altschumes-blog

[altschumes-blog]

photomcgrath:

Had to inform a client today that it’s been several years since people used film in most cameras. It honestly took me a second to figure out what she meant by film… Oops.

Wait what did she mean? What did you mean? I’m so confused.

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mitchell-maia:

Gladly. 

Great! When I get a bonus i’m paying for a round for you!

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craftyemma:

I wish… I mean, no. Nope I am sure it was a child. 

Do you have any that come? And can I steal a child to “about a boy” them?

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kishserratosx:

I was having a conversation with my mom on the phone earlier and she started asking about my sex life and if I’m using protecting. There is nothing more awkward than that! Don’t get me wrong, my mom and I have a close relationship but I’m not going to sit there and tell her about those things. Gosh…

Well, don’t keep me on edge here, do you?

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mitchell-maia:

If I had an ice cream delivery service that is sure what I would do, really, it’s just the best for the business. 

It’s actually not that bad of an idea cause if people eat more ice cream, then I also have more job. SO please, do rot your teeth, I’d like more money.

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mitchell-maia:

Not if it comes in a ice box? 

I think you’re starting to ask a lot of people now...

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mitchell-maia:

Do you know what this town needs? A desert delivery place. I really want ice cream but I am far too lazy to walk to the store and get some. 

That wouldn’t be super practical though, it’d probably melt on the way...

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craftyemma:

Same here, though. 

Are you sure it wasn’t, like, a hot single dad?

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craftyemma:

Made the mistake of wearing white jeans while the kids were in painting today. Didn’t notice until I was at the store and some kids asked their mom “why does that lady have a green hand on her butt?” I swear, I love my job. 

That’s more action that I,ve gotten in forever, so kudos to you.

[altschumes-blog]

This pleases me - A Character Aesthetic

- Amy Beth Schumer

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professional-cinderellax:

Me with lingerie…I know this is kinda TMI but it was supposed to go to my girlfriend…It ended up going to my…dad. Yeah…

Meh that’s not so bad. I mean, you can always be like “I value your opinion dad, what do you think of this outfit? I want to know if I should return it”. I mean it’s still weird but less weird?

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professional-cinderellax:

That awkward moment when you realize you sent a text message to the wrong person…I’m just going to hide in a corner forever. This is beyond embarrassing.

How graphic was it?

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aribooxgrande:

Today was an…interesting day at work. I almost got into a fight with one of the costumers and that should say a lot because I rarely get angry. Do you know what’s the worst part? That I’d probably have to give an explanation to my boss and the only answer I have is because the customer was an asshole. I never get into fights, I’m never rude, I’m always polite as long as you respect me and my job. This has been the worst day of my life.

Assholes should never get away with it, you tell them off! I have zero patience for all this bullshit. If a patient gives me attitude, I poke their gums off.

[altschumes-blog]

brie-lars0n:

You are the best person ever. 

Bullshit, but I’ll take it still. Not that my ego needed to be flattered any more, ask Kim.

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witcarson:

Uhm, probably about a 7? Like weird but no killing people weird. 

Okay and just, asking for a friend, on that scale where would you put a creepy stuffed toys collectioner that is absolutely not me?

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chefchloeb:

Okay, but what if I always need you?

Then I’m like any “techie” living in his paren’ts basement, I’ll never leave.

[altschumes-blog]

brie-lars0n:

YES!

You know I keep your fave in stock at all time.