androidantifreeze-blog

[androidantifreeze-blog]

i know i mess up a lot and have bad days where almost nothing gets done but sometimes i just want to hear "its okay" instead of "you're just not dependable" or "this is why i don't want to be with you" i guess that's probably coddling or selfish but it would be nice

[androidantifreeze-blog]

So I attend group therapy at the VA hospital every week. There is a guy there who only goes maybe once or twice a month but has made me feel uncomfortable on a few occasions (he is a bivger than average male & i am a tiny lady person)... cornering me in the hall after therapy and talking until I made some excuse to leave, verbally threatening my boyfriend with bodily harm if he ever saw him in the building with me (i occassionally talk about my partner in therapy and this guy said 'if I ever saw him, I don't think he'd leave the building alive) etc etc I also attend AA meetings closer to where I live and today, I saw this guy in my meeting and immediately became terrified. I'm aware it could be my anxiety in overdrive or just a coincidence but I live 45 minutes to an hour away from the VA hospital and I'm almost positive this guy has said before he lives not in my area. In any case, I waited around a while and left after he did because I didn't want him to see what I drive or follow me home and I'm still terrified. Idk if I'm overreacting but I am actually afraid and it's not an okay feeling

[androidantifreeze-blog]

does anyone else get anxiety about good things? my sweet boyfriend has apparently been planning a surprise for me for a few days now and told me to expect it today. I hate surprises, not because I don't appreciate them but because my anxiety makes even good things panic worthy. surprise fell through late and rescheduled to another day this week but I got nothing done today because I was stuck in a constant state of ...waiting. I don't know how to explain when my head gets stuck. And now I feel guilty because I got nothing done today. and it's not an excuse and i should have just barreled through. it's just hard to explain and I don't know if it's just me needing to fix myself.

[androidantifreeze-blog]

Parenting a toddler FYI:

3yo: I want some water

Me: Okay, where's your cup

3yo:

Me:

3yo: I can't find it

Me: ...you haven't even moved

[androidantifreeze-blog]

I want to utilize this to vent, to reach out, as journal therapy but idk how I get people to actually see it or see me.

[androidantifreeze-blog]

yesterday's selfie ft. my favorite lipstick and my favorite shirt #motd #ootd #selfie #girlswithtattoos #myfavoritecolor #almostnofilter #shamelessselfie

[androidantifreeze-blog]

My boyfriend just said 'I'm gonna be honest with you, I don't really like that lipstick at all' and I said 'okay, that's fine, then don't wear it' and now he's mad

😂😂😂😂

[androidantifreeze-blog]

Any other mentally ill people struggle with thinking you're doing really good and getting better and then you realize you're just a shit human doing shit things to other humans? I really do try to be a good person

[androidantifreeze-blog]

How do i do a tumble