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500-year-old Snake Figure from Peru (Incan Empire), c. 1450-1532 CE: this fiber craft snake was made from cotton and camelid hair, and it has a total length of 86.4cm (about 34in)

This piece was crafted by shaping a cotton core into the basic form of a snake and then wrapping it in structural cords. Colorful threads were then used to create the surface pattern, producing a zig-zag design that covers most of the snake's body. Some of its facial features were also decorated with embroidery.

A double-braided rope is attached to the distal end of the snake's body, near the tip of its tail, and another rope is attached along the ventral side, where it forms a small loop just behind the snake's lower jaw. Similar features have been found in other serpentine figures from the same region/time period, suggesting that these objects may have been designed for a common purpose.

Very little is known about the original function and significance of these artifacts; they may have been created as decorative elements, costume elements, ceremonial props, toys, gifts, grave goods, or simply as pieces of artwork.

The Metropolitan Museum of Art argues that this figure might have been used as a prop during a particular Andean tradition:

In a ritual combat known as ayllar, snakes made of wool were used as projectiles. This effigy snake may have been worn around the neck—a powerful personal adornment of the paramount Inca and his allies—until it was needed as a weapon. The wearer would then grab the cord, swing the snake, and hurl it in the direction of the opponent. The heavy head would propel the figure forward. The simultaneous release of many would produce a scenario of “flying snakes” thrown at enemies.

The same custom is described in an account from a Spanish chronicler named Cristóbal de Albornoz, who referred to the tradition as "the game of the ayllus and the Amaru" ("El juego de los ayllus y el Amaru").

The image below depicts a very similar artifact from the same region/time period.

Why Indigenous Artifacts Should be Returned to Indigenous Communities.

Sources & More Info:

Metropolitan Museum of Art: Snake Ornament

Serpent Symbology: Representations of Snakes in Art

Journal de la Société des Américanistes: El Juego de los ayllus y el Amaru

Yale University Art Gallery: Votive Fiber Sculpture of an Anaconda

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Some people seem to prefer to hear comforting lies out of a machine than actually receiving any good advice!

Recipe recommendations for newbies (newcomers):

Egg+egg+egg+egg= ideal diet

(Egg+pig+oil)x(heat x earth minutes)= “breakfast”

come on man

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Some people claim to have studied at Jupiter. These claims are considered dubious due to a lack of evidence of human civilization and habitation on Jupiter. Do not be misinformed. There is no university nor institution on Jupiter. I checked

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THIS IS NOT A MAN! Do not use this image as reference for human identification!

This is merely a normal “meme”. The meme is typically an image based joke that is widely share. This one indicates that this creature is pondering what man (as in all humans) is. This is relatable

MAN

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Perfection.

rolling rolling rolling

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Apparently Homo sapiens metamorphose into frogs when exposed to social media.

Hey gang for those of you waiting for my return just letting you know that running the muppet joker account has put a very real strain on my real life marriage and I have decided to step away from the blog for the foreseeable future.

I have been talking to her and everone else in my personal life "in character" as the muppet joker so that my blog would be as true to life as possible. I have been wearing Joker makeup around the house, which at first she found funny, but now she can't even look at me. I started compulsively fantasizing about the muppets and it's ruining our sex life. I accidentally called her Kermit in the bedroom and she made me sleep on the couch for a week.

Our son turned one year old this year on July 5th, on the day of Dashcon 2. My wife begged and pleaded with me to stay home and celebrate his birthday, but I was stupid and selfish and had become completely taken over by the muppet joker persona at that point. I went. I returned home to an ultimatum. Its my family, or it's the muppet joker. I chose my family.

Sorry tumblr. I have failed you. I have failed my wife. I have failed my son. I have to go now, to be with them, and to watch my child grow up.

Goodbye, Homosapiens

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Frogs apparently have no concept of sharing. This is important information to know before beginning any negotiations with frogs

Dinner with the Stickyfrogs featuring Bravery and Stealing!

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Normal conversation?

"STOP PUTTING YOURSELF INTO DANGER!" PROMPTS *  assorted dialogue for expressing your fear that the person you care about might get themselves hurt if they keep acting like this, adjust as necessary

i thought i told you to stay back.

i love you too much to let you get hurt like this.

this affects me, too, you know.

every time you leave, i sit up all night waiting, praying you'll come back alive.

you keep pulling stunts like this and something bad will happen.

do you have a death wish or something?

this isn't fair to me.

i deserve better than this.

i didn't get any sleep last night because i was so worried about you.

you promised me you'd stop going out at night.

i don't like hearing this.

you've been risking your life, and for what? so you can feel like a goddamn hero?

i said i would handle it.

what the fuck are you doing here?

you told me you'd stay put.

so much for laying low.

you remember how bad it was last time.

seems like you haven't learned anything.

