to integrate the living experiences of trans men, transmascs, non-binary ppl, non-passing and non-transitioning trans ppl, intersex ppl, marginalized men and ppl outside of western europe and north america, then your feminism is bullshit and if u pretend it's intersectional you're a fucking clown

u should be mad at the historical exclusion of all these ppl from academical feminist discourse, not at the fact that the internet made all these ppl capable of creating their own language and sharing their experiences. u should be overjoyed, not mad that now all these groups are debunking your half baked theories and refuse to let u talk for them

feminist theory is expanding. and that's good. it's amazing. the fact that this is not celebrated more let's me know that unfortunately many feminists lost the point of feminism somewhere along the way

[222blauerhai]

"lol how can you disagree that ALL men have male privilege it's basic feminism" did said basic feminism take trans men into account while being developed? Does said basic feminism conflate male identity with being classed socially as male under patriarchy?

[222blauerhai]

So, cis women’s entitlement over transmasc bodies. Or, more accurately, cis women’s entitlement over bodies they perceive as being like their own.

Under the cispatriarchy, cis women, particularly cis white women, will often have the role of the enforcer of femininity. You’ll very frequently see this in groups of women and, if you were raised under the assumption that you are a girl, you’ve likely seen it in action yourself, particularly from cis women family members. At some point, your mother decided it was time you learn to shave your pits and legs and made sure you did it. If your girl classmates saw your leg hair, they’d freak out cause that’s soooo gross. If you didn’t wear makeup, they’d either make a huge effort to teach you or they’d make snide remarks about it. If you wanted less feminine clothes, your mom would never buy them for you and since you’re a kid you have to wear the girly clothes she picks for you instead. If she doesn’t, the girls at school will try to “give you a makeover”. Actually, the fact that makeovers are a thing and seen as something exciting to take part in even if the central focus is unwilling should say a lot. Basically, if you’re seen as someone who’s supposed to be a girl and you’re not Performing Girl hard enough, you get harassed until you comply or become a social outcast among women.

If cis women perceive you as One Of Them but Doing It Wrong, they have a sudden need to correct it. This is already weird and a sign of a misogynistic culture. But then we get into the problem of being a trans man in an environment like this.

You want to cut your hair short? “But it’s sooooo much prettier long! Why would you wanna get rid of it?! I’ve been so jealous of your hair, you can’t do this to me!”

You don’t want to wear makeup if you did before? “You don’t have to wear too much, you know, just the basics, come on. You look so much worse now.”

You stop shaving your legs and pits? “Ew, that’s so gross and unsanitary!”

And I haven’t even gotten into medical transitioning.

Which, okay I guess cis women would likely see the idea of taking a body Like Theirs and masculinizing it to be a horror show because they would never want the same thing for themselves. Thing is, out of all the things that are not about them, this is the most not about them. Still, they will make it about themselves.

Cis women who lost the body parts we want removed will take it deeply personally as if we wouldn’t offer to hand you ours without hesitation. Cis mothers will cry and act wounded and victimized over their trans sons getting top surgery. If you go out to a beach with visible top surgery scars, cis women approach you and talk to you like they just caught you self harming for the first time (“oh, sweetie, what have you done to yourself” in That Specific Tone). Cis women in general will say and do anything to make you reconsider your desire to make your body, which they see as Like Theirs, less Like Theirs. As if it’s about them. As if you’re a lost lamb to guide back to the fold. And not just some guy trying to improve your quality of life by getting rid of what’s causing you distress and giving yourself things that make you happier.

And you’d hope after a certain point in transition they’d stop. They’d finally recognize you’re a guy and you want a body that matches You, The Guy. And some do. But some don’t. You’re still a tragedy to them and now a danger to other girls and they’ll overwrite your words and your reality to paint you as such. Because now you’re Once Like Ours. Something corrupted. Not a real man but instead That Which Was Once A Woman, and you carry a corrupting force that they fear will reach them or their daughters. That corrupting force, by the way, is the knowledge that you literally do not have to be a woman if you don’t want to be and there are options. Because once you have that, well, their gender policing doesn’t quite work the same way it used to now. They lost control. And that’s scary. But they didn’t need or deserve it in the first place, now did they?

That got a little dramatized at the end there but I feel I’ve made my point.

[222blauerhai]

tell me how nonbinary people factor into the tme/tma binary without bringing up their agab. go on, I'll wait

[222blauerhai]

the people who were pretending to care about black men being killed in the streets because a white woman called the police on them for existing are the same people making posts about how men are universally more privileged than women.

[222blauerhai]

Here's my theory, Upholding patriarchal ideas and misogyny for cis women help the individual, where this one woman can benefit from it, but is detrimental to the group, to the class of women. Upholding toxic masculinity and misogyny does the same for trans men, individually, you might be able to gain benefits, but it's detrimental to the group, to the class of trans men Cis men benefit from upholding misogyny and patriarchal ideas of manhood on a individual level and a group level, as a class. That's the real difference, that's what systemic means.

[222blauerhai]

I don’t understand why it is that a major talking point in the argument against transandrophobia or whatever your variant name of it is, is that it can’t exist because misandry doesn’t exist.

which is not factually true. and before you clown on me saying that this guy’s an idiot transandrodork for saying men are oppressed, acknowledging the existence of misandry does absolutely nothing to claim that men are oppressed.

misandry or anti-masculinity is the prejudice towards men — hatred towards men for the reason that they are men. this does not mean it’s systemic or exists in a way that is exactly parallel to misogyny. it’s just the hate of men. which exists, and is perpetrated, by many people including members of this site. misandry affects ALL trans people.

treating masculinity as if it is inherently dirty, hostile and a negative trait is constantly weaponised against intersex people (trans or not), trans women, trans men, and trans people who do not fall under the gender binary. this cruel perpetration of misandry also frequently affects other queer people, such as butch lesbians.

denying transandrophobia by straight up denying that prejudice against men is possible simply for the reason that it doesn’t operate like misogyny does (ie at a systemic level) is counter productive and is hurting our community

[222blauerhai]

non trans mascs are a little *too* confident in speaking over us... we need to get a lot meaner and more blunt in telling people to stay in their lane

[222blauerhai]

ok who else has noticed that regardless of the kind of trans man you are, someone will claim you’re privileged?

You pass as a cis man? Privileged

You’re closeted or don’t pass? Privileged

I’m gonna be real yall just hate trans men and you have these conversations around privilege as a way to dunk on them 🤷‍♂️

[222blauerhai]

it really does annoy me when people mock transmasc music just because of all the beautiful music out there written by trans men and mascs that i KNOW these people haven’t listened to. you haven’t even listened to the best cavetown songs and you expect me to believe you know who aidoneus is? who cuee is? mo’ju? elliot bam? dreamer isioma?

do you know any of our names? do you care to know?

[222blauerhai]

What do transandrophobes think of bigender people btw

Like

I am a gal, right? But... I am also a dude

I do not present as a dude, I present as a very hairy gal who is tomboy-feminine-sorta-idk-what-i-actually-look-like

So, yeah, as a Gal

Am I still oppressing trans women because I happen to be a transmasc individual?

Like... How can being transandrophobic work if you are queer? How does it work

How do you make it work

I just do not get it

I guess being non-binary, esp the way I am, kind of demolishes their arguments but they do not seem to acknowledge it??? What kinda gymnastics are you doing friend