andrasteowain

[andrasteowain]

Reblog for handsome birb

reblog the money pigeon for a financially stable future

[andrasteowain]

Thank you so so much

I might've added the BG3 Art Book to my dnd assets stash

It's got stuff like the 5e players' handbook + 5e’s character sheet, the dm's guide, critical role's explorer's guide to wildmount, baldur's gate and waterdeep city encounters, 101 potions and their effects, volo's guide to monsters, both of Xanathar's guides, a bunch of other encounters, one shots, class builds, and other fun stuff!!

[andrasteowain]

[andrasteowain]

Boo!

[andrasteowain]

That Jar Jar Binks “ hung like a whale” post got me thinking.

“ Oooh, muy muy yousa tastin good “

“ Mesa called Jar Jar Binks, mesa your humble sex slave!“

“ Ex-squeeze me, but meesa don think thissa gunna fit!”

“ Yousa should ride me now, okeeday? “

“Dissen gonna be bery messy!”

“Icky, icky goo!”

Other contributions from a server I am in:

“Mesa hungen like biiiig Gooba Fish!”

“ Yousa calls ME bigen Boss now!”

[andrasteowain]

bi is short for bites you bites you bites you

[andrasteowain]

Here is a free pdf of the players handbook

Here is a free pdf of xanathars guide to everything

Here is a free pdf to monsters manual

Here is a free pdf to tashas cauldron of everything

Here is a free pdf to dungeon master’s guide

Here is a free pdf to volo’s guide to monsters

Here is a free pdf of mordenkainen’s tomb of foes

For all your dnd purposes

[andrasteowain]

Hey, can y’all rb this if it’s okay to send you messages asking about your ocs, cause on god I wanna interact with y’all but I am terrified of being annoying lol

[andrasteowain]

[andrasteowain]

Howdy there, could I politely have Jake, Quentin, Steve, and Leon react to a s/o that likes to fuck with the killer? Like, “YO FRANK YOUR PULL OUT GAME IS WEAK.”

Honest to god, me when I finally shift into my DBD DR. Like, my whole goal with be to cause so much chaos in the Entity's realm. No one will be safe from my harassment, no killer or survivor.

Please don't like my posts, if you like and want to support me as a writer do not like. Instead reblog, comment, or just leave a nice message in my inbox. Likes are discouraging writers from writing; there is more info for people who are interested here.

Tags: Cursing, the reader being a little shit, general fluff and goofiness

Starting off Steve is going to be your best friend in the Fog, the second he sees someone fully on board with being a dumb little shit Steve jumps to join in .

It started like this, you were in a trial with the nurse and doing a pretty good job of looping.

however, you got cornered in a dead zone, you started to panic and the nurse blade arched for you.

Without thinking you yell at her while spinning around trying to avoid the hit, "Move, I'm gay!". Why that was the first thing to come to your mind, you have no idea but it seemed to work.

The blade whizzed past your shoulder and you ran away giggling like an idiot, you turn to look over and saw that the nurse was standing there trying to registered what you just yelled at her.

Unbeknownst to the both of you David and Steve were on gen nearby and saw/heard everything, the both of them had to bite their lips not to bust out laughing and notifying the nurse.

They now quote that whenever you are in earshot, you can't help but laugh at the same time, a matter of fact it only encouraged you to fuck around more.

In another trial with Deathslinger you saw him walking towards you and your gen and just stood up staring at him, he raised his gun but when you didn't move but matter of fact stood wide stance he stopped in confusion.

He put his gun down and stared at you for a moment, that's when you raise your finger like a gun and say "bang"

There was a painfully long pause before Deathslinger quick scoped a shot into your chest, it was worth a shot hehehhehe

He did find it amusing and will occasionally chuckle when he remembers it.

The worst/best moment within a trial with Legion, specifically Frank. Dwight was downed and being carried to a hook, you ran forward and Dwight's face lit up thinking you were going to help him.

That's when you stopped and yelled at Frank "Yo, Frank your pullout game is WEAK!!!", everyone stopped, even Frank and Dwight. He didn't turn to you but instead shrugged Dwight off of his shoulder and slowly turned to you, your own heart sinking to the pit of your stomach.

You got tunnelled and camped out of the game, It worth it though.

Another time you were getting face camped by the Pig for other unrelated shit, you were zoning out waiting for the Entity to stab you when you noticed how close she was to you, just staring up at you.

That's when the bright idea of bopping her snoot came to your head, so naturally, that's what you did.