i believe you promised me you'd lay low.

i can't keep doing this.

don't give me that look.

we'll discuss this later.

this stops now.

i'm tired of picking up the pieces once you've left.

you keep throwing yourself into danger.

you don't give a shit about yourself, do you?

i'm sitting here, worried out of my mind, while you're out doing god knows what.

that was really stupid of you, and you know it.

i thought you knew better than this.

what's your excuse this time?

you do realize what this does to me, right? seeing you get hurt like this? you know it hurts me, too?

you really don't give a shit how this affects me, huh.

that was the dumbest possible thing you could have done.

i need you to stop throwing yourself into harm's way.

that was completely unnecessary.

they had it handled.

you didn't need to step in like that.

why do you think you're invincible?

the last time you pulled a stunt like this, it nearly got you killed.

i can't just sit here and watch you get hurt.

what are you trying to prove?

you just like fucking with my heart, don't you.

this shit hurts me, too, you know.

you're not the only one affected by this shit.

you've got a lot of people counting on you to come home every night.

what happens if you don't come back?

you think we can just carry on without you?

you think i can handle things if you end up dead?

i'm not sticking around to watch you get hurt.

you're not even slick.

you think you're invincible, don't you.

quit pretending you've got everything under control.

let someone else do it for a change.

you can't keep putting yourself through shit like this and expect me to just sit back and watch.

i'm done with this.

next time you do this, i'm not coming back.

promise me this is the end.

look me in the eyes and tell me you'll stop doing this.

let the authorities deal with it.

you're making a big mistake.

is it worth dying for?

i've dealt with enough pain over the years.

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Eating all the data for dinner

*puts a disk in u*

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I also get excited by colors. Purple is the best

im sorry failboat but after you screamed after saying "the color blue" i had to make this

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1. Inedible.

2. Equally digestible.

3. Equally digestible.

4. Alive?

5. Does that even matter?

6. All clothes are wearable

7. Headphones are less damaging for jelly

8. Movies have less filler episodes. Better use of time.

9. Pollen

10. Hide and seek

11. Egg

12. Music

13. Equally indigestible

14. Sugarcane

15. Of mice and men

16. Lump like I don’t have a spine because I have no spine

17. Sandals

18. Rainy

19. Flatter lump

20. Notes app because my handwriting is awful!

21. Other Species

22. Scientists

23. Singing late at night

24. Salt

25. Baby Beluga

More later

weird asks that say a lot

in

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

7. earbuds or headphones?

8. movies or tv shows?

9. favorite smell in the summer?

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

12. name of your favorite playlist?

13. lanyard or key ring?

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

18. ideal weather?

19. sleeping position?

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

21. obsession from childhood?

22. role model?

23. strange habits?

24. favorite crystal?

25. first song you remember hearing?

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

28. five songs to describe you?

29. best way to bond with you?

30. places that you find sacred?

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

32. top five favorite vines?

33. most used phrase in your phone?

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

35. average time you fall asleep?

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

38. lemonade or tea?

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

41. last person you texted?

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

44. favorite scent for soap?

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

47. favorite type of cheese?

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

51. current stresses?

52. favorite font?

53. what is the current state of your hands?

54. what did you learn from your first job?

55. favorite fairy tale?

56. favorite tradition?

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

62. seven characters you relate to?

63. five songs that would play in your club?

64. favorite website from your childhood?

65. any permanent scars?

66. favorite flower(s)?

67. good luck charms?

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

70. left or right handed?

71. least favorite pattern?

72. worst subject?

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

82. pc or console?

83. writing or drawing?

84. podcasts or talk radio?

84. barbie or polly pocket?

85. fairy tales or mythology?

86. cookies or cupcakes?

87. your greatest fear?

88. your greatest wish?

89. who would you put before everyone else?

90. luckiest mistake?

91. boxes or bags?

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

93. nicknames?

94. favorite season?

95. favorite app on your phone?

96. desktop background?

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

98. favorite historical era?

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This is not the correct way to eat pasta. The sauce will be too watered down to taste good

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Lip example

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One classic question I get is: What Is Lips? These fleshy protrusions on your face serve a multitude of incredible purposes!

They help you pronounce things like the letter P. This is essential to understanding certain human languages so make sure to practice using your lips to say the letter P! P! P! P! P! They also assist in drinking! These flexible fleshy protrusions, when properly used, allow you to suck up any nearby fluid you desire! Water! Carbonated water! Flavored water! They are also perfect for collecting fluid samples!

Please use your lips carefully. Do not press them against people without permission. That is seen as very unacceptable and suspicious by all people.

Feel free to ask me more questions. I’m an expert.

Random image of human lips below to illustrate my point and aid in identifying what lips are.

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I’m frequently asked questions by confused and distressed folks so I’m making a blog about all of my great advice and common sense answers!