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knife png to click and drag for your tumblr stabbing needs

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hey :/ i need some advice, feeling super ill today and my wife calpurnia had a weird dream about me dying. should i go to the senate meeting today anyway? not rlly feeling up to it

if you don’t go to the senate the senators will think you’re cringe

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merry fucken christmas heres your

PRESENT

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Happy none pizza w/ left beef day everyone

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i care btw. i care abt the song ur listening to or the bug u saw or how u just got outta the shower or how ur happily hanging out w ur friends or how ur kinda sad or how good was the meal u just had or ur fav character from an indie game nobody knows or if u chugged down some water. i always will

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“fish don’t even know theyre wet” and? you don’t even know youre luft (air equivalent of wet)

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My son egg n his brother cheese

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call me easily amused but i still think it's so funny to go "who said that" after saying something wildly horny

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Im a little bit delirious rn but this is so fucking funny to me im losing it. SUNDAY SANDWICH

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For those who needed to hear it today

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when a mutuals struggling but you know you can't say anything to help so you just like their post and hope they know they're not alone

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･ ｡ ☆∴ ｡　* 　･ﾟ *｡★･ 　　 ･ *ﾟ｡　　 * 　 ･ ﾟ｡･ﾟ★｡ ☆ﾟ･｡°. *　　ﾟ｡·･｡ ﾟ 　　 　ﾟ *.｡☆｡ ★　･ 　　 * ☆ ｡･ﾟ*.｡ 　　　 *　★ ﾟ･｡ * ｡ 　　　　 ･　　ﾟ☆ ｡

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every single time time i try to check facebook marketplace for furniture i get jumpscared by this (admittedly sick) custom baljeet coffee table

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