alsobooger

[alsobooger]

I wear crazy elaborate outfits and people will ask how I wear them without being over stimulated and or in pain- who said I wasn’t overstimulated and or in pain?

[alsobooger]

Making plans with me is a nightmare because it’s like “oh whoops sorry I forgot about the dyke Rocco tea party” or “no wait I’m driving dildos to my friend up in Phoenix for a drag competition that day” and then I just stare off into space as you suggest other dates because I’m confronted with just how grotesquely gay I am day in day out.

[alsobooger]

[alsobooger]

Thank god I’m an art major who will never make money cuz if I made money I’d do stupid shit like get that surgery that makes you taller and buy numerous leopard trench coats.

[alsobooger]

Fan art artists and fan fiction writers who take mlm ships and head canon them as boy dykes are melting my frozen-over, yaoi hating heart.

[alsobooger]

Saying this as someone who’s gotten Burned at brunch

Brunch is not a safe space for gossip- if you city is small enough it Will be overhead at brunch everyone needs to start talking shit by candle light …among the reeds.

[alsobooger]

Brunch is not a safe space for gossip- if your city is small enough it Will be overhead at brunch everyone needs to start talking shit by candle light …among the reeds.

[alsobooger]

[alsobooger]

Just went on a date so bad I’m feeling inspired to reprioritize my career goals

[alsobooger]

If you are considering walking home at night in an evening gown and 7inch platforms because “it’s not the far” I am here to tell you from personal experience it is that far and an uber is in fact worth the money.

[alsobooger]

Had my straight guy friend make the fatal error of putting a navy blue hanky in his back right pocket and then post a pick on instagram stories asking if anyone knew what it meant

[alsobooger]

What should I name my headless mannequin who’s currently dressed as a nun? Ignore the giganormous fake boobs

[alsobooger]

Great news everyone it turned out to be my clam chowder the whole time

Been eyeing my roommates clam chowder for weeks now… on a scale of 1-10 how shitty of a roommate move is eating their canned chowder because honestly I’m willing to accept the consequences of up to a 5 on the shitty roommate scale.

[alsobooger]

Been eyeing my roommates clam chowder for weeks now… on a scale of 1-10 how shitty of a roommate move is eating their canned chowder because honestly I’m willing to accept the consequences of up to a 5 on the shitty roommate scale.

[alsobooger]

Only those pure of heart and courageous of spirit can grow the perfect bush- if your bush isn’t perfect it’s both a simple physical flaw and a deeply rooted character flaw

[alsobooger]

My eyes were bigger than my stomach it’s feeling more like a half a block of tofu night

It’s me and an entire block of tofu against the world

[alsobooger]

I feel like Sisyphus with his mfing bolder trying to get all my decor up and put all my clothes away in my new place. Everybody loves a fashion mother fucker until they have to sleep with a mannequin in their bed because there is no space for it in their room yet.