acesnakes-blog

[acesnakes-blog]

*whispers*… support all ace people.

All of them. Everyone of the goddamned spectrum. Most of us spent too long feeling very broken or confused to later get told we dont get to be part of the one community we feel we relate to.

Sex repulsed ace? You’re great. I feel.you. I know exactly what that���s like.

Sex positive ace? Man thats awesome. Whether it’s just from a like casual interest or curiosity in it as a fascinating topic or as an active participant because you like how it feels. If you arent attracted sexually to people you’re ace too and still welcome here.

Grey-a? I bet that was really confusing to figure out man, im so glad you’re here. Don’t worry I promise you’re awesome too, youre not a “fake” or anything like that.

Demi? You go, dude. Being attracted to your partner or someone you have that bond with doesnt make you less a part of our community. It doesnt meanmyou were “never really ace” or that now you’re totally allosexual. Demi is just as valid as other orientations.

Basically anyone that feels like they are part of the ace spectrum is awesome and you belong here, fuck what other people tell you.

Unless you’re a raging asshole and like a murderer or something. Then you arent awesome.

[acesnakes-blog]

okay but can we just talk about greyromance for a bit

specifically: akoineromance

because of all the aro spectrum identities there are, i feel like akois get the most crap for being who they are.

akoineromance, for those of you who don’t know, is feeling romantic attraction to a lack of reciprocation, and/or feeling romantic attraction up until the point it is reciprocated (at which point it can either dissipate or become repulsion or what have you).

you know what that sounds like, to a narrow-minded, misogynistic viewpoint? yeah, that’s right, that’s slut material right there.

and no, not in the goes-around-and-flirts-and-or-sleeps-with-everyone definition. i’m talking about the deeper meaning of slut. the meaning that says you can’t talk to people that you’re romantically interested in if you can’t maintain interest for the appropriate duration, or you’re a flirt. you are not allowed to terminate relationships prior to that duration, or you were just leading that person on. you aren’t allowed to move on to another relationship until a certain time period has passed, or you’re insincere. you’re not allowed to flit from relationship to relationship because you are trying to understand your romantic identity; no, that business is for sluts only and long-term monogamy is the only thing that is acceptable for girls of any persuasion. (god help you if you’re a homoromantic akoi girl)

and i’m tired of that mentality. i’m tired of beating myself up for feeling attraction to people i will never be in relationships with. i’m tired of terminating friendships because i couldn’t handle romantic attraction that i didn’t want pointed at me. i’m tired of feeling like, calling myself, a slut for leading people on and coming off as an insincere flirt because my brain is wired in such a way that i can’t maintain romantic attraction after a certain period of time. i’m tired of wishing myself either completely alloromantic or otherwise completely aromantic; i’m tired of hating myself for not fitting to the alloromantic mold; i’m tired of being akoiromantic.and you know what else? i’m tired of being tired of it all. this isn’t fair. i didn’t ask to be like this, and neither did any of the other hundreds of thousands of akois out there. we’re not flirts and we’re not insincere. we’re just akoi. it’s how we’re wired, and i’m done with apologizing for who i am.

[acesnakes-blog]

I’ve seen a lot of people confused by asexuals who have sex, so I wanted to explain how I view having sex with a partner despite being ace.

Granted, everyone is different, and this by no means applies to all asexuals, but this is how I view it.

To me, it’s like if you couldn’t care less about art, but you had a partner who really loved it. You may have no motivation of your own to go to an art museum, but you know that taking your partner to one would make him or her happy, so you go for your partner.

I may have no intrinsic desire to have sex, but I don’t have any particular aversion to it either, so if I were in a committed and healthy relationship, I would have no problem having sex with my partner.

Like I said, this doesn’t apply to all asexuals, but I hope it helps some people understand why some aces have sex.

**It’s also important to note that regardless of whether you want sex or not, your partner should never pressure you or make you feel obligated to have sex with them. Doing something you are indifferent about to make your partner happy is very different from doing something you are uncomfortable with or don’t want to do to make your partner happy. Ace or not, it’s completely okay to not want sex, and you shouldn’t let your partner convince you to do anything that you aren’t comfortable with**

[acesnakes-blog]

you know, being on tumblr has prompted a certain attitude within me that i think is very healthy

i happen to be an ace/aro (not sure bout the aro yet but probably) individual and while before i always felt kinda weird about the fact that i didn’t really get crushes or anything like the rest of my friends, just strong wants for friendship or acknowledging a persons attractiveness without seeing any real desire beyond wanting to y’know  be like them, i now feel almost kinda special

only one percent on the world is asexual and one of those is me???? how cool is that???

i feel special for being ace/aro, almost a cut above type thing, and i think thats actually really great! you should feel cool bout the fact that theres something bout you that different from the norm, that you dont have to deal with all the shit sexuals and romantics do

tl;dr ace/aro individuals are clearly the best people in existence

[acesnakes-blog]

like/reblog if you would read a story/watch a show with an aromantic asexual protagonist

i really need to know for future reference!!

