agirlwithocd

[agirlwithocd]

Where were you church when I needed you the most? 

I was recently invited to my best friends baby’s dedication at my old church. I excitedly agreed as I love her son greatly and want to apart of this important event. But as I think about going back to church it makes me sad and confused.   I grew up in the church. I had belonged to my last church for at least 15 years. I attended Sunday school, vbs, youth group, and summer programs. I attended…

[agirlwithocd]

A letter to my dad

A letter to my dad

Dear dad, I can’t believe another year has gone by. The utter despair that I felt that night three years ago is still so real, a pain that in that moment felt like it could never go away. And even though not a day goes by that I don’t miss you, its true what people say when you lose someone you love, the days get easier. One thing that became so real to me this past year is how much I want you…

[agirlwithocd]

To blog or not to blog

To blog or not to blog

Its been seven months since I have written on my blog. Why did I stop? …life…laziness…a bit of both. I was washing my hands last week and I caught myself counting 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 and then re-washing counting the same way and definitely taking much longer then I needed to. This isn’t uncommon, I have good days and bad days, good weeks and bad weeks. I have days that seem easier then…

[agirlwithocd]

A fatherless daughter

Men, I am writing this to you…an honest and open opinion from a fatherless child

I remember him teaching me to ride my bike in the back alley behind our house and running to swoop me up into his arms when I fell. I remember him taking us sledding in the winter and helping me up when I hit my head on the ice at the bottom of the hill. I remember him taking us to the water amusement park, his large loving hands grabbing and pulling me out of the water when I fell in water too…

[agirlwithocd]

Bam! He was so right! The other day my husband and I were sitting in a parking lot having a quick bite to eat in the car, when this lady pulled up in her van.

[agirlwithocd]

Today I locked myself in the Laundry Room

Today I locked myself in the Laundry Room

Having Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is one of the most debilitating and frustrating mental illnesses there is. The World Health Organization has ranked it in the top ten most debilitating diseases of any kind. It can be extremely time consuming and annoyingly frustrating at times but kind of humorous at other times. I won’t say it is like that for everyone who struggles with this mental illness,…

[agirlwithocd]

Dealing with disappointment

Being let down or not having something work out can really hurt and depending on the situation it can almost feel like you are mourning a loss. Everyone will face some sort of disappointment in their life whether it be not getting a job, not getting into the school you wanted, didn’t get the grade you wanted, letting yourself down or being let down by friends or family. Some situations are easier…

[agirlwithocd]

I will never eat out again!

I will never eat out again!

Today I finally went to a Food Safety Course. I have been trying to take this course for about half a year now and finally was able to make it work. I really did not put that much thought into whether or not taking this course would affect my OCD or not…until I got there that is. The class started and as they are going over the different subjects that we were going to talk about, I had this awful…

[agirlwithocd]

Fan Expo 2016

Another year of Fan expo has come and gone. This year we had big plans to design and make some really awesome costumes to cosplay in. Jason was going to be a Black Mage and I was going to be a Steam Punk moogle. It would have been great but just like last year I was very unprepared. Of course we still had a blast both days. It is such a unique community to be apart of. The people are so much fun!…

[agirlwithocd]

Techniques for handling Anxiety

Techniques for handling Anxiety

Anxiety at any time can be awful. It can feel like you can’t breath, pressure in your chest, it may feel like a heart attack, sweating, shaking, nausea, dizziness and I am sure many other symptoms. Not everyone experiences anxiety the same. Sometimes someone may be having anxiety and the people around them may not even know. When I experience anxiety its usually not visible. My chest feels tight,…

[agirlwithocd]

OOTD- April 21st, 2016 If you end up spending anytime reading or checking my blog you will learn that I love fashion.

[agirlwithocd]

The crazy lady and the blood bath

The crazy lady and the blood bath

To start off I will say that the title is extremely exaggerated, but anyone with contamination OCD or anyone with an irrational fear of blood can maybe understand how in the moment this is what it felt like. I was having a good day. I like good days. I am…was starting to feel like I was getting back to feeling good. Isn’t that always right when the everything seems to go to hell? I had a couple…

[agirlwithocd]

Neil Hilborn - "OCD"

Neil Hilborn – “OCD”

The first time I saw her… Everything in my head went quiet. All the tics, all the constantly refreshing images just disappeared. When you have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, you don’t really get quiet moments. Even in bed, I’m thinking: Did I lock the doors? Yes. Did I wash my hands? Yes. Did I lock the doors? Yes. Did I wash my hands? Yes. But when I saw her, the only thing I could think about…

[agirlwithocd]

Hair Adventures

Recently I was blessed with the opportunity to be a hair model for an amazing stylist at a local salon. I had been following her on Instagram for a while when she advertised that she was looking for hair models that were willing to have brighter colours put in their hair. At first I was a little nervous, not because of the bright colours but because I would have to put myself in a situation that…

[agirlwithocd]

Where has the time gone?

Where has the time gone?

The last six months have flown by and what can I show for this seemingly lost time? Well let me think…about six months ago is when I started managing the local coffee shop that I have been working at and I am in the process of buying. I guess that would answer it! A year ago I didn’t even think I could handle working in the food industry business, but I have been able to learn how to cope on a…

[agirlwithocd]

Mental health system you have failed me

I am currently in my family doctors office after two days of numerous phone calls to get my prescription renewed. I am frustrated, disappointed and really just a little peeved. I normally just get my pharmacy to fax a renewal to my psychiatrist to get my prescription renewed. This has never been a problem but apparently my psychiatrist stopped responding to the faxes. And guess what? The mental health clinic and the pharmacy neglected to tell me that this was happening. So I go to get my pills and I'm refused. I'm directed to call the clinic. Has anyone had withdrawal symptoms from Effexor?! You don't want them!!! Maybe it's my fault for waiting till I was pretty much out or maybe for trusting too much in the medical system. I called the mental health clinic to find out what their deal was and I am told my file was closed. Uh?! Huh?! My psychiatrist had left in July and clearly it wasn't important to tell his patients that they needed to find a new means of getting their medication. Like seriously?! You are dealing with people that have mental illnesses. You are the one that prescribed me a drug that I have severe withdrawal symptoms from. The sad thing in all this was that no one seemed to care to help. I am not and never have been a drug abuser. I don't even think you can abuse the drug of Effexor. I get that there are systems set up to make sure people are safe but there should be grace or other means of help in situations like this. Maybe I'm dreaming, but the mental health system can clearly do better. I think I am done venting. I have my prescription in hand and thankfully will my have to go through the withdrawal.

[agirlwithocd]

Coffee shop life!! #coffeeshop #coffee #selfie #espresso