5000angryspiders

[5000angryspiders]

you ever have just like, a really bad idea

anyways if you like bad things here’s a postcard

[5000angryspiders]

Now this is what I mean (metaphorically) by "enrichment in my enclosure"

[5000angryspiders]

[5000angryspiders]

this is so funny

[5000angryspiders]

Common chaffinch/bofink. Värmland, Sweden (June 4, 2020).

[5000angryspiders]

Common chaffinch/bofink. Värmland, Sweden (June 4, 2020).

[5000angryspiders]

do NOT be normal about aragorn around me ‘oh he’s such a badass he killed so many orcs’ yeah idc i’m here to talk about him all alone sewing up holes in his socks next to a campfire in his ranger days singing elven songs from his childhood and he sort of has a terrible singing voice but the ents love it and then later when he joins the fellowship and everyone’s up late singing goofy songs he’s so happy to have a chorus with him now and his voice keeps breaking and boromir is laughing so hard at him that he’s crying but not in a mean way and aragorn knows so he just sings louder and worse and he thinks he could get used to this

[5000angryspiders]

1163565318545

[5000angryspiders]

all video games should have a “I’m shit at video games but I’m curious about the story and I don’t want to watch a let’s play” mode

[5000angryspiders]

"i fucked your wife"/"i'm having sex with your wife"/"i'm cucking you": comedy

"i'm helping your wife with household chores"/"i'm taking your wife out to a nice dinner and show after she's had a long day at work"/"i'm bonding with your children over family gatherings": peak comedy

[5000angryspiders]

When I got up this morning my eldest cat came over and wanted to show me something (hooked his tail around my leg while walking away an looked back to make sure I was following).

So I followed him and he showed me a sunbeam and flooped near the side so I'd have room to join him

[5000angryspiders]

I’ve been asked many times what someone should look for when trying to find a good artist. The best way you can do this is to look at their portfolio, whether it’s in a book at their shop or online. If they don’t have good work in their portfolio, they’re probably not good artists.

The shop may be clean, the people there might be nice, and the design they draw up for you might be exactly what you want, but if your artist doesn’t stand up to the points listed above, then you’re going to get a bad tattoo.

It’s okay to walk into a shop, talk with an artist for a while, and decide you don’t want a tattoo from them. Even if the artist has a bad attitude about it or tries to convince you to just let them do it, remember this is going to be on your body for the rest of your life.

[5000angryspiders]

i have never even been a sonic fan. i’ve played mario and sonic at the olympics at most.. okay. but shadow the hedgehog is a real presence in my life. he’s my virgin mary. like my y2k techno mall goth miss piggy. he is real to me… you understand… like hatsune miku. every haircut i get is in his name.

[5000angryspiders]

autistic people of a particular flavour will master the art of expressing mundane sentiment in amusing ways because their most successful jokes as children were primarily accidental. and when you realise you have that spark of a weirdo it's just a matter of intentionality and comic linguistic optimisation to make yourself a regular sayer of things in funny ways.

[5000angryspiders]

intergenerational trauma has me losing my mind bc it’ll have you looking at your mama like “well i woulda been batshit crazy if i was raised by her mama too.” and then you look at your grandma and you’re like “well i woulda been batshit crazy if i was raised by her mama too!” and rinse and repeat

[5000angryspiders]

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