allymariwrites

[allymariwrites]

I can’t tell you that

I love you

It’s been too soon.

I barely know you.

But every inch of me

screams

to let you in

Like you’re a familiar

Like you crawled

into my skin

Like you’ve

belonged there

before.

-Reincarnated Lover by Allymari

[allymariwrites]

I think we can

live in the

normalcy

of each day.

Break biscuits

with our own

Depressions.

Warm black tea

for our Pessimisms.

Spread sweet red

jam over wafers

for our Heartbreaks.

I think we can

Sit patiently

and redirect them.

See! the sunshine outside

Sit! in audience

to dancing flames of

floral perfumes

Smack! lips against lips

to relish buttery flakes

Stroke! your claws past

ruffles of pink chiffon and crumbs

I think we can

still savor this taste.

Sing to sweet soured blueberries

in beds of underbaked dough.

Forgive overly-creamed Earl Grey

warning of future bad days.

Smile at asymmetrically cut

finger sandwiches.

Retain joy midst

whiffs of burnt scone ends.

I think we can

live in the delights

of how pleasent the

moments of today are.

Reconsider Pessimisms mantras,

Rework Depressions cycles,

Reverse Heartbreaks aches.

I think we can

also acknowledge.

That, when the sun disappears,

some darkness is destined

to remain. Reminding us

of our fragile humanity.

Feed with forgiveness our

Tasty fickle minds.

- Interventions Over Tea by Allymari

[allymariwrites]

Sometimes, I bread chicken with Italian seasoning, Recaito and Sazon. Just to remind myself how my grandmother's Coney Island apartment smelled in 1997.

Sometimes, I sing La Lupe at the top of my lungs over candlelight, guitar in hand, and hearts on sleeve just to put myself in my grandfather's 1970’s loafers.

Sometimes, I clean my house with Fabuloso and get on my knees as Aguanile spills from my lungs all over the tile floors just to get a flash back of my dad and his mustache from 2002.

Sometimes, I remove the kernels from cobs of corn and feed imaginary chickens in my head just to stir up the sounds of the grunts of approval from my Abuelo in Lajas.

Sometimes, I sit in solitude and pray the rosary, forgetting my jaded stances and turning my glances to the God my abuela reveres with her life, just to remember her smile.

Sometimes, I let my toddler stay in bed with me past her bedtime to watch old novelas, the same ones that my Mom used to watch with me, just so I can remember what her warmth felt like.

Life will have us believe in its repetitive monotony. But in that monotony comes moments we will never get back, loved ones who will never be as they once were, and versions of ourselves we will surely outgrow.

Challenge yourself to be present in these ordinary moments.

One day you’ll look back with extraordinary longing.

- Unfading Fotografías by Allymari

[allymariwrites]

Asking for a friend. The friend is me.

What did you do? 

When you felt stuck

Like all of your best days are behind you 

Too afraid to succeed 

because you know your potential

And it terrifies you 

When will you stop being scared of how bright you can shine

When will you allow yourself the opportunity to thrive 

To break the mold you’ve shoved yourself into

You’ve tried to be plain

You’ve tried to be little 

You’ve tried to camouflage 

and disguise yourself 

as average

But 

you are anything but

You are everything but

You can do it 

But

What is the fear?

Where does it stem from? 

and how can you pull it out from its roots 

To dry off its wet feet and soil its ends

To water and tend to 

To prune and then to 

Allow it the space to grow into 

What it was always destined to be

What did you do when you felt stuck?

Did you allow yourself to remain 

Or did you push through that pain?

Did you allow your leaves to break through 

Despite the thorns that grew from you

Or did you...

What did you do?

[allymariwrites]

To Sit On Her Moon

I'm jealous of the tattoo on your chest

I'm jealous of the little man 

That gets to sit, happily 

Just above your chest

While he pontificates at the moon 

constructed of paint and flesh

See, he may have not been born on you 

but you chose to put him there

Sways, happily, on his little island of skin 

To the soft thunder of each heart beat 

How beautiful the songs must be 

that he sings

In harmony

with your inner voice

In the summer you can find him basking within the rays of your smile 

Taking in the compliments of his beauty from all who get the chance to observe

In the winter you hold him tight as he enjoys his own thoughts saddled in your décolletage

I'm jealous of the tattoo on your chest 

I too want to be apart of you 

I want my image to be etched into your memory

as a reminder of my love

I crave the permanence you allow him 

[allymariwrites]

I’ve never felt this deep 

Yearning

Like you were 

always supposed to be 

apart of me

All along

I’ve never felt this deep 

Affection 

So quickly I let down all my walls 

and as the dust settled 

you walked in 

Confidently 

I’ve never felt this deep

Love

One that is growing 

with the strongest of roots

I’ve never felt anything like this

I’ve never felt anything like

You.

[allymariwrites]

I need you like 

I need air 

Enter me 

Consuming 

with your smoke

Push against 

the Furthest walls 

once supple lungs

Tug at the edges 

Of her vessels

You need me like 

The sea

Meets

The moon

Using each other

despite their distance

Magnetically dancing

into the shore

Crashing perfectly

Dropplets 

containing memory

Of your depth 

Within my sea

We need each other Like

Darkness 

craves 

light

Although its comfort

Is in solitude

It is most beautiful 

When she peeks 

through

Conturing edges

Filling out

her crevices

Artfully displaying

Their hidden

Imperfections

[allymariwrites]

Nothing Compares

Nothing compares 

to the feeling of 

flying above the clouds 

with you

Hand in hand

To touch the sky and drink from the moon 

Lips parted 

To float in the nothingness 

and see the world 

beneath our feet

Buoyant bodies

And to realize 

its just you and me

That time and space 

are ours 

Levitating in that 

blue abyss 

for hours

Nothing comes close 

the feeling of being yours 

Not even the deepest ocean 

can relate 

To the waves that emanate 

from our passing ships

Or the roar 

of our crashing tides

You are 

my depth 

and aether

[allymariwrites]

Smiles Compliment Scars

She left the big horror house

Gladdened with scars

And stitches 

up 

to 

her 

soul

And in the peace and calm

Of her new refuge

In her corner of seclusion

With light peeking through 

She untangled every 

Trauma 

that kept her married 

to her anguish

[allymariwrites]

Light Frequencies

You could never see what I see in her

A spectrum of light in a frequency made just for me

That hits When the Corner of her lips meets her cheeks As they embrace the edges of her glasses Just so That a prism of light peeks through It neutralizes even the darkest of souls

You could never hear What I hear from her

Her voice, a melody Of healing vibrations The words: “I love you” flowing from her vocal chords Each ripple rebuilding the trauma Tangled up in my DNA “Baby, I’m here to stay’s” That rehome and erase Anytime I’ve ever felt I didn’t have a place

You’ll never feel What I feel for her

Hands that hold without a drop of lost blood even the sharpest of Broken and thorned glass hearts A single loving graze Forces you to move your hands tend to your own wounds Patiently placing each piece In a graceful pace

Her’s is the most healing of loves

Framed and mirror-like To reflect; in return projections of raw beauty Like constellations She teaches you, patiently To connect the dots that lead you back to her celebratory embrace Welcomed back home By the North Star

That is the light from the prisms Projected by the glass sitting, patiently, under her eyes When her lips rest At the furthest edges of her smile