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i will not lie, friends in my phone, i have been imagining affection from time to time

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(opening the author’s works page after finishing a fic) and if im lucky they’ll have written this exact same fic but different a bunch more times

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hmmm okay i’m seeing the “dick grayson is a ray of sunshine” tag increase in popularity and i feel as though i may need to clarify that whenever EYE use it, the “dick grayson is a ray of sunshine” tag is not adorable harmless smiley optimistic ball of sunshine dick. to ME dick grayson is a ray of sunshine (brilliant and brutal and furious in a way that is impossible to dream of being until you meet him) (he is simmering and sharp and too bright to look at head on, raise a hand to shade your eyes) (he burns the skin of your arms and your shoulders and your cheeks until your flesh is blistered and red from prodding, in pain and glad for it, or darker and bronzed, grateful to be touched by him at all)

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Did I spend basically my entire weekend going insane? Yes, however it resulted in me making a map that actually makes sense and isn’t low quality so I don’t really care.

I do plan to add to this here in a bit- specifically, I plan on in a reblog posting each of the synopsis for each section, I just have to finish writing the last couple of them. If there’s anything missing or you have an idea on how to make this more accessible, please let me know and I’ll try my best to fix it- I want this map to be at least a useful guide into the chaos that is Gotham City, and it can’t do that if people can’t use it.

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it’s so funny to me that in a lot of fics after Tim’s parents die and he’s adopted and moved into Wayne manor, he still just… owns the mansion next door. like Drake manor is just right there, fully furnished and empty, fully inherited by Tim. and he just kinda leaves it there. probably forgets he owns it. how much do you wanna bet the others absolutely do NOT forget that next door is also owned by the family?

how much do you wanna bet that at least twice a month Bruce freaks the fuck out because Damian’s been missing for two days and eventually they track him down to find that he’d just walked over to Drake manor to avoid being told to help Alfred dust and then… couldn’t be bothered to walk back. figured that technically Drake manor could also be ‘home’ and made himself comfortable. is napping in Tim’s childhood bedroom when they find him and is completely unapologetic about eating the food in his kitchen.

how much do you wanna bet that Tim gets a call from the weekly cleaner that he totally forgot was being paid from his bank account to maintain Drake manor, only to be told by a slightly terrified cleaner that she tried to go in to mop the kitchen and found a fucking crime lord in nothing but sweatpants and his helmet, ranting to an ‘oracle’ about some kind of ‘drug drop off’ that he ‘needed off Batman’s radar’, because Jason was too tired to motorcycle all the way back to Crime Alley after a debrief but didn’t want to have to be around Bruce so he just kinda broke into Tim’s old house and has been casually chilling there for the past week while he worked on a case.

how much do you wanna bet that one time Bruce grounded Tim for two weeks and Tim was so annoyed about it that to be petty he snuck out and went back to Drake manor. Bruce was so fucking mad because Tim directly ignored his orders and he couldn’t even do anything about it because every time he brought it up he got loud claims of ‘yOU TOLD ME TO GO TO MY ROOM SO I WENT TO MY FUCKING ROOM, B, I DON’T WANNA HEAR SHIT FROM YOU-!’

how much do you wanna bet when eventually Tim can’t be bothered to deal with the insurance forms and he sells Drake manor, he mentions having to hand over his keys and instantly every single batkid starts digging around in their pockets and producing two or three keys to Drake manor because over the years they’ve all just kinda. been using it. whenever. Tim had no fucking clue they’d made keys. he’s so confused. it gets so much funnier when the next day Tim shows up to the estate agents to drop off his plastic tub of keys for the new owner and he fucking finds Jason Todd there ready to receive them.

“I make a lot of money in my line of work,” he says. “figured it was time for a summer house.”

“you hate being close to Bruce.”

“not as much as Bruce hates shoddy neighbours. i’m going to make his life hell.”

“you made me carry this box of keys for nothing.”

“yeah you can hand those back out actually, i really don’t care who goes in there.”

“I hate you.”

“Don’t be rude to your new neighbour.”

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did y’all know that in victorian times it was really common after somebody died, that their family members would clean up the corpse, prop them up, and take post mortem photos with them?

Jason kills the Joker and instead of being normal about it he decides to antagonise Bruce by taking professional photos with the guys corpse in different outfits and poses while in full Red Hood gear and leaving them in the batcave for Bruce to find. he thinks it’s hysterical. Bruce thinks it’s psychologically damaging and he has no fucking clue how to get Red Hood to leave him alone OR how he can even get into the fucking batcave. eventually Tim finds Jason without a mask leaving another photo and figures everything out.

Tim: so you’ve just been doing this for months? isn’t the corpse like… decayed?

Jason: no i took like a hundred in advance before i cremated the fucker. so i can do this for like another year.

Tim, remembering the shit he had to go through on his 16th birthday so really Bruce has what’s coming to him:

Tim: that’s actually kinda funny.

Jason, delighted: right?!? i still have the suit i was buried in, too, so i’m thinking of making myself look corpse-like for a couple selfies and taking it one step further.

Tim: ok well that’s diabolically cruel.

Tim:

Tim: you know i’m somewhat of a photographer myself…

Jason: this is the start of a beautiful secret friendship, Replacement.

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me seeing a mutual's happy post: "hell yeah buddy :)" *hits like*

me seeing a mutual's sad/vent post: "aww no buddy :(" *hits like*

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Honey I Shrunk La France

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this is so sweet 🥺🥺🥺

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thank you Canada 🇨🇦

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everyone talks about the folgers coffee incest commercial but remember the quizno’s commercial where the guy was fucking the toaster oven?

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not a wolf, not a dog, but a secret third thing