She paused to think about what happened and gently laughed before hitting you on the hook, the other survivors picked up on that though and now everyone tried to boop her snoot

Your personal favourite is with Ghostface, for the most part, you hate him but the two of you had playful banter dynamic.

In the Grim Pantry, you were hiding in the tall reeds as Ghosty walked past, you stuck your leg out and he fell face first.

You watched as time passed in slow motion, Danny fell face first and didn't even get his hands up, slid down in the mud for a solid 30 cm and his legs plopped down behind him.

When Ghost got up to look at you, you wore the smuggest and little shit smile you could have worn.

Now, whenever you get the chance you'll take a handful of dirty and show Danny, "Look, I got you a snack mud man".

He does not appreciate the nickname.

[andrasteowain]

This is my favorite character from homestuck

Love the way she looks so cool. Can't wait to see more.

[ID: a drawing of kanaya maryam on a space background and space sign. she's a fat homestuck troll drawn with green horns and orange scleras. she is wearing a dark shirt with the virgo symbol in green with long sleeves underneath, and a red skirt that reaches her ankles. she's wearing dark flats, and has her hands clapsed at her hip. she's grinning widely. underneath it is a banner that says "please reblop my art, likes do literally nothing to help the artist". /end IDs]

[andrasteowain]

My beloved little scrimbus <3

Also if you haven't watched monkey wrench on YouTube please for the love of God go do. It's got literally everything including giant buff dinosaur lady. It's got goofy music, smooth animation, and I really want more so please go support the creator

[andrasteowain]

today’s the only day you can reblog this 💙

[andrasteowain]

bobby time.

[andrasteowain]

The other day I watched a little boy get knocked to the ground by an older kid who was running by. He burst into tears as his mother hurried over.

“Here’s a bandaid for ya,” I said, producing one from my vest pocket.

“Oh, he’s not bleeding, thank you though!”

I lowered my voice and leaned in. “Kids think bandaids are health magic,” I said. “Ask him where it hurts and exploit that placebo effect.”

She did just that, and instantly the kid stopped crying and thanked her. “I’ll have to remember that,” she said.

Children: #HACKED

[andrasteowain]

Teach boys about periods

My mother also talked about periods to my brothers.

When I first got mine I had terrible cramps. Crippling cramps. I once was camping with my family and a few of my big brother’s friends when my period came. My cramps were so bad that my mom gave me a full pain killer ( I was 13 and before that she only gave me pills cut in half).

I literally laid down on my parents’ air mattress and cried in pain for an hour before the pill kicked in.

My brothers friend came in to the big tent and I was just curled up and sobbing. Now, I was quite the tomboy and was known to rough house with my brothers and their friends and made sure I wasnt seen as just “a little girl.” So my brother’s friend was confused to see me openly weeping in the fetal position (seriously, these were the worst cramps I have had in my life. My vision went white). He asked what was wrong with me.

My big brother stood up immediately and suggested a nice long hike. During this hike I am sure he had a pretty awkward conversation with his friend explaining menstrual cramps, because when they got back the pain pill had (mostly) kicked in and I was sitting up at a table when my brother’s friend sheepishly asked me if I was feeling better. I said I was better, and he said good.

When we made s'mores that night my brother and his friend kept me well supplied with chocolate.

Making sure sons know as much about periods and menstruation as daughters makes them better brothers, better sons better fathers, and better men. A man that understands a period will not lightly accuse a woman of “being on her period” if the woman is in an argument.

Raise better sons Teach them about normal bodily functions.

[andrasteowain]

Schadenfreude - D&D Custom Spell

A bit of a joke spell, but a spell nonetheless (should’ve uploaded this on April fools day but whatever) 

1st-level echantment

Casting time: 1 reaction | Range: 40 ft. | Components: V, S | Duration: Instantaneous

You mock the death of an enemy, tormenting its allies. When an enemy that you can see within range falls to 0 hp, you can use a reaction to cast this spell. You laugh outrageously at the now dead creature, finding humor in its death. When you do this, all of the dead creature’s allies within 60 ft. of the dead creature that can see both you and their fallen ally must make a Wisdom saving throw. Affected creatures take 1d6 Psychic damage on a failed save, and half as much on a successful one. This spell does not effect enemies who have an Intelligence score of 7 or less, or creatures that can’t hear.

      Additionally, if an enemy dies, comes back to life, then dies again in the same combat encounter, then you can cast this spell without expending a spell slot.

At higher levels: When you cast this spell using a higher spell slot, the damage increases by 1d6 for each spell slot above 1st.

This is a Bard Spell.