[acesnakes-blog]

spent the day making bracelets uvu

[acesnakes-blog]

trying to find good queer representation in media

trying to find good trans representation in media

trying to find any sort of asexual representation at all 

[acesnakes-blog]

I’ve heard people say:

Asexuals can’t masturbate

Asexuals can’t have sex

Asexuals can’t identify as asexual until they are “old enough”

Asexuals can’t be in a relationship

Asexuals can’t be in a relationship with sexuals

Gray-asexuality isn’t really asexuality

Demisexual isn’t really...

[acesnakes-blog]

I love it when people ask me about asexuality because I feel like I’m helping people understand something everybody should learn about and I feel useful for once

[acesnakes-blog]

I kind of feel bad for gray and Demi people. Not because they are gray or Demi. But because even within the ace and aro communities, there are those select assholes trying to invalidate them That sucks. I identified as gray-asexual before identifying as just asexual, and I was demiromantic before deciding I was aromantic. Sending love out to gray and Demi people out there. You are real, you are valid. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

[acesnakes-blog]

I am asexual, and we are not a myth.

[acesnakes-blog]

i really hate it how in definitions of asexual or aromantic there’s always this part where it says “oh no dont worry sometimes they get married and have kids and have completely normal lives!”

or “they have sex/have intimate relationships all the time for various reasons! they’re normal!”

no....

[acesnakes-blog]

As an akoiromantic, I'd like to add some of my own input.

As far as I'm aware, akoinesexuality/akoiromanticism can be defined not only as "attraction only to a lack of reciprocation" but also "attraction that turns to aversion when it is reciprocated." Meaning, if I find someone attractive, I'll want to date them until the moment they want to in return-- then all of my romantic feelings disappear and I'm left uncomfortable with the reciprocation. Up until that moment? Perfectly happy romantic attraction. After? Practically aromantic.

In terms of the length of duration of attraction, akois spend significantly little time finding themselves attracted to whomever, and the vast majority of any potential relationship essentially aromantic. And yes, I suppose you could say that akois could have unrequited crushes for people who never take notice/reciprocate their feelings. [Being demiromantic as well, I'm not familiar with the circumstances in which such a situation would arise. But I don't think it would be impossible, for sure.] But seeing as akois, as well as everyone else on the aro/ace spectrums, have to come to terms with romantic attraction (and lack thereof) in a way that is different than allosexual/alloromantic norms.

And being an akoi, I feel I definitely have the right to claim a spot on the aro spectrum, thank you very much.

--Paroxy

okay--know how demi means that you don't feel sexual/romantic attraction unless you have a close bond with someone? well, akoi is not feeling sexual/romantic attraction unless it's unreciprocated. Both are times when your attraction to someone is conditional. so how are you not seeing that akoi is on the ace/aro spectrum? like this was the last blog i expected to police people's identities, but that's what you're doing.

"well, akoi is not feeling sexual/romantic attraction unless it’s unreciprocated." 

So akoi people feel sexual attraction until they find out that potential partners reciprocate those feelings. So you could go weeks and even months being sexually attracted to people, without feeling asexual at all, unless someone said they were into you as well? That sounds allosexual to me.

Demi people go through their lives not feeling sexual attraction until they form strong emotional bonds with people. 

They’re not controlled by similar conditions at all. In fact you might say they’re the inverse of each other.

In the case of demisexuality, asexual seems to be the default until the conditions are met that allow sexual attraction.

In akoinesexuality, allosexual seems to be the default until the conditions are met that prevent sexual attraction.

That’s “how I’m not seeing” that akoi is on the ace/aro spectrum. It seems like a false equivalency. 

Pls acquire some chill.

[acesnakes-blog]

Ok I really love this… I don’t know where is it from but it’s all accurate and i really love it!

[acesnakes-blog]

Can we please stop making fun of people who are over 20 and are still virgins

Can we please stop making fun of people who are not interested in sex/are repulsed by sex

Can we please stop making fun of people who aren’t interested in a sexual or romantic relationship

[acesnakes-blog]

if you say that asexuality (or any of it’s subcategories) isn’t real i’m going to go into your room and put 1000 bees underneath your pillow

[acesnakes-blog]

Okay so the aro ace spectrum really is a goddamned spectrum and it’s expanding every day it seems like. Individuals are coming up with new terms to define certain ace or aro attractions and it’s really cool in my opinion! Like, in contrast to other orientations that define WHO one is attracted to,…